we resolved this by doing a cost analysis. we looked at the price of electricty and how much each kind of bulb used and how long before those numbers met. it became pretty obvious pretty quickly that with the cost of electricity for us at that time, it was cost effective to throw out the incandescent bulbs and switch. (it moved us down into a different cost tier, so really worth it!) nevertheless, we left an incandescent bulb in my nighttable lamp for years before i was ready to let it go. hth, ann

i am so sorry. :grouphug: i googled "help for failis of prisoners" and several things came up. i think starting with one will lead you to others, kwim? eg. http://www.afoi.org/ i liked the preamble for this next one http://www.prisontalk.com/ The PrisonTalk Online web community was conceived in a prison cell, designed in a halfway house, and funded by donations from families of ex-offenders, to bring those with an interest in the prisoner support community a forum in which their issues and concerns may be addressed by others in similar circumstances and beliefs. Inside the PTO web community you will be able to find support from others who are dealing with, or have been down the same dark road you may currently find yourself, information resources & tools to aid your in achieving your goals, and most importantly, a place to communicate and share your stories. There is no worse feeling than that of being alone and helpless. This applies to the families of those who are incarcerated just as much as it does to those behind the walls. PTO's goal is to bridge the communication barrier that exists in and around the criminal "justice" system today and bring everyone in the prisoner support community closer together to effect change in policy, prisoner rights, sentencing and so much more. hth, ann

we just got new credit cards from our company. they didn't ask us, they just did it. it will be work to switch payment plans out, but it will be good to not worry. i like that better than monitoring. ann

littlebug, i am so sorry you had that experience! yikes! our experience was the opposite of yours, in almost every aspect. ie. it can be different. like any job, i guess there are good ones, and the other kind. hugs, ann

:grouphug: knowledge is better than ignorance..... but not always as comfortable. we had amnio's done due to my age (i was 10 years older than you when dd#4 was born). we did meet with a genetics councellor and that helped. she knew which tests were most accurate, and which labs, too. off to read about the PANORAMA test. ann

praying. it is a hard thing to see them so sick. ann

as i reread the answers, i think maybe i might change mine.... what might happen if her gift met with grace? if we could all look past the could have/should have's and saw a mother's longing to do something WITH her children and their spouses? then, it might be possible to swap babysitting, and go to dinner locally, with theater put off until later. mil would have time with her children and their spouses. good food would be eaten. it could become one of those memory-making times. i think i like this approach much better than what i initially suggested. not that all the selfish comments might not be true, but its us who get to choose the frame we put around a picture, and i like this frame better; it changes the whole picture. :grouphug: ann

it sounds much more like a pick-up line to me. time in a car with your daughter is precious; i'd focus on enjoying it. fwiw, ann

what would happen if you said, "you know how much mary (other dil) and i love theater. but with us both being pregnant, sitting for any length of time isn't so possible for either of us. and then of course, we aren't going to want to leave our babies the first few months either. i found this wonderful stroller, and dh and i wondered if you would consider getting it instead/putting the theater money towards the stroller. in a few years, i will be dying to go to the theater with you."... or your dh could say it. re dh's comment: in the moment, he'll remember. it sounds to me as if he were trying to make you feel better. :grouphug: ann

it might be worth a call to yamaha, too. (its not as if you have anything else to do, like, moving or anything....) fwiw, ann

:grouphug: :grouphug: so sorry.... that's how it went with my db, too. i do think he should be aware of company sexual harrassment guidelines, esp. if he is about to become newly single. fwiw, ann

thank you, thank you, thank you! Hola is a wonderful thing; i wish i had found it way earlier. it was so incredibly simple to install, and use. dc watched S3E1 yesterday. they can hardly wait until next sunday afternoon for the next one! and the olympics are coming.... i have missed them a lot since we gave up commercial tv. very big smile, ann

maize and i were posting at the same time... but the "treating others as I'd like to be treated" question helps me a lot. ann

what would you want him to do if the situation was reversed? ie. if he had seen your husband with another woman. hugs - i went thru this with my brother. it was very hard. ann

if she isn't coming back to the group until you meet with her, i'd, hmmm...., not meet..... i can't see this ending well. but do make sure there is a witness to what is being said. maybe your friend who she has been talking to would agree to do that. if she does, i would copy her on any email that is sent. and i would do it by saying that it isn't really about the two of you, it is about how it is affecting the group. fwiw, ann

