Nope, I know lots of SAHMs. Most homeschool or homeschooled. A few never homeschooled (but have large families). I don't know any women who don't work who NEVER had kids, but I do know some whose kids are grown. Some of the SAHMs I know work a LITTLE bit (like probably <40hrs/month and <5% of household income) for fun or to keep their license current or for some special interest or reason, but I would still consider them SAHMs since their work is not substantial nor imperative for the family. The SAHMs I know are mostly in higher income brackets, (with wives who either gave up their professional careers decades ago to focus on kids or never seriously pursued a career because they started a family relatively early on). IIME, if the working spouse is paid at a rate that dramatically dwarfs what the other spouse could earn if s/he picked up a job, it's often just not worth the hassle (for BOTH spouses) for the family for the wife to work. In a family where each spouse's earning power is at least comparable, then it makes it harder to not take advantage of the opportunity for both spouses to contribute financially. FWIW, I think an at home spouse can still contribute financially to the family, even after kids are mostly grown . . . I know I add a lot of value to our family financially in ways that aren't measured easily.

Yes, Cree soft white (2700K) from Home Depot. AWESOME. We replaced nearly all the lighting in our home with them last year, and the light is fantastic. Very close to incandescent color -- beautiful and good for people and art, instant on, dimmable .. . and although we doubled the size of our house last year, including going to 2 water heaters and 3 HVAC systems (from 1), our utility bills barely went up because of the combination of the LED lighting, better insulation, and updated high efficiency appliances. Go buy some. You'll love them.

I have a neighbor who happens to be a MLM marketer for BeachBody. She's a professional woman, a young mom, and got into BeachBody and started marketing it via her Facebook presence. I don't mind that too much, although I have zero interest in buying that stuff and can't get why people with good jobs are going to blow their limited free time selling crap when they have a sweet baby at home and already whine about not having enough time with said sweet baby. ANYWAY . . . I think because she is a multi-level-marketer herself, she is inspired to cross-promote her friends' MLM crap. She invited me to some LuLaRoe house party that I nicely declined and she's constantly posting pics of herself exercising in her latest LuLaRoe leggings. . . I'm ordinarily very non-judgy when it comes to clothes. I am not a fashionista, and I really don't usually care what anyone else wants to wear. BUT, I just wish I could tell her to stop putting those hideous things on her beautiful body! She's super fit, trim, and although she says she wants to lose a few more pounds, she's really already super fit and slim. But, those damn leggings make her look dumpy. CRAZY! Each and every pair is more hideous than the last. I just finally had enough and googled "lularoe hideous" and ended up at their catalog. What a frightening catalog of ugly clothing. The leggings are better than most of the rest of that ugly stuff. This MLM sales tactic stuff is crazy that apparently a bunch of folks can make real $$ getting perfectly sane women to overpay for such ugly clothes. It just feels like such a MLM scam to me. I apologize in advance for insulting LuLaRoe aficionados. I tried to warn you away from this thread with my title. :)

FYI, c/d is available canned. I'd imagine that the canned version would be less likely to sprinkle crumbs all over the place that would cause problems for you. So, if canned vs dry would help, switch to canned. (Any cat with urinary issues should be on canned food anyway, as higher water consumption is critical to urinary health.) There are a couple different types of urinary crystals, and they require different dietary things to manage (or even dissolve) them. So not ALL "urinary diets" are going to work for every patient, so be sure to run any choice by your vet before switching. I'm NOT a vet. Dh is, and I help manage his practice, so I do know a bit more than some. There are multiple companies that sell good urinary diets. Royal Canin and Science Diet are the two big companies who create "therapeutic" diets for the veterinary market. They make dozens of very specialized diets for specific conditions. The good urinary diets are a very valuable tool to vets, FWIW. I would suggest you look on the Royal Canin and Science Diet websites and read the ingredient lists for the various urinary diets. Be sure to look at canned as well as dry, as ingredients will vary for every formulation. See if any appear to be gluten free (but aren't going to be labeled as such, as I don't think you're going to find a mainstream pet food manufacturer certifying things as gluten-free) If your allergy is so severe that you must be 100% certain that the food is gluten free, then I'd suggest you consult a board certified nutritionist at a teaching hospital. Ask your vet where the couple/few closest vet schools are, and call them up and find out if they have a nutritionist and if you can consult with them. That's what I'd do if I were in your shoes. The nutritionist may well know of other smaller brands of food that are appropriate medically for your cat as well as safe for YOU. Also, if you don't already, be sure to encourage water consumption. Get a "cat fountain", wash the water bowl frequently, leave a faucet dripping . . . etc. It's hugely important! Good luck!

