You had me at chaos LOL. I rather enjoy chaos, for some reason I function best in a busy environment. I have one child, though, who needs absolute perfection to learn. Perfect temperature, perfect feeling outfit, perfect lighting, perfect breakfast in his belly, and worse of all - perfect harmonious learning space. My cluttered kitchen table doesn't relax him the way it does me ;) and our loud, big family doesn't either. It's so challenging to engage a 7 year old while keeping up with a crawler/toddler. That you get ANYTHING academic accomplished in a given day should be considered a feat during this season of life! Add to that your student might not be an auditory learner (which is the easiest way to teach during chaotic, busy times) and there's no winning, is there? Hugs, Mama! I have a big family, so there were always older kids to help out with little ones but we had eldercare issues that required a lot of my time and intermittent attention the year my student was 5-6 years old. Talk about trying to keep people quiet and entertained, boy howdy, it was a challenge! That year I finally threw in the towel and did a very light schedule. I decided the classical ideals could wait until life calmed down a bit, and instead we did math and FIAR. We also did some SOTW, but mostly listening to the CDs (which I was originally too cheap to buy, but ultimately came to think were a great investement because while not an auditory learner just having it on in the background it truly did just sink in - to DD and to me, too!) and doing the occasional project. In another year life calmed down, and we resumed a more rigorous, classical approach. She picked back up just fine, a bit more mature even, and I was able to lessen the stress it was causing me. Another option for another year or so, is the library. When she was 1-6 she did story time at the library, while I homeschooled the harder things quietly in the back of the room with the elementary kids. It was awesome. If you have a grandparent or friend nearby to sit with the toddler during class, even better. You and the student can sit at a table in another part of the library and get work done. For some reasons my kids have always focused better at the library LOL. We also did school at McD's during those days, so I could keep an eye on her while she played in the kiddie area. Once school was done, the students got to play for a bit also. Or a cookie, if I was short on time (or just sick of McD). Good luck. Chaos is hard to deal with, that's for sure!

I actually think you've done well, but my general philosophy is "trust them until they give you a reason not to" - which is what you've done. I don't think you're an idiot at all. The thing is, even good kids get curious. Curious about $exuality, current about pop culture, curious about ... all of it, sometimes all of it jumbled up in one convenient spot. If she were determined to read it, it wouldn't have been hard for her to find it outside of her iPod. Deceit is never good, but it's always good for the parents when the child isn't SKILLED at deceit. I guarantee that next time she'll sneak any forbidden fruit from a different apparatus - maybe a friend's, a library's computer, or (like we did in the old days) a friend's mom's hidden paperback under our mattress LOL. So the deceit would bother me, but I wouldn't let it be the primary discipline issue - why would I want to encourage her to become more skilled at deceiving me? I'd follow the suggestion upthread to use it as a dialogue for what she's read. And to ask why she felt she couldn't ask me for the book, as she had done other books in the past; was it the nature of the topic? If so, I'm more than happy to seek out appropriate books (fiction, if preferred) that might more appropriately fill that curiosity void. I'd let her know I was disappointed at the deceit, but that what mattered more to me was brainstorming what led to it (so that we didn't go there again). You should allow it still. I think that owning part of the lesson here (allowing unsupervised internet) requires she not take the full fall by herself. I'd let her know that she had my full trust, broke it, and we'd work on rebuilding it ... the consequences being what you've already instituted (passwords, supervised internet, etc.). No more, no less.

I'm not going to click on the link - too heartbreaking - but from what I can gather, there's hope? Praying ferverently for this child, his family, friends, and community. We'll dedicate our daily rosary to them. Please, I don't want to read the detailed news but if there's an update - would you mind posting it here?

We haven't had any hard and fast rules. Pretty much "try to leave it as you found it" is what we strive for. Daily stuff and errands for the family are generally comped, but if you're going to use half a tank - be considerate and leave it for the next person the way you found it. We actually have a fleet of cars that any one of us can use at any given time, so every car is a family-use car. My brother is usually the one who fills up the gas for every car, including mine. We buy gas gift cards for the drivers for most holidays, so they always have those handy, too. Sometimes they use them for themselves/our cars, and sometimes they give them to their friends (if their friends are doing a lot of the driving). My brother leaves an emergency $10 gas card in the glovebox with the insurance and AAA card in every car our family owns. The boys have used those a few times, and have always replaced them with their own money. Sometimes I do, too ;)

