We shouldn't have let them stay. I expected them to follow what ds did when he had it, which is pretty much what we set out with them. Ds did a great job of following our guidelines and making sure we were ok with him coming out of his room. When they didn't, we either should've clarified or sent them to a hotel.

I don't really talk to them, so it mostly goes through dh. It's the first time they've done this and it caught us of guard. I have asked myself over and over when something like this happens, why don't I say something? The thought at the time never crosses my mind. I know I'm angry (or whatever feeling), but I don't act on it very often. I'm trying to change that, to say what I think, but for some reason, it's difficult for me.

All of us are vaccinated. I have my boosters and I think they do, too. Dh doesn't and wanted to get them this week. I told him to wait for a week or so.

He's always been like this, though I think being sick away from home makes it worse.

When we found out they were coming after a cruise, we expected them both to get sick. They told us they've been locked down so long, that they need to live, too. I think it doesn't help that he retired a year ago. He's no longer working in the medical field.

I wasn't sure about being upset about this. In some families, I think it might be normal.

This lays it out very clearly. Thank you.

Yes, bil is older by about 13 years. The brothers aren't close and dh wasn't excited about their visit. The hotel route is a good idea. We should have taken them up on their offer this time. The bolded is very much the case. There's a book sitting by the computer about his pov re: education. I'm sure it's for me as it's a topic that wouldn't interest dh.

I would appreciate other views on this because I really need to change my attitude. Bil and sil told dh they had purchased airline tickets and would be visiting over the long weekend, arriving Thursday night, departing Sunday. They didn't let us know ahead of time or confirm it was a good time for them to visit. I didn't communicate with them at all during this time. They arrived Thursday. We were going to meet at a restaurant before going home. They said bil had a bit of a cough and runny nose, so he wanted to test for Covid before meeting with us. His wife told us in the restaurant he had a fever the night before and they were just getting back from a cruise. He tested positive. They offered to stay at a hotel, but we said they could stay upstairs like our ds had done when he had Covid. We have 3 bedrooms upstairs, but no one uses them unless the kids are home. We just asked the door stay closed, windows stay open, and that everyone in the house mask. I explain I'm leaving in 2 weeks to help my dd move and am concerned about getting sick and not being able to help her. They decide sil should sleep in a different room to hopefully prevent her from getting sick. We live in south central Texas, so the outside temps are between 55* and 80*. Not unmanageable. He has cold symptoms, no big deal, feels fine quickly. Has a hard time staying in his room, but does mask. Insists on loading his dishes in the dishwasher because "it's safer that way", despite me telling him I'd load them. They tell us they won't need to change flights since they were heading home on Tuesday anyway. (We thought they were leaving Sunday.) On Sunday, she gets sick enough to not keep anything down until Wednesday. He takes care of her. She stays in the room with the door closed. Dh takes time off work on Tuesday, but returns to work for the rest of the week. I continue to work. They all eat outside Wednesday and Thursday nights. I had classes on zoom both nights, so didn't have much to do with them and didn't eat with them. Friday she's back to normal and cleans her room and vacuums. She's moving back to bil's room. I come home from work Friday. They're both sitting downstairs, watching TV. No masks and all the windows had been closed. They mask when they see me, so it's clear they aren't masking in the house, but know that I prefer they mask. They eat upstairs and dh and I eat outside because they thought it was too cold to eat outside. It was about 60*. We play cards, everyone masked. While we're playing cards, they say that don't know how they got Covid. I said I thought it was because they were on a cruise likely without good ventilation. They laugh at me and tell me how careful they were being and all the times they spent outside. They only went to a show and ate inside and there were very few people in the rooms when they were inside. I didn't follow up with asking how well ventilated those rooms were. When they start laughing at me or mocking me, I stop participating in the conversation. Today I woke up with a backache, headache, some sniffles. The backache and sniffles are normal. I occasionally wake up with a headache, but it's not common. I tested negative and have no fever. So I'm now isolating at dh's request. I need perspective. Bil is a doctor who knows everything and pretty much ignores other opinions unless he personal can understand and agree with them. One of four conversations I had with him this visit was about why I'm being certified as a teacher installing of continuing to be a sub. I explained I wanted something a little more fulfilling, that I really enjoyed both the school and class and I have the opportunity to keep the class I'm currently teaching. He asked how much more I'd be making as a teacher (told him about double what I'm making now), then again asked why I'm doing the certification and whether we needed the money. I explained we don't need the money, I'm doing it for personal reasons. I think I repeated personal reasons to his why's two more times before I ended the conversation. Another conversation was about the kitchen light that was flashing like a disco ball. I removed it from the socket and left it on the counter while we were playing cards. After cards, he commented we should use led lights. I told him we'd tried them and didn't like them. He said they were less expensive. I said they were too bright. He said they lasted longer. His wife stepped in at that point and agreed they were bright. I'm angry I can't use my house for a second weekend, I'm angry they didn't follow the protocols dh asked them to follow so I wouldn't get sick, I'm angry that the things I perceive as important are laughed at or ignored, mostly by bil. (Regarding the getting sick: I realize I could've picked up something from school. I wasn't masking prior to their visit. I think I'm just frustrated that I couldn't sit and eat or drink anywhere in my house except my bedroom, without masking. Dh goes to bed between 730 and 830, so after he went to bed I either went outside to drink or sat in my car. After 9 hours of work and 3 hours of class, I didn't want to sit and visit. I wanted to drink the water I couldn't during the day because masking, but my home wasn't a safe space.) Tell me if I'm being unreasonable in my frustration. I really need to let go of my anger as it's not productive. Typing this out has helped. The good thing is that I don't have to interact with them anymore before they leave tonight.