I think it's too harsh. Honestly, it sounds really mean. Let him go to the activity. Let him earn the $ to replace the googles around the house. If you can't afford to pay him enough for chores to keep replacing the goggles, then take a time out from swim to save up the $. Find some cheap goggles and buy 5 pairs at a time.

Thanks, that makes sense. I'm sorry I misunderstood. If our military members were treated much better, then I'd imagine that a wider swath of American families would have military members. I live in WV, one of the states with a high portion of volunteer military members . . . I see young men (and women) enlisting out of high school because that is the only way they see to get funding for higher education . . . I've seen it work for that, which is of course good. But, this pressure to enlist is heavy on poor families, whereas well off families don't have that pressure . . . If enlisting were more lucrative and military members could count on good benefits for their families, a strong career track that could prepare them for a good career after their 20+ years of service . . . (or even a decent career after 10 years . . .) then I'd imagine more upper middle class families would consider the military a good option. Essentially, I think it boils down to treating our military members and families so well that 1) they are fairly compensated for their risks and sacrifices and 2) more people want "in" and it could become more competitive to even get in . . . Seems to me that'd make a stronger military and surely would be more fair to those who bear the sacrifices that protect the rest of us.

I did something really yummy recently. Home-made carne (and pollo) asada soft tacos. Grilled carne asada (about 1 lb for every 6 people) Grilled pollo asada (or similar) Huge pot(s) of black beans. (Make from dried, super cheap and awesome.) Big batches of good "Mexican rice" Soft tortillas (flour and corn . . . corn are cheaper but flour are soooooo yummy) guacamole salsa sour cream "roasted" corn (can saute some corn with some salsa for a quick/easy version) cheese (I use Mexican white crumbly cheese, but cheddar is fine, too) Add a separate green salad, and a couple plates of appetizers, a dessert, and you're good to go. The carne asada is the pricey part. Flank steak is best to use, and seems to be expensive around here. Maybe $6-8/lb. But chicken is a LOT cheaper, so you could do all chicken, or do mostly chicken. Everything else is really cheap. Definitely use dry beans for your black beans when you are making that volume. I made a 2 lb bag last month and I swear it completely filled a 6+ qt pot. SO much cheaper than canned, and JUST as easy as long as you put them to soak the night before. We're actually making this exact menu in a few weeks for a Robotics dinner . . . It'll be for about 50 people. I'm guessing it'll run about $3-4/head in total expenses. Not bad, and this menu is always a big hit. And I *always* have lots of leftovers for any normal event. The only time we get close to everything being eaten is for robotics, lol. Those teens!! They eat double! We did it for about 25 people over the holidays, and it was awesome. We just did steak for that dinner, but for Robotics, we're doing chicken as well to keep the cost more modest for such a crowd. When we did it all steak, it was maybe $4-5/head total expenses (I didn't count, but I'm guessing). Everything can be done and ready to serve. If you want to be grilling at the event, you can do that, and that's what we did for our holiday event. But, for robotics, we will do it ALL ahead of time and just have the meat already sliced and ready to serve in warming trays. If you ARE grilling at the event, the grilling the tortillas makes them extra yummy. We do that when we do this menu at home, but we won't bother with that for robotics. (No grills there, so keeping it simple)

