What's good though? I do experience the world as basically benevolent- but humans have an incredible capacity to turn all the gifts and blessings of life to trash. If you project "good" onto the world, you probably have an idea of what "good" is that doesn't necessarily match up with the "good" that is inherently there, which is largely impersonal. Mostly, I feel people make their own troubles far more than troubles are made for them. A basic attitude of acceptance toward life, in all its colours and extremes, can turn misery to happiness- its not life that is at fault, it is us.

We dont drink- I will drink one glass sometimes when out. Maybe 2-3 times a year if that. Dh doesnt drink (he used to, best he doesn't ). However both of us have had colourful backgrounds with plenty of drug experiences. And now, we have told our kids that, but we havent gone into any details because they havent asked. They have an attitude that its really stupid to drink or do drugs. I think it will refine, though, once they mix with young people who do expose them to things. One of the reasons we like to homeschool is to hold off that exposure for longer. Eventually it will happen though.

Apparently I drank and got drunk at my Christening. Its a story my mother likes to tell. I was a cute little toddler and I would dip my fingers in everyone's glass and have a suck. No one realised I was dipping my fingers in everyone's glass- they did realise when I passed out though. I know that would be considered a type of child abuse nowadays, but I do feel it was innocent then. My parents always allowed my brother and I to have a sip of their drink when we were growing up. Just a sip. Then when we were teenagers, we would be allowed an occasional small glass. Kind of European style, I guess. I never however had the urge to get drunk as a teenager and only remember getting a bit tipsy once on one glass of wine. I didnt actually find out what getting drunk was like till I was much older. Won't do that again. Cant understand how anyone could do that more than once :)

Yes, my dd saw it before me, with her girlfriends. She came and told me that the mother (Meryl Streep) is JUST like me. So when I finally saw it, I thought it was hilarious that my dd sees me like that, but also touched :)

Lol, me too :)

I suggest to allow it with supervision and boundaries. I recently went through this with my dd14. I felt she was too young but I don't have a no dating policy and I didn't want to make a bigger deal of it than it was. She went to the movies with this guy once (he is the same age as her, they met through Scouts)- dh and I dropped her off and met him briefly- and then it was literally an email and texting relationship for a few weeks, and it was just too hard for them to see each other so they stopped pretending anything was happening and dropped it. She has shown no interest in "dating" anyone else in particular and I feel she is satisfied she has "had a date" and now its no big deal. If I had stopped it, it would have become a big deal. I dont think 15 is too young- I remember being 15. I too was wild and owuld not like my dd to follow in my footsteps. However, the best way to ensure that happens would be to forbid it and make a big deal about it. The way dh and I are handling it is to keep communicating, talking about boys and hormones, premature sexual activity, etc with a sense of humour but definitely keeping on talking. We will definitely set boundaries. Will tell you in 10 years if I feel our approach was best. Have only just started this area of parenting. Not ready by any means- much easier when they were little!

Sometimes I certainly feel like that. Overall though, dh is pretty good at making sure I get down time. The thing is, his solution to any stress I am feeling is just not to do it, don't take the kids anywhere, stay at home and just relax. Its not so easy when the kids have classes and I have other commitments to just not do them- abd he doesnt offer to do them for me, even though he could. But sometimes, it is necessary to take a break. It's cereal or leftovers for dinner here rather more than I would care to admit.

Well I disagree with that completely- you are affected by alcohol no matter how much you take. Whether it makes you unfit for anything-like driving- is a matter of quantity for sure, but also a matter of your constitution, whether you ate, etc. As for pot, there are very many different strengths- nowadays people often smoke really strong stuff (we called it skunk back in my day, don't know what names they have now) but the effect of mild, ordinary leaf to someone who smokes regularly is probably equivalent to having a drink. One drink of alcohol affects me strongly- as does a few puffs of pot. I think they are totally comparable in that respect. For an experienced pot smoker, one mild joint is nothing much- same as for people who drink regularly.

No, I dont have a moral issue with it UNTIL it seriously affects the lives of children, which I was aware it did in one case. I truly don't see any difference in "morality" between alcohol and dope- BTDT with both and no longer interested. Having not drunk much alcohol in the last 10 years since dh went sober, its interesting I dont have a very high opinion of that stuff, either. It was funny, I never smoked much but long after I gave up, I found out my mum had taken it up- for medicinal purposes as she has chronic pain with fibromyalgia- her new husband interoduced it to her. So I would go and visit sometimes and be offered some and refuse. I mean, my mother!

Lol, who resurrected this ? I thought it seemed familiar, but I went to vote and noticed I already had- months ago. It was a bit of a shock to come onto the boards and find an apparently new, fun thread that already had 34 pages happening! Lke, I was only here a couple of hours ago, how did that happen? Funny thread though.

