Asparagus (stir fried or steamed) Brussel Sprouts (steamed with butter/margarine, salt and pepper) Spinach (saute garlic in olive oil, add spinach washed with a little moisture left in to steam, stir, and cover with lid until wilted) Broccoli Rabe (parboil for 2 min in boiling water, blanch in ice water, drain, then sauté like the spinach above)

I compliment my children regularly on everything...looks, effort, determination, kindness, helpfulness, etc... I want them to know I am proud of them and like them as people for exactly who they are. I tell my dd she is beautiful without makeup and wearing sweatpants just as often as I do when she is dressed and ready to go onstage for a performance. The way other girls look does not diminish or heighten her looks. She is who she is completely independent of anyone else and her face, and the faces of her brothers, are the faces that make me happiest. Beauty comes in many shapes and sizes. One doesn't have to be model material to be beautiful to me. One of the most beautiful people I ever knew was the pastor's wife at my church as a teen. She was elderly and heavyset in a grandmotherly way. She was the sweetest, most loving person and she had a way of making every person who knew her feel like the most important person in the world. She had a huge effect on me as a teen. My dd and I also point out "beauty" in other people as well. Walking along we might say we like a woman's hair or eyes or talk about the lovely demeanor of a friend or acquaintance or the amazing stage presence of a performer we are watching. I think it is important for her to know there are many ways to see beauty and most of them go deeper than appearance.

**UPDATE in post #25** I was reading the stories of people being sad or not feeling like celebrating during the holidays so thought I would share my story... Backstory: My husband's parents have both passed away and most of his family live 8 hours away (we visit them for Thanksgiving). My family lives far away and aren't speaking to me anyway, something I spent over a year being depressed about but cannot take any more ignored invitations so have stopped trying (it's been 3+ years). This time of year always makes me sad. No large family gatherings and my kids are older, the fun of little ones is over, gifts are small and practical, and they mostly know what they are getting. I decorate, bake, and put on a smile for my kids, especially dd who loves the holiday. A little over a month ago, we were visiting a single friend, divorced with adult kids who have all moved far away, and she was telling me how sad she feels being alone during the holidays. Even though I have my immediate family, I miss the fun of an extended family celebration so I invited her to stay a long weekend and celebrate Christmas with us. She agreed and we made plans to add some of her "family" traditions in with ours and celebrate. Then a couple weeks ago, a neighbor a few houses down asked middle ds to help with her husband in the beginning stages of Alzheimers. (Ds has shoveled snow and cleaned gardens for her in the past.) The husband was tired of being stuck at home all day with only his wife and was upset he no longer had his driver's license. Ds takes him "out" once a week now. They go to Home Depot, do any shopping he'd like to do, sit and talk over coffee at Starbucks, etc… Both he and ds enjoy the outings. Originally neighbor offered to pay ds hourly for this but he refused so she gives him enough to cover their coffee. This couple never had children and I thought they might be alone for Christmas, so I encouraged ds to invite them for Christmas dinner. He called the wife the other night and while he was sitting next to me talking to her on the phone, his eyes filled with tears. He got off the phone and said she told him they had just made plans to eat Christmas dinner at a restaurant but she was "so honored" to be asked to a Christmas dinner because they "had never been asked to a Christmas dinner before" (the reason for ds and then my tears when he told me) and were always lonely during the holidays. She called me later to offer to bring something for dessert and was so excited she just kept talking and talking and the joy in her voice was evident. It is not like me to offer invitations to other people especially people I barely know like these neighbors or this friend who is a relatively new friend…I don't deal well with even the possibility of rejection. I am not sure what made me feel a strong need to step outside my comfort zone in these situations but I am glad I did. Hopefully we will have a wonderful celebration and make some closer/new friends at the same time. Hoping maybe my story might encourage anyone who knows someone who might be lonely this time of year to visit or give them an invitation if you have the ability.

