One resource for a printable chef card ( for allergies): http://www.foodallergy.org/document.doc?id=219 There are more, just thought this might get you started.

Maybe you can reframe this situation in a way that will make you feel better. I'm not sure if you're upset that your ex doesn't know their allergies, if he went through the kids for info instead of to you, or if it's something else, but whatever it is ... This is an excellent, excellent opportunity for them to navigate advocating about their allergies in a safe environment. What a gift! I say this as the parent of a child with multiple LFTAs, so I understand that part of your concerns thoroughly. And I understand that as a mom of a kid with these kinds of allergies, we are used to advocating and controlling and being the one to communicate food issues. I anticipate having trouble letting go of control in that way, too. But as our kids become teens, we have to trust them to be able to do this, even while we stand back and bite our nails. What better place than with their father, who does love them and clearly does not want to cause an allergic reaction? This would be a great time to revisit the allergist, with the kids in on creating their own action plans. One they can implement without mom or dad. Get info from the allergist *for teens* ... It's out there. I think FARE even has a teen group, I've seen it somewhere. Get some restaurant chef cards (again, I think you print these from FARE for free), go over allergens, reading labels, cross-contamination, trace amounts, may contains. Discuss how to determine if a restaurant is safe for your kids, and how to talk to the manager in advance and upon arrival (do you have the tables specially cleaned? does the manager prepare the food personally?), have the kids practice doing all this with you at some restaurants ahead of time. Talk to the allergist about how to recognize anaphylaxis, when to use an epipen. Maybe get an Auvi-Q in case the new girlfriend will need to be talked through it. Go over how to train new people on the epi or Auvi-Q. Order updated Medic Alert bracelets and emergency supply carriers. As for the vegetarian issue - well, it's a month. It'll be okay. And they might come back from their visit with some new foods they like, which would be good. I was vegetarian for 14 years. My skid (now 22 year old DSS) was vegetarian for the first 14 years of his life. He's okay. Your kids will be okay. Honestly, I've heard of more than one allergy mom who took her kids on vacation to someplace where she wasn't sure the food would be safe... and packed a suitcase full of poptarts and some other junk so at least her kid would eat. Not ideal, but sometimes you just do it. (I am not advocating a suitcase of poptarts here, just telling you I know of at least one kid who survived 2 weeks that way - ick!) ...I think, and could be wrong, that the vegetarian issue is just one more element of losing control that sort of rankles. It would me. I get it. :) It sounds like this is their first visit to dad, in these circumstances? ...That has to be hard, and doubly so with the food issues. Please plan some self care for yourself while they're gone, and do something special just for you. :grouphug:

Thank you! That was a great explanation, and I appreciate knowing more about it. It's not as immediate as anaphylaxis, but the results can be serious. It's odd, I am diagnosed Celiac, but it came after so many other diagnoses (and it's really among the least of my worries, health-wise) that all I could absorb was "no gluten" and that was easy enough given that DS is wheat allergic. I can see what happens to me when I eat gluten (I get sick pretty fast - lots of GI issues, as a start, and then colitis, then being unable to digest fruit, then other foods), so I just eat the way DS eats... I think I often feel like a walking encyclopedia on so many other diseases/conditions ... somehow I just couldn't stomach doing the same with Celiac, and adding another entry in the mental encyclopedia set. Probably sounds weird, but it's where I've been recently, and I just can't wrap my head around it all. Thanks again, for the excellent, to the point explanation, I am really happy to have read it. :)

You sound like me, in reverse. :) I don't know what a trace amount of wheat will do to a Celiac, but I know what it can do to my allergic son. What does a trace amount do to a Celiac, will you share info if I do the same? With IgE-mediated allergies, a trace amount can cause anaphylaxis. Anaphylaxis can quickly head into a life threatening scenario - extreme drop in blood pressure, loss of breathing, etc - thus the reason for epipens while waiting for a trip to the ER. Without treatment, or with delayed treatment, people with allergies can - and do - die. In fact, even with treatment, people die. It's not a stomach ache, or a behavioral issue, though I'm not suggesting those aren't problems, too - of course, they are, just on a different level. It's more of an immediate concern. DS doesn't eat at potlucks. He barely eats at a handful of restaurants that we've carefully vetted ahead of time, and question intensely upon arrival. We screen any companies from whom we buy products. He can eat at one grandparents' house, the others - no. He has had airborne reactions from shopping at grocery stores where there are bulk bins so there is a trace amount in the air. As for fad or increasing problem, I tend to think it's both. It's an increasing problem, awareness is growing, and there are many people who hope that this might be the answer to their problem, too. The problem I see is when the fad people go on and off of wheat products/gluten... Which leads people who don't have this issue to think that people who are Celiac or allergic can do the same, that a "little bit won't hurt." They take it less seriously - which is dangerous for those people who have a true need to be gluten free.

