.... And now he has Hell to look forward to.

I hate buying a car. The last time I bought one I had money so I did not need to finance and knew exactly what car I wanted. I walked into the showroom, saw the car in the showroom, pointed at it and said "I will take that one." I didn't even need to test drive it. It STILL took over 3 hours to process everything, including about 30 minutes with the guy trying to sell me a warranty and every other add on he could throw at me. I was so mentally exhausted when I left.

The Princess Bride. Basically every line is quotable haha. But we do use "Have fun storming the castle!" From Porky's (yes, big throwback and silly movie, but I did like this one line when a kid was being called a racist name, only the bully was pronouncing it wrong) "You are too stupid to be ignorant" Napoleon Dynamite: "Tina, you fat lard, come and get your breakfast!" ........ "Mom called and said she is tired of you eating all the steak and ruining people's lives" ............... "You're mom goes to college" And an oldie -- It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. This movie kinda freaks out my family because EACH AND EVERY CHARACTER without fail has a matching counterpart to a family member. It's like they studied my family and then wrote a movie. If you have every seen it then you will have an idea how spastic my family can be haha. "What could happen to an old-fashioned?" ........ "That's why you had me momma, to save you" ......"If someone comes along we will just tell them to bug out or we will bash their brains in!"

I went to NYC a few years ago with my sister. We stayed in the Crown Plaza hotel in Times Square. It was a typical hotel, nothing too special but nice enough. My advice is not so much which hotel you book but WHERE in NYC. We found that being in Times Square was waaaaay to crowded and crazy. Just to get across the street to get a muffin was like trying to stroll through a enemy incursion. Think about what you want to see in NYC and then try to get a hotel there. We thought Times Square would be somewhat central, but one day it rained and there was zero chance of getting a cab. We walked for about 25 blocks in the rain.

Thank you Scarlett for your kind words. I was just looking to see if anyone had experience with Living Wills. Not someone's opinion on what would strain a marriage. It didn't need to be said.

Wow. Being the one who has lived with my sister and brother-in-law for the last 9 years or so, this is very hurtful. I know you don't know our situation, so you don't know how and why it actually does work for us. But I am always aware that I landed there as a charity case. And sometimes at 3:00am I am kept awake by thoughts of that and how things could've or should've been in my life. That at almost 55 years old my life was so shredded that I had no where to go and was taken in by the kindness of my family. Your comment will be one that will pop up on some of my bad days. Maybe think next time you throw out a blanket statement.

Sorry for any confusion. BIL is a great guy, just not for my sister. I was just looking for general advice. Thank you for all your responses.

Okay I guess a little more context is needed. I have spoken to my sister about this already. The plan is that she is going to leave my BIL soon and that she and I will live out our lives together. Their marriage has not been working for years now. Please do not judge on that it is a very involved story. He will probably move into his father's house that was left to him. I made up my will so that if I die before my sister she will get my 401K and savings. That is so she can feel safe if I am not there to contribute to expenses etc. I am asking for a reciprocal agreement so that I can feel safe if SHE is not there to help with expenses. I told her I would like some type of Living Will or something like that and she agreed. I just didn't know what type of things I should be asking for. So, I guess I am asking a general questions: assuming all parties are on board, what type of agreement should I be asking for.

It is not so much what I feel like is my right, it is the fact that I don't want to be in my 70's or 80's and have to move without anything. I am extremely grateful that they took me in. I do consider the payments and contributions I made as part of my responsibility for living there.

Right now I live in an in-law apartment connected to my sister and brother-in-law's house. I have lived there for about 10 years now. My concern is if my sister passes away before me. My brother-in-law is a really great guy, but I need some type of protection. I have learned that situations and people change .... What should I be looking for? Right now I pay half the bills, including the mortgage, and also paid to put in a new septic system. I have also paid for some cosmetic things like a new deck and a gazebo (both were things I wanted to make the back yard a nice stay-cation spot). My sister and brother-in-law have lived in this modest house for 30 years. My BIL has worked two jobs for the last 30 years to pay the bills. When I moved in I had nothing but a disastrous marriage and divorce behind me. They took me in with no qualms and no expectations about paying my share, etc. It was just "you are family and have a place here" so I want to be very respectful to my BIL regarding how hard he has worked for this house and how gracious he was to take me in. Any advice as to what I should be asking for? Thank you in advance! 🙂

I CONCUR! My marriage of 28 years collapsed after years of narcissism and cheating finally caught up with him. I was devastated. Felt like I was unlovable, that there was something wrong with me, what would I do without him, etc etc. It took us 5 years to get divorced because he didn't want to give me one single thing. Fast forward to now and I have never been happier. The freedom to be me, the peacefulness I now have in my life ..... it's priceless. And I don't even think about him anymore. The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. I belong to a group on Facebook called Small Space Living and so many women post a pic of a small house or apartment and say "after X number of years married I am divorced. I went from a 3000 sq ft home to this 900 sq ft. apartment and I have never been happier!" It is a recurring theme and it always makes me happy to see other women breaking free and finding that life after divorce can be very very happy.

Wow. Your statement about "compartmentalizing and creating your own happiness ... and was willing to do that until you died" really resonated with me. You just don't realize you are doing that until you step back.