Do you have the option of another nearby library? We ran into my librarian at Starbucks one day. She mentioned it had been awhile since seeing us, which felt like a probe. So we answered her honestly, and explained that while we would prefer to patronize our local library, their policies weren't as flexible as the neighboring library's. My local library at the time was only four years old in a small town; the neighboring library had been around for decades and was in an established city. She said we were missed, and I'm sure we were. We had been in there 4-5 days each week (it's walking distance from home), checking out skads of books every time. We were awesome for their circulation, and in securing funding for more books to grow the nascent collection. But their policies on using the study rooms and renewing books didn't mesh well with our needs. So we walked ... to a bigger, established library with more flexible policies. The policies included a longer checkout period (4 weeks versus 2 weeks), ability to renew until fines hit $5 (as opposed to unable to renew anything with even a $.50 fine on it - which was a problem when we popped in and I had no cash on me), an existing ILL program, a larger checkout limit (50 versus 20 per card), and the ability to use a driver's license to check out books when one had lost her library card (as opposed to recognizing me as a patron, but not having the empowerment to okay an ID check at the clerk level). About six months later, every resident received a survey from the (local) library board. They must've heard from others, to warrant sending it out. In the few months since then, they've been revising policies. Neither of my libraries have special exceptions for teachers or homeschoolers, but my local library WAS interested in hearing constructive feedback and realistic revisions to their policies. I think the key was twofold - one, they were receptive, and two, it was a genuine brainstorming effort as opposed to an action that might have left them immediately defensive (and therefore unwilling to become receptive). Good luck, however you decide to address it!

It's a huge achievement even with parental "urging" but without it? WOW. Job well done - both you, and your Eagle B) Obviously those genes are present, yours are just ... hibernating LOL. I feel like we're living a parallel life, 'cept I just tell the kids that my role (and I take it seriously!) is to make all the mistakes in life so that they don't have to. That's how much I love 'em ;) a few actually bought that, and turned out pretty darn well. The rest saw right through it, son of a gun. Congratulations to your Eagle Scout. We're proud of his hard work!

I like pretty much any Latin American food, but what makes me really appreciate Salvadoran food is how it marries the best of Latin foods (corn, beans, veggies) with familar foods from the tropics, which is where I'm from - other hemisphere, though. So while I enjoy Mexican food, I can always find that AND something a little more reminiscent of home ... in a Salvadoran restaurant. Fish, root vegetables, tropical fruits, things like that. The best of both worlds, IMO! I spend a lot of time working in Miami, and my favorite restaurants are Cuban and Salvadoran. But especially Salvadoran - yum! I wouldn't consider myself super knowledgeable about regional variations, I'm just a frequent diner-outer when I'm on the road. I defer to my belly, it just knows "good" and "no good" LOL.

You know, I was that student LOL. I liked to doodle; still do. It helps me to focus, believe it or not. I had one teacher who found it extremely disrespectful, and I was constantly reprimanded. The following year, my (new) teacher realized that it didn't interfere with my learning, so she allowed me to doodle during her lessons. From that point on it was a crapshoot whether or not any given teacher during any given year would be okay with it. If I can't doodle, my mind wanders and I'm just in another world. Maybe something like that might help her during schoolwork, especially narrations? Anything with her hands, kind of like white noise but white ... motion. Coloring, drawing, maybe even jumping jacks or tossing a ball? My son plays nerf basketball, my daughter kicks around a hackey sack. It helps. With my daughter, she would still get distracted initially - like she'd shout out, "Hey! I made six in a row!" referring to her hacky sack kicks right in the middle of my readaloud LOL. But then I reminded her that I'd take it away if it wasn't going to help because we could be distracted without it, too, she shaped up :) she's about the same age as your daughter.

I don't have a key ring, just a car key. I used to have that standard, simple single silver key ring but I kept twirling it fast around my finger and losing it whenever I was out. So my son finally took it off, and now it's just me and a key. This way it stays put in my pocket, and I don't have to call him to come pick me up with the spare. And then spend $300 to replace it. Again. And then again. Sigh.

I bring soup in a thermos for the siblings to eat, and a wrap or deli plate for the player(s). Deli plate is sliced turkey, cubed cheese or a hard-boiled egg, grapes or an apple, and a few grissini breadsticks or slice of sourdough. If they're still hungry when we get home, I have soup still on the stove (or put away in the fridge for a quick re-heat). Sometimes instead of the deli plate we do wraps - usually when we have leftover chicken pieces. I throw in the chicken, lettuce, and then (depending on the kid) tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, and some kind of dressing. It holds up well enough. I find the wrap is less ... heavy ... than sandwich bread. It gets boring, but they just know that during season it's repetitive, boring meals or ... you may stop playing your sport. I don't mind which, but it's one or the other LOL. ETA: When I know we'll have a late night (sometimes we have games from 5p straight until 10p, between all of the kids) we do a huge lunch and then a more snack-y dinner like popcorn and fruit or raw veggies or something. Between the lunch and the following morning's big breakfast, they've always been fine. I'm always fine if they re-heat oatmeal or soup when we get home, if it's not too late - not a meal's worth, but enough to tide them over if they're absolutely starving still. It's not often that they need to.

