That's a heavy first post. Welcome to the hive and good luck on getting started. I think we waited way too long to formally address this.

The tests given were: WRAMI2, NEPS4, WIATiii writing, a survey I filled out (called BASC2?), and a short how are you questionnaire for ds. We did not request iq or acheivement because we are specifically worried about memory problems, ADHD and dyslexia. Should we send him back for iq and acheivement? We don't have results yet.

I don't like being discouraging, but with the many, many solvent and experienced investors in the Seattle area, if there's a lot being publicly advertised underpriced then there is probably something quite major to deal with. Now, having said that, we bought our dream house at a reasonable price because a family built and grew up in the house and told us they wanted the large property to be loved by a family. A developer was our competition. And saying that, we ended up with a huge problem at the house (a level 3 SO moving in next door). You should aggressively contact anyone associated with the property, but look very, very closely if it seems too good to be true.

It's a technique thing. You bob and then lift to a knee or (less elegantly) to your chest before bringing up the knee or foot. Our pool water level is several inches below the overhanging side and most people can get out from the side.

We spent 4 years actively agonizing over the decision. This will sound totally hokey, but I couldn't shake the feeling that there was another member of our family patiently waiting to join us. We did have another. I am outnumbered and overwhelmed. This guy is the most amazing, sweetest baby. I wouldn't change the decision for the easiest cakewalk of a life. Now I feel that our family is complete.

My oldest is 12. I wouldn't take a similar aged or younger friends with us. A 15/16 yo or older seems fine. It would be bonding for the kids and give them a chance to be adventurous. I wouldn't take a teen that has been untrustworthy or problematic in the past.

Yes. It's hanging in the basement. It's a sleek A frame so I keep telling myself that I will dye it and wear it as an evening gown. Never mind the fact that I don't go to formal evening events.

This is intriguing. I also have anxiety and what I describe to Dh as an inability to habituate. I wonder if ds has similar problems. I understand what your dd is going through. I struggle to not hear or see extra stuff around. Even as an adult able to focus, I'll notice way too much and get overwhelmed. Ds seems impulsive and unable to focus, but perhaps he has the same sensory problem? If your dd has a similar inability to habituate then my personal experience is that exposure did not help it go away. I don't know what helps make it better. I just need to find downtime and avoid prolonged exposure to stimulating environments. Also, I go into what resembles a mild manic phase and ride the waves of stimulation to cope. It results in remarkable productivity with multitasking. I don't know if that's what your dd or my ds also deal with, but I'm definitely going to consider it for my guy if he comes back without ADHD. Thinking about his behavior, his super hyper energy is when he's with others or out. He can read quietly in his room for a long time and he does well when his brothers are out. We had a respected psychologist do the testing. Hopefully he will offer guidance on how to help ds as a family and how to find a good therapist close to us. We have a great ped, but he's fairly hands off. I should get ds for an OT sensory evaluation. Gah. I want the results.

Thank you for responding. Many of our family have sensory issues. We have also had very real problems outside of our control the last couple of years and I would probably be diagnosed with depression and anxiety too. I can't help but feel like he may have this as a result of my deficiencies. This kid is extremely athletic. He often has to sit still and wait while his older brothers have activities. I strongly suspect meeting his very high physical needs would help. Thanks for the reminder on the benefits of exercise on brain chemistry, Quark. We have not looked into OT yet. His anxiety I can totally see, but foolishly didn't really take seriously even though he will not go into another room alone at home. I don't know when we will get results. Of the many high pressure and time sensitive things we've been through, this is the most stressful wait ever! I want to do something and don't know where to start. Thank you for the book suggestion, sbgrace. I added that and the one about temper to my cart. This kid is so volatile.

I'm sorry. We fall into that middle class place where we won't qualify for FA, but can't afford the pricier places. I get that. Dh was given an anonymous scholarship from someone in his church when he was accepted to a special college program (many years ago of course), which has influenced my opinion that it's worth applying if the expense won't kill you. Amazing things do happen.

I'm kind of new to the SN board. I have high needs kids that have mostly compensated for learning struggles. My 7 yo was tested yesterday. We suspect ADHD. His dyslexia is obvious. He's probably a 2e kid. The school refused to test him as he was above grade level academically so we finally went for private testing. We're waiting for scoring and results. I don't know the tests he was given. Before I left I asked if anything stood out and was told he has depression and anxiety. I'm so sad about this, devastated that a little kid has to deal with this. It makes some sense. I hope we get guidance on how to help and not just suggestions of medications. I'm about to search and read through others' experiences. If anyone has been through this, please let me know what helped.