I have always lived in a very small town or rural area but travel to NYC and Philadelphia regularly. I would love to live in NYC or Washington DC for a short period of time…maybe 6 months, to be able to experience city life and take advantage of all it has to offer in the form of culture, food, museums, etc… I travel to the city now for some of that but have to travel in and out of the city, park, and drive home. It would be nice to live there, travel everywhere on public transportation, and not need to plan around when I need to leave to drive the 3 hours home safely, etc… Where I live now, there aren't even sidewalks and I have to drive at least 30-40 min to get to anything except grocery shopping. In NYC, there are very late Irish music sessions my dd would love to attend on every night of the week. Also, there are a lot of smaller museums and events in different cities, I would not go into the city for but if I lived there, I might find the time to visit them. I do prefer quiet country living. I love having land to garden and plant. I like being able to get away from our crazy lives sometimes, too. Oftentimes we are traveling and driving into and out of cities going from one event to another but when I am home, I am away from all that and can relax, weed the garden, sip tea or read a book on the patio, etc…

If the average is $400 (?), that is probably about what we spend per child on curriculum, learning videos/CDs, and school books. Online courses add a bit more to that. I wouldn't really count what I spend on music lessons because I would be spending something on music/sports/extracurricular activities whether she went to school or not…maybe wouldn't have time to do so much with music if she went to school or wouldn't spend so much if she weren't as competent (if her needs could be met locally). I would also still be spending a lot on books for her (and I) to read whether she went to school or not.

Dd listens to music during school but not while doing math. She is usually listening to pieces she is working on learning, so classical generally, killing two birds with one stone so to speak, and after finished schoolwork, she listens to other genres of music while making crafts or reading books.

My dd is interested in anything Irish (and music) so we did a course on -History of the Celts (with videos and books on Celts, Irish legend, and fairytales) -History of Irish Music (again Internet searches, videos on the Internet, and she is slowly working on interviewing Irish musicians and putting them up on her blog…she is getting better and better at the interview thing so learning more now than when she started a couple years ago. Her goal is to have an entire collection of interviews of Irish musicians and their memories of Irish musicians no longer living.) -Will start a free online Irish History Course (1912-1923) available in March. We did a course on geology years ago before and during our trip to Yellowstone and other national parks in the west. My ds used a series of EdX (I think) courses and books to put together a course on sound recording/engineering and is now using his knowledge to record tracks for friends and bands he plays with.

I have been in both but know NYC better since I live on the East Coast. So, I would pick NYC. There is so much to do and I know more people there. I do like the weather, lack on winter, in San Fran and for you, it is closer to family. Not so sure about the difference in cost of living. You could always live slightly outside actual NYC (or SF?) and commute in easily.

I love spritz….especially with almond extract added to the mix. :drool:

I thought someone here might be interested in this free online Irish History course provided through Trinity College in Dublin. It covers Ireland's history from 1912-1923. **edited to add tags

No stocking. I do get them a special treat. Nothing fancy. Our dogs like to chase wrapping paper balls and tear them apart.

My day consisted of working with dd on math, washing dogs and their blankets, finishing up laundry, cleaning basement (ugh, that was work), taking dd to violin lesson, then doing a little Christmas shopping before coming home to finish up the cleaning of basement before pulling together some leftovers and cleaning out the freezer to make dinner. I got a lot done.

I have an (in pencil) plan through high school…more of an overview with lots of ideas. It's constantly changing but I am still an unreformed planner. I feel better that way.

Not athletics, but we are on the road a lot (usually both weekend days and often for a long weekend or a week at a time) and dd spends a large part of her day practicing music. We do a lot of car-schooling, some online classes if they have an option to watch later (don't have to be done at a particular class time), but most of her schoolwork is book work and some DVDs or CDs (usually Teaching Company classes). We are trying hard to not do a get-er-done approach because her learning is important to her as well. It is challenging and sometimes she is doing school on weekends or late at night because that's when we have time. Looking forward to her goals for high school and having a hard time figuring out how we will get it all done.

