I agree with tomato staking. Or at least my idea of it which was the child never left arm's reach and basically did everything you did. I didn't know until recent threads that method involved whackiness. I folded clothes, he folded. I baked, he baked. And yea it was difficult and long and made every task way more complicated. But he stopped being destructive. We also gave him lots of things to tear apart. We quickly advanced to where he could stand at the table (the child never sat) and take stuff apart while I cooked. I kept him busy. Multiplication was learned by throwing numbers on the floor and jumping to the answer. No written work. Everything was oral well into 3rd grade. He read upside down hanging off the couch. He was never out of sight so at any moment I could stop him before he started. I could tell by his face when he was going to start trouble. I had him dig holes in the yard. He dug one hole deep enough he had to create steps to get out of it and then that created the need for a rope which created a need for a way to hang said rope which spun off in how to dig holes and check for oxygen and then he tunneled around the yard. Which then caused Dad to build with him a contraption to pull buckets up out of the hole and move them around to the next hole. I remember entire days spent to drawing designs so Dad could see what he wanted. It was funny to me because Dad was just as exhausted and was like whatever will give me one moment of peace, I'll do. I also snuck out at night and buried all sorts of wacky crap for him to find. Chicken bones, little bottles, wood chests, fake coins, anything that kept him digging!!!! A large part of the backyard was dedicated to this for nearly 2 years!!!! I bought hotwheel cars by the hundreds (seriously we had over 300) and he buried them, dug them up, painted them, tore apart, rebuilt them, flooded them. He made massive sand buildings and then destroyed them in all sorts of ways. That hole in the yard saved my sanity more times than i can count. When he was ready to tackle something else, he tore everything down, filled in the holes and helped plant grass. That was another summer of work. I also dropped a lot of expectations that he would sit and be quiet and such. When we needed to go out in public and appear sane to the world, I made him do laps around the house,race his bike down the road and back, jumping jacks, push ups, you name it until he was visibly tired. Then we got in the car with a snack and went about our stuff. When his energy started to kick back up, I booked it home. Now no body would ever think ever that he had ever been so active! He still tears apart anything he can get his hands on but he also creates out of that and is studying to be an electrical engineer. The number one reason we homeschool is because I had to make learning fit him because making him fit learning would have been a disaster. I just had to adjust our life to set him up for success and not failure. And that meant doing things like no other. Other little kids sat a desk and colored neatly. Mine stood up and tore the paper into bits and then glued it down with happy pounds. Who needs colored pictures of bunnies? I had one of kind paper art! I taped tons of paper to the underside of the table and he would get under there and color. Anything not normal sparked his little mind. We made the agreement he could only color on the walls in designated places. I hung dry erase and chalkboard in those spots and praised him like crazy for his work. Off of that and he had the most unpleasant task of scrubbing it off the walls and then helping me paint it. We did lots of outdoor stuff like zoo, parks, and places where his behavior would be a success. Anytime he did stuff that required repair, he had to help and he got to listen to my babble on about how I couldn't do x,y,z because I only had so much time! Eventually, it sunk in that damaging things meant fixing things which meant less time to do fun things. It's hard. But it does end. One day you will be able to take your eyes off him. That moment is just not now. He has the best memories though and thinks his childhood was a blast! :laugh: :svengo:

I would just upset the apple cart. Send her back a response explaining that if the rotation of MIL to her house has proven to be more than she can handle, then the plan needs to be revisited because weekly outings in addition to 3 months of care has gotten out of hand. I would perhaps word it along the lines of I know you are providing such great care and how hard it is to rearrange your daily life and schedules to accommodate MIL 24/7 and you are doing a great job but......And then restate your idea. But I'm like that..... It sounds like caring for MIL sounded good on paper. And now it is not so much. I'm also one to say if she responds again to just ask point blank So the deal to have MIL at your house 3 months so the rest of us can prepare for our turn is not working for you and you want us to help you during your turn and then do our turn? Maybe MIL wouldn't be such a handful for you if she was a place that held memories for her. But again, I'm a pill too! My siblings have already put a plan in place to rotate my mother 3 months so we each can care for her. I said no. They said tough. That's the plan. ...... It is going to be interesting if they start rotations because I will not. This stuff is never easy. Why does the out of town person have medical POA instead of someone local to the hospital?

