I've never used marijuana [or alcohol or nicotine] in any form. DH has not either. In general we have worked from a complete abstinence zero tolerance policy with our children (at least while they are living in our home, driving vehicles we own or pay the insurance for, receiving any financial support from us, etc). I realize that some on this forum may feel our philosophy is draconian but we both feel very strongly that developing brains are particularly vulnerable to the effects of drugs. In this context I really don't think it is "just pot" or "just alcohol". Personally even with mature brains I feel that the risk-benefit ratio is skewed far enough to the risk side that I don't find it worthwhile to experiment. Others may interpret the data differently and that is fine as long as they make their choices in a way that others are not placed at risk.

Can you define "interesting" in the context you're using it?

Has your pediatrician evaluated for/considered the possibility of absence seizures, or ADD? Fatigue and sleep deprivation can make both conditions worse so at least screening by history for sleep disorders (and then pursuing further evaluation if indicated) is also reasonable. Good luck!

I didn't vote because I don't have sufficient perspective to have a valid opinion as I'm not familiar with all of the curriculum choices. Of the ones I am familiar with, I think they are all a bit lacking in rigor for science and secondary mathematics. Of course, depending on student/family goals and philosophies this may not be perceived as much of a problem (perhaps it truly isn't a problem---I admit I probably have some bias as I am a physician so I have a bit of a science background myself and the majority of our children at least think they aspire to do something where a strong science and math background will be necessary).

With more information about your situation I have to say I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I agree with others that you [ideally a collective you including your DH in the equation] need a plan to work your way out of this. It looks like you're probably about $2,500-3,000 below budget for the year baring some kind of a money requiring crisis. Unfortunately this deficit will likely only increase a bit exponentially if you don't have a plan to change your situation. The suggestions about negotiating with credit card companies and robbing from Peter to pay Paul may be temporary stopgap solutions while you are putting something better together for the long term. Unfortunately if you don't put something better together for the long term then these solutions will likely just leave you in a worse situation overall. I understand your desire to homeschool and have one parent home with the kids. I think if parents can work this it can be ideal and there are various ways that this can work. Is your husband involved with schooling at all? I think as women we sometimes buy into the societal message that child rearing and educating is our job but I really think we do our kids a disservice when we don't at least consider which parent is best suited to various roles at different times. My husband and I both work "part time" (at least by our industry standards---I'm a physician, he is an attorney). He actually probably works about thirty hours a week outside of the home (time spent in his out of home office, meeting with clients, attending corporate board meetings etc) but also usually manages another fifteen hours a week at home. He actually makes much more money now working "part time" than he did working as a prosecutor. I realize that may raise other societal issues but at the end of the day he has to do what is best for our family. Hopefully we're raising our children in a way that they can be part of the change they need to see in the world. I can't exactly bring my work home (at least not physically sometimes the emotional stuff follows but I've developed a good decompression approach) but I do CME and keeping up with certifications on my own time when the kids are asleep or otherwise engaged. Because we both work we divide up teaching, parenting, and house/garden responsibilities based on our own abilities, interests, desires, and times. More than ninety five percent of the time one of us can be home with the kids and we're blessed with family nearby who step in for those schedule nightmare moments. We pay that forward in various ways within and outside of the family and it works for us. I realize that you may read this and think this isn't applicable to your situation but I think the partnership approach in all senses of the word may be the most helpful to you and your husband. I also realize that it can be hard to communicate when everything else is hard. We have not always excelled at this as a couple. We struggled to grieve together after the death of our daughter and it was often very hard for us to come together. Ultimately we accepted that we loved each other and our children too much to give up and we figured out how to communicate better and thus support each other better. One final thought, reading your posts I wonder if your husband is struggling with depression (perhaps secondarily to his inability to find reliable work). I realize it's tempting for many posters to suggest that he needs to just go out and get another job but if he is dealing with depression this may be a big impediment.

I think a lot of this depends on what your goal is. If your [or ideally your daughter's goal that you are trying to facilitate] goal is for your daughter to become a proficient equestrian then she does need to be riding with some regularity to develop and maintain muscle memory. On the other hand if your daughters are intrigued with the idea of horses---most girls do at some point go through a horse phase to some extent, and just want to start off with a horse experience and see where it takes them I think the timing and frequency is less important. Most good riding programs will not let kids ride outside of lessons until they have reached a certain level of proficiency. When I let our kids ride in between lessons [we have our own horses and a family stable] when they were younger DH or I were always around so it was either just another less formal lesson with mom or dad or they were riding because we were riding recreationally as a family and horses were selected with their competence and experience level in mind. In those cases I didn't nitpick on form but I certainly addressed any potential safety issues in short order. Another thought if finances are tight and your goal is a horse experience and then determining from there where to go is to investigate if you have any local equine 4-H clubs. DH and I would certainly consider allowing a responsible child in the equine 4-H club our girls are involved with to work through a horse project using one of our horses. There are a lot of liability issues to consider here and I think it is the kind of thing that would be done on a case by case basis and not immediately overnight but that is a thought as well. If our nine year old foster daughter had stayed with her original foster parents we had already planned to offer her the option of joining the 4-H club here and using one of our horses in January. We had actually planned to mention it and offer it to her foster parents (before we had mentioned it to her of course) when they collected her from the respite placement they never collected her from. She ended up staying with us so the idea became irrelevant. -

