I'm not sure where you live, but on the higher end an annual pass to a local museum would be great - especially if you have an awesome children's, science, aviation or similar museum nearby. Or there are always art museums and botanical gardens and zoos, too :) For those who might balk at books, might audio CDs be better? There are a ton of great audio books, at a range of prices -- we've loved Scrambled States, Micawber, and anything by Jack Prelutsky to name a few. If that's not "exciting" enough for the giver, perhaps a reasonable CD player or mini-stereo to go along with it? We have always had a little reading corner with a dedicated mini-stereo where the kids could switch out any audiobook they wanted. It's how I was able to school the older kids! Nowadays we have an iPod dock and dedicated iPod -- if you have an iPod stored with audiobooks already, maybe a dock? Not exciting to open but he'll love it once he figures out what it does! Games come in wide variety, price range, and people love to gift games they remember playing themselves. They're also easily exchanged, wink wink. Balls are always a hit with kids. Soccer balls, nerf balls, wiffle balls, rubber foursquare balls. Summertime - do you have or live near a pool or park? Water toys, park toys, maybe an inflatable pool if you live where it's icky hot. They range from $5 to 100. Or those nifty sprinkler things LeapFrog DVDs? Math Circus for your mathy guy, but even my readers like the many phonics DVDs. Edutainment is a comfortable compromise for me at holidays LOL. Is he not into Duplos/Legos? Or Thomas trains? Both allow for building, multi-age play, and are easy collections to continue buying for. Not that you'll have room for either with your stash of blocks but ... we have never had too many blocks. Or Lincoln Logs. Mini-trampolines are fun and fit under most beds/sofas for easy storage. I have 4 year old nephews. One is into superheros, so I gave him a personalized superhero cape. The other is into scaling heights so we made him a really neat wooden-seat swing for a really tall tree in his yard. Both have enjoyed mini-tool sets that they use to "help" around the home. My 5 year old nephew is into cars - he was a builder type, too, and he builds garages and roads using blocks the way Thomas fans lay track. That about scours my brain, hopefully it's someplace you can jump off from LOL. Happy early birthday to your little guy!

I don't think we do. But I think we tend to open the door for "needing" a good reason when we offer one up. Instead we'd do better to leave that door closed, and to simply say what you've written: "I don't want to." And leave it at that, secure in our decision, repeating as necessary until deaf ears hear. Yes! Do just this! Excellent start. Not easy, but definitely worth starting and doing. Good luck to your family :)

I liked the post by Jann in TX, and also that of Jean in Newcastle. I come from a large family, so we're used to dealing with a variety of personalities. Some click, some clash - and that's just the way the cookie crumbles, fair or not. Nice or not. Right or not. Grandparents are human, too. Sometimes failingly so. My family is very open about whom is whose favorite. I guess it's never really a big deal because there are so many of us. Growing up, we had enough close family that each of us was SOMEONE's favorite. Now that we're the aunts and uncles there are still enough of us that every kid is covered LOL -- no one is nobody's favorite. Nobody doesn't love anybody, we just naturally gravitate towards those who share our temperments and interests. Love shouldn't be judged by fairness; no one wins. How it must hurt one's heart to see the unfairness, though. I'm sorry it's an issue in your family :( I wouldn't intervene other than to work on the heart I had more influence on (my kid's). My mom has scads of grandchildren, and of them all my son is her favorite. They get a lot of one-on-one time, and he's so much better for it. I couldn't imagine holding their relationship hostage to her good intentions playing out unfairly. But there have been a few times that I suggest he invite another sibling or cousin along for g'ma time, and he understands why. There are times when I invite HER to do things with us, or with other groups of kids to break up things a bit. But by and large I leave their relationship to them. All I can do is work with the situation I've been handed; I can't go changing people. And not for wont of trying LOL.