I have thrown moving into your first apartment parties. THey are fun! I do invitations with mops/buckets and soap bubbles on the front and cute inside along the lines of "He's adulting! Let's help him do it right! or something along those lines depending on the kid. We do registries at a couple of places and have on it things like mops/buckets,brooms, all sorts of household crap that you have to have to run a house but never think about until you need it. (remember the first time you needed Windex and realized you had to buy it because there was no parent who kept it stocked? Or bleach Dear God when you need bleach..... ) And then everybody runs to Walmart LOL! There is always somebody who brings a detailed grocery list made up with multiple copies, a recipe basics of how not to starve and eat something that didn't come out of box, how to clean and when! Maybe my group of peeps are just weird but it always comes out funny and done in a way that keeps everyone howling. The parents and close friends usually provide better gifts like the Kitchen aid mixers or really nice kitchen stuff (just because it is the first place doesn't mean they have to start off with crap. Good tools make the job so much easier.) I love to throw moving out of mom and dad's house parties!

My area is still wide open for ADN nurses. However, the push is strong for BSN. And any position above floor nurse requires it. Most go the ADN at community college and then complete their BSN on the job. every employer around here has very generous tuition reimbursement rates.

I would think most likely that a team from Disney has already gathered to discuss the amount and when to present a figure. I would imagine this is going to be settled before the parents even think about suing. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that an undisclosed settlement had been reached between the park and the parents.

I haven't read this thread but this article popped up in my feed today. I thought it might be interesting to some. Porn Website’s ‘Brock Turner Rule’ Bans Non-Consensual Sex Videos

While it can certainly be argued that the dad was probably meaning 20 minutes of time in that sense, the fact that a man defending a brutal act of violence so coldly in a time frame is disgusting and says something to his character . 20 mins of action is an odd phrase to use when defending your child's attack of another human. Would 30 minutes have been acceptable? An hour? How long of a time period of action does a human have to achieve to become unacceptable? Action is commonly referred to by guys when discussing sex. "I got some action last night" is usually interrupted to mean I had sex. I read his letter and thanks to you read it again and it still comes off as a demeaning way to express his son was having sex. I don't think the Dad has been misrepresented at all. As a man, he most likely would have known that phrase would be construed as 20 minutes of sex and he included it anyway most likely with attorney's approval. It was meant to be degrading and lesson his son's violent attack to a night of getting some. it was designed to appeal to the judge that his son was having sex in his eyes, the girl was being raped in her eyes. Play on words to elicit a certain emotional response. Which worked. And I'll leave it at that......

Oh, I would be seeing my favorite Lowes delivery guy again as he dropped off new toilets in each bathroom. That guy is great! I defer to hubby a lot but things that affect me daily and require extra work on my part due to something that doesn't work right, nope. It gets fixed. Overflowing toilets are nasty and there is not enough bleach in the world.

You are welcome Seasider. I have found in large families, there are two or three people who are "the boss" and the rest are minions who do as they are told. I haven't seen some of mine in years. One phone call and a plan of action would be in place today with regular updates with most likely a sigh of "I am so glad someone decided to do something. We didn't know what would be acceptable or wanted. " The ones I would call are the ones who everyone would obey. Consider it like mobilizing the troops. :lol: Large families aren't bad. Just frustrating sometimes, especially if you aren't aware of just how much family there is. (my hubby is always shocked that most of my FB friends are related LOL!) Such decisions would usually involve a big ole meeting, clear line of who the buck stops with, and what is needed. That family member that spread the news to stop you moving him could also be the very one to make sure the locals are doing exactly what you need and mobilize all the countless friends, cousins, relatives into one big ole eldercare machine. My great grandmother had somebody from children to great-great grandchildren on a regular visiting cycle arranged around meals, medicine times, and times they knew she would try to do something she was no longer able to do.... And that was just when she wasn't safe to stay alone but wanted to stay home. When she was on hospice, Oh boy.... it was amazing... We were long distance but our visits were planned and we were put right into rotation.