Having similar issues here with dd14. She sleeps on the bottom floor of our house, the rest of us sleep on the top floor (only way she can get her own room). She started sneaking her laptop into her room at night- we noticed and stopped that. She cant get phone reception in her room- at least, she keeps saying that but every now and then it will work! She has been going to bed later and later- and sleeping in longer and longer, then forgetting to do her chores- so last night I sent her to bed at 9pm. Ds13 was reading and decided to be a detective and went and checked on her at 10pm (when he shoudl have been asleep himself). She was watching tv in her bedroom. Duh, we didnt think of that, since none of us really watch TV much! So the TV (which was only placed there for ocasional use and doesnt get good reception anyway- we didnt realise she actually watched it! ) came up to the school room today. I am finding it a challenge, myself. The rest of us are early risers. She stays up late then wants to sleep in. So when we are doing morning chores- dishes, tidying, etc- she is still asleep. We have started waking her up by 7 or 8 am to try to get her into a better pattern- she is resisting. It wasnt really an issue when I was a teen because I had to be up early for school- it was ok to sleep in on weekends, but I didnt, much- I valued my sleep and tended to go to bed early anyway. We find it irritating that she sleeps in late when the rest of us are up, and then she slowly, slowly, has a shower and gets dressed then meanders into the kitchen- after its all cleaned up after our breakfast etc. Then we are moving on with our day and she hasnt done her chores, and she forgets. I dont have an answer. Our gut feeling is to get her up at a reasonable time- it is harder to enforce her bedtime because she locks herself in her bedroom. I guess we are jsut living this one out, and I will tell you in 10 years time if i feel we handled it well!

I answered "other" because I used to smoke and I did enjoy it, but I realised after a point that it just wasn't doing me any good. I have always been interested in health, and I just wised up about what it was doing to me. You know, I thought I was immortal and all that in my late teens and twenties, then I grew up! Its actually a lovely little ritual (I used to roll my own and all) but it definitely isnt worth it considering what it does to your body. Nowadays when I come across smokers I wonder how they can do that to themselves and I gag at the smell.

The truth is I like to be a bigger influence on my kids than their peers. I like to teach them, read with them, share our lives together, rather than send them off to school where they learn to become institutionalised. I also love the freedom of our lifestyle.

Warming up finally. About 28 degrees Celcius which is lovely. A bit windy for my taste today, but whose complaining? The weather here in Perth Western Australia is Mediterranean like California- hot dry long summers, cool, wet, short winters. I love it.

That's what I was trying to say, too. Reconnecting in a positive way can shift the whole focus. That's why the whole Godly Tomatoes idea appeals to me, though I have not needed to use it much- it is about drawing the child closer, rather than enforcing authority alone (such as with time outs or standing tall and yelling or whatever), which can increase a child's sense of separation. If a child is not feeling connected and close, they will definitely misbehave to get attention- it is as important as breathing.

I have one of the I in W programs- Medieval- and I decided my 13yo reluctant writer was ready for more than imitation, because he has done a lot of it already (with Classical Writing, and narrations). But I can say I feel the imitative process was very, very good for him and I highly recommend it for a 10yo. The IEW program is going to stretch my 13yo in other ways I think he is ready for and I feel it is good enough that it can be used as his main writing for the week- in other words, it is writing program plus history writing in one package- allowing us more time to focus on the program rather than trying to fit in too much in the week. Wheras with I in W, I wouldnt feel it was enough for my 13yo (I was considering using it, since I have it, but decided to go with the IEW instead). They are quite different, but both teach outlining and rewriting in your own words...IEW goes further but my 13yo could not have handled this program at 10. It would have overwhelmed him completely.

I just bought the Medieval book and have just finished reading it. I haven't seen the TWISS dvds or anything- i was going on comments I have seen here that the theme based books are doable without the whole program, and I agree. This looks very doable but wonderfully in depth as well. I haven't seen the Ancients one, apart form the samples online. I find TMs a bit tedious. I like that the medieval book is all in one. As for a schedule...I don't tend to need them, and I wont know until we start how long the various elements will take, particularly with my particular writing reluctant child. I am excited about starting this next year with at least one, if not both, of my kids.

Get a health check- iron and thyroid at least. Just make sure your body is not the cause of your tiredness.

I completely agree that mum's needs need to take a high priority. I take expensive vitamins and supplements and I often cook what I need to eat rather than what the faily woudl prefer (as in, I eat healthy, they are not so keen!). I take a week off a year for a silent meditation retreat. When spiritual teachers who inspire me come to town, I go and see them and the kid's classes etc often take 2nd place for a few days. I have two daily spas with dh (the spa is outside and the kids know to leave us alone). I make sure we start school early so that I can have an afternoon rest/nap/alone time. I dont do weekend sports for the kids (apart from their Scouts sailing etc, where I just drop them off) because I would hate to spend weekends sitting on a soccer field with other parents.

