Proof of Life Try as she might, her house was never clean. At least not as clean as she thought it should be. If company was expected, there was always a mad turbulence of activity: floors were quickly gone over, seats were cleared, and obvious surfaces dusted. The bathroom was made to be spotless because she remembered what it was like to visit her aging mother and not be able to sit on the toilet due to all the dog hair stuck to it. There were strict instructions not to use the newly cleaned bathroom—it was clean for company—and they were followed by a list of dire consequences should one forget, not a problem since her kids were boys and they preferred to pee behind the barn anyway. One day, after having to move a greasy hydraulic part from her kitchen counter in order to make dinner, she got fed up and went to visit a friend. This friend had children who were grown and out of the house and her husband still had a good job that he disappeared to every day. She entered her friend’s house, careful to remove her shoes at the door. She was embarrassed that her white athletic socks were not quite as white as the carpet and tried to stretch her jeans down to cover them. They sat around an impeccably refinished antique table and ate plum cake and drank cup after cup of English tea while trading stories about life and life after kids. She breathed in deeply, appreciating the fresh scent of the flowers on the table. Her probing eyes approved of the fact that everything was in its place and there was no dirt, no unfinished project lying around, no shoes to trip over, no pet hair or dog nose smudges on the windows. But, as could be predicted after all that tea, she eventually had to use the bathroom. Bladder emptied, she carefully wiped down the toilet with tissue in order to leave no trace behind, then could not decide what to do with the tissue so she stuffed it into her pocket. After washing her hands, she, again undecided, wiped them on her jeans so she would not spoil the towel hanging nearby. As she said goodbye to her friend, she could not help thinking that something had been missing. Back home she was greeted by her three big dogs, one jumping into her truck as she opened the door and another putting his muddy paws right into the middle of her chest. Once in the house, she noticed that someone had finished the dinner, but the stack of dirty dishes was waiting in the sink. The greasy hydraulic part had been joined by another equally greasy part that she did not recognize. She sighed and eased into an old rocking chair. As the rocking chair creaked back and forth, she felt strangely content. She had figured out what was missing at her friend’s house. Proof of life. Her friend’s house was stagnant, no evidence anyone lived there, sterile. If a spotless house meant that the ones you love are not there, then she wanted no part of it. She would tolerate the mess as long as there were kids, pets, husband around to make it. But, she might still make the kids pee behind the barn if they couldn’t at least learn to lift the seat.

Ramona-- Would you mind telling me what sort of problems you are still seeing with your son's reading or schoolwork in general?

Thanks for all the replies. Here is some more info about where I had him tested--tell me if any of it sounds fishy. I have done other testing in the past and have heard a lot of different diagnosis, so hearing from yet another discipline that he would benefit from their therapy is not new. The doctor in question has OD, MS, FCOVD behind her name. The tests performed were: Visual Acuity Refraction Oculomotor Evaluation Developmental Eye Movement Test Evaluation of Accommodative Ability Evaluation of Binocular Sensory-Motor Fusion Randot Stereopsis Evaluation (Depth Perception) Wold Sentence Copy Test Jordan Left-Right Reversal Test Test of Visual-Perceptual Skills (TVPS) Beery Developmental Test of Visual-Motor Integration Monroe III Visual Memory Test He scored in the 1% in several. She based the 45 sessions, 11 month period on that and his age. He would be having a therapist work with him--not her directly. The therapist is working on her masters in special education. The cost is based on $142 per session (45 sessions, once a week, over the course of 11 months). They are 1 hour long. We are to do home exercises for 10-20 minutes every day. If we require equipment, they will loan it to us free. The doctor herself will evaluate him 6 times with an additional charge of $80 per evaluation. This occurs after eight in-office visits. She accepts different payment options: pay $6390 in full, pay half now and half at session 16, or monthly with an additional fee attached. If the doctor believes the patient has reached the goals sooner, payments will be refunded. If we cancel before the end, we lose whatever we paid. So....run?

How can you know if problems with schoolwork are due to dyslexia or visual processing problems? My son, who is now 17, has had all sorts of problems throughout his school career. He had not been formally tested for dyslexia, yet met most of the "things to look for" on dyslexia checklists. I have read several books on dyslexia, including The Secret Life of the Dyslexic, and have always thought that it fits him. He has undergone lots of different types of therapies over the years and I am finally getting around to looking into the vision component (be kind, there is only so much I can handle at once). So, I have had him tested by a COVD registered lady who found him to be functioning in the first percentile on a lot of the tests. (heavy sigh) He is reading and can read a lot better than he ever has, handwriting is better than some boys his age, but does not like to do either and his comprehension is not where it should be. He gets very tired when having to sit and do any sort of desk work. At any rate, I guess I am rambling, but do you all think there is a good way to determine how much vision therapy will help (to the tune of $6200)? Or please feel free to give me any advice you can.

What do you have to lose by contacting her and telling her essentially what you have posted here? You are already hurt; but, you are also assuming an awful lot that may or may not be true.