No one here has his or her own bedroom, so while we don't have a steadfast "no kids in the bedroom" rule ... we do have it on a case-by-case basis, depending on which kid is over. Some kids are more respectful of what's off-limits in a shared room, and/or are friendly with the siblings my child-host shares with (so it's a non-issue). But some don't have experience sharing a room or space, and/or expectations at home to ask-before-touching something that belongs to another. I'm happy to have these latter kids over to play, we just keep certain areas off-limits to them. I've found our rule of understanding to be sufficient for meeting a variety of situations. It's only proven problematic once, when my preschool daughter announced loudly and tactlessly: "Him {son's friend} can't go there {into my son's room}. Him always touching {my other son's} stuffs! NO 'LLOWED THERE EVER!" We share bedrooms, so there isn't much room for play things. The kids keep a few personal favorites in their rooms, but for the most part our playing is in the common areas. Bedrooms are pretty much for quiet retreating and sleeping.

I'm a night owl, so I sleep in. But we're always up for Friday morning Mass, and have been since my own childhood. Some Fridays I attend, having pulled an allnighter or having only "slept" for a fitful 2-3 hours. It's hard, but it's important to me to go. So I make it happen. Of course, on those days the rest of our day is shot because I come home and nap OR I'm a zombie all day long! But it's not something I'm willing to give up, so we just make it work. And you can, too. For something important that has you excited, you should B)

I like having the TM because his method is different from the way I learned math. The DVD is helpful, but I have to read the lesson in print to make sure I'm correctly communicating his METHOD to my students. It has nothing to do with me not knowing how to do first grade math. But for me to understand his method well enough to teach it, I have to see the lesson in print. That's just how I process new-to-me stuff. I find that the written lessons go a bit more in-depth than the DVDs; this isn't really a huge deal with Alpha, but it's nice later on in the upper levels - especially if your kid isn't math-oriented, and has lots of questions. And if you're not math-oriented either, and have no clue how to explain your answers through the filter of MUS's methodology! That and even for Alpha level, most days I prefer to correct work from an answer key - even if I can do it in my head, I have no desire to LOL. But it's not necessary, no. Most people can teach just fine from the information presented in the DVDs. If cost is a factor, don't forget to check Half-Price Books' online marketplace at www.hpb.com . I found our MUS Geometry TM and DVD there last week.

I was at the conference today for about 30 minutes. I didn't make it all the way through. Too crowded. When did people stop knowing how to walk in a crowd? People zig and zag with no rhyme or reason to their movements. Then they stare at you blankly when you freeze in place, trying to figure out how best to avoid running into them since they displayed no predictable pattern! I miss the good ol' days when people moved to the right to avoid oncoming traffic. And when people had a general awareness of others. Seriously, if you're wearing a backpack or a frontpack (bag or baby) - no fast turns! And remember you're now a good foot or more wider so take that into account when moving around LOL. So, don't know if there was any must-sees. Hopefully not. I have zero plans to return tomorrow, or ever again. I'd rather pay shipping and the extra 10% on anything I order from the vendors B)

