If it was understood that the job would be done within a reasonable time frame (not 3 weeks) then no, he failed to render services and so there should be no fee. If anything you should charge an inconvenience fee. If he was giving you a deal because you're friends, etc., and the timeframe was "when convenient for him" then that's different, but in that case I don't think you'd usually charge friends a cancellation fee either. Cancellation fees make sense if you cancel when they are at the premises and you change your mind, they are on their way to you, or they have prepared to come to you (like, within 24 hours of when they are expected to come)*. IMO. *eta after reading your later post: since he led you on multiple times saying "tomorrow", then no, once he failed to meet the stated expectation, he forfeited any high ground or fee-charging grounds.

We've been on both ends: DH's brother cut off contact for about 6 years, we would get generic Christmas cards (no birthday cards). It felt very impersonal and almost like an automated message when we received the brother's annual card. But we took it as a sign that they wanted to leave the door open to possible future communication, so it was kind of like a little ray of hope in the mailbox, lol. Now, DH has cut off contact from the rest of the family, and will send birthday and Christmas cards, but will not respond to texts, phone calls, any type of communication. DH has made the decision for both birthday and Christmas cards because he wants to acknowledge the person and show he cares for them, but he cannot manage any greater contact with them. It is a way of him holding the door open and to show he hasn't forgotten about them, and that he wishes them well. The birthday card in particular is going "above and beyond" the cultural norms so is a more personal show of feeling. For him, it's trying to take their feelings into account and show what care he can in a way he is able, not about his guilt or anything. (For the one person he just cannot imagine ever talking to again, he no longer sends a birthday card, but will do a Christmas card.) eta: I thought of how to phrase it: it's how he shows them they are on his mind for their birthday, and that he thinks of them.

https://www.amazon.com/Americanflat-Mahogany-Artwork-Picture-Shatter-Resistant/dp/B07QMY9GMQ/ref=asc_df_B07QMY9GMQ/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=475794908384&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11855650147359851353&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9030187&hvtargid=pla-1161978500141&th=1 It's an art frame that will hold multiple pieces of paper, so you have one on display and then it serves as storage. As she makes more art you just put the newest one in front, and it will help keep everything safe when not on "display." I guess when it gets full you can transfer to something else. But you can have a living gallery of sorts that changes as much as she wants without having papers having to be put away constantly. eta: we use accordion organizers for 8.5x11 artwork. I've found some nice ones at dollar stores actually, and CVS. I think if you go to Office Depot they have nice-nice ones, like faux leather types.

Also adding that Google has told me that Glossier has two sales a year: one in June and one for Black Friday. So in case that makes a difference to anyone, plus the free shipping strategy mentioned by @MEmama

A bed that at bedtime becomes so irresistably soft and scented of happy smells a child would never get out, and it promptly puts them to sleep through not-dangerous methods. You can set the bed to become irresistible at a certain time, so that way they can't hide in it before teeth are brushed. The deluxe version of the bed will also kick kids out when it's time to get up. The Signature Deluxe Gold Edition bed will track down wayward children if they don't arrive by bedtime and capture them, by force if necessary, so they can be softened and smelled into submission without any work from the parent to deliver to the trap bed.

So the "straight to the point" responses of how you handled it make sense to me and I think are acceptable. But since it seems to be bothering her, I'd answer her actual question in a way that shows it doesn't matter WHAT the answer is, you want to hear why she's asking and it's not an inconvenience. "Have you picked up groceries yet?" "Yes, but I'm thinking of going out again, what do you need?" "Do you have dinner planned?" "Yes, but it isn't set in stone yet, what were you thinking?"

Is any of his outdoor gear getting worn? Does he need new hiking boots or something like that? GPS watch? A solar-powered phone charger backpack thing? Or justa nice new sweater that can work both in and out? You mention coffee, does he have a coffee thing for when he's outdoors -- either a Yeti-like heat mug or a pour over maker for camping? 12yo DD is getting a Kindle this year (we do theme years, so technically each kid is getting a kindle, but she's the one we are really doing this for). I can't think of a book series that would really fit. Horrible Histories, and the math-based series, was a big hit last year with my kids, but it might count as twaddle, lol. eta: does your DH love his car? Not necessarily in the mechanical sense, but in the take care of it and clean it sense? Does he have an "essentials car kit" type of thing for emergencies or breaking the glass and gadgets like that?

