We do costumes & trick or treating, but I won't do haunted houses (or roller coasters!). Dh does not mind though- he enjoys the spectacle and is not drawn in. Fortunately last time we were @ Disney it was under repair.

I do admire their dedication and faith. When we lived in an unsafe area, I got into the habit of not opening the door for anyone. Now, I do talk to them when they come. I let them tell me about their beliefs, and then I tell them a little about mine. It has been really difficult to have a real dialogue because I feel that they have canned answers. I have literature ready at the door and I always offer it. So far nobody would take it! But I would never be rude to them. I wouldn't offer food either, though, unless it was a scorching hot day maybe something to drink. I would not like to have them do any service for me, when I have no intention of converting or even continuing a fruitless conversation. That would be taking advantage of them.

I knew someone with that name & nobody confused it, that I know of! :001_smile:

I would like to know if the higher incarceration makes any difference to how much crime there is. I would think that the US is much safer than most of the rest of the world. But I don't have any stats to prove it.

My own mom suffered from severe mental illness and I often feel like you. Here's what I have done to try and fill this gap: -read a lot of parenting books, and websites -occasionally go to parenting classes -identify people who are good parents and do what they do -ask, ask, ask all the time: what would you do in this situation? How do you cope with this? to other parents, family members. I have gotten a lot less shy about asking. I used to feel like I needed to prove I could do it all by myself. -take care of myself (enough rest, etc) so that I can be really intentional about what I do with the kids, and not be ready to fly off the handle at a moment's notice. -I also read a lot of books about housekeeping and cooking, since I wasn't taught them. :grouphug:

I hope so!

Once when I was at my grandma's, a telemarketer called asking for my grandfather. At that time he had been dead for 20 years and I was so horrified, and shocked that they would call using his name that I yelled at the girl and told her she should be ashamed of herself. I remember her small voice: "oh... sorry..." poor thing, because of course it was not her fault at all. Anyway now I have a standard answer as soon as I realize who it is: "ohsorryican'thelpyoubye" and I hang right up without letting them speak.

Thank you all! I appreciate the advice very much. The details of the case were actually on the letter from the police: that he had climbed up to look in a window at an undressed woman, had said that he had done the same before, and that he had served a jail sentence because of it.

I agree that Prydain is not anti-Christian, but I just had to put in my 2 cents that I don't think that it's higher literary quality than HP.

:lol:

Can you block her email?

Oh, I am so sorry. That is too bad. Best wishes for your appeal, and for staying calm meantime. :grouphug:

We received a letter from the local police department lately, telling us that a s*x offender had moved into the neighborhood and we are entitled to be notified, by law. This person was arrested for climbing up a ladder and looking into a woman's room (she was n*ked at the time). He told police that he had done this before, often. He served his time in jail and is now staying with family in our neighborhood. Soon after this, a concerned mom who lives across the street from him came around to tell all families with children exactly which house he lives in. She is horrified because she has young teen daughters. We live about 3 blocks away, around a couple of corners. It is a quiet, wooded area. When we take a walk in the neighborhood, it is almost always past that house, because that is the way to the doughnut store, and the only way out of our neighborhood, if you are walking. It is far enough, though, that my kids will not wander over accidentally. My question is, how do we, or do we, change our lives because of this news? I do not want to live in fear. I do not want my children to live in fear. But I do not want myself or my kids to be on his radar either. I hate to give up our favorite walk because of this person. After all, he has taken his medicine from the civil authorities. And, is he really dangerous? Does peeping in windows lead to worse crimes? Neighbor mom wants to pressure him to move out. I don't think that's appropriate. But I don't want to become acquainted with him and be friends either! I want to stay off his radar, and I want to be able to enjoy our neighborhood and our walk, which is healthy for us. Has anyone had experience with this? What did you do? Would you walk past that house or not?

Inspiring about the boy, yes, but that teacher!!! :mad:

:grouphug:

I'm sorry to tell you this, but for us nothing worked. Tried: snap traps, glue traps, homemade traps, electric traps, havaheart traps. By then there were larger rodents too. Also, 2 extermination companies. We had to move out. Hope you will have better luck!

