My mother is looking after my grandmother, who is in a top range nursing home with alzheimers. Granma however felt very strongly when she was younger that she would NEVER want to go to a nursing home...but the reality was, when her mind deteriorated so far, there was no choice. There was no way my mother, who is an invalid herself to a large degree, could care for her at home. And granma has the money to pay for her top motel like treatment. So thats all worked out reasonably well- her room looks straight out over a lake, and the staff are genuinely caring. My dad has cancer- slow though, he could be around many more years yet-...but his wife will take care of him to the end, so I am not worried about that. I will go and be with him but I wont be repsonsible for the care. My mother is the one I am concerned about. SHe is presently caretaker for my grandmother and her invalid husband...while being invalid herself. Unless she goes quickly from something...she will most likely outlive the both and I dont know what she will do. I would say eventually she will book herself into a nursing home, most likely...but I am open to caring for her. Problem is, she lives on the other side of Australia to me and would probably prefer a nursing home to living with my dh! Let alone coming across the country. So..I dont know. I know that for my mother...she is the middle of 3 and the other 2 siblings just barely take any responsiblity at all. I guess it often happens like that- one of the kids takes the lion's share of the caring. I have a brother...he may take care too, and he lives closer...but we don't know yet. My mother is only 65 though, so it is hopefully a fair way off.

I think you need to just exercise enough...more is not better. Dont bust your guts going gung ho and then burn out or damage your ligaments. The key to weight loss is more eating less than exercise, in my experience adn understanding. If you are looking at straight burning of calories, you would have to exercise a phenomenal amount to burn off one muffin. Not realyl possible. What you need to do is just get more active to increase your metabolism overall, and you can do that without killing yourself. I would veer more towards looking at your diet with a fine tooth comb and recording everything. Its surprising how little we really need to eat.

Obviously thats unhealthy. But you cant control other people, so it doesnt relaly matter what you think, or I think. I would take the focus off her and limit contact, and just focus on taking the best care you can of your own family.

One day at a time. Flylady for housework and attitude. Afternoon nap time and early bedtime for kids, for personal space time. ALso, things like co-ops and homeschool park days always gave me sanity breathing time from my kids- while they were playing- while some perspective-gaining time with other adults. It's hard when they are still young like yours. It does get easier.

Curcumin is from turmeric- I love turmeric. For now I might just dose myself up on the herb in my food while I try other things. I am not sure yet what ant inflammatories I will try- and what are available to me locally. I know there is a lot of research done lately in this area, so I am going to check it out. However, I am also of the mindset that I would like to try one thing at a time, so that I know what actuallyworks. If I try everything at once, I wont know which specific thing is having an effect. SO I am goign to go to the chiro first, and then get back into yoga...while I research supplements more.

Patience. I am much, much more patient than I ever realised was possible :) I also feel fulfilled in the area of being much better educated. I am not sure if that makes me a better person but I like it.

I know I need to go back to my yoga practice. I am slack- I just need to do it. I dont want to take anti inflammatories- yet. The pain is not that severe- yet. ANd as Jean below has recommended- there are some natural anti-inflammatories I woudl try first. But thankyou...if it gets much worse and nothing much helps, I will go to the doctor. Thanks Jean- good suggestions- now on my list. I am goig to try glucosamine and chondroitin I think...after the chiro. thanks. I will get to the doctor once i have tried a few things. I hope it doesnt get to that, but I will keep it in mind :) thanks. Mmm, MSM- yes, I have some of that too. OK- I will put some in my drinking water. Thanks everyone....that gives me a range of things to work with...need to get my yoga mat and weights out again...need to phone the chiro...and start on some supplements. I really hope it isnt arthritis but if I start treating it as if it is, maybe I can stop it getting worse. thanks again

Yes- I do think it is worse when a low comes through- I noticed that last week when w had unusually humid overcast weather- but yesterday and this morning it is clear and sunny and its painful- so its not the only factor. thanks- its a good point. Thankyou- I have been slack about my yoga and other exercises- I still walk, but I know I need to do more. I really hope its not arthritis ...sorry you are having to deal with that. Oh dear. Yes...i know fish oil is recommended but I would rather take chia seeds..I am also slack about taking supplements consistently. Darn it. I dont want it to be arthritis :) Yes, I have some weights..I always tell other middle aged women that you really have to take care of your body in your 40s- I had better listen to myself and get moving. Very interesting article, thanks- it wouldnt surprise me if that is what it is. My hormones seem out of whack too, again, after a few months of being pretty settled. Yes- I have just written "phone chiropractor" on my To Do list- thanks Laura. Its definitely worth a try.

