((Hugs))

No- except something like my grandmother had: her upper eyelids were drooping so much that she could barely open her eyes! So she had them lifted somehow. I would never do it for purely cosmetic reasons.

Once a granny from X country told me that men from all over the world travel to choose wives from X country because they are famous for being excellent cooks and housewives.

My children (and I myself when I was little) all had incidents of needlessly killing bugs before they realized that it was wrong and not what they wanted to do. Somehow it had to go that far before they realized they didn't want to. I think that I myself would punish, but not a major punishment, and something that would be over the same day. Did you mean that friend was texting your son? I would think that would be a little young for texting? If so I think I would let that be a longer-term consequence- not allowed to text with friend for a while.

I could possibly imagine waiting to report until I heard from the pastor: say, for example, he had already been reported, and the pastor had said he needed to come clean to the community as well. I could imagine that happening, so I would want to find that out. That would be information I would want to know. It should not take too long to get that info. kwg, I thought about whether I should explain the situation I mentioned above, but I think I really should not, because (I think) there are several people from that community on here, and it is really not my story to tell, and it was very painful to everyone. I am sorry to leave you hanging.

OP, wishing you the best as you negotiate this situation. I have friends whose community was thrown into turmoil through the mis-handling of a situation like this, so I hope it gets resolved rightly for you.

Saved in whatever program I am writing on & Backed up in Dropbox & Email to myself & Periodically print out. :)

I've been immersing myself in lots of fantasy/science fiction, preparing for Doxacon (Christianity and fantasy/sf conference) but now that that's done, I'm going to start Revolt of the Angels, by Anatole French. It was hard to find and in the end I had to order it from a print-on-demand service. I'm a little doubtful about it, but it is my very best friend's favorite book, so I'm determined to read it!! Has anyone here read it?

((Hugs))

I'm sorry. ((Hugs)) and prayers.

Yes, they do stay in. They fit very exactly to your teeth. And mine is hard to get on/off. Even to the extent of: mine got broken down the middle (I am a 'hard grinder' too!) but both halves still fit exactly so I kept using it til I got a new one.

Can you try another dentist and see if there might be a different charge? I have one, and my insurance refused to cover it, and it was only $150. I thought that was way too much til I saw your $700. I know that there are different kinds, and I don't know the name of mine, only that it is not the most basic or cheapest kind, it's one step up from that. Good luck!

And I would act quickly, because the more time you give her, the more time she has to move her own resources around so that she can claim that she 'can't' pay it back.

I do like her, and I am with her on other occasions, so I know how she usually is... yes, Moxie, I am afraid you might be right about the filter ... yes, and I do think it's odd... thank you all for these thoughts so far.

OK, my turn to ask a question, and I hope it won't be too controversial... I would really like a spectrum of responses. I have a friend who lives nearby. Our kids play together all the time and we are very fond of the family. We also see each other fairly often at neighborhood get togethers. We do not agree about everything in life, but we like each other well and generally have no issues. The problem is that after just 1 beer, which is often served at neighbors' homes, or at outdoor get-togethers, she becomes a little different. There are minor changes and also ones that bother me. She does begin to swear a bit, and she also begins to discuss what her child's future sexual preferences might be (she does not have any problem with what it might be: she is not cutting the child down, it's just that it's an interesting question to her.) These things I would see as personal and just write it off as, that's just her, but the thing that I feel is my business is that after 1 beer, she begins to make disparaging comments about me, especially because I am religious. I am not sure where this comes from, because without alcohol, she, while not agreeing with me, is quite supportive and cordial- she comes to our church festival (every day it's going on!), asks questions about it. We always talk and discuss things and listen to each other's opinions. Here are some examples: After 1 beer, she will tell me that the reason I don't like the "Far Side" cartoons is because of that 'religious thing'- she'll say that in a disparaging tone. (I never thought of this- I just don't care for that style). When talking about my husband she will disparage him, saying "I don't care if he is the high priest of mumbo-jumbo!" When talking about people, she will bring in insights from her Anthropology degree about human historical development and say 'oh, but you don't believe that sensible stuff, do you- you're religious!' (when actually I have no problem agreeing with her.) These comments look minor when I type them out, but the sudden disparaging tone toward me, from a friend, is quite disconcerting to me. I should add, I don't think she has a problem with alcohol? She is not super drunk when this happens. Or does this behavioral change mean that she does have a problem? Some people have advised me that the best thing to do is just not to be around when she drinks-- then gradually she will learn that this cuts her off from people. But if I do that, I will have to avoid many occasions of getting together with neighbors. I like to know my neighbors. I think it's important. I've tried engaging with her and responding to each comment at the time, but it doesn't help. I am afraid that the best thing would be to have some kind of conversation with her when she is not drinking at all and ask her if she realizes this is upsetting me. But I am afraid of causing offense and a rift, or something... Has anyone here BTDT? OK, I feel very vulnerable putting this out there, but I am just going to post this and see what happens.

Now this is not my own story, but I thought it was interesting, and I've heard similar from other people, so I think I'll share it. A friend of mine, a young man, was in a terrible marriage. [We thought that she had married him for the green card, but he was trying to make it work. But she treated him badly, was out all the time without him, and even would hit him.] One time a college friend came to visit him/them. He had such a good time with the friend, he realized that he had not been that happy for a long time. He said it was nothing special, not his best friend. Just an ordinary human interaction. He realized that it was so different from his interactions with his wife. Just this experience of having a normal, friendly relationship with a friend, let him realize that his wife did not care a thing about him. He was never going to have this with her. This is what led him to realize that there was no hope for the relationship and he did file for divorce. ETA: I forgot to add: ((hugs)) to you.

We only had a few woodpeckers, so this may not help you, but when I heard them pecking, I took a big metal spoon and banged it on the kitchen exhaust pipe, the metal pipe that goes up from the range fan. It made a tremendous clattering that they could hear on the roof. After a few times they stopped coming back.

Always negotiate.

Thank you for asking this question. I'm listening, because I have a DD just like this-

Ok, I got my copy of Homer!!!

((Hugs))

Woodland Mist LOL!! Yes it is reprehensible, isn't it? Do I get a special WTM badge now?

Happiest Birthday! Car spa, LOL!

I began to read Why Homer Matters, but then I realized I haven't read the Odyssey, ever, except Bulfinch's version, so I am now waiting for a library copy, so I have no book to read right now!

((Hugs))