I don't mean to single you out, much less pick on you,:001_smile: but this is niggling at me and I just can't let it go: just because you are not being paid does not mean that your work does not have economic value. It has the value of whatever you would pay someone else to do what you do all day. Which, admittedly, is not very much, presuming you're a SAHM like me, because our society places a very low value on carework, and ESPECIALLY when that carework is largely done by women, so maybe you're already factoring this in and that's what you mean when you say 'vast majority.' But just in case, and to belabor the point, the imputed value of your unpaid labor should be considered part of the family income.

My parents never told us anything about finances -- in retrospect, I realize that having both grown up in poverty themselves, they urgently wanted to spare us the anxiety that had characterized their own childhoods. Whatever the reason, it made no difference -- I have never had any trouble at all handling my own finances. My children are young and I don't see the need for them to know specifics. I do think that my parents would have done themselves a big favor by sharing some more specifics while I was in college. My parents were not particularly knowledgeable about the financial aid system and I think that if I had actually had a clue about what was going on with their finances, I could probably have negotiated a better deal with the financial aid office. But I certainly can't blame them, far from it -- they were so happy to be able to send me to a school that was perfect for me and just wanted me to focus on my education.

We just go around, and around, and around until we come to a decision we can both live with.

For the kids, I don't care. For myself, I would love to wear more expensive clothing -- I think it generally looks and fits better -- but as long as little people are pulling at me all the livelong day with their grubby little hands, I can't justify it.

Open season, unless you preemptively stake a claim.

I think it's such a mistake to assign homework before it can be completed independently. Friends of mine say that then there's this whole additional process of teaching the child to do their homework withOUT parental help as they get older. But lots of parents really like it the connection to their kids' schoolwork, not to mention the perception of rigor. The schools here assign plenty of homework in K and 1 -- to be completed after a full day of school, mind you. Yet, recently on my local parents' email list some folks were complaining that their first graders were not bringing home enough homework. Not for me, thanks. If I'm going to have to spend every evening doing homework, I'd rather homeschool. As one of the previous posters said, at least this way it's my agenda, and my timeframe.

:iagree::iagree::iagree: Definitely get the Liping Ma book. And the website livingmath.net has all kinds of fantastic suggestions, especially for the early years.

[quote Generally Dutch-speaking and German-speaking countries have the best results in Europe, I think, This is totally pulled out of my hat, not to mention not entirely responsive to the original question, but for some reason I dimly remember reading something, somewhere, about television in Scandinavia being subtitled in English, and that having a tremendously beneficial effect on English language learning. Does this ring a bell with anyone else?

Black, black, black. I always wish that I had a great pair of boots.

My just-turned-6yo rarely had tantrums as a 2, 3, 4, or 5 yo. However, we are currently in the midst of some big changes and he has been handling it VERY badly. All of a sudden, he has been hitting, throwing things, etc. It has been very frustrating and upsetting for all of us. And punishing him just seems to make it worse. However, I recently read The Kazdin Method of Parenting the Defiant Child, by the director of the Yale Child Study Center, and found it incredibly helpful. Don't be put off by the title -- even at the moment, I still wouldn't call my child particularly defiant -- but he has some great info about the state of current research into human behavior and how to use that knowledge to change your child's negative behaviors. I implemented some of his suggestions immediately and it has been a huge, huge improvement. I find most parenting books to be kind of irritating but this one is a winner.

This is such an interesting thread. My children are still very young, so this issue is not on our agenda yet. However, my DH's parents flatly prohibited him from dating in high school -- not for religious reasons, but because his father felt that it was an unnecessary distraction from his schoolwork -- and they weren't too pleased with him dating in college, either. DH still thinks that his parents were completely wrong about this and that he should have been allowed to date, but he's never been able to fully articulate why. This conversation has given me some useful insight. Night Elf, impressive parenting job there, if you don't mind my saying so. Your girl is so lucky to have you looking out for her.

Good decision! I'd definitely do it, assuming no travel and with the understanding that I might not be there. I'm sure you'll look adorable, and who knows, maybe it will be a nice distraction from the misery of late pregnancy.

No, she needs either a CVS or an amnio. The first trimester ultrascreen test (which I assume is what you're talking about -- combo ultrasound and blood test) gives odds. As one of the prior posters said, a 'positive" result on the ultrascreen means that your results are higher than a certain cutoff. It does not mean that your baby has the trisomy in question. Similarly, a negative result doesn't mean that your baby doesn't have the trisomies tested for (13, 18, and 21, IIRC) - it just means that the odds are below the cutoff. I have known two folks who lost babies to Trisomy 13, unfortunately. I will be hoping for the best for your family member.

The actual reason or the reason I tell people? I tell people that we homeschool because we love the flexibility and the individualized education. Both of which are true, of course. But the truEST reason is that deep in my control-freaky little heart, I firmly believe that if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.

It's funny -- I also have three children, but in my circle that IS considered to be a large family! I wholeheartedly agree that the only opinions that matter are those of you and your husband. I also wonder if a certain sadness, or maybe wistfulness, just comes with the territory of acknowledging the end of one's childbearing, no matter what the size of your family or how certain you are that you are 'done.' We are definitely done at three -- the idea of having more makes me think of Icarus -- but even so I can't help but wonder (as someone I know once memorably put it) how many other awesome people are stuck inside my ovaries. It is, like you say, a bit of a mourning, even though I have no desire for more children and feel only profound gratitude for the ones that I have.

Yeesh, so sorry you're dealing with this. I brought them home from the hospital (of all places) when I had #2 and it was a very expensive and trying ordeal. The washing, it was ENDLESS. I think poor DH is still recovering from the whole thing. Hang in there, and good luck!

Thanks for all the suggestion! Accordion files would be ideal -- no dollar store within walking distance, though; I'll have to keep looking for them. There IS a pizza place right downstairs, though....clever idea, if I can't find the folders :001_smile:

I've never felt guilty about giving up a hobby. Life's too short, and there's too much I want to do!

Wow, what great ideas. Your children must love their hideout!

[quote name= The Genius in All of Us **** -- as must read for any homeschooler, in my opinion :iagree:

I semi-recently rewatched The Karate Kid and was surprised how good it was. Better than I remembered. Also agree with Dirty Dancing, Breakfast Club, and Fast Times.

So I have abandoned my hopes and dreams of lovingly storing my child's work in a meticulously labeled scrapbook and am going with the 'put everything from the year in a giant envelope and call it good' approach. Any suggestions on where to buy inexpensive oversized (11 x 17) art portfolios and/or storage boxes? I have been googling but most of the portfolios from the art stores seem to have rather more bells and whistles than I need. Or is portfolio the wrong search term? Bonus points if I can buy online, and super bonus points if I can also order scrapbooking supplies from the same site. Because I have not yet given up on at least making a photo album of our current locale before we move. "Yet" being the operative word here ... As always, thanks in advance.

I also have some of the Billy bookcases with the doors below. It's very easy to add child locks to the cabinets. (Not so easy to prevent the toddlers from figuring out the locks, but that's another story.)

Huh. My oldest, very intense, seemingly very bright child is exhausted by nightfall and seems to need on the high end of sleep to function. I have always assumed that it's because living life at full throttle is rather tiring. But perhaps he's just not as bright as I thought :001_smile: I will say that I have learned the hard way that my little children need a LOT of physical activity to be their best selves. A really, really lot. Every day. It's exhausting just watching them sometimes.

I am following this thread with great interest, as we have been contemplating bunk beds as well. I am rather less worried about accidents than I am about stupid behavior. The barfing thing had not even occurred to me. Oy.