If you’re saying you have nine years of relevant experience, I’d definitely put the focus on those nine years. If you want to include the earlier, not-so-relevant experience, you can add one line at the end of the employment section that says “Earlier career included roles in feline companionship and book reading.” The “explain any gaps” line is usually on an application (though many companies are doing away with it because they recognize that humanity often has demands and stressors and obligations beyond work), so you don’t have to mention anything about earlier jobs on your resume.

I’ve worked in HR and have written resumes professionally for 15+ years. Nearly all of the resumes I write for mid- to late-career professionals come in at two pages. Generally speaking, a resume should be as long as it needs to be to convey the candidate‘s value. The trick is to convey that value clearly, concisely, and in a way that makes the hiring manager say, “I like what I’m reading here and I want to hear more.” When people with a lot of experience try to smoosh everything on to one page, they risk using a too-small font or minimizing all-important white space or cutting valuable information. As someone above pointed out, most resumes are viewed on screens, at least at first, so two pages isn’t the Big Bad No-No it used to be. Objective statements (“Seeking a progressive company in which I can utilize my management skills to further organizational success”) are a waste of space. As Bootsie mentioned, that kind of objective is obvious. Instead, use a short summary statement. Here’s the formula I start with: What do I do? For whom do I do it? What are the results? That leads to this kind of summary statement: Sales manager with 10 years of experience in the pharmaceutical industry. Consistent history of leading sales teams to deliver year-over-year revenue increases of 6% in a territory valued at $5M. Expert trainer and presenter. Think of this opening as the only thing the reader might see and make it say what’s most important. I hope this is helpful!

I agree that the women should have had the same workout facilities, meals, etc. But a spectator in the stands not enjoying a women’s basketball game as much as men’s basketball game is an ingrained prejudice? It can’t just be a preference for, say, a faster style of play? It HAS to be a form of misogyny?

Is saying “I’d rather watch men’s basketball than women’s basketball” a form of misogyny?

That is a HUGE relief! Insurance tied to employment was among the biggest stressors for us when dh was laid off a few years ago. I posted here asking if we reeeeeaaaaalllly needed COBRA since it was so expensive. (I think everyone said yes.) I'm sorry you're going through this. It can be a frightening and frustrating and just plain sad time. Trying to be helpful, people said things to me like, "Something better is right around the corner!" I hated that. I wanted people to just let me be sad for a little bit. I'm a big proponent of weeping with those who weep. So, if possible, surround yourself with people who will support you in the ways you need--emotionally, practically, financially, etc. You've got a solid crew here who will listen.

Remind yourself of this as often as you need to. I don't know the right way to address your situation, but I empathize. We went through something similar with my FIL. MIL was so distraught once at the thought of him driving that she called my husband asking him to DO SOMETHING. As a temporary fix to buy some time at least for that day, DH removed a spark plug (I think) from the car. FIL called AAA who fixed the car and FIL took a drive. He was found many hours and hundreds of miles later, wandering the side of a highway, confused, soiled, and angry. That was the final straw for the family. They took his car keys and suffered with the anger. Terrible time for everyone.

I want three options for everything. That's it. Just three. Show me three paint colors, three countertops, three faucets, three backsplashes . . . and ideally show them to me in photos so I know what they'll look like in my space. Tile stores? Flooring showrooms? The wall of those little paint card samples? Forget it. Analysis paralysis sets in and I'm completely overwhelmed.

We've spoken briefly with two custom builders and they both offered a ballpark figure per square foot, which helps in the very early stages of planning. (And in our case, by "helps" I mean pours a huge bucket of ice-cold water on our dreamy dreams, lol.) Maybe if you call a few builders local to you they can give you a general price per square foot for your area? The more reasonably priced community builders here have terrible reputations for quality and follow-through (Ryan, in particular). Do check reviews and talk to people who have recently used whatever builder you're considering.

I had two detached retinas (one in each eye) over the past several years. One was an emergency situation like you're describing. It was scary but worked out very well! The face-down thing was hard but, if I recall correctly, it didn't last two weeks. At follow-up, the surgeon loosened those restrictions to lying face down (or on my side) at night but told me I could walk around and whatnot during the day. No lifting, no air travel, no running . . . those kinds of restrictions stayed in place for two weeks. Agreeing with Bootsie on the eye drop maintenance. Write a schedule or use an app--just keep track somehow. I remember being surprised at how long it took for my vision came back. I just had a routine eye appt this morning and the doctor mentioned that cataracts are more likely in people with buckles, so there's something to look forward to (😒 no pun intended). Then again, he also said that cataracts are in most people's future if they live long enough.

