I don't mean to sound gloomy, but could you be depressed? A talk with your doctor might set you along the right path. Another thought was whether or not you have support other than the excellent support provided by your family? While it is a wonderful blessing to have a supportive family it doesn't necessarily fulfil all our needs for closeness and companionship. I'm sorry, I don't know much about your situation, so I may be way off with my suggestions, they were just what immediately struck me, lacking any other information. I'm sorry you're struggling. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

I'm so happy things are looking brighter for you today! It sounds as though you're being very proactive; I do hope the New Year brings positive changes for you. :grouphug:

I'm so happy to hear that you're feeling re-energised and motivated :001_smile:. The 'kids-constantly-with-me' thing does get better as they get older. My youngest is now 5 and he and his brothers are able to keep each other entertained for hours without bothering me at all. In that respect it definitely gets easier. I hope you're able to find ways of getting away from it all more regularly. Take care

Oh, wow, that all sounds amazing! I really want to make a start at writing more, and if it's OK I just might copy a few of your ideas. I'd also like to check in with you and anyone else pursuing writing goals. You're very inspiring!

:grouphug: That's really hard, I'm so sorry you've been treated so shabbily. I've also been feeling lonely. The last of 'my' family, my mother's brother, died at the end of November, and somehow having all of DH's family here just made me feel more alone and lonely. But, yes, I do think that creating new traditions is the right thing to do. I hope your broken heart heals, and that your health and energy returns. There will be many more Christmases with your family, and before long son- and daughters- in law, and grandchildren. I do think that families are constantly evolving, moving on as people pass on and children grow into adults; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it's helpful to realise how precious the family we still have are to us. You will be in my thoughts and close to my heart; it's a difficult time of year to struggle with feelings of loss.

:grouphug: I'm so sorry Laura, you guys really didn't need that. I do hope that 2013 brings your family far better fortune.

Most of my presents this year left me rather underwhelmed: a beautifully presented bag of homemade muesli, a pair of glass candlesticks, and some 'old lady jeans'. At least I was able to find some comfort in the piles of chocolates and fudge that DH knows he really shouldn't buy for me :glare: . My best present of all was the one I thoughtfully bought for myself, knowing that no-one else would: a Canon EOS 650D camera :D . I'm just off to play!

:iagree: A snotty nosed baby would upset me much more.

Christmas seems to have been one big cleaning/organising challenge. I had to transform the dining room from a school room to firstly a party room, then a Christmas lunch room - with lots of cleaning before, during and after. Yesterday and today we've been slowly taking it apart and by tomorrow it should start to look like a school room again. With eight members of our family staying for two nights I also had to clear, organise and clean our two guest rooms and also tackle two of the boys rooms, putting two boys together in one room, while the other two were on a blow-up mattress on the floor in our bedroom. Again, things are slowly drifting back to normality. Sadly I seem to be coming down with something and feel so achy and lacking in energy that complete normality may have to wait a little longer than I'd envisaged.

I've used Command Strips in the past (you can get them from Amazon); they hang posters much more neatly and, if you follow the instructions, don't damage your walls when you take them down. I have, however, had one wall slightly damaged when taking one off, but that was probably my own fault :blush: .

Say nothing, don't react. If she's trying to make you feel bad or uncomfortable then your refusal to do so is your best response.

Could you have a bit of a break for a month or so? We just had an enforced break for the last month due to the illness and subsequent death of an elderly relative, and then other family commitments. During this time all we did was lots of reading and our daily math lessons. The boys then zoomed around busily doing their own various art and creative projects, without any input from myself; they actually educated themselves fairly well! I hated it at first, feeling that I was letting them down, but soon realised that they weren't really missing out on anything crucial. Now we're finally near the end of our crisis period and I'm starting to plan 'school proper' to start in just over a week's time - and do you know, I feel more motivated and excited about school than I have in a long, long while; I'm really beginning to realise just how bored and uninspired I'd felt about school throughout September and October. So, a change is as good as a rest, as they say :001_smile:.

Oh no! :grouphug: s for Zee (and for Mum too). We've got all sorts of horrid things going around here just now; at one point a quarter of the school the older boys go to was off sick. (DS5 had a particularly nasty bout of projectile vomiting a couple of days ago - all over me, my pyjamas, my bed). Hope he's feeling a lot better soon, and that he hasn't passed it on to anyone else.

We're very structured. Or rather I'm very structured. I really need a routine or I lose momentum. School days are very, very structured on the whole. The boys also have quite a lot of activities over the weekend too, so we mostly feel as though we're on a bit of a treadmill. The boys do have a bit more down time at the weekend, but not always as much as they'd like. This past week, with Christmas, we've had a big party and then family visiting, and I've really missed my normal routine; life has felt quite chaotic and I feel totally wrung out. It was fun though. I find that structure and routine help me achieve a lot without getting too worn out, but then life can get a bit boring. We probably do need to be a little more spontaneous and fun a bit more often.