I would pick you battles and make sure you are not micro managing. Everyone has different parenting styles and often what we think is important is really not so important in the big scheme of things, and it helps the whole situation to learn to let the little stuff slide. Let them learn from their own mistakes more..natural consequences and all that. You also might have a very fiesty young girl there...and perhaps she is not feeling respected, so she is fighting for her perceived rights? Its natural. I would do more stuff to build a good relationship with her, so she doesn't see you as getting in the way of having a good time. Have a good time with her as well. Then, the discipline side of things can be easier because it doesn't dominate your lives. It doesnt seem like she feels you are on he side- you are her adversary instead. Some kids like it that way- they enjoy the banter- but I think its important as a parent not to fall into that pattern too much.

This has become quite a big issue here. Dd14 is sluggish in the mornings and has always loved to sleep in. During school term, she sleeps in on Saturdays only, and the rest of the time has to be up by 7am. We are starting our summer holidays here, and she had had two late nights in a row with social events, so i let her sleep in on Monday. She woke up at 12 midday. She is a normally responsible kid so I thought nothing of it, glad she could get to sleep in as she loves to. But that evening, we found out she had done NONE of her chores, and all the animals were without food and water on a hot day. AND she lied about doing the pool (its her job to clorinate it and check the pump is working every day)-she said she had when she hadnt. So, she has lost her privilege of sleeping in, even though we are on holidays now. However, she has talked to me about it in the last couple of days, too. She says she doesnt understand why she finds it so hard to get up i the mornings, and that if she sleeps in it throws her and she doesnt remember stuff. i was thinking it was more a deliberate thing, but I am now thinking that she might have a thyroid issue or something like that. Also, yesterday I make a comment to an adult friend about how dd takes an hour from being woken, to having a shower and getting dressed in the mornings. Again, I was thinking this was deliberate laziness and slowness. But last night she chose to have a shower before bed instead, to try and deal with the long slow mornings more efficiently. I dont know. Its a work in progress here. I do find it irritating when th rest of us are early risers really, when dd sleeps in, because we all do our chores first thing...when she is not around to do hers, it throws out the morning routine for all of us to some extent. Of course then there is the issue of getting enough sleep...but my feeling is, if you get up early, you will naturally go to bed earlier. If not, she can have n afternoon nap, its up to her. ETA dh doesnt like dd sleeping in, and I have always been her advocate, because he feels it creates bad lifelong habits. I am an early riser and wonder if its genetic, but I do prefer that sleeping in be more of an ocasional treat rather than a habit. There may be something to learning the habit to be an early riser. Its natural to me, but I spent my childhood having to be at the bus stop by 6.45 am.

Yes, my kids have internet and have done for a long time. However, you are in a situation where your child is getting his own computer for the first time- the novelty value and potential fun of that will last a LONG time if you get him games. By the time he is begging for internet access he will be older and you can reconsider. I know the whole danger on the internet thing is a serious issue for consideration. I have so far found my kids to be responsible in terms of what they look for, and if they come across something innappropriate accidently they just backspace. As homeschooling kids, the internet is a part of their social life- dd14 in particular spends time online everyday chatting with her friends from Scouts, and homeschoolers....and their computers are in public space- we can see what they are doing if we want to. Yes, sometimes issues come up...dd started takign her laptop to her bedroom until we discovered it- so we stopped that. Its not that she was doing anything wrong, as in looking at bad stuff....its jsut that she stays up socialising with her friends online, far too late. We are the first generation that has had this issue and we all have to find our own way with it. Maybe future generations will have the benefit of hindsight.

I make almond milk...i think its important to soak the almonds first though, before blending...they start to sprout although they dont look like they are sprouting, they are.....it is much more nutritious that way.

I use a mixture between the Knowledge Quest maps and the Geography Coloring BOok (which is mentioned in TWTM for Logic stage maps). ETA: That is once we finished with SOTW (which we used for part of the Logic stage). While using SOTW- make it easy on yourself and use the maps in the AG- but just add more detail to them if you feel the need. We always enjoyed the mapwork in SOTW and got a lot out of it.

Oh yes, that is what I do too. I feel "I can do this", and we do quite well too, but then I just want someone else to tell me what to do! I did that this year for writing- just made it up as i went along- now I have a writing program not because I cant do, but because i dont want to do it any more. Its hard enough supervising it, let alone making it up in the first place! But i dont mind doing it this way. I dont feel the need to keep things the same. I am happy each year is a bit different and I remain flexible to adapt to my kids, my own whims and interests. I coulndt stand to use the same things every year for every subject.