I'm the registrar for our soccer association. We're a small organization but well-established, and we offer scholarships (as do our surrounding associations). So when and if you're ready, if it happens to be before you clear your gap, know that this could be an option for your family. That said ... I come from an extremely athletic family, both organized sports and general active fitness. We grew up in the tropics, with mountains on one side and the ocean on the other - we spent a ridiculous amount of time active in the outdoors, whether hiking or surfing or just climbing trees in the yard. So sports, for my kids, was never an "if" but a "which" (they choose). That's my bias for the below: I'm a fan of most kids getting exposed to team or group sports around age 5 and up. Most kids. There will be some that are just too paralyzed in what feels (to them) a pressurized situation, but most kids will be just fine. They may not be team champs, they may not learn all of the rules of the game, they may not want to repeat the same sport the following season, but ... I think it's easiest to try new things out when they're 5-9 and there are plenty of other kids who aren't sport prodigies, who forget some of the rules of the game, who need to try a variety of sports before finding the one that clicks for them. There'll always be that one obnoxious parent, but let me tell you - that one loser multiplies the older the kids get! That's no fun for anyone, least of all for a kid who is just dipping his feet in the water for a given sport. I feel it's important that kids have a basic understanding of the sports supported by our culture. I don't expect this will be a popular opinion, but even for kids who aren't naturals on the field - an understanding of the game is a valuable social skill. The time to garner that understanding is when the pressure is least, particularly for non-natural athletes. I think most kids should have a basic understanding of how baseball, basketball and soccer are played. Maybe football or hockey, depending on where you live LOL. I have no good reason for this, it's just what I think ;) I think it helps level the social field in many ways, continuing up through adulthood. (Remember, I did admit my bias!) Familiarity with at least one of these sports is important, IMO, and that familiarity is well-gained during those lower-pressure early years. One need not play to become familiar, of course, but it doesn't hurt! Dad not being at games? That's not a reason to not sign her up, IMO. The argument that he won't be working two jobs forever can be turned around to support your mom's opinion, if you think about it. Sign her up now, and at some point the financial gap is bridged and he'll be able to attend her games. So that's reading like an excuse, to me and maybe to her. I think you don't realize it sounds like one because you have such fond memories of your own dad supporting your athletics, and you're saying it through that filter - a filter only you can appreciate, you know? FWIW my job involves long-distance, extended-stay travel. All of my kids are in organized sports, and I've probably missed as many games as I've attended. It's not really affected my kids' participation or interest in their respective sports. It sometimes stinks to miss a great play, but (truth be told) I've missed great plays by chatting to the mom next to me in the stands or making a run to the concession stand LOL. Not wanting to tote a toddler and infant around? Super valid reason to not sign her up! That's stressful, and those of us who have BTDT recently would never question why you're not up for the task. Your mom may be too far removed to remember what that'd be like. So maybe you put it on her, and say you're open to registering for soccer but it requires some support - either she takes the toddler out on the boat on Saturdays, or she commits to showing up for the majority of games during the 8-week soccer season. If she's not willing, she's more likely to drop it at least - you put the ball in her court, after all. Is your DD the eldest grandchild? Is your mom just excited that DD is finally "old enough" and can start doing "big kid" stuff? My MIL was always trying to force my eldest (her first grandchild) into the next phase, without truly appreciating where my eldest was in life. She didn't realize it until I repeated it ten hundred million times over as many years but the kid had plenty of years to do those "big kid" things. If your mom was a strong drive behind your own childhood athletic experiences, maybe this is more about her than about you and DD. Maybe she got more out of cheering for you than you realize, and she's ready to do it again with your DD? For some parents, and I guess grandparents, it's part of their identity -- if not the sport, then the child playing the sport. Or is DD behind a grandchild (from one of your siblings) who started sports young, and so your Mom's gauging your daughter's "readiness" by what her other grandchildren have done? Or maybe her friends' grandchildren? (Side note: the competitiveness of grandparents gets just as out of control as it does between moms. It's nuts. I've seen it in action with the old ladies I work with. NUTS.) At the end of the day, and it's probably taken you a day to decipher through this ridiculously long post, it's more about owning your choices. I know it's hard to do against Moms, but you have some valid reasons for wanting to delay sports for your daughter. Trust yourself to make that call, and hopefully Mom will back off. She might be pushing because it's worked in the past, or because she senses you're not 100% sure of your decision. Moms suck like that sometimes. Except when I'm the Mom doing it ;) LOL

I'm another one who enjoys getting out of the house every day, if only for a little bit. Non-negotiables for us are Mass, and one sport. I don't care which sport, any sport will do. Between them, my kids participate in organized: baseball, soccer, horseback riding, boxing, drama, and mixed martial arts. I started counting drama as a sport when I saw how ridiculously physical it could be; had no idea! Churchwise, starting at age 10 I require service to our church parish. I don't care what ministry they join, they just must join one. Some meet weekly, others meet annually for refresher courses. We're walking distance to the church, so this doesn't impact my time too much. Even if each of my kids only did one thing each, we'd still be out pretty much every day. I have more kids than there are days of the week, for one, but also because I am able to support their individual interests rather than corral them into a single more-convenient-for-me activity. I can do this because I live near family, and my kids have built-in carpools with cousins and my own siblings. If I were living separate from family, I might have to be more discriminating about how much diversity I could support sanity-wise! We have outside activities every day of the week, but because my kids and their cousins have so many overlaps in activities we're not all necessarily gone every day of the week. We carpool, and my older ones obviously don't have to tag along to a sibling's activity. For that matter, neither do my youngers because there's usually someone home they can stay with LOL.

