Books like this might part of the thinking.... http://www.amazon.com/Already-Gone-your-kids-church/dp/0890515298/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1307141265&sr=1-2

Oh- I'd believe it was true- and so would many others. I have a sil who is emotional out to lunch like this. After jumping hoops and negotiating through her nonsense, for nearly 25 years, we've had to cut contact. Yes, to others in the family- we're the 'black sheep'. We've just decided to live with boundaries and direct our own lives w/o her crazy interference.

A few years ago, my dh and I went and saw "Taken". It was rated R, had a very-adult theme but was well done and had a good ending. Some of it had me closing my eyes. I was appalled that there were a few sets of children at that movie with their parents. It took my dh to grab my hand so I wouldn't say something to those 'adults'. I think scenes from that movie would have permanently been engraved on my brain had I seen it when I was 10. What were they thinking? Oh- maybe they weren't. :glare:

We did the same and I prefer the same. :001_smile: First choice would be a horrible family situation for our youngest - 14ds. Our oldest dd can manage him through high school and college, if necessary.

I would also be interested. I'll keep watching.

What about "The Entertainer"? by Scott Joplin. It was always a favorite and it's so fun to play! I've seen several arrangements over the years in all different playing levels.

Can parental controls be set up using a Blueray disc player for the Netflix? :glare: I've been asstounded at the 'instant' options for movies (can we say YUCK?) so we've started to take the blueray remote with us whenever we leave the house without our ds. We don't want him to have access to it when we're not around.

Imp- You're great. You should get a job as a columnist or radio talk show host......you're a natural with putting words together to prove your point. :001_smile:

My son is a voracious reader and I've about come to the end of my knowledge of good reading..... Walking through the shelves of YA - young adult- reading at the library on Tuesday, I was struck by how MUCH of it is oriented towards girls, vampires and death. It was pretty depressing.. If you have suggestions for action stories - with decent characters, please, mysteries, biographies, I'd all ears. :bigear:

:iagree::iagree: That's what I was going to suggest. Wonderful music.

I'm probably what you would consider a 'flaming conservative' and I completely agree with you. :iagree::iagree::iagree: :001_smile:!

:iagree::iagree::iagree: Solicite friends to help..... getting the house ready, baking/cooking, yardwork. It's the prep that really exhausts me. We had a graduation party for our dd this past Sat and the yardwork (which was pretty normal Spring clean-up but more because of the party) and house prep completely exhausted me. I should have enlisted help from others more! It's hard to enjoy the party when you're pooped!

I'm the one who tends to melt when the house is full of guests for too long. I like our privacy and believe in the old adage of : Fish and houseguests smell after three days. I'm better than I used to be and can handle people for up to a week. Last Christmas, my own dad- whom I LOVE dearly- stayed for 10 days. Emotional management- as my dh calls it, was imperative and the visit went just fine. A place to retreat to is REQUIRED. And I would never let someone else lay on our bed for a nap. Too intrusive. Our door stays closed. We've learned to 'map' out the visit. Knowing what is going to happen and who is doing what is necessary for me to avoid anxiety. If something is left hanging, I tend to get nervous. Other ways I de-stress and re-charge: going for a walk (either alone or with my dh), a grocery trip (alone or with him), sewing, retreating to our bedroom. I hope the visit goes well. 'Happy stress' is still STRESS. Blessings!

I love the lists already posted. One thing that is hard to navigate is when there is a temperment difference. My mil is an EXTREME introvert and I'm on the other end of the spectrum. Attempts at open, clear communication have been difficult because 'straight talking' and blunt honesty were seen as threatening. So, treading gently and trying to figure out what each party expects and wants is crucial and helps smooth out the road. The mil's child is the best avenue to wade through any land mines. He/she knows her/him best and can help the new mil out. I completely agree with Impish. The KEY word is RESPECT ! :)

I just want to add that medication has REALLY helped my dh (and me). Our relationship came to a crisis point a few years ago and he went and sought help from a counselor. The direction to the books and eventual try at medication was the result. The therapy helped US to talk more openly about it.....I was almost continually frustrated and he got down because of the lapses and numerous unfinished projects. I've learned not to take his MO personally (hard for a type A, sequential, uber-organized person) and we are working as a team much better now. Structure REALLY helps- like regular mtgs about bills, projects, goals etc.. Putting dates and deadlines on the calendar (which HE choose) has been a relief to me. He now has a greater sense of accomplishment (This for a CPA and finance director of a gov't agency) about what I would call the 'little things' in his life. He's got big fish to fry M-F and I don't want to overly burden with some things. But, our home is my office and he knows it has to function smoothly for me to be sane.

I can also relate! Mine has trouble with following through and finishing things. It bothers him almost as much as it bothers me. These two books have been really helpful- I think there's a good portion in one of them devoted to marriage. It helped him understand what I go through. Driven To Distraction Delivered From Distraction You're free to wine here. We get it. :grouphug:

Doorposts sells several charts and books on character training. We used the If-Then Chart very successfully....it was so helpful to have already decided on 'consequences' before the infraction. I found that I didn't always stay calm and remember consequences for the same infractions. With the chart up on the back of the pantry door, I could take the child over to it- point to the picture that showed the infraction and the picture of the consequence. It took the steam out of the moment and because it was at their level, they always knew the results of their bad behavior. The consequence can also be changed periodically, if needed. I laminated the chart and wrote with dry erase markers. This might be helpful. http://www.doorposts.com/details.aspx?id=14

:iagree::iagree: I second the reading of Love and Respect. It changed our marriage. Seriously- and mostly, ME! Thank the Lord.

24 years ..............5 chilldren. This will probably be our last year as our youngest will go to a Classical Christian high school next year.

Sorry- but NONE of them would go if it was us. How disrespectful to you (as his momma) and to your 12 yr old. Your dh needs to draw a line and tell how it will be- after all- it is his mother.

Me- I'd speak with the 'youth' pastor then the senior pastor then the elder board for all the reasons mentioned previously. How dare they do that to a child/teenager. :glare:

I flew from Salt Lake City to the east coast last night....It was snowing like crazy when we took off. It was the first time I'd ever been in a plane that needed to be de-iced. Back here, it's 70 degrees and lovely. Glad I'm home.

:iagree::iagree: THIS. I do this whenever we get a wedding invitation. So easy. They might even have a website for their wedding and you can get info from that, too.

Oh my WORD ! Now, that has me laughing histerically !!:lol:

In-laws and a narcisistic family member prompted us to read this book years ago. I'm rather embarrassed about how many times I've recommended the book on this forum but, it's the 'starting point' for dissecting a lot of issues. As for any down side- one can always go to an extreme with just about any 'cure' and be rude. It's not necessary. I had so much pent up frustration that by the time I read it, I was ready to go overboard a bit. Good thing, my dh helped me keep in balance. It took my dh longer to get on board with a 'plan'- he was used to doing it 'because that's what we do'. When he could see what over-exposure to his family was really doing to me, then he saw the importance of drawing some lines and sticking to them. Now, if his sil cries and wails because she doesn't get her way, he no longer feels responsible. It's HER choice to act the way she does. This book changed our life- that's why I recommend it so much- as well as the others with similar titles.