Your house is beautiful! I think that buyers that are looking at homes that are above starter home prices are veeerrryyy picky. Perhaps it is the influence of all those House Hunter shows where people literally complain about everything! We just got an offer on our house so I feel your pain of waiting ..... and waiting..... only to hear that it needs updating or the lawn is too much to handle. The right buyers will come along eventually. In our case we started out priced too high. We had to drop the price a few times and even then got a low-ball offer. I like those offers tho, because then I can say "We accept your offer contingent on not being bothered by anything on the home inspection" -- because that is always where the offer falls apart. So your house isn't selling at the current price. But you know it would sell in a second if you priced it at $1. So somewhere between your current price and $1 is the perfect price. Once you find that price you will get an offer. I would price it very competitively because you have a real need to leave your area. But be firm with anything that comes after the offer. Don't let them nickel and dime you to death. You will probably come out even with a lower price but no hassle from the buyers afterwards.

Yup. I just had to let go of the fact that he tells everyone all of the above. I know I have stayed above the fray in all of this, I know that I still have the love and respect of my children.

THIS^^ I know from his new girlfriend's facebook page that (a) she is divorced herself, so she should be aware of the whole process and (b) she puts herself out there as a strong, liberated, pink-hat wearing woman. I want to ask her just what in the hell she is thinking? She is living with a man who, while separated, is not divorced. His children are not talking to him. He has not paid a dime to me. Now I know he could be telling her stories that are completely the opposite of what is going on, but I would think a woman who was previously divorced would see some red flags in all this. He is her problem now, though. Not my circus, not my monkey anymore!

That is the overall plan. I wanted to make sure that any money he owes me does not come out of shared investment accounts. That just means there is less for us to split and I end up with less overall. According to my attorney it would either come out of the proceeds from the house, or off the top of one of the investment accounts. Then what was left would be split between us. And so far today, the deadline, I have not heard anything. So it looks like we will be off to court again :cursing: What a waste of time and money

Worst nightmare for a parent.

My attorney sent an email to his attorney last night demanding the payment of all the back money he owes me by Monday. Let's see if that happens ..... I think he is away this weekend (again) so who knows, but if we don't have a check by Monday then we file for contempt (again).

I plan on having it in writing that the money from the sale of the house goes to the debt. I used to trust the man to the moon and back. Now I wouldn't trust him with my trash.

:grouphug: :grouphug:

If I need to I will not hesitate to do this. If he ends up scrubbing toilets in Guatemala I will be right there, over his shoulder, collecting my half of his penny!

When we sell the house the plan is to take the equity and use it to pay off all debt - this includes the parent loans we took out for our daughter's college tuitions and credit card debt. The equity should just about cover that all so I am not planning any payout from the sale of the house but am happy to start with a clean slate and no debt. I am waiting to speak to my attorney about what the next step is. Unfortunately the judge was not as specific as I would've liked him to be. He just said he was upholding his original order which was for weekly payments starting in March. He didn't specify a date that my STBX needed to either start back up again or be caught up by. So unfortunately I will have to wait and see what my STBX does and then react from there. Nothing about this has been easy. We should be such a simple divorce; sell the house, pay off the debts, each take over our own expenses like car payment, and he pays me alimony. He just is so ADAMANT that he shouldn't have to give me a dime that he is willing to spend THOUSANDS of dollars on attorneys. Such an idiot

Yes, the house was on the market and we got an offer. Closing is scheduled for end of August. That will take a LOT of financial pressure off. He can be docked directly out of his pay if he continues to be a jerk. But that would be after I took him to court AGAIN which would take months. Months that I scrounge to pay all my expenses while he goes on vacation, drives his BMW, and takes his latest girlfriend out to $200 dinners every week.

Update: We are closing on the house on Thursday. Once we close I will get a chunk of money off the top and then my STBX will be paying me all the back alimony he owes me from his share of the profit!!! The rest of the money will go into the attorney's IOLTA account until we figure out what debt will be paid, etc. Bottom line, though, is that if FINALLY get some money!!! My STBX put in the paperwork that he reserves the right to argue about alimony but that is fine. I know he will fight me until his last breath but the law is the law and he will lose. So my sister and I will be going on a well-deserved vacation. I am so happy that there is finally some movement in this case. Our final court date is in December so I guess now we get into the nitty-gritty of arguing the final divorce agreement but at least for now I have some money! I FINALLY heard from the court today. It has been 7 weeks! Quick background because it has been so long and convoluted: Judge ordered temporary alimony for me starting in March. STBX refused to pay and filed a request to vacate the order. I filed a contempt order but that filing was basically moot because we had to see whether the judge would uphold his original order. So we went to court beginning of June to argue the request to vacate the temporary order. Today the judge upheld the order in my favor. Which is great news. STBX owes me somewhere close to $30,000 right now, and that is just to catch him up. Except that I still don't know if my STBX will pay. If he doesn't, it will be back again to the court for a contempt hearing. Which means probably another 3 months with no funds coming in. And the judge wrote that his denial is "without prejudice" so that my STBX can seek "disproportionate share of marital estate on account of the expenses above and beyond his alimony obligation that he is required to pay" Right now the order says he has to pay me alimony and pay the expenses on the marital home. I hope that doesn't mean my STBX can come back and want half of the mortgage payments he has been making over the last year and a half. He lives in the house, not me. He makes over 200K to my measly 40K. And he has not paid me ONE DIME in the last 18 months. So it is a victory, but it will be an empty one if he still refuses to pay and I have to take him back to court again.