Toy hammock for storage on the walls. https://www.amazon.com/Jumbo-Toy-Hammock-childrens-organizing/dp/B00F3JZY1S I prefer bins + lids to cabinet with pull out drawer, since the drawer can get overstuffed and stuck. Cabinet doors can pop open. A bin per kid, but I'm not picky about them cross-contaminating so long as they are okay with it. I don't know what type of toys we're talking about. Big electronic? random pieces of stuff? Legos? My above method is a hammer and most toy situations will look like nails, lol, but maybe there can be more nuance/ actual organization added depending on what you've got.

Seconding Glossier mentioned by @MEmama, I started using it in August and have been pleased with it. The second coat really makes a big difference, and I haven't had the clump issues of my last brand.

*gasp* or put the roll down map in front of the TV, so t's kind of like a manual screen saver/ reflection blocker/ distraction stopper when you're in school mode, then it can just roll back up and out of the way when it's TV mode. You're a genius!

You're a good friend. Seems like they may be on beginner-level Bible study compared to your actual-level Bible living. It's their loss.

Okay, here's a totally different option. This one is taking less of a "school room" concept and more of a "meeting grounds" vibe. Features include: Creative space/desk. A desk for whoever to use for crafts/projects. Maybe your sewing machine lives here. I used a Malm L-shape desk that has an apparently perfect fit with your wall outcrop but you'd want to check that. Meeting area. You can work with kids 1-on-1 at the round table. Table can be pulled away from the wall when you want 4 people at the table. The circle shape keeps it from being too boxy and is a bit more collaborative. Sofa, approx 6 ft away from the TV for better viewing (TV on wall A), and still giving you room for other things/lounging. and floor space. I'd still suggest a few bean bags since the couch only seats so many people. Your desk in the prime spot. You're the main person using this room, yes? So you should get the prime spot: the window! Drink in that view, baby. I put a printer next to you, or you can center your desk and bask in the glow. You also are kind of in an area where people don't have to walk by you for getting to most stuff in the room. All the storage. Wall B and the majority of Wall A are storage, what more can you want?! I suggest wall cabinets above the creative space and at least the floor cabinets labeled 1 & half of 2. TV is centered with window/couch over cabinets 3 &4. I'd rather push it more to the side of 5 but functionally it just doesn't work as well. The Wall A storage I made so you get a counter top thing going along the top of a bunch of Kallax shelves. You could put crafty things on this "counter" close to the creative desk so that things of the same kind are close by. If your sewing machine doesn't live on the desk proper, it can live here. For the sake of ease, I just used matching Hemnes on Wall B, but this is more of a stand in for general storage. Cons: Sorry, I don't know where your map goes. You can get rid of some wall storage on Wall A. No personal desks for kids. They can have their own shelves for storing stuff, and there's enough seats (creative desk + 2 at round) for everyone to do work in the same room, but if they want a permanent spot all their own, this won't work. How bright is the sun from that window, at what time of day? May be harder to work there without some good blinds. A few awkward corners where the different cabinets meet up along the walls. Your daybed has no place here, unless it becomes the sofa in the middle of the room. I've included the 3D look with this room also, but the wall cabinets I'd recommend aren't shown, so please increase the storage in your mind's eye. Overall I think this option is functional and inviting and fits the brief you gave Havonly (if not exactly all your later requirements). There's no real barriers to the eye, and while the couch sections the room it isn't something you have to really walk around or that makes an exclusion in the room. The circle table hopefully shouldn't create a hard barrier at the entrance, either. Your shelves along Wall B will be the main focal point of the room probably, followed by the desk/window, both of which would draw you into the room more (as opposed to the focal point being something closer to the entrance). (eta: I've made a variation of this that includes the daybed. I don't like it quite as much, with the compromises I made to make it work, but I'll make another post with that later tonight, I just can't get the room builder site to load on this computer so will do when I'm at my desktop)

