This is kind of awesome, although I imagine it takes a bit of getting used to. Did you spend the first however months going to places and then being like, "Hey, where is everybody?"

I haven't been to many baby showers (people I know don't tend to have them), nor have I ever had one myself, but I think that they're a charming idea and don't quite understand why having a shower for a subsequent baby is seen as gift-grubbing. That said, if that is your mother's interpretation, she should absolutely, positively not send a gift. (Just the thought of receiving a gift under those circumstances makes me feel kind of screamy.) She should send a card, if in fact she wishes them well; otherwise, nothing. ETA: Amy, so sorry about your brother. What a terrible loss.

We had similar backgrounds but turned out the opposite. My DH grew up with very little expectation that he do anything at all around the house -- he was supposed to focus entirely on his schoolwork -- and as an adult he not only has an unbelievable work ethic when it comes to his work, but he is equally disciplined about getting household chores done. Whatever needs to be done, he just methodically works through it. I, OTOH, grew up with tons of household responsibilities (not farm), and while I'm pretty good at taking care of things as an adult, I frequently have to suppress my inner teenager who says, "Even though there are all kinds of things that have to be done I am going to sit here on this couch and read a book and NOBODY CAN STOP ME BECAUSE I'M A GROWNUP NOW HAHAHAHA!!!" :D

I'd say average 90 minutes for K, including cello practice. Sometimes we go a bit longer with a project, and of course we do lots of other educational things during the day (my son reads for hours, for example), but that's our official School Time. 6 days a week, and we will be continuing through the summer, although we have to take off a few weeks in July for a move. I think it's just perfect for us and couldn't be more delighted with how things have gone so far. Next year we will probably go slightly longer, but I actively resist the urge to fill up the days with a lot of Mom-directed stuff.

[quote I'm sure most of the neighborhood thinks I'm either the most haggard teen mom they've ever seen, or looking really good for pushing 50. ;) My DS would just pull numbers out of thin air. :lol: I emphasize this kind of thing a lot with my children -- they are very extroverted and friendly, so they do NOT need to be encouraged to talk to new people, but we work a lot on looking people in the eye, shaking hands, saying good morning to the people we see every day, etc. As with much of parenting, though, it is an excruciatingly slow process of endless repetition. My 6yo is probably batting .500 by now, but the 3yo is still kind of a social disaster.

Yes! That's the one! Thank you!

From what i remember of the article (and I'll go see if I can find it) this woman truly and honestly wanted to be on time, but when the counselor or whoever it was that was directing the whole thing took her through each step of the process for say, getting her kid to school,, it was clear that her estimates were just wildly off, even for the things that she did every single day, or multiple times a day. Which is why she was always late, every single day, for everything. I'm not saying it's a good thing -- I don't have that same problem -- but in this woman's case it was really not arrogance but a weird kind of time delusion. Which isn't necessarily any better but OTOH it was a lot easier to address. Once they managed to convince her that she absolutely, positively, had to allot 15 minutes for getting the kids into their carseats and everything packed, for instance, she got much better. ETA: I am not finding that article, although Google is coming up with some interesting stuff for 'chronic lateness.' I'll keep looking for it, though.

This interchange between regentrude and Ester Maria is kind of cracking me up. If ever there was evidence that punctuality is a culturally constructed value ....! :tongue_smilie: I have a friend from Germany who actually did switch her son's music teacher because the teacher -- who was wonderful in every other way -- was consistently late. It drove her absolutely over the edge. I have also had the memorable experience of being in a car with her when we were stuck in traffic and going to be LATE for a class. I read a great article a while ago about chronic lateness -- there was a woman who was always, always late and the article chronicled a sort of 'makeover'/education process about it. Apparently the crux of the issue was that she consistently underestimated the time it would take to do each step of the process of leaving and getting to her destination. People where i live tend to be reasonably on-time, so I do the same. I don't mind terribly if someone else is late, though, but in general I will not wait for them very long.

I have changed my thinking about this over the years. The more I have learned about various officials, both historical and present, the more it seems to me as though moral rectitude doesn't correlate all that well to political effectiveness and/or good leadership. Which frankly, I find kind of disturbing and baffling -- you'd think that there'd be more of a relationship between the two, and can I really vote for someone I find personally reprehensible? -- but I'm starting to think that character is something of a red herring.

nm

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

No. Everyone I know has very high expectations for their children.

One of my friends here has done exactly that for her 6yo DD, who shares a tiny bedroom with a 3yo brother and 1yr old sister. My friend calls it the 'Manhattan version of a private bedroom.'

Seconding the recommendation for a Radian. We have a Radian, a Britax Roundabout, and a baby bucket in the back seat of a Toyota Camry. It's tight but everyone fits. I think that the Sienna may have only one LATCH seat back there, though, so I'm not sure of the best configuration.

I find that just getting out for 30 minutes to run or swim does my mental state a world of good. I've basically given up on being able to get away for longer, but if I can get out the door for just that brief time before DH leaves for work I am much more able to deal with the day.

I'd put all three in the same room but maybe carve it up a bit with a curtain or canopy for the 10yo Your room is probably going to wind up being overflow half the time anyway (someone gets sick, has a bad dream, etc.) but at least their stuff will be in the other room. If you do put someone in your room, I'd just pick whoever is the soundest sleeper (l.e., least likely to wake up when you creep in later or get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night). [ETA: I see the poster above me said the same thing!] We have lived in a series of small apartments and except for a brief and shining couple of months in 2010, have yet to have a bedroom to ourselves, but I would draw the line at sleeping in the living room. I know some people with families in 1BRs who do that, but that would drive me crazy. I prefer to step over sleeping children on my way to my actual bed.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Rivka. I hope his passing was peaceful.

I have no advice, as mine as still very young, but FWIW when I read your first post I had the exact same thought as your DH. You can't really take them through an intense, methodical analysis of the great ideas and accomplishments of Western civilization and not expect some well-formulated blowback on the question of what constitutes the good life. :001_smile: So, sorry for the stress, but good work on the education!

Yes, I would expect to have raisins. Which is why generally I don't buy carrot cake -- I detest cooked raisins.

This post just gave me a great idea (linking up to a planned unit about storms), and I went to your blog and promptly collected your suggestions on The Tempest. So thanks!

What a fascinating story. Thanks for sharing it.

Thank you so much for this incredibly helpful list! (Now I just have to figure out how to tag so I can find this thread later....)

I test drove both a Toyota Sienna and a Honda Odyssey last weekend. I thought the Honda had a cushier interior but the Sienna drove better. For whatever that's worth.

Did you know the son? If you knew him at all, even in passing, you might write down any memory or anecdote you have of him in a letter and send that.