You're definitely not the Lone Ranger! Sometimes those years slip by before we realize just how experienced we are - whether it's schooling, parenting, or anything else. Before long, it's like Hey! I'm totally a veteran now! LOL and it's amazing the security and comfort that brings. Not only have we all survived, but we're actually doing pretty okay! Or at least that's how the convo goes in MY head.

double post. sometimes I get trigger happy.

Ornery can be good B) Even better is finding that place where we're happy and secure in our decisions -- where we no longer feel a need to justify or defend our choices, but simply to own them quite comfortably in the face of any reaction. Welcome to that place, Wishbown Dawn! We're glad you're here.

My ideal poetry corner would involve either a papasan chair or some big, squishy pillows set on the floor. I'd want that mosquito netting on a circle frame thing hanging from the ceiling so I could totally retreat. And I didn't know I wanted it until I read it upthread, but I'd love a CD player or iPod dock to play soft music. I don't need any pretty pictures because I'm hiding in my netting and papasan :) but I'd love a ledge to put my beverage on! All the better if it has a small vase with a fresh flower.

I had a bunch of (religious) sisters for teachers. The only memorable comments were those regarding the questionable state of my soul (I was a bad kid!) ... I'd have loved to been at your small country school where my gutter dives were more appreciated and understood LOL.

I had a bunch of (religious) sisters for teachers. The only memorable comments were those regarding the questionable state of my soul (I was a bad kid!) ... I'd have loved to been at your small country school where my gutter dives were more appreciated and understood LOL.

My mom is a creature of habit. She doesn't like surprises. So our gifts reflect that, year after year. Most of us get her the same thing year after year. I give her an orchid every year. Except the one year I also bought an inexpensive greenhouse because her foyer was beginning to look like a garden. Now every orchid I've ever given her lives outside in the greenhouse after a few weeks of gracing the foyer. My sister gets her a new scarf every year. Another sister gives her a framed picture of us kids, however many of us were able to gather at some point during the year. Another sister gives her a new visor; Mom, like many old Asian ladies, rocks the visor. Two of my other sisters are brown-nosers, and go in together to get something for Mom's house. Last year it was a new floor, not sure what it'll be this year. Most of my brothers chip in to buy Mom jewelry that she never wears but that will be nice for me to inherit one day LOL. I recently went to a Silpada party and have been pleased! My youngest brother always donates flowers to her church, in her name. Mom loves when her kids make her look good ;) What does your mom like? This year my sons bought her a subscription to a gardening magazine. I wish they had timed it better, since it'll take 6-8 weeks for the first issue, but she'll love it and the cost was very affordable. Last year they bought her movie tickets. Does she enjoy getting out? What about a membership - garden club? museum? When I'm low on ideas, I search the SkyMall magazine. Tons of stuff there, range of prices, good inspiration. www.skymall.com

I'm trying to figure out how this test worked, but I can't get myself out of the dang gutter! Points for neatness? If only all $ex educators were so diligent, we could eradicate wet spots the world over.<-- tacky comment, only highlight if you want to join me in the gutter Correct entry? Not touching that one with a ten foot ... pole. I'm Catholic but never used NFP. I'm not disciplined enough. I applaud women who are because I know it's a challenge, and you all have my utmost respect! Glad the OP found someone to vent to. There are few things I love more than women supporting each other.

Wonderful - thanks for the link! I'm not a member at our local botanical gardens, but we love going. It's one of our favorite places to do school and picnic. Tomorrow will be a great day to do just that, weatherwise, and can't beat the cost of admission!