I am finding that my joints are aching a fair bit. In particular, my left elbow- when I go for a walk and it hangs and swings- after a while, it stiffens up and becomes painful. I am at the point where it hurts significantly to lift anything with my left arm. But its not just my elbow- that is the worst joint consistently- but also my lower back at times, sometimes quite badly (I have taken painkillers for that) and my legs- often when I stand up from lying down my whole legs and especially my feet are achey. Even when I get up from the computer chair, I find I kind of hobble a bit until the nagging aching goes. Its like I stiffen when I am still for too long. I feel its not as bad as people who have fibromyalgia complain of. Some days when it is particularly bad lately I have searched the internet and I am looking at things like Ross River virus which is prevalent here in Australia...but I don't have a fever. It does come and go although the elbow is always there to some extent. I am 43 years old and my diet is very good, I think. I feel like I am too young to get arthritis! My mother has had fibromyalgia and other related conditions severely for years though so I am familiar with that world to some extent. I feel otherwise very healthy, other than the underlying afternoon fatigue I have had for years. I am just throwing this out here because I am not sure what to do about it. I am going to start taking chia seeds for the omega fatty acids. If someone else came to me with what I have, I would try and straighten out their diet...but my diet is already straightened out- high in vegetables and fruit and some seeds, a little wholegrains, and occasional meat/fish. I am trying to think what supplement I may be taking, or vegetable, but I cant see anything obvious. Any ideas? I did book an appt with the doctor but then cancelled it because I really dont think they are good with this sort of thing, and I wanted to give myself more of a chance to deal with it myself. I wouldn't take any medications anyway- it's not bad enough for that.

I must admit I get pretty blunt with those sorts of kids- they learn pretty quick that I am not really available for anything other than basics. I am friendly but brusque. We have a kid that ds babysits regularly because his mum comes to my dh's classes (held at home mostly)- and this kid has been banned from touching anything in the house, and he cant go anywhere except ds15's bdroom where he can play only his own handheld Nintendo. He just burned all his bridges- and not to mention he is quite happy to provoke my son to anger by being so annoying, then tell his mum stories to make her think my son is out of line. One thing that bugs me is when the kids have friends over and they ask for food- or just take fruit from the fruit basket, which probably my kids allowed them to- and then leave plates or apple cores around the place. That is just plain bad manners. Nowadays I ask visiting kids to help my kids do dishes, clean up after meals etc. I just include them in the general chores- and mostly, that seems to work well. Also, just to give the other side of the coin....a homeschooling kid came and spent a night with us a few months ago- someone from a very religious family that we have known for years but not really socialised much with except at homeschool functions. This kid- 6foot plus but younger than ds15, was the most well behaved, polite kid I have ever met. He stood up after the meal and just started doing dishes without saying anything. He asked permission for things, he thanked me for meals, he talked to me politely but openly and friendly...I know this kid is the wild one of his family of 6 siblings, and i know his mother has struggled with him...and I just had to tell her...he was the best guest we have EVER had. If only more parents took it seriously just to teach their kids basic manners. But then again, my son is my difficult one and is a bit of a nightmare at home...yet I am always hearing he is so well behaved at other peoples' places. The lady down the road just adores him- he just about lives there at times, being Big Brother to her two boys and her young daughter. No, I dont like looking after other people's kids much either...but I am finding it a bit easier now they are older, even though they are bigger, noisier, and eat more. In fact, the other day I got home and dd16 had 2 guyfriends and a girlfriend over and they were swimming in the pool together, having fun. I had just been and brought 4 chooks and some feed and some straw- it was VERY useful to have 2 teenager young men to get it all out of the car for me and fill the feed bin and set the chooks up in their new home.

I agree it's hormones and all. I can't add much to what the others have said other than...as her mum she is going to look to you for wisdom and calm leadership (even if she wont admit it and fights it all the way) and also, how to deal with her own hormones. So all I would add to what others have said is to make sure you are getting your needs met too...that you are eating and sleeping well, that you are getting enough protein, green foods, alone time, nourishment, girlfriend time etc I think that something our girls need- to see their mums' self care routines- so that they realise the need to take care of their bodies, their emotional selves etc. That it's not selfish to need time alone, privacy, coffee with girlfriends or a meal out with dh...whatever it is. It's pretty important for our wellbeing and for theirs too. My dd16 wouldnt exercise for years. She refused to walk evne though we live near beautiful walking trails. Then she had a chiropractic appointment and he told her she had poor muscle tone and she needed to exercise every single day. So ever since then- she has exercised-and now she loves it. She also notices when certian foods make her feel off, and knows she feels better when she eats healthy. I consciously trained her to take note of the symptoms in her body and see what would make her feel better. I think its a lifelong process but it can definitely start once the hormones kick in. That way when there IS a cause and effect- such as a sugar binge causing a meltdown a day later- it doesnt seem so random.

I also email my husband regularly when I have something to say and need him to hear it. I try and keep it to one topic per email though...he's a bloke and all. I would like to talk to my long dead female ancestors- great grandmothers back and back. I think it would be great to meet them and see what sort of people they were, and see what sort of qualities they had.