I think I would buy what I love and work with it. Could you put window shades on the lower half of the window, making it seem more like the wall?

I love ours. I have 3 dogs and they all wear one when we walk. They get so excited when they see them that I can't get them on fast enough. They are not meant to be left on 24/7--that is when they can cause skin wounds. Mine has a buzz feature so I can buzz them to get their attention first. If they don't come I can administer a shock ranging in strength. This is a nice feature since they don't have to be within hearing distance in order for me to tell them to come back. A lot of times we have strong wind and I know they can't hear me, but they can feel a buzz. They are wonderful tools.

I am home alone with my 3 dogs. We will go for a nice walk pretty soon. I have three invites to Thanksgiving at friends' houses. I don't have to cook. I didn't have to endure an 11 hour car ride to Kansas. I don't have to spend 7 whole days at my in-laws.

This is true buttercream--not boiled icing and not the stuff with powdered sugar. It is from Cook's Illustrated. Vanilla Buttercream 4 large eggs 1 cup sugar 2 teaspoons vanilla pinch salt one pound of unsalted butter, softened Combine the sugar, eggs, vanilla and salt in the bowl of a standing mixer and place over simmering water. Whisk gently and constantly until a thermometer reaches 160. Remove bowl and beat on medium high speed with whisk attachment until light, airy, and cooled to room temperature, about 5 minutes. Reduce speed to medium and add butter, one quarter stick at a time. Once all the butter is added, increase speed to high and beat one minute longer until light, fluffy, and thoroughly combined. May be stored in the fridge up to 5 days.

My 18 year old is finishing up his senior year and has worked for pay since he was 9. He started picking tomatoes at $3/basket; he did that for several years. He started a flower business growing and selling cut flower bouquets at the farmer's market when he was 14/15 and did that for 2 years. It did not cost a lot to start but was a lot of work. He grossed over $6000 those two years. He has watched people's pets while they were out of town and received $5 per day for less than an hour's work. He then worked for a mechanic for $6 per hour for a summer. He branched out and started fixing string trimmers/mowers/then tractors for people, also working on his own equipment. He learned a lot over the years and now that he is 18, he charges anywhere from $20 to $40 per hour. He is helping a man gather scrap metal--they are splitting the proceeds and he is earning anywhere from $10-$35 per hour. None of these things has cost much to start up. We already had tools and my son owns his own truck and gooseneck trailer.

Wow! I was just looking at refrigerators at Lowe's. May I ask which one you bought?

I believe homeschoolers are considered private schools. The state cannot dictate what or when you teach. I took my kids out of public school 4 years ago and had to fill out some forms at the local school but I don't remember what they did with them. You are supposed to keep track of attendance--got to get those 180 days in, although I don't know of anyone who has been asked to produce any proof.

Did you process them in a hot water bath?

I second Gordon's Food Service. I bought 2# for $5.00 there recently.

I always double the batch, and sometimes triple, and never have any trouble in spite of the experience others have had. I use the lower sugar recipe from SureJell, make sure it comes to a full boil (can't stir down) when you add the sugar/pectin and also again when you add the sugar. If you question whether or not it will set, drop a small amount on to a small plate and pop into the freezer for a few minutes until it is cold. If you can tip the plate and the jam does not move much, it will be fine. I do have a great pot that I use so maybe that is the difference for success when doubling.

I voted "other" because--what the heck would eat a possum? :tongue_smilie:

Hey Baconlover--his truck IS an International! To answer earlier questions: 700 miles one way (if I remember correctly) he is very mature he is able to fix things and has rebuilt most of the truck already

Would you let your newly turned 18 year old: drive from Indiana to Kansas to visit grandparents with his 16 year old brother in a 1970 pickup truck?

Well...my son alone owns 2 tractors, 2 trucks, a gooseneck trailer, a 4 bottom plow, a bush hog, a riding mower, a pushmower, 2 weed whackers, several engines and motors, and tons of tools, and he just turned 18. We have 3 barns full. It would take several semi trucks to move us. Feel better now?

Craigslist usually has vanities or dressing tables listed under antiques or furniture. Or, you can fashion your own out of a couple of matching night stands with a board across for the top, and hang a mirror above at seat height.

Also, a lot of people have excess produce from their garden. You might post a request for free vegetables on Craigslist or Freecycle.

Can your 11 year old pitch in--meaning are there odd jobs in the neighborhood that could be done? Things like dog walking, car washing, yard mowing, weeding, etc might be possible. I ask because my son was working when he was 9 picking tomatoes for $3 per basket.

Mechanics in the house say it could be the air conditioning compressor. The only difference between the air conditioning being on and off is that when the a/c is on,the compressor is running, so if you are only hearing the noise when the a/c is on, it might be the compressor. If you have to replace one, it could run 2-$300, plus another $100 to recharge the unit.

Hey, Razorbackmama, if you want to try The Listening Program, I can send you ours. Let me know. Nevergiveup

We used The Listening Program and I think it was about $400 for the CDs. I did not see any results with my son, but have heard that others had good results. Is this the program that was recommended for you?