I'd be very concerned about a child that seemed to have little adult supervision, or who was neglected. I wouldn't 'do' anything about it unless I was 100% sure that what I was doing was really going to help her; sometimes interfering can make things worse. If she were an otherwise nice kid, and not disruptive, then I'd actively encourage to be over at my home rather than leaving her alone, unsupervised, neglected.

I'm not sure that anything you say could help them with the horror, shock and grief they must be going through. "I'm sorry", and maybe a hug, is as good a response to start with as any. :grouphug:

Some rather simple, obvious ideas: Do you have any neighbours? I've only fairly recently got to know a number of our neighbours who are 10 to 20 years older than I am (I'm 48) and retired. I've found that when I have the time to speak to them when walking through the neighbourhood they're very friendly, very interesting and keen to get to know us better; they also know lots about what's going on locally as they have the time. Do you have a dog? I remember when my mother retired she started to take my dog out for a walk every lunchtime while I was at work. She went to the same place, at the same time, every weekday, and soon met a whole group of other dog-walking friends, many of whom she became very close to. Friendships can sometimes develop from the most unexpected of situations if you're open to them.

:seeya: Hi Smiles! :001_smile:

When DS13 and DS11 were tiny I knew a few families who lived such adventurous, exciting lives. As our children grew older I got to know these families better and almost without exception found great gaping chinks in the perfection of their lifestyles. I witnessed women who were tired and irritable, men who were under pressure and started to find ways to stay away from home, children who were overcommitted to an exhausting schedule of activities. I saw family relationships suffer. Even if these people were extroverts, they didn't seem able to cope with the frenetic pace they'd set themselves up for. My life is just like yours, OP. It's calm and comfortable. My older children enjoy a bit more excitement and have a bit more of an adventurous social life, but they can do that more or less on their own now.

We've been doing a lot more arts and crafts. DS8 is a real Mr Maker, but we never usually get around to doing enough of that sort of thing because he struggles so with the basics of reading, writing and math. Over the past three weeks we've managed to be very focused and efficient over the basics in the morning, and then have spent lots of relaxed time in the afternoon, sat at the kitchen table with Atelier Art and lots of lovely arts and crafts materials, with our composer of the week playing away in the background. Very soothing.

Thanks for this! DS8 is mad about wildlife, especially birds. I think he'll be enthralled.

Thank you so much K! That's really helpful. I think I'll take the plunge! I'll have a good look at both the FloorMate and steam mops. I'm just always so very grateful for anything that helps make cleaning a little easier.

I have a cousin who became estranged from just about every family member except my mother. Both her parents had passed away and she had no children. The main problem as I saw it was her bullying, controlling husband, who constantly threw his weight around, and upset everyone, but knew better than to take on my mother. After my mother died I was determined not to let him run me off, as I felt my cousin really needed family support. After a year of nasty, aggressive phone calls from her husband, and angry, emotional, drunken phone calls from her, I could take no more. I haven't seen or spoken to her in over three years. I'm not happy about it, but I felt that I was left with no choice.

Ooh, could I butt in here? Are steam mops any good? I keep looking at them imagining that they must be wonderful, but then wondering how they could possibly do the job any better than a normal mop and bucket. Do you have any expert wisdom you might share me? Many thanks

:grouphug: I don't think you have anything to feel guilty or ashamed of. She's still FB friends with the person who should be feeling both guilty and ashamed. I really, really think you should stop apologising. Whatever she thinks or feels about you now is her issue, not yours. I doubt that whatever she tells anyone else about what you did or didn't do will make them think any the less of you. We all make mistakes. Both she and her 'friend' made much bigger mistakes than you did. :grouphug:

Yes, I'd agree with all the above, plus my new obsession: every dust-gathering surface dusted and shiny. I'm not at all kind to myself am I? Just now I'm having a break from that particular obsession, post-Christmas recuperation :D. ETA: Oh, and all the brownish/blackish smears and fingerprints wiped from the doors and walls :001_rolleyes:.

We have a big house, a dog, a bird and four boys who always make a big mess. During the week I tend to do half an hour first thing, either cleaning a bathroom, vaccuuming, or dusting, before the boys get up, then another half hour in the evening between the end of school and starting dinner. I do about an hour on Friday evening, then two hours Saturday morning and two hours Sunday. It does feel as though I'm never finished, and the house is never immaculate, but cleaning this way does mean that I never completely wear myself out. I got very burned out over Christmas with too much going on and lots of illnesses going round, so I've let things slide a bit just recently while I regain my energy, but I'm OK with that, the house is just a little dustier than usual ;). My kitchen and the bathrooms are always cleaned, no matter what.

I need my dream to inspire me, to sustain me, but I'm old enough now (very old) to realise that dreams rarely come true in ways I'd hoped, life is rarely perfect. But not bothering at all just isn't an option, not bothering at all achieves nothing at all. I battle on through the crappy days, the days when I feel ill and the boys are hateful, the days when nothing goes right, the days when sending them back to school seems not only the sensible thing to do, but the thing I want with all my heart. But that dream at the back of my mind never fades. Then life flows more smoothly, and we're all having fun, the boys amaze me with some new achievement, some new insight. Someone compliments me on how confident and well-behaved they are. Then there's that wonderful buzz of a dream fulfilled, fleeting maybe , but worth all the struggle, all the pain.

I'm sure the boards are less busy than they were, which I quite like. I don't feel quite the same compulsion to be checking in every hour, then spending 10 or 15 minutes responding to threads. Like Kristen, I find I'm actually spending more time actually homeschooling now. I still love it here, though. And I'm a big fan of the new boards. I'm not on FB, so I don't understand all the privacy issues around that. I've never really felt that there was much privacy here even before.

No? You obviously haven't met boys like mine; sticky buns in their pockets would be no problem at all. Sigh.

I couldn't place Richard Hammond's accent at all, it's very neutral, but I do know that he went to school here in our little town, at the very same school my older two attend. Cool, eh?

That's a very special birthday! I'll be almost there this time next year. Are you doing anything exciting to celebrate?

:party: Happy Birthday Chris! :001_smile:

We're in North Yorkshire :001_smile:. Where about is your dad from? I'm originally from near Liverpool, the Scouse accent is another one I'm not at all keen on. I adore North Yorkshire :thumbup:.

I would have thought some kind of sticky bun, try this recipe: http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/1993668/toffee-apple-cinnamon-buns

Yes, very slow here too. I'm glad to know it's not just me. It really needs to move faster, it's getting very close to my bedtime read aloud duty.

Nope, not at all. Talking about flat and nasally, have you ever heard an English Brummy accent (from Birmingham in the Midlands)? I'll look to see if Top Gear has ever had any Brummy guests ;).

As an English person I always love how light, energetic and fresh American accents sound, even those rare few that also sound a bit comical.

I would have thought something like the following: 'When': "T would never bother going out to play when there was something good to watch on the television" - ie it joins "T would never bother going out to play" with "There was something good to watch on the television". 'Where': "T could always be found in the kitchen where Mum usually hid the chocolate" - ie it joins "T could always be found in the kitchen" with "Mum usually hid the chocolate". I think :001_unsure: .