I was this kid. Actually, it's funny but just yesterday I was talking with my mom and she is STILL saying, "I wish you didn't have to learn everything the hard way." Which isn't funny, but at least now I agree with her. Only took, oh ... well, several decades LOL. I tried a similar setup with one of my sons. Knowing he'd fail. Knowing he needed to fail for us to move beyond the irritation and forward to addressing the real issue. The hardest part for me was biting my tongue and holding back the "I told you so" -- I had to pretend I didn't know all along he'd fail, and to calmly ask him: "So this didn't work, we need a more concrete plan of action. One that respects your desires as a student but also meets my expectations as a teacher." My biggest problem with the setup, aside from him saving it all for Saturday morning and freaking out all weekend about it like he didn't know it was coming, is that it wastes my time grading. I don't want a deluge of work to grade over my weekend, you know? Just like he didn't want a ton of work to do over that same weekend all in one sitting. Explaining that helped somewhat, but he's still who he is. I had to remove myself from the equation and do a weekly computerized checklist. If he asks if he's done, I tell him to consult his checklist. Way less emotional for both of us. Though I'm still biting my tongue most days ;) Good luck to you both. I now know why my parents laugh and say payback is a *itch. This kid has taught me more than I'll ever be able to teach him. Darn him. Darn them. Darn it all!

I love the idea of a basic toolbox and book. I think I'll steal that idea a nephew who graduates next month and is moving in with friends. As for my other graduating nephew, I'm giving him a gas card and an IOU. The IOU is for lunch and a shopping date with me later in the summer. He'll need a few new additions to his professional wardrobe, and this way he can pick some things out himself. I have at least one sister and one SIL who also plan to chip in for this, and who will also give a small token gift to open at the graduation party. This nephew and I are very close and we share a similar fashion sense (for him) so it's win-win LOL. I have two neices also graduating next month. Both will be staying at home, too, and both have more-than-adequate wardrobes for any possible scenario - work OR play. One is graduating high school, and a few of us are going in to give her and her best friend a trip to the mainland. We'll give them a choice, within reason, but are thinking either San Francisco, New York City, or Dallas. We have family in all three. I'm donating my air miles and hotel points, the other siblings will kick in for expenses. This neice is staying behind in Hawaii and her best friend will be attending college in Kansas, so it's a nice last hurrah. The other neice graduates college and I was thinking of getting her a nice spa day but I also like the upthread suggestion of a bracelet - it'll be one of those two. My youngest sister is also graduating. She's worked her tail off and had scholarships cover all of her tuition, most of her books, and a portion of her living expenses at a public Ivy. We're incredibly proud of her, and as a family are gifting her my brother's car. He had leased it for the past three years and is getting a new car anyhow. She saved us a ton (more) by earning scholarships, and she's our "baby" so she marks the official end of an era. My parents have been supplying colleges with kids since the '80s!

I voted for after my kids, which is true the majority of weekdays. I live with and near family, so it's not unusual (especially this time of year) to put the kids to bed and walk over to a sibling's house for games, conversation, and such. Or, as was the case last night, heckling a nephew over the unfavorable call he made as ump at his cousins' baseball game earlier in the evening :) We stay up late. We did even as kids. Our kids sometimes join us, we're flexible about sleeptimes. I'm just not as able to recover from late nights as easily as I used to, so I still need to sleep in LOL.

Except perhaps the air traffic controller! (I have a brother who is ATC, and a sister and brother who are pilots at a legacy airline. It's a running joke between them who has the more important job. I have a sister who is a flight attendant, who thinks they're all nuts and that since she works with both the pilots AND the passengers, HERS is the most challenging job! I'm inclined to agree with her LOL.) I feel for my brother, the pilot. He's the primary breadwinner and his career has stagnated. It won't ever get better, and he's considering flying for an overseas airline. He has friends who have made the move, and are making what they used to at the legacy carrier. But what an ugly commute. Not a good idea for families with kids still at home. My sisters have been more easily able to ride out the contract changes because their income is supplementary. When my pilot sister was laid off from her legacy airline, she was able to find a job at a smaller airline - so while not unemployed, she did take a significant pay cut. When she eventually got re-called to her original airline, her pay increased but was restored to its post-9/11 concessionary contract. She's not B-scale, but she'll never see the A-scale that they used to earn. Two of my sons are working on private licenses, and a third hopes to start ground school in the next year. My siblings are encouraging them to keep it at the hobby level, but they know that flying is just in some people's blood. Where there is passion, there's a way. They just want the kids to know it's going to be a super-competitive market and that the downline (pensions, benefits) might not be worth the investment. So to not go in blind. One of my sons is considering helicopters, figuring there's a better market for that. This thread encouraged him, and also gave us both insight as to what he's in for physically. I'm grateful for the input so he, too, doesn't go in completely blind.

