There are many things I don't understand that have happened. Just yesterday , a wonderful father and husband in our community died of cancer. He probably wasn't even 50. 4 years ago, the same thing happened to a family with 5 little ones. Then, a friend's baby died one month after he was born. A year before that, Chris Klicka died- they live nearby. I don't get why the Lord would take a needed father and husband when there are young children involved. I don't get it. But, I don't have to. I am not the center of the universe and just because I don't understand something doesn't make it wrong and it doesn't make God heartless or evil. He has a much bigger picture than I do. He knows what is best for his plan. Knowing His character, how He works with His people and His general plan for redemption, there will be things that don't jive with my understanding but I TRUST Him to work out His plan. I know the end and it's GOOD. Do I grieve? Of course. Do I get a little mad? Of course. I'm mad at sin and the results of it. I now have 3 friends who are young widows. Does it seem 'unfair'? Of course, to my human understanding, it does. Does that really matter? No. But, because of God's love for me, He has shown me His love and helps me gain understanding. God is omnipotent and what He wills brings about the best. I trust Him and His word. I don't know how but I believe that 'all things work together for good those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.' - Romans 8:28 Then there is the whole other soapbox I could step on about how He comforts us and is near those who grieve. Your question is a deep and endless one. How wonderful that our God is a compassionate and holy God- far beyond my comprehension. :grouphug:

I 'second' subscribing to Sharenet.....it's great. Will you be looking for any outside classes? CHESS is great- in Centreville. FISHE is a hs support group in Fairfax. HOPE is in Manassas. I just went to Mt. Vernon this past month- awesome- especially with the weather we're going to have this coming week. Hope you missed the awful rain we had for nearly 2 weeks. By the way- Welcome to VA!

Yes, you should be upset. She was flighty- but also disrespectful. Your dh should put his foot down with his family....he is allowing them to disrespect his wife. If they agree on a time, they should show up at that time. They're not dependable if they won't/can't. People who continually do this are selfish. I have an aunt like this and we just don't see each other much because of this reason and others. If I were you, I wouldn't put up with it. You make your boundaries and stick to them. Maybe you already have by not cooking for them. I'm sorry you've been hurt. It's painful to go to efforts and have them ignored. ...Oh, I read more and see you are dealing with latino-time. Yes, they're ALWAYS late. (I grew up in Central America) For those folks, tell them an earlier time (say and hour or 2!) and maybe you'll get a better result. I once knew a woman whose daughter was marrying a gringo. Mom was LATE and missed the wedding......good grief. Hubby made them start on time as most of the guests had arrived on time- even some latinos were on time!

:iagree::iagree: So true. A WHOLE NEW WORLD. :)

Exactly this. :iagree:

The 'carpet removal thread'- hands down. Oh my GOSH! My dh and I laughed until we cried, reading that!:lol:

My dh drives by it daily on his way to the Capitol. ...."looks like a Chinaman...." has been said on numerous occasions. I have to look beyond the obvious and remember what good things this man did for our country.

Thank you for this wisdom......I've had three VBACs (at hospitals) but am nervous about homebirths......I see now that saying something like this would be insensitive and hurtful. Thank you for pointing it out to me. I would have hit the ceiling- figuratively- if anyone had said the above to me....so I'll be more careful. I learn new things every day!

It sounds to me like she only wants things her way, she is disrespectful and complaining. I would discipline for the whining....mine ended up with a nose in the corner for a little while and had to show an improvement in their attitude or back they went. Whining bothers others- it steals your time and interrupts everyone's school work. The complaining could be said once to me, in private, and then not repeated. Yes, younger children will have easier work. Said child had that same kind of work when he/she was in that grade. Get over it and let's move on. Some weeks the corner got a lot of action! She should be able to work through a problem the way YOU guide her and not fuss/whine. You are the teacher. If she's uncooperative, then there needs to be consequences for that. Allowing her crummy attitude to upset everyone else is enabling her to control your school time. We had attitudes regularly that needed correcting. It's just as bad as hitting, kicking etc...... it bothers others and detracts from the serene atmosphere I'm sure you'd prefer. Self control is something children can learn but it takes practice. They need to see soon enough they're not the center of the world. Ask my 20-somethings what these type of people act like in the workplace....gee, the same. I hope I don't sound harsh, I haven't meant to be. But, you're the parents and YOU set the tone in your home. They need to comply with it. They'll get the hang of it- just be consistent and have each other's (your dh's) back. :)

Marianne- AGAIN, you're just a wonderful, awesome mother. Stacey is so very blessed to have you. Thank you for your example and sensitivity.

The same thing happened to me....our b/g twins are 29. Everything about it has been great. AND you will be able to nurse them both- I did for almost a full year. When you find out, look for some of the books that are out now on twins- they're great. Also, La Leche League has a pamphlet about nursing multiples- it helped me so very much. I'm hoping for YOU! :001_smile:

I'm so glad to read this! I've been slugging thru this since May....it's EXCELLENT but I need to chew on every page so, the reading is slow.