If you truly have no other option, ask them for an air filter.

Fun!

So happy for you and your DD! How wonderful for her to sparkle, and to be in a school that appreciates it. I'm not anti-med either, but very happy that you had a happy accident, and that your daughter no longer seems to need those meds. Yay!!! ...On the sadness, you know, I felt that a bit, too, when reading the OP... for the other kids who don't have happy accidents. I wonder if maybe hitting puberty affects many of them this way, only no one knows? My nephew is one who loses his sparkle when he's on his ADD meds, and it always makes me feel sad to see him, like our family has lost something precious. Maybe there are other med options he could try, or maybe he's outgrowing the need (not that I will bring that up, those would be fighting words with SIL!).

Clueless. :001_rolleyes: (The eye roll is for her, not for you. I think she's really just totally clueless.) If you want to put a super positive spin on it, maybe she's round-a-bout hinting to get your kids together, too. Sounds like she's a bit socially challenged.

There are so many great ideas in this thread, I love watching these threads for new ideas. We are always looking for tips and help with controlling the allergy/asthma. I don't mean to hijack by replying too much, but I just noticed you posted the above, which resonated here. We have a fairly new system (replaced it just a few years ago), so the age isn't an issue here. We were using the hefty filters (the ones for allergy/asthma) and we were changing them every 30 days after reading that that could be helpful (can't remember where we read that now, sorry, I think it was in the Mold Warriors book from a few years ago). We mentioned this to our allergist, who said something about taxing the system unnecessarily without enough added benefit. She suggested we try the less expensive filters, but change them very, very often. She said she's had patients do that with good luck. (Keep in mind, she knows we have our BlueAir filters with carbon filters running on each floor, so she knew we were getting good filtration in that department). Anyway, we tried that, and it seemed to be easier on our system and we didn't notice any change in DS's asthma. So much of this is trial and error, and seeing what works for your kiddo. I just wanted to share the above, based on what you said about the filters taxing your system. If it's too much for your system to run the hefty filters, try changing out the filters more often than recommended, and see if that has a good effect. ETA: we also run our furnace fan constantly, so we have constant filtration happening.

Yes, I think pics are a good idea. I think, though, that our allergist was mostly concerned with how the "stuff" from the ducts is vented out of the house, to be sure it all ends up outside and contained, not in your household air. But I could be wrong. As long as you are comfortable with the company, and think it's good, I can't imagine it making things worse. We've put a fortune into allergy/asthma proofing our home, so I know how hard it is. Have you done all the usual: replacing carpet with hard flooring; window coverings; washing all curtains, linens etc weekly in hot water? There's more we've done, but those are big ones. A huge corner was turned for us when we replaced all of our (new!) mattresses with organic cotton and wool non-outgassing, flame retardant free mattresses. We have weekly house cleaners, and have our dogs groomed every 2 weeks (they bring allergens into the house on the fur, and DS is unfortunately allergic to the dogs as well). We evaluate every new purchase for whether it will outgas (as VOCs seem to exacerbate DS's asthma), and even paint, remodeling projects are subject to the asthma test! It is a lot of work. But it's paid off. Our allergist has been a huge resource for us in figuring out what might help. We just try it all. :) I hope you find something to help. It is so frustrating at times, not knowing what will help the most. It's a gamble, but worth it.

If you go, please tell us about it. :) I'd definitely take the kids if we had the chance.

We have serious allergies/asthma here, but I can't answer all of your questions. I do have a few thoughts though: check out Allergic Living Magazine's website - they have some good resources on their site. If DH and I were considering this, we'd probably ask our allergist/asthma doc for help and advice. Have you done that? It might be worth a visit, you could be surprised. My SIL had a special system installed, hoping to see it help with nephew/niece's asthma... but their asthma is still severe. I'm not sure why though, maybe she missed another cause and it would be worse without the special system. On the air duct cleaning - definitely ask around. Our allergist is adamant that air duct cleaning can be a scam, and that you have to find an excellent company. Her thought is that it's better to not have it done, than to have a company that's not good do it. Our heat/AC guy doesn't do it for this reason, he's not a specialist, but he has referred us to the only company he feels is good. YMMV. The best thing we've done re: allergies is to buy air filters for each floor. They are each in the $600 range, so not cheap, but well worth the cost. The filters we use are carbon, and run about $300 (that's for 2 packs) every 6 months. Keep us posted on what you do and the results? I'd love to find more options for reducing asthma! Good luck!

