EM, I won't quote you as you asked but first I want to say that I answered the question from a Christian perspective. I am not well-versed in the intricacies of Judaism so it would be difficult to me to say what legalism is like in that faith. In Christianity your goal is to go to heaven and be with God. In order to do that you must be saved. What does it take to be saved? That's the main issue. Those are the issues that are NOT part of legalism. Anything added to that list that isn't supposed to be there is legalism. Judaism has a goal as well. What does your faith say it takes to reach that goal? That is not legalism. But if someone then comes along and adds a bunch of stuff to the requirements that are not ACTUALLY requirements but they try to convince everyone that they are... That is legalism. The same applies to Islam, Buddhism, etc. They all have a goal. A non-faith example: I am a principal. At my school there is a list of graduation requirements. It is in the handbook. If I get hired and I suddenly start telling everyone that there are other things they need to do to graduate, things I think SHOULD be in the handbook, but none of those things ARE in the handbook or approved by the board then those things are legalistic. So a definition of legalism will look different to different faiths. .

Love it. :iagree:

Legalism is turning a rib issue into a spine issue. Spine issues are those that affect your salvation... Like the deity of Christ. If you say you do not believe Jesus was/is God's son then you are not a Christian. Period. A rib issue would be like head covering. It is a PERSONAL conviction... Not a salvation issue but some people/churches/denominations take a rib issue and blow it out of proportion until it becomes a spine issue. I grew up in one of those churches. They had a booklet called "The 29 Prominent Teachings". I imagine when it was first written it was supposed to be a guideline for Christian behavior but as I was growing up it became 29 ways to end up in hell. Like don't go to R rated movies. Probably good advice for Christians but it was taught to us like anyone who goes to an R rated movie is going to hell. :glare: Most sentences that end with "or you will go to hell" are usually a form of legalism. :tongue_smilie: .

My father was born in 1950 and he could build a car or a house from the ground up. My dh was born in 1968 and he can too.

All I can say is that if you HAD gone the other route... Chosen the career path instead of the SAHM path... You would be having these same doubts about whether or not you made the right decision. The bummer is that we only get to do life once so you have to choose a path and start walking. Both paths are good paths but you really can only do one so the other one will always have that "glow of the unknown". Ask me how I know. :glare:

Congrats!!!!!!!!!!

Criminal? :lol::lol::lol: Sorry. I couldn't resist. :D

This week it is: Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks .

:iagree: Malaysia is a "no tipping" society and it shows in the horrid customer service.

When I waitressed I made $2.50 an hour plus tips and I was taxed 10% whether I made that or not and I had to share tips with the bartender and the busboys and the hostesses. I was NOT getting rich and I worked my butt off.

:lurk5: This ought to be fun.

I can't say why that is. All I know is that my friend is heaven now because someone was "rude" enough to walk into her hospital room and pray for her. It is possible that she could have rejected this person, yelled at them, gotten offended, etc. But to this person it was worth the risk and I am eternally grateful to him wherever he is. .

I didn't care either way so I left it up to dh.

Well put. .

Ummm... No I would not. :001_huh:

Oh you poor thing. Ugh, I hate lice. :grouphug:

Holy moly, did we go to the same church???? I'd have to add no movie theaters or bowling alleys and no swimming in mixed company and no make up or jewelry to the list. :glare: .

:iagree:

A very close friend of mine who died from cancer at age 29 just 6 weeks after giving birth to her first child did accept Christ just days before she died because a complete stranger walked into her hospital room and prayed for her. Even though she had "heard" the gospel many times before in life, it was that moment that did it for her. Many people are aware of Jesus but still do not come to faith until years later. You never know the moment when God will change someone's heart. So we will have to agree to disagree on this because I am grateful for that "rude" stranger. .

