I know nothing—NOTHING—about CMC but I just put it on my list to find later at the bookstore (I have a gift card burning in my wallet. Isn’t that the best feeling?) This weekend I read The Dutch House by Ann Patchett. The cover art is lovely and the story kept my attention. As I was reading I found myself judging the characters pretty harshly. (“Why doesn’t he just...” “That’s an unwise move...” “Ugh. Not again...”) Now that a couple of days have passed, I’ve softened toward them. (Personal growth? Perhaps. 🙂) And I’m still making my way through You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why it Matters by Kate Murphy. Great content.

I’m one of those who pops in here from time to time but rarely posts. Maybe this year I’ll become more regular, both in my reading and in my participation here. I finally bought readers (🤓) after months (years?) of complaining that the lamp in the den was too far away from my favorite chair, the light on the nightstand was too dim, the font in every book was too small . . . . Duh. I started the year with an easy and cozy book: I’d Rather Be Reading: The Delights and Dilemmas of a Reading Life by Anne Bogel. This was a perfect choice to start my reading year. I’m a few chapters into You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy. The subject is timely and the author is skilled. And I just started the novel My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Otessa Moshfegh. Too soon for an opinion. Will report next week.

You’re allowed to change your mind. This is true for both big and little things. I’m sorry this has been such a rough year. Frankly, you sound amazing to me.

Your post made me think of similar situations with friendships where one of their primary points of connection shift. For example, single friends bond over how hard it is to find a good man. Then one meets a great guy. Or two people talk often about their struggles with obesity. Then one loses a lot of weight. Infertility, as someone else mentioned, is another good example. That point of connection—the previously primary topics of conversation—become awkward. And then there’s pressure on the one who “succeeded” to downplay the good fortune to maintain the original bond. But that bond isn’t real anymore. I mean, the friendship can still be there, but THAT particular connection cannot be the thing that binds. You’ve gotten good advice, OP. Don’t overthink it. Be honest but casual. And find other connections with your friends. They may have their own struggles with jealousy, but that’s not yours to fix.

Oh! Sorry for the repetition! I sometimes peruse that thread but I get overwhelmed 🥴. Thanks for posting here, too, Lori. Your thoughts on books are always appreciated!

Yes! I had a bad reading year, too. I started a bunch of books, but I couldn’t sustain interest in many of them. (I recently gave into readers and I think that will help.)

And, if you don’t mind, tell why it was the best. I’m hoping to build a solid TBR list off of this thread 🙂

I love the idea of barre, but my knees didn’t care for the reality of the workouts. ☹️

Just thought of one more: I'm printing a photo and putting it in a nice (but inexpensive) frame that fits in the stocking. Everyone has pics on their phones, of course, but it's nice to have a photo of something recent/fun/memorable/special on the dresser or nightstand, too.

So many great ideas here! One thing we’ve done for years is a handheld tool in the stocking: screwdrivers, tape measure, hammer, wrenches, etc. We figure by the time they leave the house, they’ll have a decent set. Also, air fresheners for the car (I can’t stand the smell of them, but my guys like them). The fancy food section at TJ Maxx often has interesting pickles, sauces, mustards, chips, granola, candy, etc.

Yes to all of this, especially the last paragraph. OP, I would be THRILLED to eat that dinner you prepared. So would my kids.

You write about your thoughts and feelings very well! I hope there's some comfort in knowing people are reading them, nodding along, sending virtual hugs, and praying for you.

She’s 16. (Sorry, I should’ve mentioned that in the OP.)

I’m buying a gift for a bright, creative young person (16 years old). Last year she was interested in writing and storytelling so I gave her a copy of Stephen King’s On Writing Well and she loved it. This year her interests have moved into filmmaking. She’s getting a video recorder with a bunch of accessories from her mom and I wanted to give her something complementary. Any book ideas? Or something else? Thanks, Hive!

True! I amend my life mantra thusly: Ignore the Judgmental Goobers and Pass the Bean Dip.

Unpleasant, indeed! Which makes the life mantra that much more important. People living a life of ease and societal conformity don’t need to remind themselves to ignore the judgers.

Of course not. People should do what they need to do and ignore any and all judgmental goobers. Really, “Ignore the Judgmental Goobers” is a pretty good life mantra. ETA: My comment about what people might be thinking was in response to the original poster who wondered what people might be thinking.

That. Is. Awesome.

Can you contact the organizers of the conference and see if they'll tell you how they contacted him?

I’ll throw this out there as what I hope will be a note of encouragement. We’re not a giddy-with-excitement crew and my boys have never expressed great enthusiasm for any Christmas activities. They’d go along with whatever, but I always thought they’d rather be doing something else. This year, at 18 and 19, they both had some strong opinions when I asked if they wanted to do anything special. “We have to get hot cocoa and drive through that neighborhood with all the lights.” “We’re going to have cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning, right?” “We need to watch Elf.” “We’ll make those cookies with the icing, of course.” Made my momma heart happy to see that even the simplest childhood traditions hold some significance for them as young adults. (And I completely agree with City Mouse and Garga about not forcing anything. Let the teens join in and wander away at will.)

I’m planning to read the through the gospels next year. Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and repeat. I want more of Jesus.

That’s so rude. Even in “normal” times, that’s rude. I’m sorry that happened

Agreed. Plus, while you may be thinking “I’ll mask anyway because we’re all in this together” others may read it much differently: “See? It’s not about following the science or protecting others. It’s a virtue signal and/or a political statement and/or a bowing to fear and/or insert any of several other anti-masking defenses here.”

I'm envious.

I mean that literally. What do you do when you wake up in the middle of the night? Do you toss and turn? Listen to an audiobook? Grab the phone and scroll? Take a little something to help you sleep? Give in to the wakefulness and start your day? Just curious what insomnia looks like for others.