Get whistles and other annoying noisemakers for all the other children. Hand them out right before you go on a long weekend excursion with friends.

Harness training can be done - there used to be some dude who caught the same boat as me in the evenings who wore his cat on his shoulders during his commute, and that cat wore a harness - but I'm given to understand that some cats take to it more easily than others.

I've always heard that if you have two Jews, you have three opinions, and I see no reason that has to scale in any sort of rational manner. So ~15 million Jews = 2.7 trillion opinions?

If all your children seem reasonably happy with how they've individually been raised, then you're probably in the clear. Maybe you "did too much" with the oldest, or "didn't do enough" with the youngest, but I highly doubt you were abusive or neglectful to either of them. I'm sure they'll all turn out just fine.

You're right, Gardenmom. I did miss that part. Doesn't really matter. Unless this person specifically has told Indigo Blue - or somebody reliable who can be trusted to honestly report this sort of thing - what their reason is, she doesn't know that person's reasons any more than you or I do. It's just guesswork. The problem isn't this person's motivations anyway. It is, or is not, their actions. And again, I will stand by this - if this is the only thing that's annoying, it's not worth getting annoyed by. If, however, it's part of an entire pattern of behavior where they go out of their way to antagonize this child's parents or undermine them then all that behavior is a problem, no matter what that person's motivations are or what they believe their motivations to be. Trying to understand other people's motivations is pointless. Your idea of what motivates them is more likely to be formed by your feelings about them than anything else, and honestly, people are often unclear on even their *own* motivations.

Well, it's only a few days a month. With proper precautions, the werewolf can avoid eating anything, and of course, most religions do not hold dietary restrictions as more important than preserving ones own life.

You don't know this person or their motivation, and trying to figure out other people's motivations is a fool's errand. But even if the motivation really is as you state - so what? Seriously, the toddler is a toddler, and if at some point they care they can speak up for themself, or enlist help in doing so. Unless this is part of a whole pattern of behavior, honestly, so what?

I've never understood why some people are so... invested in what other people call their kid. Obviously if the kid doesn't like it, you stop it - but if they don't mind, it's their name and their relationship. If you really hate a particularly common nickname, don't give your kid a name that obviously nicknames onto that. Otherwise, isn't it common for people to use different names for different social situations? Like, being Childhood Nickname for family, Normal Nickname for people who know you from high school and college, Full First Name for work friends? I just do not understand getting worked up over this unless it's one of a million things that person does, in which case it's the whole picture, not just the one thing.

That is a lot of stuff on your list! Like, it's a lot! I know you don't have any siblings, but do you have any friends? Can some of your friends take some of this stuff off your plate? Like, your kid needs a new therapist - but honestly, if you and your husband just can't manage that task, I'd think that literally anybody who knows generally where you live and what insurance you have can just call people and book a slot. Heck, *I* would do it, and I have a list as long as my arm of phone calls *I* ought to make but have been dodging. As for feeling guilty - honestly, you have nothing to feel guilty about. If people know what you're going through, they understand. And if they don't - well, maybe some of those people should. The scoutmaster is not blaming you and cursing your name because you can't help her right now while your mom is sick. Your job - okay, that client might not need to know the situation, but if they did, no reasonable person would blame you for this. Your employer, if they follow the law and/or are anything like a decent person will certainly understand if you need to reduce your workload for a time. The tree? Speaking from deeply personal experience, your kids are not going to say later "Wow, that one Christmas Mom made us decorate the tree ourselves, she was such a terrible mother and that's why we hate her".

It sucks so much. And it's not going to get any easier on its own. If you're not speaking to a therapist, you need to be. And listen - I know it's hard, but you have got to carve out time for yourself. If that means less time for Mom or party planning, well, that sucks but that's the way it is. You can't make her happy anyway, no matter how hard you try, because she's really sick (maybe dying) and it's awful and nothing can fix that and she knows it. And it's not like you know that she'll pass in the next six weeks, so you just have to grin and bear it until then. Acting like she's on her deathbed right now is not beneficial for her, or you, or anybody else in the family. You will burn out, and then it'll just be worse - more irritability, less ability to get things done, more guilt for all of that. Taking care of yourself is a gift you are giving to her. Dropping commitments that you actually are not able to handle, until you only have the ones that *need* to be done and that you *can* handle, is kinder than struggling and ending up dropping them all. And I know that me telling you this isn't going to make it easier to do it, but - please, for your own sake, try to try.

Oh, what an amazing sweetheart!

Santa Buddy is Michael Buble's excessively - and, I will say, offensively - "no homo" version of Santa Baby.

I don't mind Santa Baby when sung by Eartha Kitt, but so many singers have just no idea what the heck they're doing with that song, and they turn what's actually moderately listenable to something both obnoxious and gross. And don't get me started on Santa *Buddy*. Just - no. No, no, absolutely no.

Well, I suggested post-viral because it was the thing I thought of that nobody else had suggested yet. If the tiredness definitely predates the illness, that doesn't necessarily rule out a post-viral condition - he could've been sick sooner than you realized, with tiredness the early symptom - but I think the most likely answer is puberty / growth spurt. Or it could be a combination of factors, of course.

Have you considered that he may be suffering post-viral aftereffects?

As always, I'd include a book. Perhaps several books. But I'd also give his sister books too, so that won't really help. How about a winter hat and gloves? It doesn't have to be silly or meaningful, it just has to be warm.

It can be quite spicy! Think "similar to Indian food, but less dairy, more fish" - and, yes, coconut. I'd rec the eggplant that every restaurant seems to serve, but I'm pretty sure that coconut milk is a part of that recipe. If you're worried about that, you should definitely call ahead and ask what foods would be safe, but, alas, you might be better off skipping it.

Also, we have the largest Sri Lankan community outside of Sri Lanka, so you can get something you can't get anywhere else - Sri Lankan food! (Well, unless you go to Sri Lanka, I guess.) Come on a weekend, take the train two stops down to Stapleton, get off, and Lakruwana is just about right there for the buffet, and they also run a small museum.

Well, that was a happy attack on straw, SKL. I don't think anybody here has said that bedsharing is universally better, just that it's the norm in many societies and that it's better if everybody involved thinks it's better (but not if they don't).

Farrar, "sleep hygiene" is a general phrase used to mean "good sleep habits" - like not watching TV in bed, or not taking long naps in the middle of the day if you have trouble with being wakeful at night. https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/sleep_hygiene.html https://www.healthline.com/health/sleep-hygiene I haven't read those links, I'm simply linking to them to show that the term is in widespread use.

I see. That sorta is how I read it, so thanks for clarifying, and I apologize for misunderstanding you.

Your parents meant well, but they were mistaken. There is nothing weird or bad about children sharing a bed, and if you aren't seeing that they're actually staying awake giggling there's no negative effect on their sleep.

Sorry, Clarita, has it never not been "a thing"?

As always, I would include at least one book. And if you're already getting her clothes, a hat and a pair of mittens with clips. As for dolls, anything soft and cuddly with a few changes of clothes should be fine. I doubt she has a brand preference.

It's always like this, isn't it. *hugs* Here's hoping you can get through the big day without too much sarcasm regarding "I am THANKFUL that I have HANDS so I could wash the DISHES". I don't know if I could refrain!