Thank you for the responses. I really hope that I can afford to put it in for next season. I'll start getting some estimates......

https://cdn.cbhomes.com/s3/mediasvc-prd/properties/e71A9999314b408-72135988.jpg?preset=trim In my last house we had a great finished basement. It had a fireplace and plenty of windows. When my girls were younger we used the space to homeschool. When they got older and went into high school we used it for them to hang out with their friends. We put a Foosball table and an Air hockey table down there and got a Wii system for the TV. The kids loved hanging out down there and we loved not having teenagers all over the main areas of the house. The only thing it did not have which I would have loved is a bathroom. If you can put one in when refinishing the basement I would highly recommend that.

Nobody?

I probably will be living with my sister for at least 5-10 years before we move someplace else, and I would love to put a pool in the backyard. It all depends on how much money I get from my STBX, etc., but if all works out I may have some extra money. Does anyone have a ballpark for putting in an above ground pool with a deck around it. Something like this: http://pop.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/15/06/54d0e8109e117_-_tb_lead-lg-19.jpg

Thank you so much for thinking of me! We went before the judge to address my STBX's filing to vacate the judge's order that he pay me alimony. I was hoping the judge would decide right there and then (in my imaginings he would also do a lot of yelling at my STBX!) but the judge is "taking it under advisement" and will rule in, hopefully, under 3 weeks. My STBX did not present any new evidence that would require the judge to change his ruling but I am still on pins and needles until I hear his ruling. It is so hard to sit there and listen to his side lie! But my attorney was great. She quoted case law and statues while my STBX's attorney was all about just bitching about paying me. My attorney was able to bring up the argument that, if he is saying he cannot afford to pay me anything right now, why is he going away to Stowe, VT and Martha's Vineyard for vacation and spending money on concert tickets and taking his newest girlfriend out for dinner, etc. I am so glad she got that information out there. When we were done and all filing out of the courtroom it ended up that I was holding the door open while people were exiting. I saw my STBX coming and made eye contact with him. We have not spoken, either face-to-face or on the phone in over 6 months. He had a look on his face like he expected me to say "hello" or something polite like that. Well, that girl is gone. He was a bully all our marriage and this newest chapter is the worst. So when he came up to me I said right into his face "You are a liar!". He looked shocked! My sister and my attorney stepped between us to stop us from talking but I just kept saying "You are a liar!" Probably not my best moment but it felt so good to finally say something to him.

No bites on the house yet. I think it went on for too high of a price. We did drop the price after 30 days but.......blah

If anyone is so inclined to pray for the judge to absolutely bury him I fully support that! I am literally terrified about next week and about my future

I am going to court on Monday. My husband refused to pay the support he was supposed to per the Court's temporary orders. Monday is to address his "order to vacate" the court's order. Then on Wednesday I have to go to court because I filed that he is in contempt due to not paying. He just filed a motion this morning (11 pages long) of every reason why he should not have to pay me a dime during this time. He makes 5X more than me! I have been struggling financially for the last few months and now I am really up against the wire. I have about $1000 left in my savings account and that is it. Meanwhile my STBX has been living large, going out for $200 dinners with his girlfriend, buying $500 concert tickets, going on vacation to Stowe VT and Martha's Vineyard, just to name a few. I have laid out all the money he has been spending .... I just hope the judge really listens to everything. My STBX is pulling out all the stops to bury me. We have such a simple case (one house, two grown kids, a 401K and some investment accounts) but he wants to give me nothing. Not a dime. I am hoping the judge throws the book at him, although I am still not convinced he will pay up. Any good thoughts would be appreciated. This has been going on for almost 2 years now. I just want my life back

I read that she filed paperwork to block his motion for separation. She isn't going to go away quietly!

Once when I was in high school we had to bring our cat to the veterinarian. We had the cat in a cardboard cat carrier and had written his name, along with our last name, in big bold letters on the box. We had to leave the cat at the vet and were driving home with the cat carrier when we realized the cat had peed all over the cardboard carrier. My mother was already super frazzled (per usual) so she made us roll down the window and throw the box out. And there the box sat, on the side of the road, with our last name emblazoned on it, for the next two weeks! Every time I drove past it I cringed. Another story, but not something from the side of the road: I was walking my dog in the woods. We were about a mile in from the road when I saw a HUGE pile of shoes about 20 feet off the trail, just dumped in a pile. The pile had to be up to my knees. I can't imagine someone dragging all these shoes into the woods, going off the trail, and then dumping them by a tree?!

I used to watch Land of the Lost but only because I had a crush on the older son. And the sleestacks kinda freaked me out. If my kids saw the sleestacks now they would laugh at me! They weren't afraid of the Bumble from Rudolph or the mean wizard from Santa Claus is Coming to Town ..... I guess our generation were just wimps when we were little! haha

Hmmmmm Rhoda vs. Bob Newhart. That's a close one. But I think I would choose Rhoda. The characters on that show are just so great. I just can't watch the seasons where she and Joe break up. It's too sad!

I love the Mary Tyler Moore show! I got it on DVD and every single episode opens with the theme song, and I watch the opening Every.Single.Time! "Who can turn the world on with her smile......." I also love the old Rhoda shows. I was so bummed at my old job -- when someone in the office would call my phone I would answer "Hello this is Carlton your doorman" but they were all too young to know what I was talking about!!