Okay, I'm late to the party and it seems like you've gotten a solution, but just throwing another thing at you. Here's the features: Desks pointing out into the room. I originally had the desks lining Wall A, but since that's been discussed at length I'm only attaching a different option. In this example I used the smaller Alex Ikea desks for the kid desks. The good thing about this one is you can sit next to them on the aisle side and move easily from desk to desk. I put your desk (larger Alex version, idk which size you were thinking) in the back. It also breaks the room from feeling like there's dead space in the middle or that the walls are just plastered with furniture but the middle of the room is empty Wall B I have for bookshelves/storage. You could do either a floor cabinet / wall cabinet combo to achieve a counter-like space (and put your printer, tech stuff on top of the counter) or just do bookshelves. The daybed/bookshelves on the main window. This seems necessary from what I've read in the later posts lol. Large table for group learning, projects, games. Okay, so with the desks poking out this is a tighter fit BUT is still totally doable especially if you put this closer to the entrance rather than in front of the daybed. In this example I used a ~50"x55" square-ish thing; you could get more walk around space by going with a smaller table or smaller desks, or a round table (probably what I'd recommend). You could also push this table to the side under the small window on Wall C when you want more floorspace. Thoughts on wall storage. You have beautiful wall possibilities. I know you want a TV, I think above where I put your desk. (I personally loved the projector idea, but that could be more fiddly for common usage). Don't forget display/maps/project board space if you like to have kids work put out or do timelines, etc. I think so long as either Wall A or B uses the full length for storage, you'd be good. I can see maybe the room feeling a bit lopsided if it's only on Wall B, but if Wall A has something, including TV, especially towards the entrance side, I think it would work really well. Optimally I'd have 1-2 wall cabinets on Wall A, also, but still leave room for your TV and map. Seating. Beanbags can be stored on top/in front of the daybed for more casual seating that isn't in the way of school time. Good for cousins and movies, and reading time. It would add an element of fun to the room that is easy to clean up. I think this accomplishes your main asks to Havenly: Creative space [big table, open floor space] tv and hangout [TV on wall, daybed for "permanent seating", plus beanbags] storage for books/equipment/board games [Wall b] work area for you to sit next to kids [desks pointing out], space to work together [big table] Plus your add on requests of giant printer space and sewing machine storage + other electronics [Wall B if you go with counter-like storage] space for wall map [above a desk maybe] space for the daybed for now Most notably in the Cons list, this does not allow for a new sofa, unless you get rid of the daybed, so your permanent seating is not as much as you were originally imagining or the Havenly person gave you. Another possible Con is that this room does have a "schoolroom vibe" which seems to be something you were trying to not necessarily give. HOWEVER, I think this can be minimized a lot with adding different colors and fun elements like the bean bags, maybe a fun throw rug, decorations, etc. The boxy layout is just a skeleton of furniture, not the entire look of the room. I do have another layout option that incorporates most of the furnitures/notes I have above, just in a different configuration, that allows more storage space and a more open feel, but doesn't have as much visual interest (to me). I didn't put it here so it wouldn't be confusing when I was listing features, but if you like the furniture choices but not where they are, I can show you the other option. eta: also with this much storage, I'd recommend getting doors on as much of the new shelving as you can. It's easier to clean and dust, stuff doesn't fall out as much, stuff is more protected, it will look neater, easier to dust, it can help people from getting distracted, and it's easier to dust. If you don't like the look for full cabinetry and want to see the various colors and shapes of your stuff, you can get glass doors, which will coincidentally make things easier to dust.

if you have dimensions of the long wall and the weird sticky out part thing, I think that would be helpful. I keep drawing but either my desks are for ants or for The Rock and I'm not sure which, lol.

Coming back now that I links. This is the one I have, it's 31.5" deep. They have a 27.5" depth version too. Both depths come in multiple lengths. It looks like they added a corner version, too. If you're meaning a 30" length of desk, like across the wall, then yeah idk if there are any stand up options in that size, at least from Ikea. Re stability: We've had this desk since 2018, it's been through 2 moves, and has moved around multiple rooms. It's still very sturdy and doesn't wobble. If it did, I guess we could just tighten it up. But wobbly has not been our experience. I typically would stand 1-4 hours a day just depending. I try to start off standing in the morning and then when I want to sit, I just sit. But on busy days the desk stays standing so I can come and go quickly. It has made a big difference for my back and posture. And you can still sit, it's the best of both worlds! No drawers is an issue, true. For me, I have drawers to the side; depending on what length of wall you have to put your desk on, you could get a slightly shorter desk and get the drawers to put on the side of it. I'll stop shilling now, lol.