Of course I don't know your situation, but I do know a kid from an extremely modest background who was able to go to middlebury. I hope your dd finds a fit.

Congratulations! I hope you get to hold her soon!

Back on topic Yay that the Dean is intervening! It's possible that small person is just learning about and interpreting the policies as she goes.

Briefly off topic I'm not trying to stir the pot. From my perspective ADA is in place because there is a large enough population of people with disabilities to lobby for and have support to put legal protections in place. Being younger and intellectually capable is its own catagory, so to speak, of the population. Not only are younger students given no bonuses, but they ARE under a microscope and held to a higher standard. Some of this is ok, really appropriate since there are schools for the younger population. But why don't we keep people with disabilities from a fully able person' campus? Law. And then we get used to it (we meaning general population- there are plenty of compassionate folks around). We adapt the campus. We expect the adaptations. It's a process. The link about removing the mountain is so apt here. Unless schools for minors are willing to provide *at level* education, the colleges and universities should open their already prepared content to academically advanced kids. The population is often ignored. Ebunny I happen to agree that there should be allowances and supports in place for kids in college. Not academically, and I'm not sure what would be most helpful, but it is unfair. I do feel like ALs are few enough to be pressured not to rock the boat for fear of losing opportunities they need.

Thank you for mentioning this. Can you point me in the right direction to find out more about this?

Regentrude, I believe ebunny was responding to my post where my ds was screened for maturity. In our case I feel it was quite appropriate. I did not expect or ask for ds to be treated differently. He placed into calculus, but we had him do precalc so that he could use the time to learn how to navigate the system. Trust me, I did not want to sit in a hallway every day. Ds pushed this and I followed his lead. Fwiw he is a quiet, mostly soft spoken introvert who is an utter force of nature. I don't feel picked on, but it is hard to talk about and not feel judged. He was and is ready to head off to college. I'm not ready for it. I'm offerring details about our experience in hopes that it helps someone else, but I'm blindly stumbling through this too. We did a quarter and found, like quark mentioned, that the math was not the best fit academically (in that he wants more depth and challenge), but it is a good way to 'break into' the environment and prove he can handle the other aspects which require EF and motivation. It's not an ideal situation at all. What do kids do who want to learn with others in a live setting at their level (interlochen and proof school are not in the realm of financial reality for us)? We went back to online and self teaching this year. That's not ideal either when you have a kid who develops bad habits in an attempt to find challenge. In some ways his work ethic has deteriorated. That whole too easy-too hard window is still narrow. Sigh. Ruth's situation is different and I don't want to step off course. Her ds is a thread shy of meeting the (fake) age requirement per the admissions woman's declaration. It would still be, IMO, fine to screen for maturity. Maybe I will feel differently when my kids are older, as 8filltheheart and Regentrude do speak from experience. It doesn't sound like that's the issue. It sounds like Ruth had great support from higher up and has been getting the run around and needs to side step the admission block. I love that I can 'hear' you think through this, Ruth. You do such an amazing job and are far from incompetent! I chimed in mostly to encoursge you to go call in the supportive resources. I'm maybe 10% as functional as most of you teaching your AL kids, so I guess it's one of those 'if we could do it anyone can' things. Drumming up support from the top, that is. I'm guilty of, and thus bothered by, the tendency of moms of ALs to not want to stand out or be a bother. Quark: I'm thrilled to hear cc is going well and your ds has found good courses! Please don't quote anything since I'll probably freak out and delete some personal stuff later.

Adding: The teacher(s) made it clear that communication would be between teacher and student. That included email, online components, before/after class and office hours. I know brighter, more capable kids than mine who wouldn't thrive in a college setting for non-academic reasons. There is also the quirk of advanced kid to dive deeply into passions, but when done, move on. A component of maturity in a college setting is to keep up with the work even if it's <boring, shallow, easy, hard, fallen by the wayside bc of new passion> done. The record is permanent. This requires the kind of self-motivation that is not passion driven, but due to a solid work ethic. I 100% credit starting ds at AoPS at 7 for this trait (he had worked through elem curric so it was correct placement). He learned grit. Responsible profs and admins understand this. Even PA Homeschoolers pointed this out when I asked about their AP calc. I would look at is as a good sign if the Uni screens for such maturity, as it means they are hoping for success. Ruth: your ds has more than proven he has what it takes for success at Uni. I think the admissions woman you are dealing with is standing in your way, not looking for a best option. That's why you should stop dealing with her and go above her. It's still a good sign if they want to talk to your ds and screen him. And to dmmettler: DA seems like such a good option for your kid. I'm thinking about this a lot lately as we are trying to figure out what to do next.

