Checking in, too.

Have you called the doc to discuss this further? Or ... What did the doc say when you told him/her of the abx worry, when it was prescribed? Did s/he suggest that you wait and see? Do you have a pulse oximeter at home? Pneumonia here has been a terrible experience. It was bacterial, and my child was hospitalized. I would not wait and see unless told by a doc specifically to do so. Both times we had it here, it appeared to get better, then roared back. But my child has asthma, so maybe it's a different scenario. If you need abx, or have to give them, always give S. Boulardii two hours apart from the abx. Along with quality probiotics, but don't underestimate the importance of S. Boulardii. Eat with the dose of abx - not a cracker, but a meal. Sit upright for awhile, don't lie down. Don't give with dairy (most). I hope your kiddo is feeling better soon. Eta: different classes of abx would be worth investigating for you. They are not all the same, and as they can be lifesaving, you want to have some you can use if necessary.

Another Land's End vote, but we're not in MN. I wasn't sure it would be warm enough, but it looks like they might be. We love their "squall" gear.

Hoping you are on the way to the ER.

I did, too! Can't wait to receive it. :)

I did Obagi, too. Loved it, loved it, loved it. The peeling part was not fun, but the results were beautiful. :)

So glad that he perked up!

Take it apart and use the pieces to build a chicken agility course? :D :leaving:

I don't want to be someone's product. I'm not impressed with facebook's privacy. I don't feel the need to reconnect with people from the past that I chose to disconnect from at some point. I don't need to post my life online. I prefer to keep in contact via one on one interactions. I want to protect my children's privacy until they are old enough to make their own choices. I have no problem with people who like Facebook, it's just not for me.

Alley, I'm so sorry about your grandma and her sister. That is so heartbreaking. :(

StephanieZ, I appreciate your perspective on this. You're doing a great job for your mom. I know this is a topic that is emotional and difficult for everyone. Thanks for responding with a different take. It's helpful. I think the below is our issue at the moment. Nothing has been fully evaluated, and no tests have been done to determine whether there is a treatable reason for the memory/personality change issues. It would be wonderful to find that there are treatable causes for that. If there are not treatable causes, then that's a different ballgame. Right now, MIL just won't discuss anything with her doc. The last time FIL was allowed to attend, he mentioned the memory/personality issues to the doc - and they got the referral to the dementia specialist and the cardiologist for the blocked vessel, but MIL refuses to go. That was probably a year ago, and MIL will not allow FIL to attend with her again, if she goes at all. Part of the reason she *won't* go is that she says she can't understand her doc's accent, but she won't change docs either. [sigh] On the depression front: it's concerning to me that MIL has given away everything of value in her home, is a bit compulsive about making sure her end of life plans are in order (we have gone over and over everything, for years), and just this past weekend checked out her newly installed and engraved tombstone. She doesn't want to enjoy life right now, she's not enjoying what she has at all. :( They live in an assisted living facility but she will not allow FIL to ask for help of any kind. He is trying hard to respect her wishes, but it is frightening when we hear stories of both of them falling because he is trying to help her (he uses a walker, we're not talking about a strong, healthy man here). Thinking this through has been helpful for me, because in large part I'm seeing that perhaps we need most to focus on getting FIL the support *he* needs at this time. Thanks, everyone, for talking this through with me.

I am on a mobile, so this will be a quick drive by post, sorry. Yes, the concern here is that nothing has been firmly diagnosed. She won't get checked for a UTI, or any other treatable causes of dementia. She won't go to the doctor at all. And when she last did, she refused to let her husband attend with her. Which is her right, of course. But she cannot understand her doctor (her own words), so that's an issue unfortunately. We know a bit, which I've already posted, but that's the extent of our knowledge. FIL remembers now that her last blocked artery caused memory issues, so he suspects that may be the cause of the memory issues. Eta: she is in her early seventies, so not terribly old. :(

Ooooh, I loved the pumpkin! Off to vote! Thanks. :)

Which snake is hers? There are some great pics!

Oh! Tools: my absolute favorite are dental tools. Yep. Dental picks are the best. Great for detail. Ask your dentist for some. :) Other than that, just browse a bit and find the ones that look like they can be used for detail. Big wooden ones are pretty but not as useful as one would hope.

