I haven't taken anything... it's not getting any worse so I thought I'd see what happens. I'll go take some now. Your experience sounds pretty scary! Teeth + allergic reaction = scary!

I might have had an allergic reaction at work today. I ate some candies that were in the staff room (Skittles, Cadbury mini-eggs), and a few minutes later, I felt like I'd swallowed something wrong and needed to cough - you know, the kind of cough when you can't stop yourself from coughing. This kept up for quite a while - maybe 20 minutes? - and none of the usual tricks worked, like drinking water, eating something etc. Then my throat started to feel scratchy, and it's felt scratchy ever since. Does this sound like an allergic reaction? I've suspected a sensitivity to food dyes after feeling flushed and itchy (face) after eating Christmas candy with food dyes. If it's an allergy, it's a recent one because I've eaten candy like that forever. Would my throat still feel scratchy and a bit sore like 6 hours after eating the candy, if it's an allergic reaction? If not, maybe I'm just getting sick...

Hmm. You make me think about my own gifted DH. His mother wasn't anxious as far as I know, but there was untreated mental illness (still is). He sees her once per year and never talks in between visits. When we visit, everyone (the WHOLE family - ugh!!!) pretends like everything is fine. That's why we only do one superficial visit per year. I certainly treat her like a bomb that could go off at any minute. We don't have any sort of real relationship. I definitely wonder what it's done to his psyche. I'm sorry your DH went through that. Does he speak to his mother frequently?

I've never heard of asking for a second interview to find out about fit. That's a great idea! At least you know now rather than having to possibly leave later. It's still a bummer though.

I'm sorry. That sounds so exhausting and horrible.

This is an interesting thing to think about. When I compromise, I usually have already considered the other person's wishes and compromised mentally, so my compromise is actually not a real one. **mind blown!!**

Does that ingredient have to be listed? Hope so.

That's quite the question! :-D

Yes! Good one!

Oh great! 😷

Half-sizes for bedding. I could really use queen and a half size blankets because the regular queen size are just too small when there are two adults in the bed, but king size blankets are way too big. Half sizes please!

My mom got a prescription for cough suppressant pills after two weeks of a cough. She said she was like a new woman after a few hours.

I never thought of that, but yes, that's pretty disturbing. Doing genealogy you can uncover secrets, too, but it's much harder and DNA gives you information like.. poof. You know it all now. Eek.

I think I would want to know, if it were me.... but you never know. Perhaps you'd learn something and feel pretty bad about it. If it's not my secret to tell, I wouldn't, even if I was tempted.

I sing a very boring song in my head. For the past couple of years, it's been Jingle Bells. If the other song starts up, back to Jingle Bells as soon as I notice it.

Don't even get me started on this. We both work full time but guess who does it all. We've been having those "interesting" conversations for 15 years now.

Thank you so much, everyone! I've got a lot to think about. It's reassuring to hear that it's possibly the job, not me!

Lately I've been feeling like I'm kind of mediocre at my job. It's not terrible, but I have been thinking, "Hmm, am I actually able to do my job well enough?" I'm a special ed teacher and I'm having trouble doing things like keeping up with paperwork, managing all the meetings, keeping tabs on all of the kids (especially the ones I don't teach myself but only case manage). I'm the only SpEd teacher in a K-8 school, and I would say the caseload is moderate. It's been feeling like my job involves so many different things and so many different people, I'm not sure I'm up for it! This job might require someone with rockstar-level organizational and time management skills, and I would rate my own as average in both areas. It got me thinking that there must be some people (maybe many people) who are not quite able to do their jobs as well as they should. I guess I've always assumed that most people are competent in their jobs, otherwise they wouldn't be there. But my own musings about my competence got me thinking.

Does she have an accommodation of priority seating near the professor? Or would that be helpful at all?

I hadn't thought of that. How horrible.

What happens if you call their doctor and say you cannot keep caring for them? My heart breaks for you. You need to get out. I hear what you say about not blaming. I also can be angry at people and yet feel empathy for the forces that shaped them into what they are now. If you ask me, that's a good quality... but as others have said, not if it wears you down so you're not even a person anymore. I 100% agree that you have to set an example for your daughter. Not just for caregiving... but in all aspects of relationships. If she sees you advocate for yourself in this relationship, she will have a frame of reference for other relationships, even romantic ones. She won't think it's okay to let a partner walk all over her, because she saw her mom refuse to be treated that way. You're obviously a very strong person to be withstanding all of this. So, use your strength in a different way now. It will be hard, but I don't see how it could possibly be harder than what you're enduring now.

😍 That's amazing!

Anxiety really cripples executive functioning. When you're trying to navigate other very challenging issues, having the anxiety of caregiving is going to seriously compromise your ability to make good decisions in other areas. You might not be able to notice that your decision-making ability is compromised, but it is. I might start by making a list of names of people that I need to give my two week (or three, or however long you want) notice. Just having a list can start the ball rolling.

Yes, this! A couple years back I got a large medical bill and freaked out. I called the hospital in tears and the lady on the phone told me that they have a program for lower income people. My bill was reduced by a big %, just for making a call.

I'm just not understanding how the words junk drawer and organized go together!