I always think Celiac or Cushing's when I hear skinny arms/legs and big belly. I'd get a through physical and hormone workup to rule these out just in case.

I'm pretty sure you can especially if the MD agrees that the news would be a negative to his health. As a nurse, we keep all sorts of info from the patient in such situations when the md and POA and hospice agree. Regarding the family. I'm from a large large family... Here's how I would handle it based on how I saw things done with both of my grandparents. Someone has to be in charge. Take the role. Call another meeting. Tell them anyone who wants a say on his staying had better show. Otherwise, he's moving with us. Tell them when they get there. You can't stay. So in order for him to stay you have put the info in an earlier post in place. But in order to make sure it happens, here is what you need. Have a clipboard with the sign up list and pass it around. 1) One mass cleaning crew before you go. 2) someone to bring him his favorite meals - doesn't have to be the same person but someone in charge to make sure it happens 3)Someone to make sure he takes his daily meds. The nurse can make a schedule and fill the pill box when she visits. The family just makes sure it is being done. 4)someone to oversee the dog/trash/mail schedule is being done. 5)check on the cleaning and making sure the staff is doing it 6)someone to be there when the nurse visits to get the low down in person as to what needs to be done 7) what else you need done to ensure he is taken care of. 8) person to contact in the middle of the night Tell them to blame you for everything if FIL balks. AimeeM said we must or she is going to take you to her house. I saw this in action and it seems that family was just waiting on finding out what they needed to do. Otherwise, not knowing, nothing was being done. I think you would find ample people to help. Plus, FIL is only going to get weaker and be in less position to protest. He may enjoy the company. Get everyone's phone number so you can call and check it was done. At least that would give you some peace of mind and eyes to help you.

said very gently with hugs If he is already thought to have prostate cancer in his bones, it may have already spread to his brain and his time is not long. Get everyone's numbers including family and put a plan in place to check in with everyone everyday. including those relatives that came out of the woodwork. Calling them in the middle of the night to check on him is entirely appropriate. Now that the agency has a face with the number and understanding that you are in charge, they will contact you about everything . He won't be able to refuse care and fire people because he wants to. You have basically stripped him of being in charge which is what was needed. The above suggestions are great. You can also put in a video camera to monitor him as well. Those are't very expensive or hard to put in.My Fil had something similar and when it hit his bones, he was gone within 2 months. I'm afraid your time with him is not long and moving him will only accelerate that time frame. While he is in the hospital, can you get the scans done to see the progression of the cancer?? This is a really hard time and no matter which way you go, it will always feel wrong. You can only do the what feels less wrong. There is never a right it seems in these cases.

I would recommend a glucose meter and start recording her blood sugar levels. Especially the morning level. Insulin resistance can start at any age especially if the child has had the typical American diet her whole life. If you get the chance, read this book, The Obesity Code . He does a great job explaining insulin resistance and how to fix it. Intermittent fasting, basically not eating from dinner until lunch the next day (16 hours) and then eating a LCHF diet heavy on veggies and low on fruit those other hours will break the insulin pattern as well as control hunger pains. But i would start checking sugar levels to at least have a record of that for the specialist. Especially a morning level which should be 8-12 hours after her last food intake. High levels every morning is indicates a hormonal issue. I realized after reading it that myself and my four kids eat this way naturally if we just listen to our stomachs. No one around eats breakfast ever unless I make them or there is a growth spurt happening. Now I don't bother as they start eating around lunch and eat until dinner/bedtime. Apparently a healthy way of eating according to the Obesity Code. Ps..... Diet soda is the worst for some people. It spikes my blood sugars nearly 40 points every time I drink one contributing to my insulin resistance. I have simply had to swear off of sodas. Which sucks as I have a really bad soda habit. I would have never known had I not been checking sugar levels. My morning levels have dropped nearly 30 points in a week of following the LCHF and intermittent fasting plan. So I am encouraged that I am on the right path finally. I had a 60 pound weight gain one year and have never been able to drop those pounds. I am hoping this method will pay off. PSS... Two of my kids are Celiac. That diet for us tends to be low carb and high fat. One has been eating like this since about 18 months of age. Limited grains (pizza and hamburger buns and occasional sandwich),little processed food beyond those items and candy, and lots of veggies and protein. Her development and growth has been great. I wish I had known to be on that diet years ago.