Awesome update! 😀

Ideally, she should send an individual message to each person who took time to meet with her. But with the leaving early and popping in and out, I don't know . . . (and, by the way, how rude). Was there a primary person who did most of the interacting? If so, I'd recommend a more detailed message to that person and mention the others. "I appreciated the opportunity to meet with you as well as Mr. X, Mr. Y, and Ms. A."

Ha! “Scammy” concerns are exactly why I asked. I know several reputable financial experts who advise buying LTC. But the two licensed agents we talked to both had Herb Tarlek-like vibes. (Anyone too young to get that reference probably doesn’t need LTC coverage yet 😉.) The one we’re making the application with sent a direct mailer (generally known as junk mail), and we followed up for more information because it was on our radar anyway. He represents many companies, including Mutual of Omaha, which is the one we’re pursuing.

I just read an article that said it makes sense for those with retirement savings between $200K and $1M.

Have you looked into it for yourself or your spouse? If so, did you decide to purchase it?

Yep. Seems many people have lost the ability to read beyond a headline, let alone discern that said headline was crafted specifically to evoke outrage.

Thanks, everyone. I envy those of you who talk undertones and shades and lighting so effortlessly. I picked up a few of those paint sample brochures from Sherwin Williams and Behr over the weekend and the options are overwhelming. I need someone to narrow it down and say “These three are all excellent options.” Then I can paint those samples on the poster board and move them around and hopefully make a decision. Thankfully, I have a neighbor who will probably do this for free. She has a design background and she loves giving her opinions. While that’s not the easiest personality to be around, her decorating instincts are spot on.

Thanks! Cutting out the fibers is a GREAT idea. I tried doing the take-a-picture thing for one of the paint manufacturer’s apps, but the color on my screen looks brown while the color on my floor looks grey. I think I would prefer to emphasize the grey as I tend toward cooler colors. I may need to pull in a professional...

We recently got new carpet throughout our upstairs: Wembley from Home Depot. It’s pretty and I’m thrilled we finally got this done. (It’s been “on the list” for YEARS!) The sample looked like it had flecks of brown, but on the floor it looks like a big mass of solid grey. Someone with a decorating eye probably would’ve known this, but that’s not me. As is the course of things, new carpet highlights the need for new paint. Is there a website or a color expert here who can tell me what color to paint the walls for a coordinated look?

I don’t like these games. (Yes, I’m a curmudgeon.) I get that they’re meant to be fun and lighthearted, but since all advice is autobiographical, it’s largely unhelpful as advice unless the bride-to-be and her husband are exactly like the advice giver and her husband. Study your own husband and go from there 🙂.

Maybe people have blocked him?

Yes! I recently read a book about listening* and I’ve been trying to be more intentional about it in my everyday interactions. I don’t think I’m changing lives or anything, but I’ve no doubt that at least a few people have appreciated the time and focused attention. I think you’re right, Quill, that people are starved for genuine conversation—to hear and be heard. * You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy

I have a friend who lives in a neighborhood with 300+ houses. Her grandmother wanted to move into the same neighborhood. So my friend wrote a letter, printed several copies, and the two of them drove around the neighborhood and dropped off a letter at homes in the neighborhood that met grandma’s needs (flat driveway, one-story, small yard). It worked. For a homeowner who is doing the “maybe we should consider selling” dance, not needing to prepare a house for sale is a HUGE relief. And the personal story (as opposed to a generic realtor postcard) was the kicker.

This opinion piece from the ACLU lays out some of the concerns. (Loss of privacy, hardship for unbanked populations, additional fees for merchants, etc.).

Yes! My dad died five years ago around the holidays. My sister was a wreck, calling me nearly every day for months. I was sad but I wasn’t nearly as affected as she was. But then when the holidays came around that first year, I was the wreck. I cried more in that month than in the first 11 months of his being gone. All that to say, grief is unpredictable and the advice to be gentle with yourself is spot on. I’m sorry for your loss, Janeway.

When a man shows you who he is, believe him. I don’t expect my pastor to share my political opinions. I do expect him to demonstrate respect and thoughtfulness and kindness though. I realize in this FB climate that’s a big ask, but a pastor ought to clear that bar easily.