50's, windy, rainy. We had 3 straight days of rain and thunderstorms (thankfully no local tornados) over the weekend. There is widespread flooding. I spent all day yesterday wet vacing the water as it poured into my basement.

This. Susan Barton is extremely helpful.

Please don't do this as it would not be legal at this point (he still legally owns the house as well and you have not yet been given sole rights to the property). I would hate to see you get into any trouble. If you worry about him coming and going, then you would really need to seek legal advice on how to prevent him from doing so. You should do this asap. IME, he will try to enter the home as he sees fit.

I think you should stick to your guns on this. I'm so sorry. I would not try to rationalize, talk him out of it, or engage at all. I'd let him pack and go.

I know I've said it before, but I am truly sorry you're dealing with all of this. I sit here reading and involuntarily shaking my head, not because I disagree with you, but because of my familiarity and sinking hope with what you are dealing with. I don't want to be a Debbie Downer or cause you dispair, so I won't share here. Feel free to pm me if you want my 2 cents, but, for the sake of full disclosure, I don't know how supportive you'll find it, though I do support whatever you decide is best for your family. Big, big hugs.

You thought Moxie's was insulting, but not Minniewannabe's? Hmmm, interesting.

I have 2 tattoos and have immediate plans for at least 2 more. I don't imagine I'll care much what people think of my naked body when I'm elderly (heck, I don't really care what people think of it now).

Uggg! I want to "like" this so badly!

Yes. And be prepared for him to refuse to leave. My ex wouldn't go, so the kids and I had to do the leaving.

Depends on the state, but I agree that he should be the one to leave, even for just practical reasons. I've been exactly, to the T where you are moonhawk. Just know you aren't alone and that others are thinking about you

I think this likely started as a broadening understanding, acceptance of, and accommodations to the needs of certain kids. It kind of expanded as more and more parents saw it as a way of "explaining" or justifying some poor behaviors in their own children. Or even, perhaps, as a kind of babysitter or bad behavior prevention. Or as an excuse. Then the trend set in and there you have it. I'm not at all saying this is always the case. I just think that explains how it has gotten out of hand. And fidget toys aren't the first time this has happened. I'm not at all against fidget toys. I have used them in seasons for two of my four children way before they had a name :).

We are getting ready to start level 2 and I'm looking for some easy ways to add a bit of fun and flair to this and subsequent levels. Ideas, suggestions? I'm currently making a list of things that have popped into my head, but would love to hear what others have done.

Slide. Grew up in the midwest.

Not the bank, but the insurance company tries to get me to do this all the time.

Yes. Depression, anxiety, possibly bipolar or personality disorder on my side and exH's. Never realized any of it until I was an adult. No shame here, but probably quite a bit on the ex's side.

I am so incredibly sorry you are going through this. I've been exactly where you are and it ended the way you asked us not to recommend, so I have no advice other than to say please, please, please take care of yourself and the children. You think they are shielded, but they likely know, see, feel more than you realize. My oldest (10 at the time) began with tears and wanted desperately for us to stay together. By the end she told me she just wanted me to be happy. I, personally, was worn down by all of his "I've never been happy, you did this to me, it's your fault" comments that eventually I began to believe it. 2 years out and I'm still struggling with this. I'm not the person I was; his behavior changed me too. Hugs. You are in my thoughts.

We fall kinda all over the place. I grew up christian and my children have been raised christian. I am now agnostic. Even so, we never made a very big thing out of Easter. My kids have done egg hunts (plastic, elsewhere most years, but never at home). I never did the basket thing, but they do each get a small gift (no candy). My ex-mil does plastic egg hunts and baskets for them every year. I sort of hate it. We do dye real eggs and eat them. I never advertised the Easter Bunny either, but they have heard of it out and about. I don't think any of my children over the age of 3 really believed such a bunny existed. It really isn't difficult to tell that it's a guy in a costume, after all. That, of course, kind of triggered disbelief in other things such as Santa and tooth fairies. I go with the flow as far as such things are concerned. As soon as they ask I reveal the truth. (And my kids never sat on laps of any mythical, gift-giving beings. I find that a bit creepy and they were always scared. I'm always shocked at the long lines.)

On my goodness! Seriously? Thank you SO very much! I'll pm you.

Anyone have the level 3 readers that they are interested in selling?

Talk to your pediatrician as he/she is likely to have suggestions regarding where to go for evals. You can also google "neuropsych evaluations in (insert your city)" and see what you get. I happen to have a local university that provides evals free of charge due to a grant. There are also lots of private neuropsychs but they can be quite expensive if your insurance doesn't cover testing. At any rate, start with your ped and post on the learning challenges board. Lots of experience and knowledge over there.

Do you have a lawyer? Legally you have to be informed and a part of all decisions made. Get your lawyer on it if necessary.

Nm. On second thought, too much info.

My ex bought our first house when we were engaged. He bought it for $18000. It was condemned. We gutted it and rehabbed it (put about $20000 in it). There was no down payment as the entire amount was actually a revolving line of credit construction loan until it was finished and we refinanced. We sold it 3 yrs later for $96000. We used the equity to purchase our second home in 2005. We sold that home last year due to divorce and got exactly what we paid for it.

Thanks for the lesson on other people's beliefs, but I did not suggest she divorce. I suggested she make change for herself and take action towards her own happiness. She is capable of doing that without ever even speaking the word divorce. I said that I would divorce him, but I've already proven my immorality by admitting up front that I am, in fact, divorced. And I want to stress that this is much more than a DH who doesn't help with housework. Re-read her posts, both here and through the forums. I think you'll see what I mean. And while you're giving lessons on what other people might find immoral or impractical, take a second look on your advice not to have more children. I do believe that suggestion is equally as undoable for many here, though I don't pretend to know if OP falls into that category. (Ps: I would say her mental, emotional, physical health is a dire circumstance, but I suppose that's just opinion)

Look, nobody WANTS to think of divorce as an option (well, I suppose there could be some). There aren't tons of people running around who immediately think divorce when they encounter marital problems. But there definitely comes a time in some cases when a person has to choose between the marriage, with all of its conveniences and commitments, and their own personal well-being. Sometimes people have to choose that difficult, fearful, change-inducing option just so they can actually have a life worth living. IMHO OP isn't too far from this point. I am NOT saying she should leave her husband. I AM saying she is going to have to find some way to bring about her own happiness or there will come a time when she will break. You're pregnant, right caedmyn (forgive me if I'm recalling incorrectly)? A person can only take so much. You shouldn't have to just accept anything that makes you unhappy or miserable. You can't. It isn't good for you and it isn't good for your children. You are supposed to be in a partnership. You are supposed to be in a mutual relationship where each person has the other's back. Something HAS to change. What you choose that change to be is up to you. But I'm with Cat on this one. If this were me I'd no longer be calling this guy DH. But I'm divorced, so what the heck do I know?