when i went thru this, i found getting a few transitional pieces very inspiring. i bought one pair of jeans, one pair of pants, one skirt, one dress for church/outings, and several pretty tops. i did it all at a 70% off sale at sports chalet... just me, several sales racks, and a dressing room. it was quick, easy and painless. another time, i did it all at Ross'. hth, ann

my brother and i tag-team on this, so if there isn't someone who can help, maybe this isn't helpful. with my mom, i just asked, "so mom, have you thought about what you'd like to do when it gets too hard for you to stay here?" (meaning in her home). and she had. and she had ideas. and then i said, "do you remember when great-gram moved into the wexford? how come she picked there instead of the united church home in her neighbourhood/" and my mom, bless her, said, "oh, i talked her into it. it was only two blocks from us so i could visit her regularly, and be there quickly if she needed help." and i said, "that was wise. i'm glad she agreed." and left it at that. six months later, i observed for her as we visited my brother, "what is that building across the street from my brother's house?" "oh, that's a senior's home"... says my mother. "how perfect" i say, and leave it at that. and so it went in six month intervals. two years later, her current plan is to move into the housme across the street from my brother's, which is, as she says "perfect"

oh my goodness that's good news! we'll keep praying! ann

let us know how it was!!! it sounds wonderful :) ann

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: so hard. i'm sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: ann

VSL #3 is what we all use.... here's a link to what is in it and how it works: http://www.vsl3.com/discover.asp we have also discovered that colonizing the gut with good bacteria is a great aid to weight loss :) (an added benefit ;) hth, ann

so glad to hear that the tongue and throat are doing better! in my book, that makes it all worth it. another vote for tapering..... when i'm on it, it is for an extended period of time, and i have trouble sleeping, become irritable, etc, etc, etc. the only good thing about tapering is that i become a nicer person with each and every day ;) i'm glad you are calling the doctor. it seems to me within the realm of possibility that whatever caused the swelling may be causing some of the other stuff, too. (although prednisone is both blessing and curse, and it could be its fault completely, kwim?) hugs ann

i've taken prednisone a lot, and not had that experience. it can take me 24-48 hours to see the effects, but more typically i begin to feel better fairly quickly. i wonder if it would be even worse if you weren't on the prednisone? do you have a pharmacist you can call and ask? i'm sorry :( ann eta: i googled it and it is listed as a possible rare side effect..... have you taken it before?

i am not as gracious as the previous posters. i would be running in the opposite direction, quickly. i have no room for high maintenance friends, either for me or my children. it is remotely possible that she is fine, just desperate. but there will be a reason why she is desperate. i would trust your instincts. fwiw, ann ps. one thing i noted was that it is a group that posts field trips but you've never met her in real life. is this because you don't go on field trips, or she doesn't or ??? it just seems to me that if you have a child looking for friends you go to places where they might meet people.

((((hugs)))) it is so hard to not know. i'd ask your doctor specific questions about studies that have been done on prenatal exposure and what your doctor has concluded about them. meanwhile, i would fall back on some of my tried and true strategies. eg. one of my rules is that anyone who has to sensationalize an argument (or mention a certain german dictator in the mid-20th century) has failed to scientifically make their case. so in the case of the link you gave, just the title of the source you sited was enough for me to close the page. if it is legitimate, it doesn't need to be sensationalized. it is not worse than thalidomide. it isn't even a question. (in the end, i went back and read it. i am trying to find the study that the author was a part of. that might be a good question for your doctor.... what did that study conclude, and what other studies are out there? i found several papers that site the original study, and they appear to be in direction of a possible impact on sexual identity which also doesn't appear to have results that are statistically significant) another thing i use is personal experience. what do i know already about something? or think i know? you have two test cases who live with you now. how are they doing? if they are showing any problematic signs, i would be more concerned than if they appear fine. (its not necessarily a valid approach, but it seems relevant to me) fwiw, i had a doctor try to scare me off taking prednisone during my third pregnancy. it was the only way I had two children. they were then, and are now, healthy. the next two are healthy, too.... and i took prednisone during their pregnancies, too. its not perfect, but its better than the alternative, at least for me (and they assure me they'd rather be here than not ;).... but i did research it thoroughly as a result of his statement, and brought in other doctors to help me decide. blessings, ann