I'm sorry you [and your husband] are struggling with this. :grouphug: Perhaps you have already tried this, but if you haven't, you may want to consider if CBT could be helpful. It can take some time to learn [and sometimes more time to be able to use in the moment] but in the end the enhanced coping skills usually persist and improve function overall. Our thirteen year old benefited immensely from a CBT variant [TF-CBT specifically] to treat her PTSD. I hope things improve for everyone soon. Best wishes!

Our daughter is at her gym's routine retreat getting her new floor routine. She texted me today while I was at work that she is using two of my favorite yoga positions in her routine and she can't wait to show me the whole thing. She sounded so excited and I'm thrilled for her. Floor has been her Achilles heel since L9. She tumbles well but always looked like she was drowning out there. It was painful for us to watch but she insisted she wanted to continue competing and she wanted to do all around. I realize that many non gym moms reading this may say that they would have never let her continue when she was so miserable. Perhaps even a few gym moms might insist that they wouldn't either. Although many people presumed it was because she was so young and pushed so hard [perhaps by some standards she was young she did her first L10 meet right before her 12th birthday] but her goals and dreams were internal and we had no external gymnastics expectations for her. So much of this was that she had no self confidence and life was just very hard in general during this period. We talked repeatedly about taking breaks, not competing floor, and so many things in between. We came to understand that the gym was one place where life made sense and swinging bars was at least as grounding as any of the exercises her therapist came up with. In the end we and the head coach at her gym decided to trust her to know herself. Her floor routine was pretty basic and mostly tumbling both of her first two years at L10. She lost points for her lack of artistry [which led to other comments from other "helpful" people about how she clearly needed different/better coaches] but her tumbling and her strength on her other events allowed her to do well enough overall. She has grown a lot in the almost four years we have known her. She is still a bit more fragile than her dad or I would like for her but she has come so far and she has worked so hard. We recently finalized her adoption and we really believe that her best years are still ahead of her. I can't wait to see her new floor routine.

We've done treatment/medically fragile foster care since my husband found it was the easiest and best legal way to raise the son of one of his best friends after his death. The foster care program we've worked with has been amazing and supportive. They have helped us adapt to be the kind of parents that the kids we have brought into homes have needed and probably overall better parents. They also have a great interdisciplinary team approach and a strong parent to parent mentoring program. I'm not sure we would be able to do what we have done with the support of this program. Although the program we have worked with is not a foster to adopt program we have just adopted our first child through this program and are planning to adopt the two other little girls we have in our home now. My husband's godson also aged out of this program in our family and remains connected to our family today. His son considers my husband his grandpa and that feels right for all involved (even though adoption didn't feel right when he was in his teens and we respected that). One thing we have always tried to do is look at what is in the best interest of the child in the context of our family. We've also looked at our resources (emotional, financial, labor, etc) and tried to ensure that we are not setting up a situation that will max and tax these resources. These are things I would consider everyone to consider when considering another child. I wish you and your husband the best in your search.

My OB was willing to induce between forty and forty two weeks. She didn't like to induce before that unless there was some evidence of fetal compromise (and in general in many of those cases you're better off just getting the baby out with a c-section rather than inducing). She also liked to induce by forty two weeks because she felt that the risks increased significantly after this point. Although out of my field, as a physician I didn't disagree with her, so, I was scheduled to be induced exactly at forty two weeks with our last daughter. I ended up going into labor about twenty four hours before my scheduled induction. Ultimately, you have to do what you feel is right for your baby, however, if you're comfortable being induced at forty two weeks if you go that far then you might offer to schedule your induction for then. That might assure your OB that that he won't just be continually debating induction and he may feel more comfortable with the plan.

With the caveat that I have no personal experience with this, I would not recommend this strategy. In general I think you are always better off working with the original creditors. In the scheme above the agency is banking that when you default on your account it will go to collections and this will give them leverage to negotiate with the collection agency.

Just so I understand, is she not allowed to do swim team and just swim? Or do you mean she won't even do a racing dive to get into the pool at the start of her race so that would make it hard to compete in any events beyond the backstroke.