I hear you, but I just think that an individual's physical liberty to control their destiny is so sacred and important that it should not be compromised unwillingly unless absolutely imperative. To me, I hear the hint of mandatory military service . . . and, to me, that'd mean I'd be packing up my brood and moving overseas. I'm very happy to pay whatever taxes are needed to fairly and generously support an all volunteer military, but I would never, ever support mandatory service (not even the kind where you have a PeaceCorps or AmeriCorps nonviolent option) unless it was truly impossible to provide adequately via an all volunteer military. I'd never personally choose to enlist or allow/encourage my children to do so. I'm just way too anti-violence and anti-war and afraid. My mental health would go right into the toilet if anyone close to me were in a war zone. Same goes for if they were there volunteering as some peacenik or health worker. I just don't handle danger well. Besides which, a 2 year (or whatever) mandatory service at age 18-21 (or similar) would not change the fact that any non-career military folks won't really share the pain of career military members. A couple year stint as a young person would become more like another stage of education and/or a religious mission, or whatever, and whether they were compensated properly or their families got good support would be inconsequential compared to the vital importance of compensation and support for career military members/families.

I agree it is wrong, but I disagree with the notion that a lack of shared sacrifice is the problem. The problem is that we don't adequately compensate and otherwise take care of our military personnel and families. Increase compensation and family care. Decrease the routine use of reserves and national guard, restoring their roles to their more traditional roles instead of as routine supplemental troops. Make the compensation good enough that being in the military is a good economic option. And, lastly, respect the sacrifices our military make by not using them wantonly in military actions of questionable importance.

It really sounds to me like your dh is getting mistreated. I think consulting a legal advisor, hopefully available through the army, would be helpful. Dh needs to understand what *should* happen at his civilian job. Then dh can help his employer understand. Since you say they aren't jerks, once they understand the law, hopefully they will go to a larger effort to make things right for your dh. And, BTW, thank you and your family for your sacrifices.

OMG, this story sounds as bad as the one my friend lived while selling her deceased mom's house . . . in SOUTH AFRICA. Good grief. I'm so sorry. I agree, get a lawyer. And, call the actual OWNERS if you can.

Was he called up from the reserves? Or National Guard? If not, how did he have to go to the army job for 15 months? Was the army assignment related to his regular civilian job?

Stepmom/girlfriend going through her drawers is annoying and invasive, but not abusive. I'd stay out of it, while gently encouraging BFF to confide in both of her parents, and of course, keeping my ears and eyes open for anything that is clearly abusive or dangerous, in which case, I'd contact either parent, whomever you feel more comfortable with.

Honestly, I wouldn't interfere with her ability to get it legally. If she is addicted, the last thing you want is her losing her legal source(s), because then she'll likely seek it illegally . . . and accept alternative highs when she can't afford or locate her preferred drug. This is exactly how WV (my state) moved from a prescription drug epidemic to a heroin epidemic . . The regulators got proactive about shutting down the prescription sources, and then addicts switched to heroin. Great. Just great. The heroin is much worse . . . I'd focus on getting her into rehab and supporting that however you can. I'd also focus on keeping her as safe as feasible . . . making sure she has lots of condoms available should she end up prostituting herself . . . making sure she has long term reversible birth control (i.e., norplant or IUD) . . . helping support any healthy relationships or activities she has in her life. Providing access to public transportation (i.e., buying a bus pass or similar) to discourage driving or accepting rides from creepsters . . . Perhaps seek al-anon or individual counseling for yourself and/or your other family members who are impacted. This is the time to educate yourself on drug addiction and how to help . . . (((hugs))) I'm very sorry this is happening in your family.