In this situation I like to quote Pa in Little House on the Prairie (I think it is in Silver Lake) when Jack dies. He tells Laura: "God that doesn't forget about the sparrows won't leave a good dog like Jack out in the cold." Maybe seeing it written out in a beloved book will be reassuring for your DS. :grouphug:

Couldn't do it.

congrats! So glad you never had to face the choices that concerned you earlier.

Yes, colds come from viruses, but you make your immune system weaker and hence more vulnerable to them when you get cold, or go out in the rain without your jacket, or sit in a draft. It seems like everyone in the world knows this except us Americans!

I would feel uncomfortable with this situation as well, but my focus would be, how can the POV with which I disagree be appropriately addressed? If you do not speak up, you are letting that POV persuade people who have not heard the other side. I'm guessing that you must be in the liberal branch of the Episcopal church, so that approach may be all that many of your people will ever hear. If you strongly disagree, why not say so? I would be thinking about What is my responsibility here? It is possible to bring things to the conversation without being rude or making yourself into the authority figure you don't want to be, as I hear you. You seem to be worried that your perspective will unfairly lead people astray, since you are the priests's wife. Having another opinion and being able to back it up, participating in honest discussion, does not mean you have an unfair influence! Your opinion and theological take are perfectly valid. Or, if you are afraid that having another opinion will cause uncivil argument in the class, you'd have to question whether a class that might degenerate that easily is somewhere you want to spend 4 years. And, how can you build community over 4 years with people if you are not honest about what seems to be a large part of the class? Also, what does your DH think? And, it must be quite uncomfortable to be in a church whose "authoritative" teaching you strongly disagree with. I think that I have finally gotten to what was niggling at me in your post. That is it. I would be talking with DH about whether we are where we belong. Sorry this is rambling and took me in a different direction than you intended. Best wishes and PM me if you care to. LN

1. When you are a DIL, it seems like every time ILs tell you something, you feel like they are actually saying "you are not a good mother". Sometimes that's not what they mean. My MIL infuriated me one time by asking "Did you bring the children's coats?" I thought she meant I was a dummy for forgetting them. She was actually just asking where the coats were. 2. Your MIL has a different style of parenting than you. It might take a while for you to realize that this is not necessarily undermining you. DC will quickly learn that mama is one way and grandma is another. 3. This stage that you are in is a hard stage. It does get easier. 4. Your parenting strategies seem a little uncommon. When you are a new parent it is easy to feel that you have to prove yourself and do everything right. When you are a more experienced parent you learn to learn from other people and there's no shame in that.

"Your dh could do everything people want and still they would leave. Do not carry that! In fact, often giving complainers what they want drives them away. Love the people, walk with humility, but do not take responsibility for things you have no control over. The pursuit of perfection in the attempt to "keep" people is an exhausting task master." Words of wisdom, Simka!!

Here's what I think: (I am the not-very-skilled director of a small choir) People are always going to complain about something. I would not take it seriously unless lots of people say the same thing, then it might be the Holy Spirit prompting them and you need to listen. And, I would not take seriously complaints that say "the choir/worship should be like this or that" if that person is not willing to join the team and help out. And I would specially not listen to anyone who says "people are saying you should do this or that", because who knows who those people are, or whether it is just one person, or whether one person's complaint is making it back to you through various other people who felt like they needed to pass it on? It sounds like you are in a difficult position, taking over after a beloved leader died. Probably people are grieving over that and it makes it hard for them to accept someone else. That should pass with time, though. He and you should just pray about it and be sure in your own minds that you are doing your best. Then you will be free to slough off the bothering criticisms and be humble enough to accept the good ones. ***And, never feel that you have to pass criticisms on to your husband. If there is a lot of criticism flying around, at least you can be the one person he doesn't get it from. If someone tells you something, just say, "I think you need to say that to him yourself." Chances are that may take the wind out of their sails and they may never say it. :001_smile: ETA if someone leaves over a petty issue, it is their own problem, not yours.

What does your teen think about it? And, is there a possibility of saying, we support this cause and we will contribute the same amount to charity Y which supports the same cause instead?