My son lives on cornflakes, milk (which he is allergic to) and pasta. I frequently don't feed my fmaily because I cant be bothered cooking 4 separate meals- so if anyone wants salad or whatever I am having, I will make it, otherwise, its DIY. (not always- if I am feeling very energetic and very generous, everyone gets fed :))

I just made vegetarian vegetable soup to serve 17 this morning. I just use whatever I have on hand- I often choose to make vegetable soup just so that I can use up the wilted vegies in the fridge. This soup had potatoes, sweet potatoes, a little pumpkin, several parsnips and several carrots, a zucchini, a fair few mushrooms, and the corn off 2 dried up corn cobs. I seasoned it with vegetarian chicken stock powder and soy sauce. I use a stick blender to make it smooth. I made home made bread rolls to go with it- it was great! The mushrooms give it a very meaty type of rich flavour, but for those who dont like mushrooms, they couldnt see them because it was blended. Usually I would fry onions and garlic before adding water and everything else- today my last onion was rotten so I didnt even do that. Just vegies and water, and flavour (stock powder, soy sauce). Its very easy and every pot is different according to what vegetables I use. There's also no dairy in it so it is ok left out overnight- or refrigerate if you prefer.

My kids are older but we discussed it years ago and we did up my life insurance too. What we decided was that the money would be used to put the kids into top private schools- which are $10- 20K a year each. That would be the best that dh could do under the circumstances. Now we are past that stage, and the kids are about to start public school and college...their lives would not change much on the outside.

Yay for your dh's aunt! That sort of thing can be such a great support. I have had relatives like that all my life and they have made things much easier for me with those who are much more dubious. Sounds like its going to be ok with your parents too. It is great to have parents at least not be too openly negative. But in the end its time that will tell. My parents, I am sure, were quite dubious for quite a while, but they didn't dare exress that to me. After a few years they tell all their friends and relatives how great their homeschooled grandkids are, and my step mum actually told her dd to homeschool her own kids who were having bullying issues at school, and she now does. Its much less well known in Australia so its a big deal.

I dont think there is a problem with crying. I think we probably dont cry enough (well, some people do but most of us bottle it up too much). It might just be that the hormones are helping to release some emotional stuff...I wouldn't make too much of a big deal out of it. Just give her hugs and keep the communication channels open, and be matter of fact about the whole thing. It's ok to cry.

I wouldnt worry about the blood pressure issue- the herbs would have a very minimal, if any, effect on that.

I make icecream by blending frozen bananas with either frozen berries or raw chocolate powder....it has the same creamy texture as ice cream but is relatively healthy- no dairy or sugar. My kids love it, as do I. Also, we love exotic fruit.

I just dont hear it...but then, I would consider it rude for someone to say something like that to me. I get people, mostly friends I am not very close to, being a bit concerned at whether the kids have a full social life...and I am patient with the question because people just dont know...but I just quickly cut them off with "my kids have the most amazing social life and I wish I had been homeschooled". And I move on. I am not available for poeple who know nothing about homeschooling giving me their opinion in any way that is not completely respectful.

This is me too. I don't cook- I make one main meal a day. Sometimes if I was feeling like it I would make the kids lunch but often as not, they would make their own. Sometimes we would have our main meal at lunchtime, especially if I was cooking meat (since dh is vegetarian) and then a light meal in the evening, or get your own dinner. For get your own meals, they would make nachos, toasted sandwiches, sandwiches, leftovers, microwaved pies, chips, salad....not always the most healthy meal but worth it to me for the independence factor. For snacks we mostly have fruit.

:iagree: Shes on the right track- its a good herbal mixture for your issue. Whether its enough...wait and see. ANd yes, it might take a few cycles before you see significant results.

We've become a virtually gluten free household due to dh's obvious gluten intolerance, and my willingness to stop eating bread. Its no struggle really...we do have some bread in the freezer for guests and for dd somewtimes. Ds doesnt even like bread. I am happy with vegies, fruit and sometimes rice and other grains. Dh however used to love his bread- what he eats now are flavoured rice cakes. He goes out for breakfast a couple of days a week and takes his rice cakes and orders eggs on toast without the toast :) and then uses the rice cakes. He does the same at home. He is vegetarian but eats eggs daily. We don't eat pizza much either but I did buy some gluten free pizza bases the other day for a treat. DH doesnt generally like gluten free breads etc. For pasta, I make him separate rice pasta. Its not so hard.

I still havent finished The Fall from last week, although I tried hard. Thats probably because I also downloaded the No S Diet onto my ipad and read that, which took me longer than I thought, so I am going to count that as last week's book and The Fall as this week's. I will probably start The Story of a Soul this week too. Although I really should start some fiction as that is what I want to read more of. I might read Dragon Keeper concurrantly.

I have good skin. The dermatologist told me last year that my skin was more like someone much younger than me- and he agreed it was probably because I just don't go out in the sun much. That's not so true this summer- I am now consciously getting more sun, but I never sun bathe or try to get a tan. I just make sure I get plenty of sun on my skin in the earlier mornings and evenings. I have also used moisturiser daily since I was around 18. I only had very mild ocasional acne as a teenager and very rarely a pimple since. I eat well, drink well. Have no idea- could also be completely genetic.