Yep that's me. Although I usually refer to myself as "the glue". We moved here and the first Thanksgiving we were gone, the rest of my family in the states did NOT get together for dinner for the first time in my life. I asked my mom' "why didn't you all have dinner together like always?" she said "You weren't here." I was like :001_huh: Then I realized, I am ALWAYS the one who organizes the dinner: where, what time, who brings what. Without me there the whole thing just fell apart! They did the same thing at christmas and easter until my brothers called me complaining and I had to actually scold them all! This year I helped them plan christmas dinner from the other side of the world. Sheesh.... .

:D You get two enthusiastic thumbs up on this idea. Oh hubby.... where are you? :leaving:

I think that God has gifted some people to be teachers and pastors and that if they are qualified according to the bible and following God's ways according to the bible then an actual "call" from God is unnecessary. Look at the qualification for elders according to the bible: 1 Timothy 3:1-7 It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of elder, it is a fine work he desires to do. An elder, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?), and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil It seems that it is biblically acceptable to "aspire" and "desire" to be an elder. As long as that is your particular gifting (meaning skill set) and you are qualified according to the verses above, you don't need a special "word from God" in order to move forward with it. When things go awry is when people who are not qualified or not honest with themselves about their particular skill set try to force themselves to fit that role. Or try to do it for less-than-God-honoring reasons. Yes God did "call" certain people in the bible to do certain special tasks (like calling Moses to lead the Israelites out of slavery) but I do not think that is the norm in every day life. Some people like to say they were called or not called, lead or not lead by God, etc. as a way of: 1. pawning off their bad decisions on God 2. refusing to make a decision and blaming God for it 3. appearing "more spiritual" than those who have not been "called" As christians we are ALL "called" to follow the ways of God. This book is an excellent resource: Just Do Something: How to Make a Decision Without Dreams, Visions, Fleeces, Open Doors, Random Bible Verses, Casting Lots, Liver Shivers, Writing in the Sky, etc http://www.amazon.com/Just-Do-Something-Decision-Without/dp/0802458386/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1326528381&sr=1-3 People often ask me if I was "called" to be a principal in a christian missionary school. My answer? Not really. But I felt like God would be honored if I used the skill set he gave me to honor him. I hope that is good enough. .

My amah does. :D I personally think that Americans especially have a knee-jerk reaction when it comes to the idea of "servants" because of our past with slavery. It's like we are trying to put so much distance between our present and our checkered past that we think ANY kind of "service" career is wrong, bad, inhumane, etc. Should those who work as janitors, maids, cleaning ladies, nannies, chauffeurs, etc. be ashamed of themselves and their job? And if we all decided on principle to not pay anyone for these services and do it all ourselves somehow so we could be more noble, are we comfortable with putting all those people out of work? I have seen both sides. My brother works as a maintenance guy/janitor. He enjoys his work and feels like he is contributing in his way. He does not have a college degree and honestly, does not have the academic aptitude to try. That is just life. He accepts it and he has found a way to work hard, earn a paycheck, and feel good about himself. He likes his life and does not aspire to have mine. It took a while for me to accept it but now I get it. .

then you will love this show for sure!

I am sitting here watching reruns of season 1 and besides all the obvious reasons to love this show (beautiful characters, scenery, costumes, writing, etc.), I realized I love this show because it shows the career of "servant" as one of dignity and respect. I love the way the servants (most of them) approach their job as a career and put their entire effort into it. They pride themselves on being proper and dignified and even within the group of servants, the less-experienced servants show respect to the servants in charge like Carson. I am watching the episode when Matthew first comes to Downton and refuses to allow Mosely to help him at all... like he is somehow a better person for "not accepting" the help of the servant. In reality, he insulted Mosely and made him feel useless and disrespected. It reminds me of the househelp here. New expats arrive every year and say things like "Oh I could never hire an amah or a gardner" like it is a terrible thing to do (I remember thinking the same thing). In reality, for many of the locals it is the only way they can earn money, so by refusing to hire one "on principle" they are actually depriving someone of a job. Our amah is not some slave we treat horridly. She does an excellent job, takes great pride in her work, and we pay her well for it. It just so happens that over time we have also built a relationship with her that goes beyond employee but even if we had not, she would still do a good job because this is her career and she wants to do it well. I really, really like that show. .