Yes, I'd be upset too, very upset. On the other hand, to me, she sounds a weirdo, so after a bit of fuming I'd probably dismiss it. I'd also feel very reassured by the trust, loyalty and complete common sense shown by your middle DD. I would talk it through with my DH though, probably as calmly as possible if I thought it would upset him. Then I'd forget it. I'm very sorry your step-MIL's cr@ppy behaviour has upset your Christmas.

Looks good! I like it :001_smile:. Is the wearer of Scottish descent?

:grouphug: Yes, I know exactly what you mean, that used to be me. I hated Christmas. Around September time this year Ellie posted a thread about it being however many weeks until Christmas, and I replied something along the lines of "Well thanks a lot, I really didn't want to know, I hate Christmas". Someone else posted in a similar vein. Then a number of wonderful WTM ladies (I mostly remember DianeW88 and Justamouse) started grilling us about why we hated Christmas, and I ended up with the message that if only I got organised early enough and kept things reasonably simple, then I too could have a wonderful Christmas. So I started in mid-Octoberl; DH thought I was crazy. I designed invitations for a party we'll be hosting this Saturday, worked out exactly what food we'd have and when and how I make it (OK, so that wasn't keeping things simple). I got the kids to start writing their Christmas lists as part of a writing assignment, and I started buying stuff off their lists. Then I invited all my in-laws for Christmas day. And I decided to make and decorate three Christmas cakes as presents. So far it's all coming together pretty perfectly, and yes I am enjoying it all. And that's despite the fact that during mid-November my Uncle took ill and subsequently passed away; I was his only living relative and next-of-kin, so I had a lot of work and running around to do as well as working through my grief. During those rare moments when I feel grouchy and tired I sit down with DS5 and DS8 and read another chapter of A Christmas Carol; despite it being quite a difficult book for them they're really enjoying it and it definitely does me the power of good. So, yes, I can absolutely recommend starting Christmas planning ridiculously early next year, it's definitely worth it. I do hope you manage to catch up this Christmas and have fun. When I'm feeling frazzled I find it reassuring to repeat the mantra "Christmas is best when it's not perfect" ;) .

Some nice pencil crayons, or other art supplies?

The only gift under our tree at the moment is a beautifully wrapped tray of Yorkshire Parkin made for us by our elderly neighbour; I guess that's a bit strange, but very delicious if it's anything like those she's made for us in previous years :001_smile: . Maybe I'm strange, but I think a new toilet seat sounds quite exciting, it's certainly unusual :D .

We've done the stuffed parrot, for two years running. DS8 is adamant, he wants a real bird. I've actually bought the cage. We're looking at cockatiels, and hope to get one just after Christmas. I came up with the idea of a cockatiel following a thread by Nance who bought one for her mum. I'll be watching this thread avidly :001_smile: . (DS8 really wants an owl, he thinks he's Harry Potter).

:grouphug: I'm so very sorry. It would be devastating to lose a parent so suddenly at any time of year, but, to me, Christmas makes it all so much more difficult. You will be in my thoughts throughout the Christmas period, and I will pray for you, your mother and your family. Let your children decide whether or not to go to the viewing. My own thoughts are that it wouldn't necessarily be all that helpful, but that is a very personal opinion. Enlist all the help and support you can whilst arranging the funeral. First and foremost look after yourself and your family, you all need the most tender care just now. :grouphug:

Er ... no :D . Although DS13 did suggest it for a moment, with a big grin on his face.

Oh, thank you so much, those look like really great ideas! We do have the music, snacks and drinks sorted, in fact DS13 and DS11 are helping to prepare quite a bit on Saturday :001_smile: . Thank you again.

Just a long shot, but does anyone have any ideas for party games for a group of boys and girls aged 11/12 upwards. We're having a party here on Saturday evening for friends and neighbours and DS13 and DS11 have invited quite a few of their friends from school, with their parents. We plan on the adults chatting, eating and drinking in our dining room and drawing room, while the young people can hang out in the sitting room and kitchen, with, obviously, quite a bit of intermingling (we also have a large entrance hall). DS13 is worried about what the young people will do - the boys aren't particularly into chatting or dancing, and the girls will be bored if the boys just play video games. There will also be a handful of younger children, mostly earlier in the evening. Any ideas would be very greatly received, and would help enormously to relieve stress and anxiety :D . Many thanks

The usual boring turkey, trimmings, roast potatoes, roast parsnips in maple syrup, brussels sprouts, carrots with pine nuts and raisins. And I'm having salmon, as I don't eat turkey. When I no longer have to cater for in-laws I'm going to insist on something wildly different and unusual. And quick to cook :tongue_smilie: .