You want a stand up! 😉 Ikea has a stand up desk. It's a fairly big table top (they have 2 sizes I think). You could put drawers underneath the outer overhang, but idk if it would give you enough room for you to have storage underneath the desk and not feel crowded around your legs. I forget if I got the large or small version. My stand up desk is at home and now I work at a regular desk in the office and I miss it, sniff. Especially when you have just a few quick things that need to get done or not a big chunk of time to squeeze something in, the stand up desk makes a big difference in how you feel like you can start working but it's not A Sit Down Commitment. If that makes any sense.

DD12 is starting to get first hints of acne. It's mostly where here glasses touch her cheeks. I want to start her on a skincare routine. Preferably easy, preferably not too expensive, or at least perhaps from a place that will have a Black Friday/holiday sales. What have you found that works?

Two nights ago I woke up suddenly and found myself driving. I have no history of sleepwalking and was panicking how it happened. I had been sleeping with the baby, where was she? If I go to the bathroom at night she follows me, so what if she followed me outside? I was just cresting this one hill towards town where you look down and see all the lights of the town, and I realized my headlights were off. I turned on the headlights and was trying to find a place I could pull over and turn around. All of a sudden, my headlights turned back off. I turned them back on, only for them to go off again after a few seconds. And that's how I realized that this must be a dream, because headlights don't turn off on their own in real life. But the first minute or two of the dream I was completely convinced I was awake and had slept-drove myself 20 miles in the middle of the night. I hate stress dreams.

Thank you everyone for your input. My mom texted, "Let me know your plans for Thanksgiving. We are flexible." I replied , "Let's do FaceTime for Thanksgiving, and a watch party how about? I think the kids would have a lot of fun with that. Where we all watch the same movie together." She hasn't responded, it's been over 24 hours. I'll call her tomorrow and pretend like all is well and we'll see how it goes. For Christmas, DH and I discussed. We will invite them over either the weekend before Christmas or the 23rd (maybe 24th, depending on how they take the Thanksgiving news) and do our own cleaning/air purifiers where we feel comfortable. DH will probably not be in the house at the same time, we'll say he is doing his last minute Christmas shopping. I'll also take the kids up to the city a couple weeks before Christmas and invite them to meet up in a park (about an hour from their house, as my excuse why we can't go to their house) so they can spend time with kids in an outdoor environment and visit as long as they want, but not have any "just come over" pressure, and take some of the traveling obligation off them (45 minutes of driving, a drive they do multiple times a week and can incorporate into their outings, vs 2 hours to nowhere).

For myself, I don't want to go. I am trying to balance that the kids have seen them every Thanksgiving/Christmas before this, including multi-day sleepovers, and have traditions that they enjoy, and the 4yo is the perfect age for it. Even though we'd only do 1-day event, it seems just... it's a big decision. The 4yo asked me this morning when she could go to Nana's house and I think that was the straw that made me post. I need reality checks outside of myself, I want to make sure I'm not convincing myself "I'm right" if I decide no visit, when what I'm actually being is bullheaded.

Jut to inform on the "would they be willing to..." or "could you compromise by..." ideas, which are all great: when I say my parents will not do any mitigation measures, I mean NONE. They will not allow masks in their house (they may not scold the kids since they're following my directions, but they certainly would refuse to talk to me if I was wearing one indoors), they will not open doors for air circulation, and they will not use an air purifier, and they will not visit solely outside. They will not change any of these things to bend the knee to a political hoax, etc. Just to be clear, if we go we cannot expect any mitigations during the visit. I can do vitamin protocols with the kids leading up to the visit, I can have them shower when they're home but I cannot enforce mitigation there. They might be willing to come to our place if it means seeing the kids, where I could have doors open and air purifiers. I don't think they'd go for it but maybe if they're desperate enough. But DH probably wouldn't want them in the house, even with the purifiers. So I'll have to think about this. I am trying to keep in mind they are 77 & 75 and the mental issues that seems indicate in their particular cases. They are both have comorbidities which are not good for Covid, and while I'm not concerned I'm a risk to them considering their daily choices, I am weighing the fact that kids may have limited time with them. On the other hand, I am wary of being bullied into doing something that pts risk on my kids because my parents of sound mind refuse to be adults.