YES This. :iagree: Start with this 'concrete' idea " count 4 blocks" "find 5 _____(whatever manipulatives you have)- go all the way to 10. MANY TIMES. Next, start writing down the numerals on papers, teach them to the child and put them next to the correct number of manipulatives. You've now gone from concrete to concrete/abstract. The last step in understanding this is to remove the manipulatives and only use the numerals. They represent the number of items. This is the abstract step- no visual cues except the written numeral. Put them in number line formation- both the manipulatives AND the written numerals. Ask all kinds of questions: what number is small than '2'? What numbers are larger than '8'? Etc.... The idea is to make the transition from concrete to abstract smoothly and realize they mean the same thing. We can't carry manipulatives around with us everywhere so that's why the written form was invented. It sounds like she doesn't understand the representational written numeral. If your library has the old book "Math Their Way"- it will give you lots of help with these foundational concepts. They're necessary BEFORE she can start adding or subtracting. Hope this is helpful. :001_smile:

We waited until our son was about 12 before we went- we'd heard there was LOTS of reading. He loved it and it's his favorite museum. Also- there is an extra 'tour' you can take to pretend to be a spy....I didn't do it (it costs extra) but my dh and son did it. He LOVED that, too. I hope you have a grand time....there is so much to see here.

This IS a great idea. Are you associated with a church? Any kind of community groups? Start by asking around. Calling a church you feel good about and ask to speak to the youth pastor. He might be able to recommend some young women who could fit this description.

:iagree::iagree: I heartily recommend Lies Young Women Believe. I've given it to my nieces and went thru the Lies Women Believe with our daughter years ago. All of these are good, however. Maybe make it a date- do something fun that she likes and discuss a chapter or two while you're out.

:iagree: Unless said adult is YOUR child and you homeschooled them through high school . Yes, I've done this. And lived to tell about it. :lol:

If this would matter to you- I have found great references through Focus on the Family. They have a toll-free number you can call and tell them the kind of issue you're dealing with. They will then give you a few names that line up with a Christian worldview who have the expertise to handle what you need. I've used that service twice and they've been great fits. I also agree that a psychologist would be the place to start....they can talk with your child, perhaps put them thru some testing (don't worry- it's usually fun!) and come up with some guidelines. Don't know if this book would help you? http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Kids-Healthy-Choices-Children/dp/0310243157/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1316468127&sr=8-1

The short answer: I'm a sinner, saved by grace. The long answer: I'm a sinner, saved by grace who has her ups and downs, dry periods and times of great exaltation. Good thing Jesus is holding me up!

She's in GOOD COMPANY. Every doc I know has illegible handwriting. :)

I am actually in the middle of watching this, too! It is great. I didn't know it was a 4 part series- no wonder it's SO long...... The Mr. Collins character is uber creepy and Mr. Bennet is wonderful.

We've seen this at a church......in the period of one year, two men were disciplined for how they treated their wives- verbal abuse which culminated in adultery. It was handled carefully and respectfully. The women were abandoned by their husbands and the church pitched in to help them- and still does - 8 years later. The women are now employed and the children are mentored by men in the church, according to what the mothers desire. I really admire this group of elders and the pastor- the church body never knew the meetings and efforts made behind the scenes to get the men to straighten up. We were only informed once the men had rebuked any more help from the pastor/elders and started divorce proceedings. It was all very sad for the children and the wives but was handled according to Mt. 18. I wish more churches would follow the Biblical model and help families this way.

We live just north of the Manassas/Bull Run Battlefield. It just celebrated the 150th Anniversary- which was great with re-enactments, historical camp-outs etc....There is SO much to see here in VA and since this was where the first battles were, I'd definitely come here. Check out this website: http://www.civilwartraveler.com/EAST/VA/index.html A cool thing for kids is learning about the people: Check out: Thomas Stonewall Jackson (he got that nickname at 1st Manassas battle) Robert E. Lee (you can visit his home at Arlington Cemetary and learn about the story about how he turned down Pres. Lincoln's offer to lead the Union troops.) John Mosby (raided and pilfered Union supply trains- near Manasass) John Wilkes Booth- ended up in MD- great history Have fun planning and I hope you get to travel to some places.:) And- don't miss DC.

I haven't read all the replies but from personal experience, my dh and I TRY to implement Matt 18:15 in all conflicts. Going straight to the source causes the least number of waves. It's not always easy or convenient. I've done the same thing you have and sought advice from someone else also. It's a shame your friend's daughter talked..... that's the danger of it. The upside of it is getting another perspective. The mother is obviously embarrased and maybe some time will heal that. Consider if an apology for speaking with someone else will help her. I'd try that. I'm sorry this has happened to your family and your daughter's friends. Keep asking the Lord for guidance- He has the answer and He is the ANSWER. Blessings on you.

YUP. :iagree::iagree::iagree: This is one of my all-time favorite movies. The character development is wonderful.