Have you had thorough allergy testing? If not, you should likely get it as soon as feasible. Once you ID exactly what your allergies are, your allergist can help you come up with a good plan for treatment. FWIW, I, too, have allergies and asthma. I am mostly allergic to dogs and cats and some indoor dust type thing. We have loads of pets. When I was diagnosed, my DR told me to ban the pets from my bedroom and to get a HEPA filter for my bedroom. Of course, I did that. At my recheck a few months later, he seemed SHOCKED that I followed his advice as apparently the vast majority of patients refuse to do those simple things. He recounted visiting a patient in the hospital who was on Oxygen due to her terrible asthma attack and yet was STILL refusing to banish her pets from her bedroom. Anyway, next step was removing all carpeting from our house. We no longer have any carpeting in the house except one oriental rug in the music room where pets are not allowed anyway. Every inch was removed. All of us with allergies feel much better. After renovations and carpet removal were complete, I've been able to reduce from twice a day Advair to once a day . . . My DR also told me that Flonase (now available OTC) daily (2 sprays in each nostril once a day) was even more effective (and important) than oral antihistamines. So, if I were you, I'd add Flonase to your protocol, make sure you are doing the "hygiene" issues like banning pets from sleeping quarters and running a HEPA filter, and then of course consult with an allergist as soon as you possibly can. Asthma kills. It's not something to mess around with. Be sure you have your Albuterol "rescue" inhaler handy.

You know, I'd never hired packers until I had to pack and move my mom's house. The packers were INCREDIBLE. Three people, 1 day, and the whole dang condo was packed. Not one item broken. I guarantee that work would have taken me at least a couple weeks, even with a helper. After seeing that, I will hire professional packers if I ever move again. It was INCREDIBLE. I've moved a full house many times. I know how many hours and days and weeks it takes us to pack up . . . Pros are the way to go, IMHO. (Unless you have a very small household or simply can't afford it . . .) I'd hire an hourly helper for several days over a few weeks prior to the move if I had a good helper, just someone to help sort give aways, purge crap, haul stuff out from closets for me to sort . . . (assuming I was purging as one normally does before a move). I'm thinking the moving company charged maybe only 30-40/hr per packer. I'm guessing they probably get paid under 20/hr. I tipped EACH packer $50/day as well. So, if I were hiring someone, I guess I'd use 40/hr as a VERY top rate, but that's assuming they were as incredibly efficient as these pros. If it were just some helpful efficient person, maybe more like 15-20/hr if they were independently able to "pack up this storage closet" .. . or 10-15/hr if they were just more like a spare pair of hands that needed to be guided in more detail.

Someone else might have asked, but I did not. You must have confused my posts with someone else's. I wasn't interested in any "why?"

And so? OP needs to change this.

Exactly. This. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I needed to do more than like this post. The parent's duty to protect their child comes above any other relationship, obligation, convenience, or anything else whatsoever. To me, that is the essence of parenthood. The core of my moral duty to the universe is to nurture and protect my children. Everything else is secondary. I wouldn't "choose my kid over my husband" if they just didn't get along or whatever . . . But, I would protect my child from ANYONE or ANYTHING and I would expect the same from my spouse. Period. I am sure he'd say the same thing. I could never love or even tolerate a spouse (or other family member for that matter) who didn't similarly choose to protect our children over any other priority. Thankfully, my spouse would be right with me on this . . . I am sure I never could have loved anyone who wouldn't be . . .

I haven't read all the replies . . . It is theoretically possible that this man was "innocent" and misunderstood . . . Certainly possible. It is well past time for any helpful action by the police or CPS or whoever, especially given that the type of touching was the type that could be misconstrued. A couple things stick out. You say you "can't" cut him out of your life. What the heck? Really??? If you believe this man touched your child inappropriately, you HAVE TO cut him out of your life. No debate. You have to. Or else, you are just as bad as the molester. WORSE, because you are betraying your child. If I believed an adult had inappropriately touched my child, I would cut them out of my life, my family's life, and I'd similarly cut out anyone who stayed in relationship with the SOB. And, of course, I'd throw whatever legal bricks I could at him/her. Those things would be GIVENs. So, let's say you aren't sure, really if anything really inappropriate happened, but you do know your little child believes it to be the case. In that case, I'd think the reasonable option is to cut him out of my kids and my life 100% but not necessarily demand others do the same. My reasoning here is to protect my child from discomfort and eliminate ANY chance of continued abuse. I'm not throwing bricks or forcing everyone I know to make a choice (him or us) because I am not 100% sure he did anything bad. But, I AM 100% sure that I need to protect my own both from additional abuse and from the fear of abuse and from the devastation of betrayal of a parent not protecting and believing. If for some reason you can't prohibit him from entering your property or coming near your family (say, you don't own your house and he does), then I'd take a trip with my kids far away, to visit relatives or just for fun. But, no way, no how, would I be there to see him for even one second. When I got back from my trip, I'd get to work finding a new place to live that won't require me to allow a probable abuser from being anywhere near my family. You owe your child protection -- both actual and the SENSE of protection.