So, as I've shared on the board multiple times, my parents are anti-vax anti-mask pro-hoaxers. We tried a few times to have them see the kids during the summer (when numbers were low), the last one they broke every requirement I set with clear boundaries and so they have not seen the kids again. I said either until they were vaccinated or the kids were, there would be no more visits. My parents have turned this into "you're trying to make us stop going to daily Mass and hold the kids hostage from us" and no matter how many times I've told them Mass isn't the issue, this seems to be the story that they have set on to make me the bad guy. Whatever. We have moved towards having civil, even enjoyable, conversations so long as we ignore the elephant in the room. Now, vaccinations for kids are available (not in my area yet but hopefully by the end of the week). By Christmas, 3/4 of my kids will be vaccinated. The youngest, though, will not be eligible until February. I know that while my parents completely disagree with my decision to vax the kids ("you're dooming them to a life of medical problems and infertility"), they expect this means we are on for Thanksgiving and Christmas. They will be extremely, extremely upset if they don't see the kids during holidays. We did see them last Thanksgiving/Christmas, before there were vaccinations available, but I also did a week quarantine leading up to the holiday and then 2 weeks after: this is not an option this year and frankly even if it was I don't think I'd be willing to give up my life for that long because they won't do basic mitigation measures. They will not mask or stop going out to multiple stores a day leading up to the holidays. If anything, my parents are shopaholics, and despite their complaints about crowding and saying they don't go out to shop because of it, I know they up their shopping a ton. On the other hand: with all but 1 unvaccinated, and with her literally not having left the house for months, I feel like the 4yo's risk budget hasn't been used at all. I know she, out of all the kids, would love to see them for the holidays. The other kids would be vaccinated, and so the chances of Covid catching hold of the entire family, or of an older kid catching it from grandparents and giving it to 4yo, are greatly reduced. So, with 1 not vaccinated, what would you do in this situation? DH is against putting her at risk, but he is a highly anxious individual and is willing to usually trust my judgment on these things since he knows he tends to overreact about protecting kids and health issues in general. I lean towards letting holidays happen (not overnight trips like my parents want, but one-day events), but Idk if this is just fatigue on my end and if I am misjudging the risk scenario. I go to work every day (all vaccinated here, I wear a mask) but I also only go to the grocery store otherwise, so I feel like I'm being hypocritical for doing all this and then saying my parents are too risky. But OTOH, my parents go to multiple stores a day, often indoor restaurants, they refuse to take any mitigation measures, and so I feel are more risky than what I'm currently subjecting the family to.

Flat out bribery, lol. DD4 wasn't trained until right before her 4th birthday. She was just different and stubborn and had NO interest at all. We tried multiple times starting at 2.5: she would go a few times, then say no, and stop. She didn't care if she was wet, she didn't care if it meant we had to turn off a movie to change her, or other natural consequences. She didn't care about imposed consequences (no screens, no dessert, etc, and there wasn't much we could take away from her). She simply decided that using the potty was not what she wanted to do. She loved watching Elmo's Potty, had no fear of the bathroom, liked her new underwear, she just didn't care to use the potty more than a couple days in a row. Finally we resorted to bribery. After each time she used the potty = a treat (applesauce, dried strawberries, I tried to keep it healthy but I would have given chocolate if that's what she insisted on). A day of no accidents = treat at end of day. And she got to choose what it was. She's now 4.5, and we still do the daily treat if no accidents. You've gotten a lot of better advice, but if it's just not coming together, there's always this.

Thomas Aquinas College is a great books college similar to St. John's. They have a campus in California and a new campus in New England. So, not closer to Texas, but the campi are beautiful. It is Catholic, I can't speak for "Catholic colleges", but can share my perspective of that particular college at that particular time I was there: a few students really wanted to convert their friends (especially when they were dating) but it wasn't a goal of the college nor the professors, and Catholic students who were rude about their approach on this were shut down by other Catholics. I'd say ~7/11 of the non-Catholic students in my class converted by senior year (one became a priest). The year above me around 3/10 converted. It didn't affect popularity or anything like that.

How awesome, congrats!! And Neopets 😍 I loved my neopets, I must have been into it...idk, were they around in 1999? I started right before high school and distinctly remember having to get parent permission for my account. I remember when you could have them be light or dark aligned, etc. I had an Aisha and I ran a guild and everything. I got locked out of my account when my parents got a new computer and I cried for weeks. Good memories, lol. So happy to hear it's still going on.