Sure, the kid did something he wasn't supposed to. But dying at the age of 4 as the natural consequence is pretty damn hardcore. Fall into the gorilla exhibit and you will die. Because we adults are going to let the gorilla do his thing. Dang, even baby gorillas have moms who fight of silverbacks for them even when their baby antagonizes the beast. No other option involved saving the child as quickly as needed. Every second he was withing reach of that gorilla was another second of a miracle he was still alive. One more jerk, one more pull and that kid could have been dead. and obviously the zookeepers knew the gorilla well enough to know attempting a rescue was not going to work. Otherwise, they would have tried it first.

Scam..... We sold a truck and had the guy do the same thing. Except we know he drove it at full speed to see what it could do on the interstate and screwed it up. Unless the laws in your area make you do something, i say tuff luck. He may have driven it poorly and killed it. my bil wrecked a car's engine by going too fast and my brother destroyed a transmission as well. i would feel bad but if the car was working fine for you and you sold it in good faith that it would work well for him, then tell the guy sorry. most likely the kid drove it at full speed to show off and messed it up.. just cause the odometer goes to 120 or so doesn't mean it really can. or they tried to tow something the car couldn't handle. I also think a transmission problem would pop up in a test drive.

I picked one who had massage therapy and PT and had kid patients. We use a chiro at Healthsource. I don't know if that is a national chain or what but they have several offices here. They had information sessions so we were able to get a feel for the place. Plus, he was open and upfront that he couldn't cure scoliosis but could manage the uneven legs/hips and headaches. He was ten when we started.

I would prepare her for the possibly of sex. Including the infamous STD pictures of what things look like when it goes wrong, the resources available to pregnant single moms, etc . Do some volunteer work at a crisis center. When the person in question is generally a good person who has that one quality that someone feels they can change, I supply the facts and the reality of what if it doesn't change. And then do my best to be supportive and helpful as needed. Maybe he's a great person who hasn't found the right person and she's the right person and he leaves his bad habits behind. :hurray: Maybe he's a douche bag who will break her heart. :cursing: the one I thought would be an awesome person turned out to be so very wrong and the one I am most concerned about for my kid has turned out to be a good thing. So, predicting is rather hard to do. At her age, I consider my role to mitigate the fallout. So I would make sure her sex ed is up to date and include him in as much family life as I could. The douche bag will show up quickly in most cases. But forbidding it......... will make things so much worse in my experience.

We had a similar situation and went to a chiro. Our son had gone from no curve to a curve of 17 or so degrees and the idea from the MD was brace at night and when the curve gets worse do surgery. Our chiro who said he couldn't cure scoliosis but did an aggressive treatment program of 3 times a week for several months with gradual backdown to once a month and now to growth spurts and the occasional when he feels crooked or has a headache. He fixed the uneven leg length, the uneven hips, the migraines, and the curve is practically gone ( s curve). He gave him exercises to better develop the weaker side, some basic PT, Whenever we have a growth spurt, we step up visits to once a week at least to keep the spine aligned. his was due to rapid growth and uneven muscle development. Best money I ever spent and much better treatment plan than the MD.

I don't know how it will work for math but it looks like he only has Alg 2 left to complete? Maybe schedule it first??? Around here the schools do block scheduling and many students take math one semester and then no more till the next school year. They seem to be doing fine with it.