My Ex hubby definitely had a mid-life crisis, which forced me into one. He did all the usual .... started working out, lots of man-scaping, started coming home late, started an affair with a woman he knew in high school. So we went into divorce mode. I cried a ton, couldn't sleep because after 30 years with this man I did not know who I was on my own, and was not sure I wanted to be on my own. I spent at least 3 years in a constant state of anxiety. Fast forward with lots of therapy in between .... I am SOOO happy being single. One of the best things my therapist said to me: I was telling him that I felt I had been thrown off my course of life when I met my husband in college, and that 28 years of being married to a narcissist completely blotted out any part of who I could have been. My therapist simply said "Well, start that now. Go back to who you were at 18 and start making decisions based on THAT person and not who you were changed into." That statement gave me a lot of freedom to explore ME. I have a big Thank ya! to my ex if I ever see him again.

I don't care if she wanted to kill it or take it outside and marry it! I just thought it was mean.

I am upset right now. I work in an office with another other woman. While one lady was at lunch a huge beetle came marching across the carpet. I have a HUGE phobia about bugs. If I am home alone I will deal with it an try to kill the bug, but it brings me a lot of anxiety (and sometimes broken furniture haha). So I put a trash bin over the beetle to wait for the other woman to get back from lunch. When she got back she told me she would not kill the bug. She *jokingly* told me I needed to grow up and face my fears. I tried to say "it's a phobia that I deal with the best I can but if you don't have that phobia could you just kill the damn bug!" No .... she wouldn't do it! And at any other time this woman is so nice and bends over backwards for people. The thing is, I have had this happen before. People will say "Oh, I can't kill a spider! It will make it rain! hahha" and they they DONT kill the spider. If I was afraid of heights would you make me stand at the edge of a cliff? I guess for some reason people think a phobia of bugs is childish, but I just don't think that is for someone to judge. I can take good natured ribbing etc., but to flat our refuse to kill the bug just seems mean to me. I am leaving the trash bin over the bug for the custodian to get.

I do find it odd that he was found guilty on complete circumstantial evidence. But I think he is 100% guilty. And OJ Simpson was found innocent even though there was a ton of physical evidence. I followed the Scott Peterson case and have read some books on it. I believe he is guilty. The fact that two days after Lacy went missing he had the cable package updated to include p*rn, and a few days after that he updated it to an even more graphic p*rn channel. I know behavior does not always equal guilt, but Scott is a real piece of work. But I think without the testimony of Amber Fry he may have gotten off.

I was listening to the radio on my ride into work. The DJ's were talking about people who have a story from their past that makes people stop and go "Wait, what?!?!" The DJ said when he was 3 years old he was kidnapped by his mother. The story involved a bad marriage, etc. I don't have any story like that, thank goodness. Does anyone have a story like that?

I have always loved to sleep. When I was little, my mother would pick me up from kindergarten and once I got home I would hop into bed for a nap. She would try to stop me because she thought I would be up too late at night, but as soon as she got distracted I would happily run to my bed. Most toddlers fight their naps haha. When I was raising and homeschooling my daughters I always got up about 6:00 am to up before them. And now I work a full time job so I am up every day by 7:00am for work. BUT, when I have a free day, I love to sleep. I live by myself so I am not responsible for anybody, and I love being in my own home with some quiet time. But sometimes I think maybe its a weird extreme how much I can sleep? So, if you had a free day with no responsibilities and were so inclined, what time would you get up after a full nights sleep?

When my nephew was really young my sister had a picture of Abraham Lincoln in their dining room. After she hung it up my nephew was trying to eat his breakfast but kept suspiciously looking over his shoulder at the picture -- it was obvious he was a bit freaked by it. Then he said to my sister "Who is that guy?" and my sister said "That is the guy who wants you to finish your breakfast!" So now Abraham Lincoln is not a former president or anything, he is the man who wants you to finish your food!

Thank you for all of the suggestions! I am off to google and to dowload the podcast app!

I commute 45 minutes each way to work. I love to listen to books on tape, etc., but I always hear a lot about people loving listening to podcasts. I don't like "pundit" shows where people blab at each other about their speculations. I just want a straightforward story or talk on a certain subject. Two people talking usually ruins it for me. (So, yes, I am picky haha) Does that exist? I love true crime, anything spooky or unusual, missing persons, etc.

I saw this headline: "Jada now says she has never even met Will Smith" 😊

I think it is so important to have a hobby or something outside of just getting up, going to work, coming home and going to bed. I wish I could play the banjo, it is such a fun instrument. Good for him!

Coffee!!!! I know, I know, it's almost a sin to say it, but I hate coffee for the following reasons: When you serve coffee, you can't just serve it. You have to ask: caffeinated or decaffeinated? Milk or cream? Sugar or sugar substitute? IT'S A WHOLE FRICKIN PROCESS!! People who think it's ok to be grumpy until they get their "first cup" Constantly having to stop on road trips for coffee. The panic that sets into coffee drinkers if they think they won't be able to have their coffee in the morning To me, coffee drinkers are like smokers. They are constantly thinking WHEN will I be able to have some, WHERE will I be able to buy it, HOW will I manage on vacation, etc.

I remember once talking to a friend about Senator Kennedy and Chappaquiddick. I was saying all the reasons I thought he was guilty. Then my friend says "How do you know? Where you there?!" I hate that argument. I didn't have to be in Hiroshima to know they dropped a bomb on it.