My favorite ethnic food is Latin, and I love love love Salvadorean food. Mexican, too. I am a very strong swimmer. I grew up on the ocean, and spent the best years of my life in the water. I like mutt dogs, and the bigger, the better. I like short-haired cats, and I'm drawn to the black ones. White cats kind of freak me out. I don't know why. I could only own one if I were it's last bet LOL.

I have an iPad, and there are iPads, Kindle Fires, and Nooks also living in my home. I use the iPad for work, but never to read. The closest I come to reading on it is when I'm using wi-fi on the airplane, and I'm tooling around the internet. I don't read even the internet on the iPad when I'm home. I never read from the Kindles or Nooks. I've never tried, and have zero desire to. I'll probably hold out as long as there is printed material available. I greatly prefer to read printed material. A few magazines I've read went digital only, so I just stopped reading them.

We also check out hordes of book every week, even ones we already own and especially ones we use for our homeschool studies. I'm concerned about the experience others have mentioned upthread, where books there for their olders had been culled by the time their youngers cycled through. I have no idea if it matters, or even if it's counted by number of checkouts or number of UNIQUE checkouts (meaning, not just us checking them out repeatedly). I keep forgetting to ask them.

The mahogony has been spared :) I think. I sold it on Craigslist today and then turned around and bought another wood table that better matched the walnut built-in. I did check first with my brother! I got it and dinner, too, once he saw that I had turned a profit B) Thanks for the input, especially re: painting the table/mahogany. I had no idea it was such a treasured wood. The couple who bought it were also horrified to hear I had been about to paint it. They thank you, too LOL.

I didn't expect that they were, I was just surprised LOL. One of them is just the funniest lady. They're all Pinoy, and she's a grandma. I asked her why she's still working, why not retired already, and she says her grandkids are "too much" so instead of staying home with them while Mama works (which isn't uncommon for the culture), she lets Mama stay home instead (while she/grandma works). I always tip her extra, and even if she does get rich off of it - good on her, I say! My sister graduates from Stanford in a few weeks, so we know what it costs to live out there. The COL is comparable to where we're from, and I'm amazed at how people who aren't from there (or other high COL areas) can ever afford to move there!

I was a myopic Asian school kid :) None of my kids are LOL.

Things are gonna work out great :) I'm so glad your first city visit was a hit - what a relief! Be careful what you wish for, .. the paradox of choice, and all of that LOL.

We attended my nephew's ceremony in the Fall. We wore church clothes (slacks, button-down), and many were in business casual (khakis, polo). We were over-dressed but not awkwardly so, but this is also a golf town so business casual is the standard for any event - it seems. I wanted to get him an awesome Leatherneck, kind of to graduate to a man-man tool LOL, but my son talked me out of it. He said he had enough knives. I guess it's like giving a rosary at a Catholic sacrament, everyone gravitates to those? So I didn't. I thought about a gift card to the scout store, but he didn't NEED anything else from there at that point. My brother got him some fancy framed deal for his certificate, but ours is a smaller store and there wasn't anything in the catalog that seemed ... necessary. I'm not a cash-giving person, if I can help it. But this was a time I felt it appropriate. Or maybe I was just desperate. Either way, it went over pretty well :) Two of my sons are also in scouts, and their gift to him was a momento. They got a piece of leather; strung it to a frame made of twigs; burned in his name, troop number, and the year; and sewed all of his patches to it. His rank patches, patrol patch, leadership patches, everything. Looked pretty neat, and he liked it. I guess the leather and twigs had some significance that they shared when they gifted it. The troop got it, I was lost. As usual. Does he have his own gun? Ammo is always a good gift, if so. Or a gift card to an outdoor store that might sell it, or other related stuff.

I spent my formative years working in the restaurant business, front and back. I always tip generously, wherever I go. I can, and I remember those days LOL. We have a standing weekly date at the Mongolian restaurant here in town. We have "our" waitress. She brings our food, drinks, comps the kids dessert from time to time, and is just a real treat both at work and when we see her around town. She's pleasant to the people, even the dismissive ones, and her bad days are better than the good days some of her co-workers have. Her kids have drawn us cards thanking us for sending them to summer camp :D but really and truly, she's just that good. We generally tip her 40-50%. Every other self-serve type place, I tip 20%. If money was tighter, I'd feel 10% was reasonable for standard service, 15% for good. Sure I could do it myself at home; but if I've given myself the night off and the server earned it :) we both do! If it's a counter-type place and I do everything but ring myself up ... I might put a few dollars in the tip jar if it's a place I frequent. The presence of a tip jar generally annoys me, though, so I otherwise ignore it. I will over-tip before I under-tip, unless service is very poor. I don't know what servers make in my state (min. wage or reduced), but if they're making minimum wage, good on 'em. Maybe I'm in the wrong job LOL. To the Bay Area poster -- I flew through SJC the other day and was talking to a young employee in the Club. He said that the airport mandates a "living wage" as opposed to the "minimum wage" so restaurant workers at the physical airport will make even MORE than their counterparts on the outside. To see that the outside people are making $10/hour leaves me curious what SJC workers are earning! I eat at that Gordon Biersch everytime I fly through, no wonder they remember me and are always happy to see me. I must be the only schmuck who didn't know they were already making so much! LOL