Random Sculpey thoughts from a former full-time Sculpey artist: I prefer Sculpey III. It can be very hard to work with right out of the package, and you really need to work with it. One thing that is very helpful and fun, too: a pasta maker dedicated to Sculpey work. You might find a used one someplace. It helps to soften the Sculpey and get it ready for use. And it can be great for blending colors. Just don't use it for food afterward. For larger pieces, a tinfoil base is helpful, and definitely follow baking directions. Use found objects for texture, add ins, etc, just be sure the add ins are safe for baking. Fun! My guy is almost ready for Sculpey - he loves to go into my studio and work, but we haven't done much actual Sculpey work, as it's still a bit hard to manipulate for him. (Gosh, my posts are sounding weird and disjointed lately - if you put them all together I sound schizophrenic. Yes, I was a Sculpey artist for 4 years, prior to having kids. Before that I was an archaeologist, before that I supported myself selling homemade soap through college. I grew up in the art/craft show world so it's a natural fall back for me to jump back into the art world. Now I just stay home and teach munchkins.)

I made and sold soap while in college. :) It's not hard, just use caution. Wear gloves. I wore eye protection, too. Homemade soap is great stuff!

Thank you. I will suggest this to DH, and make some calls tomorrow. MIL has been refusing help from the facility lately, and insisting that FIL not call for help when he needs it (both for himself, and for her). Finding out what resources they offer sounds like an excellent step, I'm sure they have more services they can offer.

This has probably been posted already, but it appears that the Dallas area officer who was admitted yesterday is showing no signs of Ebola. The link is from the Seattle Times, it came across my newsfeed. Just wanted to throw something positive into this thread. I'm happy for the officer and his family. ETA: They are doing more testing, but so far it looks good.

Thank you. We just reviewed these documents last weekend. They have it all together in a binder, and I believe it's all in order. They signed everything a few years ago, and it's all ready to go, if needed. The second part of your post is worrisome though - I hadn't ever thought of that, but yes, unless the binder is right there open the appropriate page, the EMTs would need to do their jobs. Goodness.

Very well said. Thank you. I would be hesitant to say that she is incompetent. I don't think we're to that point, that seems like a last resort. I think she's very depressed, and forgetful, but I don't think she's incompetent. I do think she's stubborn. :) I think we'll likely start with something like the above - letting her know that her spouse needs the support of family to care for her so he's sharing the info with her (reasonable and well-educated, caring, compassionate adult children), and then we'll explore further options from there. I'm grateful to see there are ways to go about this in steps... Family support, support for the spouse, calling her doctor to discuss concerns, gentle nudges to get her to the specialists... those all seem like reasonable first steps. We'll move on from there. Just getting some support for her spouse will be a big help.

:( So true.

Thanks so much for all the responses. I am going to make some calls today. One small hitch, I'm not sure how to address: DH's father broke his spouse's confidence to tell DH what was going on. His mother does not want anyone to know any of this, she wants to just die, basically. So DH is now feeling powerless, as he doesn't want his father to feel that he can't share with DH, just to have some support. But at the same time, DH feels that he must get some help/support for both of his parents - not just his mom (who is the ill spouse) but also support for his dad, who needs it. DH fears that both parents will be angry if he addresses these issues. And he also fears that his sisters will be upset if he (DH) doesn't share the info with them. The grandchild idea is excellent. There is one grandchild in particular, in med school, whose opinion holds a lot of weight. If DH could get her involved, I'm fairly sure the in-laws would listen. Thanks for letting me talk this out. I know it's a sticky topic, and there aren't any right answers. We just need to find the answers that this particular family can live with, and that DH can live with...

I know. :( I can't imagine. It is heartbreaking to see it happening. I can't imagine living it. My initial thought is like your first post. It's when I see how it's impacting her spouse - sometimes in scary, physical ways - that I want to step in and help. One thing that concerns me is that maybe there is a simple explanation - a UTI, or a vitamin deficiency, a drug interaction, or something I don't know about (I'm not a doc) - that could be causing some of these issues. Something that might be addressed fairly easily, and in doing so give her some relief. But she refuses any tests from even the PCP. I grew up in a family that cared for elderly alzheimer's patients, we kept our family at home and brought in live-in nursing staff. So as a child I saw a lot of alzheimer's patients. (Am I spelling that wrong?) ...This particular parent doesn't seem to act the same way, though maybe alzheimer's can present differently in different people. But it's different enough that I feel like evaluating for other causes might be worthwhile.

Ah, I didn't know that about blocked blood vessels, but it makes sense. Light bulbs are going on here. Thank you. Will a PCP talk to the (obviously adult) child of a patient without permission from the patient? Just to hear the concerns, not give out info? Or do we need to somehow get permission from the parent?