Happy Birthday, HollyDay! I like the idea of a hammock, and to personalize it ... maybe a new book and bottle of wine or sparkling water to accompany it. And to play off of Jenny's idea, an IOU for lunch or dinner, which they'll be making and cleaning up while you relax in the new hammock. But if you're planning to eventually get a new grill anyhow, I'd probably just splurge now (if I could, or put aside the funds for an IOU later) and consider it a joint Birthday/Father's Day/his birthday/whatever holiday gift. I figure if we're going to get it down the road anyway, it'll cost less to just get it now than to get it later on top of buying something less expensive now. And if now weren't an option, I'd settle for an IOU for it now. (But since I like to open gifts, I'd also ask for a small gift now, like a book or plant bulbs). If you're a tv/movie person, what about a Roku and/or Netflix subscription? Instead of a grill, what about new cushions for your patio furniture? Or new summer plateware for once you DO get the grill. If you spend a lot of time outdoors, what about a new hat or visor, maybe sunglasses? Is your patio wired for stereo? That'd be a great gift to enjoy come summer. What about plants - a nice big lavendar or rosemary bush near the door smells heavenly and both are very hardy. Do you drive a lot? A nice detail job is one of my favorite gifts. If it's an older car, maybe an upgraded radio for aux or usb input. New linens? A nice new bedset, sheets, or fluffy towels would be welcome here. Ross, TJ Maxx, etc have great prices on higher end linens. How about a new cush desk chair or new kitchen appliance in a frivolous color? Any honey-do jobs you can ask? Re-paint front door, powerwash windows, re-line kitchen cupboards LOL ...

I've shared a room my entire life. So have my kids. There were too many of us to have had a bedroom-turned-play room, but that's how I'd have done it - especially while the kids were younger (elementary age). I second the idea of keeping baby with you until sleeping through the night (if not through the first year), then transitioning him or her into a shared bedroom with the siblings. A play area will be nice for non-nappers to use during naptime. And for my own sake, I prefer a messy playroom that I can shut the door to ... to a messy bedroom that I'm having to step over things that the children leave out, especially during those middle-of-the-night pottying and other needs that leave me puttering in half-asleep. Nothing like stepping on a noise-making stuffed animal or a Thomas train at 0-dark-hundred. But we've always designated bedrooms as sleeping-only rooms, so I'm partial to that. Play areas have always been separate, though never a dedicated room. Congratulations on your new baby!

I've had boys and girls both dyeing their hair unnatural colors by that age. Our hair colors range from black to light brown, and I don't allow bleaching until you're not living at home. I just think it's awful to put bleach on one's scalp, so that's something they can look forward to doing when they're older ;) LOL. I don't even use bleach to clean our home or laundry, I think I'm just scared of the stuff! We use only vegetable dyes, henna, or indigo. The latter are permanent. Our genetics provide coarse, fast-growing, thick and can-take-a-beating hair but if I had a kid with delicate hair I'd have to research more diligently before allowing even these three dyes. My daughter has dyed her hair every year for her birthday since she was four. She started that tradition by losing a bet, then deciding she liked having crazy hair for a few months every year. My son dyes his hair a new color every few weeks as his hair grows out (he keeps it cut short), and he let's my daughter pick his colors. He pays for and dyes his own hair, as well as my daughter's. But I wouldn't have a problem paying for it myself, either. I'd rather they get the non-toxic, better quality and if he weren't willing to shell out for it - I would. I know some people judge, and I don't think that's worth vilifying them over; we all have things we judge for. I'm comfortable with my parenting decisions, so I just move along and keep doing my thing - same as I expect them to do when I'm judging them B) different strokes and all of that.