I'm on a temporary assignment in a new place (it's a 5 year placement), so this recently came up for me also. Back home is a small community, and both parish priests were fine with us homeschooling for CCD. The older one had married my parents back when Jesus roamed the Earth, the younger one is my cousin. The agreement was that any one in the parish was welcome to do sacramental prep at home (homeschooler or not), and the child needed to have an interview with the priest. The priest would have a relaxed discussion with the child, not an interrogation LOL, to assess readiness based on the workbook the diocese had chosen. This workbook was very "light" and a waste of time IMO. We used Faith & Life at home, which covered everything in the diocesan workbook - and then some, but did a quick overview of the diocesan workbook just to make sure the kids could comfortably dialogue at the interview. My temporary residence is in a much less Catholic area. My pastor doesn't seem as comfortable making such allowances, and feels F&L is an archaic program. He's very much in support of the diocesan choice, which again - is very light IMO. The diocesan rule is two years of CCD classes at the parish OR enrollment in an area Catholic school. I fought it, showed him F&L and proposed an interview with my child, got his opinion of F&L and people who try to bend the church to their wishes (insert expletives or euphemisms here, depending on where you stood in the curse words/swearing thread), and was bid a good day. To be fair, his parish is about triple the size of my hometown parish; he's undoubtedly busier. So I figured I'd work with the parish back home to get this child her sacraments, on our next visit back. That's ultimately where we'll end up anyhow. But! There was a month where every single Mass the Pastor was pushing "small church communities" on us. God Bless the Holy Spirit LOL, I found five of my daughter's friends and approached Father about doing a small church community for the kids to meet the CCD requirement. After a few dinners at the house, he relented :) so we've done this for the past two years and our kids have begun making their Sacraments. We use the diocesan curriculum, more as a supplement but in good faith, and add in elements of F&L, Image of God, and various things from the internet (Faith Folders, Catholic Icing, etc.) We impressed him this year with our level of preparedness, and I don't think he regrets permitting this. Beginning this year, he's also approved a Home Study option where any child can use the diocesan curriculum to homeschool at home; proof of a completed workbook is required at the close of the year. Had that been an option originally, it's what I'd have chosen. Is there any way you can ask him if you might do either of those? Nothing to stop you from working FROM the workbook and presenting the same information in a way you feel appropriate for your child. I doubt there's anything scary in it at the 2nd grade and down, but you'd be able to determine that for yourself at least :)

My teenagers still do, also; as does the caboose (who's 12). I come from a huggy, touchy culture so I don't think they even realize they're doing it (while no other boy does!) even now that we're temporarily living in a small, American South suburb far away from "home." But other parents sure have noticed! My boys all play baseball. Once I had a late flight arrival, and missed the first game in my boys' tournament. I headed to the ballfield straight from the airport, having been gone for two weeks. As soon as I walked up, my sons and nephew started waving and shouting their hellos from the field. I sat down and started to visit with the other parents. I didn't notice the inning change, and out of nowhere three smelly sons and a nephew tackle me from behind, all piling against me and showering me with hugs, kisses, and "Love you!"s. They were fast, because they had to get back to the dugout, and I thought nothing of it until another parent lamented that she couldn't get her son to kiss and hug her anymore, and she missed those days. At the time, the boys were 14-16. That game ended and we had an hour to kill before the next. Her son asked her for money to buy concessions and she (jokingly) told him she'd give him $10 for a hug and a kiss LOL. Poor kid was mortified to be put on the spot but acted a good sport, did it like he thought she had cooties, and earned his snack. Totally still made her day.

When my SIL was alive, she handled these things :) If we're ever blessed with another SIL, I'm first in line to hand over the reins. But minus any SILs, I get to be my overbearing big sister self. And fortunately he doesn't mind LOL.

Look. If I don't do these things for him, he will be living with stuff that drives me crazy!! Obviously that's not an option. For either of us. I don't officially live there but I'm there every day. Clearly, it's paramount we resolve this issue. He's the most laid back person I know. He humors me by allowing me to inject my breed of crazy into his life. He's a great brother, and I want his table and hutch to not drive me crazy. (oops, I mean I want him to be happy. Yeah, that's it.) And you'll be happy to know I've found my right mind. The mahogony stays B)

Hmm, good question! I'll have to ask him when he gets home.

So apparently I had a lot to say on that topic ;) LOL. I'll go play somewhere else now. Sorry, Ladies!