Perhaps he would do all the work for a class at once? Maybe make English a 9 week class.... The only class. Here's all the assignments, do it all as quickly as possible and no more of that. And then take a week off and then start the next class. I did really well in school due to fear of my mother. But I hated school. HATED IT. Everyone thought I was great at it but i did well because i was too scared not to do well. I went to college and liked it but it was still a drawn out OMG when the hell will it ever be over..... When I took a ADN to BSN program, the classes were 8 weeks long. PERFECT! About the time, I got the feeling of it's too long, when will it be over, when can I quit..... class over! Love love love 8 week classes. Devout myself to one class, do everything and it is OVER! Maybe he would like that idea?

I'm 45 and I am thinking that perhaps my next formal dress up will involve a water fight. I wish I had been able to let loose and have fun like that in my teen years. Next formal is going to be whole lot more fun! And that dress is pretty!

He's looking into joining the Explorers here locally.. One of the perks is a job offer possibility when reaching the right age..... Well it gives him something to work toward..

Hmm.. I'm reading up on it and it seems the diploma thing is a iffy depending on where you are hired. Some have requirements as diploma, GED or college degree. The age is 21 so he is looking at criminal justice degree. What can you do with a criminal justice degree if you fail police academy??

Anyone send their child to a Police Academy with a "mommy diploma"? I have one who decided he would like to be a detective and is currently researching the way. He's going to job shadow with the police department as soon as we can get it set up. Wondering what would be the best way, cheapest way, BTDT advice??? Anybody set one on this path? He's 9th so plenty of time to get organized. (He's even decided he needs to go the gym and get strong! He currently pulls a muscle crossing his legs as they say .......Up to this point, he has been the aimless clueless drifter who randomly does schoolwork and spends way too much time on video games. Now he's going to the gym to prepare for a future career :svengo: Maybe aliens abducted him :smilielol5: ) TIA!

I'm sorry your dad was so sick. As a med surg nurse, fluid overload can be tricky. One shift they are fine, the next they are definitely not. having pneumonia complicated it. Pneumonia and fluid overload beginning signs are very similar. Fast pulse,rapid breathing, bad lung sounds, messy labs....one would have to be very aware of minute changes in vitals and the patient in the first stages. Sounds like your dad was on the floor 24-48 hours?? He could have had 4-5 different nurses in that time frame. I'm not trying to excuse it but if he had different nurses from admission and on each new shift, then they may have all felt his lungs sounds were related to the pneumonia. Doesn't mean they were bad or neglectful. Honestly at his age, he probably had some heart condition that was unnoticed because it had crept up gradually on him and that compounded the fluid issue. I don't know how many patients come to the hospital "other wise healthy" and leave it with heart issues. One tends not to know your heart function is not great until your body is sick and can't be sick and cover up poor heart issues. Really, other wise healthy just means the person has not found an issue that bothers them enough to get it checked out and they still go about their business despite it. Especially the elderly, they tend to pass everything off as getting older. Without having been there, I suspect he was moved to ICU as a professional courtesy to another doctor. Fluid overload is easily treated on the floor everyday. Monitoring it doesn't require ICU level monitoring. So either he had a lot more going on that was way more worrisome than pneumonia and fluid overload such as worsening sepsis or a heart issue or kidney failure that needed ICU interventions. Typically, we would have given him a ton of iV Lasix and monitored his urine and lung sounds and labs. I would call the nurse manager of the floor. I would tell her your concerns and just let her know that you feel they missed some very important signs of fluid overload and that it worsened your father's condition and forced an ICU visit. In my experience with both good and bad hospitals, the nurse manager will pull the chart and review everything. They will talk with the nurses and find out what happened. They may not tell you all the details or say they were at fault, but they will figure out what happened and reeducate where necessary or make changes where needed. Nurse managers will also move it up the chain as well. I would start there and express your concerns with the manager. But do know that neglect is based on what would a prudent nurse do? In other words, if you gave the case to 50 nurses and they all say they would have done x, y, and z, then the action taken will have been found to be prudent. It may have still been wrong in which case massive reeducation would be undertaken so the next time the 50 nurses would say I would have done a in addition to x,y ,z