Could he be having an actual mental breakdown? Mental health issues are very real.

We make it all the time. You can make it in the microwave and store it in a microwavable dish (we use pyrex) and then warm it up in the microwave before serving. If you use a crock pot, make sure it is on low and stir it. It'll burn if your crockpot runs hot like mine does.

Sink for just a few dishes. If the pile gets huge, it needs to stay on the left side of the sink. (You've got to leave enough room in the sink to actually wash the hand wash, etc., and if it gets too stuffed, then that's difficult.) NEVER the right side (that is for clean dishes drying!) That said, the first thing is to yell, "CHILD NAME (whoever is on dishes that week), come do your job and unload this dishwasher this instant" Follow that up with making said negligent child do all the hand wash, etc that I can't do without a clean slate, lol. That's part of the consequences of falling down on their job of keeping that dishwasher loading and unloading done. My dish sink is huge, so it can hide a lot of dirty dishes, but I don't like to see them, so they need to go into the dishwasher pronto if at all possible.

I'd be inclined towards Rainbow Science, based on my good experiences with Spectrum Chemistry. Ellen McHenry stuff is fine, but, really, I did it with my daughter and a friend when they were around 9. If you have to go THAT simple, then I can't fathom the girl being successful in a dental hygienist program. I'm not familiar with the rest.

OK, so I am looking for an easy "year" of history to put on my ds16's high school transcript. This kid is National Merit bound, high scorer, STEM-oriented, solid writer/reader, but really hates history. Same thing happened with dd19. I don't know what I do wrong, but after the fun of Story of the World and elementary SonLight years, my kids have uniformly hated high school and/or AP level history. After yet another "fail" this year with history, I really need to scrounge up some sort of abbreviated, low pain, history course for ds to crank through this summer so I can put it on his transcript without feeling like a total liar. I'm thinking of US History via documentaries and movies. :) The kid already can write and read well enough to hit 99% on the SAT, etc, so I'm not sweating about having him write a lot, but I'm thinking of having him write me an essay every couple weeks, so maybe 4-5 all summer. That, and watch a bunch of documentaries and/or historical films and write me up a little "response" in a journal of sorts. Yep, I am being THAT LAME. It's OK. He's taking AP Chem, AP Calc, and AP English this year, and he's really academically prepared for college already, so I'm just really looking to check a box PAINLESSLY so this angst-ridden 16 yo and I don't have to fight about school this summer. So, help me brainstorm a list of great documentaries and/or historical films. I'm guessing that 50-70 hours of watching, plus maybe 5-8 hours of writing, is going to be plenty. I'm particularly interested in modern (1920-onwards) because I feel like the last century gets shorted in lots of the good quality stuff I did with the kids when they were little. And, besides, it's important. :) So, now that I've said that, how about we call it Modern US History. :) If I aim for at least one film/documentary per decade :: 1900s 1910s 1920s 1930s 1940s 1950s 1960s 1970s 1980s 1990s 2000s 2010s That gives me 11 decades, so about 4-6 hours of material (on average) per decade and we're good. Please help me list important events/people for each decade and/or specific recommendations for documentaries (and sources if you know where they are streaming, please!) ps. FWIW, our world view is liberal, peace-oriented. PBS stuff will likely appeal, and definitely not any right-wing Christian-world-view stuff. THANKS!