I'm sorry. I hope the new gym works out. Life throws frustrating situations at us sometimes. From the depths of my heart I think leaving an unsafe gym and possibly having to find a new sport beats rehabilitating a spinal or head injury. We have seen back braces and wrist braces, and an arm in a sling. Every gym, as careful and great as they are, may see injuries due to the nature of the sport. I truly can't fathom letting boys progress beyond levels 5-6 in an uncontrolled environment. Can you picture J running under a kid dismounting from the bars? Relying on luck is not worth it. I've never seen a coach put up with ongoing behavior like that. Even the most relaxed coach we've ever had who took a special needs kid into a regular class (probably not too unlike how you're describing J, but less intentional) was quick to discipline when things got rough. It doesn't involve yelling either. Coaches have the authority to send kids off the mats. The coach could send both kids to the side. It would be quite obvious if the side sitters always contain J. But it sounds like everyone knows the problem and J's parents don't care or perceive it the same way. You are not overreacting. Well, you could be emotionally overreacting due to not liking conflict.😠(I'd be with you there) Leaving the gym is not an overreaction.

We love our pool. You can get a lock for the fence or an alarm system for increased safety. You can prioritize swim lessons. Our rules include no kids in the fenced pool area without an adult, even though my 3 older are very strong swimmers. Maintaining a pool is a decent amount of work. Your 11 and 9 yos can help with that. We had a similar discussion when we bought a place with a pool. We do not regret the decision. Also consider heating costs. We hire a lifeguard for parties or events where there are many kids, just to be safe.

In our case I believe it was partly ds' ability to interact appropriately in a professional setting, answering questions thoughtfully and proving he could articulate his ideas and opinions. I also do think there was an element of probing to see whose idea it was to go the cc route (vs high school in our case, not an option for Ruth's ds). But mostly I had the sense that the cc president was feeling out the maturity level and making a personal call whether to throw the weight of his support behind ds. In the end, all systems are made of people.

After reading the update, if I were you I'd leave. The best coach we ever had was extremely strict. The coaches at the local place are not as strict, but have clear discipline for horseplay. My 7 yo is impulsive and caused endless disruptions last year in just a recreational gymnastics class. The coaches had him running up and down stairs and sitting on the sidelines about 1/4-1/3 of the time. I was totally on board with that and even now feel guilty sending him back next year. Without coaches willing to crack down I think gymnastics becomes quite unsafe. Not worth the risk.

What do you mean by safe? My older kids have had personal emails for many years now (currently 11,12 yos) and have not had issues with spam or inappropriate emails. They also have google accounts (for file sharing, groups, meet ups) and have not had any problems. They do have strict rules about what they may share online as far as personal information goes and I have access to all of their accounts and activity.

We have glue down directly over concrete in the basement. It's the textured faux wood. We have it in the one room that has seen water at some point in the last 50 years. It looks quite nice (but always makes me think of a dental office) and has held up well in the face of guests, kids and dogs. The only issue is that it does expand and contract more than I expected. One area is buckling because I didn't leave enough room at the end for expansion.

Ruth, we had an obstructionist in the office when we first went in. The secretary did not want to see my kid on campus. Go around her. Seriously. Contact someone above her, vice chancellor or whoever has more authority (which will be almost everyone). Sign up for the math entrance and have him take it. Then make an appointment with the highest level person there and bring results and your son with you. Let your son do the talking. I can see her point if you're trying to gain full admission, but there's likely a way around for a class or two. I had to sit in the hallway for every class, but my kid was 9. I'm guessing you may have to remain on campus until yours turns 16. Perhaps you can hire someone to chaperone for you for 6 weeks. Good luck. Eta: liability IS a real issue. The admin lady probably sees herself as a gatekeeper. We did cc, but when I pushed admissions at the uni (UW), I was told that in fact there's no true lower age limit. Admittedly, UW does have a program for younger kids and may have an adjusted policy as a result. Eta more: we also went the route of approaching a prof in the math dept first. The prof took our request to the dept meeting and the dept was on board before ds even tested at the school. I think that was a good move because then the math folks weren't surprised.