I prefer pots without holes because of the leaking potential. I use nursery pots in them. Can you move your bigger plant into another plastic pot, then use the old plastic pot that fits the pot without holes for the smaller plant? Nurseries frequently sell plastic nursery pots. Usually they're inexpensive.

Bil and sil came to visit after a cruise this past Thursday. Flew to visit us, then decided to test. Synptoms started the night before with a brief fever. The fever lasted a few hours, then he only had cold symptoms. Tested positive within 24 hours of symptom onset. They don't know when the exposure occurred, but likely on the 5 day cruise. I'm flying out to help dd move in 2 weeks and doing all I can to avoid getting it!

I have a dd who, from what we could see, was doing fine in college. The transition to living on her own in a different state seemed to go well. However, in college, she sought a diagnosis that she didn't tell us about until after she'd graduated and moved. After she moved, she sought help again. She doesn't share these things with us directly, but they sometimes come out in conversation. Six months after she moved, she had one roommate bail on her mid lease, so she had to find another roommate quickly. That generated a lot of stress and anxiety, but she took measures to handle what happened and learned from it. So when it happened again, she knew how to handle it and what she wanted to do this time. Do I wish she hadn't struggled? Absolutely. However, she learned through her first struggle and came out ahead when the situation repeated itself. I believe at some point, it's ok as an adult when they stop sharing personal info like this. They know they can fall back to us if they need to, but those struggles are what make them stronger and better able to handle other things that come up. I wonder if your son is doing more than what you think. Or he knows what path he will take if things happen again.

I have a 5 year old Bosch I like. As others have mentioned, I really like the flex rack on top. It holds a lot more than just silverware. I like that I can move the second row up or down depending on needs. It's very quiet, so we can watch TV 5 feet away without hearing it. Things I don't like are the tines on the bottom rack. I took dishes with us when we were looking to replace the dishwasher and my Corelle fit without a problem. When I upgraded my dishes, though, they didn't work as well. The other thing I found was that even filling less than of half of the soap dispenser, I ended up with suds in the bottom after the cycle finished. I did some research and found I wasn't the only one with this problem. Changing the detergent and using rinse agents didn't help. Eventually I tried good ole vinegar. I use a ratio of 1:1 with water and haven't had a problem since. The main cycle is over 2 hours long. I think that's too long, but it's due to energy saving. I don't think that's an issue specific to my Bosch.

Which one did you get? I have a dd who would be interested.

Walmart also lost their Tricare contract sometime before November. I didn't know until I asked for the script to be sent to Walmart, hoping to beat the pharmacy closing time. They told me they couldn't use Tricare insurance. I ended up taking it to CVS the next morning.

We opened one gift, always from an out of town giver, Christmas Eve after dinner and looking at lights. Christmas morning, the kids had to wait until 6 or 7, depending on what was decided the day before. They always waited at the top of the stairs before coming downstairs to find their stockings and looking at them together. Someone passed out the gifts, then, starting with the youngest, opened them one at a time. If the cinnamon rolls were ready, we paused to eat them hot, then returned to opening gifts. Growing up, my mom always put the opened gifts under the tree for everyone to enjoy. In dh's family, all the gifts immediately went to the bedrooms. I liked seeing the gifts and watching the kids play with them together.

My in-laws used to live near the world's largest ball of twine. We used to visit it each time we went to see them. http://www.kansastravel.org/balloftwine.htm

and it's a little bittersweet. We have anticipated this year coming last year or the year before, so we've been thankful we had the extra couple of years with all 3 kids home. One dd is here this week and heads back to her home on Monday. Ds is here until just after the first. Our other dd isn't able to come home this year. She called this morning to be part of our Christmas and did her best to be upbeat, but she was struggling. Though she has to work, she will also be by herself over Christmas. Her SO is traveling to his home to be with his family, which she encouraged because she knew she would be working. I'm so thankful they want to come home. I don't know how much longer they will make coming back a priority, but I'll take any time they're willing to give us! (If you have any suggestions to help dd, I would love to hear them. This is her first Christmas away. She'll be working days and nights, so her schedule will be wonky, too, which makes things more difficult. She does have friends she may be able to get together with, but they will also have wonky schedules.)

I think it's easier not to take someone being mean and rude when they're not your parents. We're told to honor our parents from a young age, so when the kids make a split, I think it's likely a bigger chasm, much more personally felt, than an in-law's or acquaintance's decision to be nc. It's too easy to fall back into the same childhood patterns and might not be worth the risk to reform a relationship with the parent. I'm glad you were able to support your ex as he handled her death.

Glad he's not alone. Praying he gets home soon!

I tried for about 6 weeks and finally returned them. I think the prisms in my eyes with my astigmatism made it impossible to see clearly.

Is it possible if FIL is at the hospital so much that the staff will recognize he's not fit to care for MIL? Surely they see how he responds to MIL and the other staff members. I think it's more likely they see the issues, but SIL et al are reassuring the staff both MIL and FIL will be well cared for. It's a hard place to be for everyone, even those in denial.

My dd who just graduated as an MD requested cute compression socks to help with all the standing she does. We found her some Christmas and bright colored socks.

We have the family version of Spotify. DH only listens to his playlist downloaded on his phone. I like it ok, but get frustrated when I put my playlist on shuffle and hear the same song 3 times in 15 min. I joked with ds that the annual list of your most listened to songs is affected by their algorithm. I might have 300 songs on my playlist and hear the top 25. Once in a while, the other songs pop in one at a time until I have a new 25 songs. We had Pandora and I liked that I could mix several different stations to listen to at once. If I got tired of a type of music, I could remove that station from my list. Spotify doesn't do that.

Maybe Zombie Alert! is a board game.