So throughout the whole episode I am thinking…but Darryl and others are still out there with that huge rocket launcher and can save them…and then they hit trouble, too…like there isn't enough trouble going on inside the town. So, Morgan is okay with body slamming Carol? The wolf's life matters more than hers? I don't understand why they put down the guns. There were at least two of them with guns to take the guy out. Did they really think he would let the medic go and just leave without harming someone? I thought he'd take a gun and shoot everyone, personally. And Sam? Really, you are going to start talking to your mom in that situation? It isn't like he is a 3 year old. Someone will die and it better not be Carl or Michonne. I don't understand why they didn't chop off some walker jaws and keep them on leashes like Michonne did in the beginning of her time on the show or think of the walker blood costumes earlier…to get someone to the vehicle/RV and lead all the walkers away from the wall in the first place.

Exactly, 13 is not young at all. It is Irish music so more than two "songs" (tune sets are generally 4-6 min each) and a full performance involves talking to the audience between tune sets explaining the history of tunes played and some additional banter but dd is more than adept at being in front of an audience as are many musicians her age.

I think you are probably right. Over the years, the very few musicians we have had difficulty with have been "local" musicians with an over-inflated sense of their own abilities. We have met so many great musicians who have been very encouraging and wonderfully supportive. They involve dd in the planning and arranging of performances and they listen to her ideas as one of them. We are working on finding another venue and our friend is letting his club know the reasons why so the church will know. If the music director had brought her ideas to all of us in a "what do you think" way rather than with an arrogant, I can do this better, take-it-or-leave attitude then we (kids, friend, and I) would have gladly had a discussion and possibly figured out a compromise. We were doing them a favor for their fundraiser but she made it seem like they were helping dd out "allowing" her to perform there. (The woman has obviously not done her research and looked at my kids' website to see their schedule and where they are performing.)

We are visiting relatives over Thanksgiving and taking our dogs (out of necessity) but found a rental through AirB&B that allows pets rather than staying in their homes with our animals.

While in Ireland last month, the discussion on the radio in Donegal was about how many thousands of people were on waiting lists and not able to receive necessary treatment for illnesses like cancer. Those who could afford to travel and stay in major cities for the entire time of treatment/chemo were having to do it but they were discussing how difficult this was on families, people unable to work while receiving treatments causing more hardships for them, and how many people were going without care or waiting too long for care due to lack of specialists in the area. Very sad. Socialized medicine may be an answer but it has its problems as well.

As a fundraiser for his club, a friend wanted a night of Irish music featuring my dd and ds to showcase young talent because his club raises funds for groups that help children (trying not to name the club). I suggested another talented, local, young sister duo to open the show and an Irish dancer who also plays flute (not as young as the others but absolutely amazing...world championship and ex-Riverdance dancer) to help round out the show. I gave them a quote on fees at a discount because it was for a friend and for a fundraiser. The club was agreeable to the suggestions and went about finding a venue. Friend brings the idea to a church another club member attends. They agree to host the event at their church and we start discussions for a date...then the music director of the church gets involved and wants to take over, completely cutting out ds, the other sibling duo, and the dancer, leaving only dd, not to do the whole show but to do a couple tunes, and bringing in an adult harp group and singer for the "real" show because she thinks it is impossible for a 13 year old to happily perform music for an hour long performance "no matter how talented she is." (Personally, I know a number of 13 year olds who would have no difficulty with this.) My dd has been happily doing performances of this length and longer since she was seven and does so very regularly. Friend says music director was very arrogant and insulting toward all kids involved as if they could not provide good entertainment even though she has never met any of them or heard them play and she complained about the fees quoted. Why is it that world class, professional musicians understand my dd better than local music people?