Most elective splenectomies can now be done laparoscopically which makes the recovery much simpler. The surgeon should be able to discuss the specifics of this of course. The biggest long term concern post splenectomy is the increased risk of infection and sepsis. Encapsulated organisms (especially Strep pneumoniae) are the most likely culprits If he hasn't already had the Hib series, Pneumonia vaccines (both PCV-13 and PPV-23) and Meningitis Conjugate vaccines he should have these at least two weeks prior to his surgery. His doctor will likely also recommend that he get booster doses of the Meningitis Conjugate and PPV-23 five years after his initial dose. Since Strep pneumoniae is often seen as a complication of influenza infections they will also likely recommend he have the flu vaccine annually. The post splenectomy infection risk is much lower in adults than children but it will be important that he have all signs of infection and fever evaluated promptly because of his increased risk for sepsis.

Our thirteen year old is gearing up for another season of L10. Ironically she is a bars girl they are her favorite (even if not always my favorite to watch). Our three year old started last winter in the pre-school class that her big sister helps with and enjoys it. She is also a bit of a fish though and loves to swim so I'm not sure if the pool will win out over the gym down the road. Or maybe she'll end up another soccer brat--yes, I say that with endearment.

Our three year old (who will turn four in December) and five year old have mastered most of the kindergarten math content just by being children in our family. We cook as a family so they both have a rough understanding of fractions from that. There is lots of counting, grouping, (and adding and subtracting) that happen as part of every day life. They both have good number recognition and are working on writing numbers. The five year old has made some major strides even just in the past month in this area. I have been working with her a little but more in a let's avail ourselves of another good teaching moment here way not in seatwork from a set curriculum way. I will admit that how well this has come together for her tempts me to try to homeschool them both in kindergarten this year but she seems to think that kindergarten looks fun so I think we will be sending her.

Is your pediatrician willing to prescribe two Epi-Pens while you are awaiting the allergist appointment. I would ask for that. Please also remember that if he does use the Epinephrine then he should activate EMS/ go to the ED. Further treatment is often needed.

If they were four (about to be five) before kindergarten then they would be six (about to be seven) before second grade. Also private schools may have different cut offs than public schools. Our oldest started in a private school that was happy to take her when she was "too young" to start by state cut-offs. In all other ways she was ready to be off to school so we went ahead and enrolled her. [We had selected the private school because we thought it was the best educational opportunity for her at the time based on other opportunities and our lives as they were then. We didn't specifically pick private school to get around the state cut off.]

We'll pray here as well.

SKL-- I’m sorry you have had a stressful last twenty four hours. Hugs. :grouphug: *I will admit that I do get nervous if I see young children left unattended in cars. Our ED has treated several children for automobile related heat stroke this summer. Fortunately we have not had any fatalities so far this year, but we have had at least two children with poor neurologic outcomes as a result of hyperthermia, in spite of all of our best efforts as physicians. Obviously if all other things are equal the risk of this is greater when the outside temperature is higher. However, since all other things are not always equal, children have died when outside temperatures were in the sixties.* For the record, I am not sharing the above as an indictment of SKL’s parenting but rather because of some of the tone that automobile related heat stroke is over hyped. From my experiences as a physician, I would not say that this (or accidental drowning) are over hyped.

We're still a bit torn on this. She seems to think she wants to go so we're leaning towards letting her try it. They do have room in the part time/part day program so we aren't looking at a lot of hours.

I'm sending a lot of hugs. :grouphug:

This can be true and I suppose I do worry a little about this because our daughter's university of choice is challenging and rigorous [but she truly believes a good fit for her personality and goals and her dad and I trust her to make this decision] so I would expect their introductory chemistry and physics courses to be challenging. Due to scheduling issues, she is also embarking on her major core sequence in her freshman year perhaps with less background than she needs. Her faculty adviser feels that she will be fine. She is planning to re-evaluate after a few weeks of classes where she really is and if she needs to drop some courses and pursue them later in her educational adventure. I think she has the maturity to make a good assessment of this so her dad and I are stepping back and letting her do this.

We have the Welch-Allyn wall mounted otoscope/opthalmoscope units in our ED. Our ED (and I see the same sizes in most physician offices I've been in over the years) commonly stocks 2mm and 4mm disposable tips. I use the 2mm for babies and smaller children and the 4mm for bigger kids and adults. I basically just instinctively go for the size I think will be appropriate, occasionally I have changed to a larger or smaller tip if I realize once I start to visualize the tympanic membrane that my view is obstructed by inappropriate speculum size. This can happen with too large or too small tips. [From a physician mom who still has the diagnostic pocket otoscope/opthalmoscope she had to buy as a medical student but never uses it at home.]

If you are the listing agent for a home you do not make any money until the home sells. Hence, it is in your best interest to be available and to accommodate the schedule of potential buyers of the homes you are listing.

How long has he been with his new parents? I agree for looking for a therapist comfortable with addressing grief, loss, and attachment issues. I also would wonder if there was abuse in the prior foster homes. The overreaction to accidentally breaking a glass questions whether other accidents were "punished" in a way that others might define a bit differently.