So true! This habit stays with one forever.

Yay!!!!

:lol: Yes, I tell myself we are very green here! We wear jeans, shirts, and jammies until they are dirty. In the summer, that might be pretty quick, but in the winter it can take a while. We have pegs on doors, too. :) Dry clean items are similar, though we do DH's dress shirts after each wash.

We love these blocks. We love all the Haba blocks, so check out the other sets, too, that particular set has been fun though, and DD received it on her first bday. It looks a little boyish, to boot. :)

:huh: Another mom of a kiddo with wheat allergies here. Not Celiac. Not an "intolerance." Allergies, people. IgE mediated. It's reports like this that are actually dangerous for our kiddos, because suddenly all the educating and advocating we've done gets questioned. And the chances that some well-meaning relative or friend will just slip our kiddo "a little bit" goes up. When a kiddo has the potential for anaphylaxis, that's a serious issue. I've been annoyed lately, too.

We have to do this sometimes due to DS's severe allergies. Call ahead and speak to the manager. We've never had a problem, though we always call ahead, inform the server, and keep it discreet.

More encouragement for you... I have a 4th grader who is catching up by leaps and bounds. We were struggling with reading here, and yet had had DS tested a year or so earlier to find that he was in very gifted range. But we could see that his reading was stalling out in 3rd grade. Every other area was good, as long as we did the work verbally (even math), but the moment he had to sit and read the work... trouble. Especially in third grade, as the fonts became smaller, there were more words on the page, etc. I went with the "he's a late bloomer" approach until the end of 3rd grade, when one day as we were reading aloud, he said, "Mom, I just can't do it today. The words are running too much. You know how they run? Well, today they're doing it more than normal." ...Nope, kiddo, I don't know how they run. It was the first time he could articulate that the words were moving on the page for him, it was his normal! ...So off to the developmental optometrist we went. We are 8 months into vision therapy here and the difference is huge. I'm all for evaluations now. :) Since we had done all the other testing (tons of it) prior to this, we went straight to a developmental optometrist because I had a good idea what was happening, from reading posts here, watching videos, and talking to other moms. Without that, I'd have gone for the full range of evaluations, and so many people here can help you with that... Listen to them. They've been in the same place. Once we figured out DS's issue, wow, the difference has been huge. Just knowing, for him, has been a relief. And he is like a sponge now, soaking everything in and catching up again faster than I'd have believed possible. Good luck!

Dying to know that as well. I didn't offer suggestions, as I'm terrible at naming horses, but I keep checking back to see what name you chose!

Yes, the RAST is a good idea. :) FWIW, on the topic of an actual allergy to wheat: my DS is allergic to wheat and dairy (among many other LFTAs). But wheat and dairy aren't as serious for him, and they were not on our radar till the allergist just couldn't get his asthma under control. We did the RAST, the numbers were high, and then did an elimination challenge. So it wasn't gluten exactly, but wheat. Since you've got another kiddo with allergies, that's worth considering. When DS eats wheat (or dairy) his asthma flares, the eczema comes back... but his primary complaint is GI - constipation. I hope you find answers... Some people seem to think that even if one is not Celiac or allergic to wheat eliminating gluten is helpful. I can't speak to that, as we have actual allergies and Celiac (me) in the family, but it might be worth trying even if everything comes back clean. Good luck! I hope you find answers!

Hoping for good news soon.

Yep, blood test first. After that, I think it's worth a shot - even if the blood test doesn't show an issue, it could be worth a shot. For DS, the constipation didn't clear up instantly, but I think within a few weeks we could see a difference. Then when we added gluten back as a test - wow. That made it very apparent that gluten (or in DS's case, wheat allergy) was an issue.

I, too, have a 10 year old who is very tall. It is a challenge. Just keep repeating his age. That's the only solution I've found, but it gets old, and frankly doesn't alway feel effective. DD is also in the 95th percentile for height, and I hadn't even considered that we'll be going through this with her, too. Oh boy.

Thank you. That's what we've done, but I've always wondered about the right way to do this! One year, I lurked near the window and accosted them as they emptied our can! That was actually pretty funny. Thinking more about tipping - we also tip movers (we've moved a lot), delivery people (furniture, etc), and anyone doing work in our house (painting, etc). We don't tip our AC guy, because he owns the business, but if we've hired a contractor who has employees come do work, we tip them. We do tip for restaurant take out, as well as eating in. I have tried, unsuccessfully, to tip our grocery helpers. We use our grocery store's shop online service - they shop the order and bring it to our car. But they say they are not allowed to accept tips.