For me, whether it is family or not, when I have tried to keep the lines of communication open and been rejected, I tend to stop trying and let it go quietly. I don't like to see friendships end but I am not one to continue if I feel like it is one-sided. I also do not get along with my sister. We are too different. For years I tried to maintain a relationship with her…not besties or anything but called, sent gifts, visited but it always seemed one-sided because she would not make any effort to reciprocate so a few years ago I stopped initiating contact (she lives far away from me). Sometimes she claims to want a relationship so I try but then she stops communicating or does something that is very not friendly so I stop trying and wait for her to claim she wants a relationship again. She's my sister so I will listen if she wants to talk (which is rare unless she is in her "I want a relationship" phase) but I have stopped sharing anything with her and at this point, would not initiate contact with her. It always seems she wants a relationship when she wants something from me and I am not playing her game anymore. My other criteria, when I will end a friendship without regrets, is when someone acts repeatedly in a way that is painful to one or more of my kids. One or two issues, I would try to work out but if we've talked about things and the person knows where I stand but continues the behavior, I avoid them. I don't like conflict so I have never had it out with someone but when I feel like the relationship is not healthy, I avoid.

Oldest ds realized in preschool that no one else read so he would not read to his preschool teacher. We did talk a lot about the different people having different strengths. For my youngest, who always home schooled with her brothers, I am not exactly sure. From her point of view, I think she was always trying to catch up with her older brothers and didn't see herself as ahead. With schoolwork, she always wanted materials that didn't look "babyish" which, to her, meant no cartoons. When she learned to read at 3yo, everyone around her was reading so she didn't view it as being accelerated. She still, even at 13, thinks she is bad at math because she works hard at it and she doesn't realize the average 13 year old is not doing Algebra 2 (according to the normal sequence in our area she will be halfway finished high school math before she even gets into high school but since she has never been to school, it isn't something she thinks about). I know with her music, she never really compared herself to kids her age but to everyone, adults included especially with her Irish music, because she spent a lot of time playing in sessions that mainly consisted of men in their 40's and older. I think she works so hard because she is trying to improve herself based on things she thinks she needs to improve to sound like her ideal rather than comparing herself with other people.

The premise was that more and more walkers were being trapped in the pit either by heading that way or being drawn by the noise of other walkers. They just happened to stumble upon the pit accidentally at a time when so many walkers were moving and the trucks barring their way out of the pit and towards Alexandria were going to be pushed out of the way leaving a path free for all those walkers toward Alexandria so Rick's idea was to get there first and open it but draw them away from town rather than waiting however long for the truck barrier to give then having no way to get rid of all those walkers coming right at them.

I agree with all this. This entire season has not been very good. Sure, lots of dying and action but nothing has happened and people are really acting stupid. All the people left have been in a zombie infested world for...what? two years? and don't know how to survive. How in the heck have they had enough insulin to last long enough to keep that girl alive? Why were those people and Daryl so cryptic anyway? I watched the episode and still didn't understand what was going on. It had better of been Glen's voice or I just might stop watching the whole show. They can't kill off Glen.

Independent practice for my dd was not something that happened all at once….one day I was there and the next she was to practice independently. She was taught practice techniques during lessons and slowly given responsibility for different parts of her practice regimen until by last year at 12yo she was completely independent in all her practicing…though she still likes to play her pieces for me and show me what she worked on. Initially, for example around age 8, she was responsible for her review pieces, then she took over scales and etudes, then eventually her new material…all over the course of a couple years except on days I worked (2 days a week) when she did all her practices alone then played her pieces for me when I got home. Dd has always been very mature for her age and self motivated especially when it came to her music but even so, at 8 years old, there were still times when she needed me to help her remember specific technique skills, help her work out how to make something easier to practice, or sometimes to simply to sit in and listen. I always sat in on lessons until last year, when she was 12yo, because the school where she took lessons that year did not allow parents to be in the room and it was probably the year she learned/progressed the least though most likely because she was with a student teacher who did not know how to challenge her and not because I wasn't in the room. This year I am in the room because there is no where else for me to be but I read a book while she takes a lesson.