Hive input, please! Found out tonight that a boy on my dd's hockey team found out his best friend likes dd. Boy sent his friend a text message, supposedly from my dd. Dd did not know this was happening until Sunday at a tournament when the boy, along with a few other players, were laughing and she heard her name mentioned a few times. Her response was for them to be careful - she honestly did not know what to do. I only found out because apparently many of the other players and even parents now know what is going on. But the boy who likes my dd doesn't have a clue - he sat in the locker room smiling at my dd tonight and it was...awkward. Once I found out (by accident) tonight, most of the players/families had gone home. Personally, I'm really ticked because my girls conduct themselves with a lot of maturity and poise, they don't flirt, etc. They have worked hard to be part of a team and they are there for hockey and nothing else. I also despise having "fun" with someone else's feelings. So here are these players snickering and giggling tonight, we don't know what is being said "by my daughter" to this kid, and I am just not OK with this. I do not like embarrassing others and I fear that is what could happen here. WWYD? Dd has reached out to the original "best friend" and asked him and the others to please stop the texts because she doesn't know what is being said "by her" and she is worried about possible humiliation for the other kid. Am I wrong in not finding any of this in any way funny? Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

Once/week for a few hours. Dd is sticking to her own boundaries as my mom would literally be there all day if she could.

The last Episode was the one when my mom read through old letters from me, had an emotional moment, and wanted to talk to me about how to win my love back and all that. She said she'd do anything - whatever it took - to make things work, yet declined when I asked for a third party to be present. And that was that. No such talk happened. She sees my oldest dd (26) once/week and is pushing the limits there now. Dd requested the visiting time be after naps (which are sacred for both munchkins and mamas right??). My mom was not happy because she wants to go over and visit while the littles are napping and have my dd all to herself. It's not about my dd or helping her or respecting dd's need to rest or just have quiet time; it's all about my mom and what SHE wants. Dd finally had enough of that and drew the line - good girl. The ironic thing is that my mom gets very upset if plans are changed/canceled, and when dd had to reschedule last week (for a very good reason), my mom sent her a message saying that dd needed to pray about the importance of getting together - this after my mom scheduled someone to come to her house and give an estimate at the exact time she would have been at dd's house. My mom wanted to move the visit earlier to accommodate her own schedule, and yet she told dd to pray about this....oy. Dd also got this message: "I have already prayed and my answer to how important it is is that YOU and your little family are the ONLY reason I am still living in this town." Dd does not feel exactly thrilled about this. I am not surprised - it's just further confirmation of how my mom feels about me and the other 12 grandchildren (oldest dd is The Darling Grandchild). So here comes Resurrection Sunday - my most favorite day of the year. Every year for the last 20+ years we head to our "home church" about 1.5 hours away. We make a day of it and it is literally the one and only day all year that I go anywhere besides a co-op class or the hockey rink. I love this day - I love that we have traditions such as ordering way too many boxes of Dunkin' Donuts and trying to hit every local park. We stay until it's dark and it is just...perfect. My mom has been invited previously (she never took us up on it). Last year she was invited but refused to go because my brother, who'd been in town visiting her for about a week, was leaving that Sunday and she didn't want to give up the last 2 hours or so of his visit (he is The Darling Child). This year my mom sent a message asking if someone could drive her to church and pick her up because she didn't think she'd get a parking spot. It didn't occur to her to leave early or to utilize the service the church offers its senior citizens (or ask one of her many "friends" whom she uses for other things). I told her sorry, we wouldn't be home, and that was that. Sent her a message on Sunday just saying 'hi' and happy Resurrection Sunday. Silence. Today...silence. But maybe that's because she was with the one and only reason why she continues to live in this town (it was her visiting time w/my dd). Feelings of mild guilt creep in from not staying home to shuttle her to/from her church service (which is all of 1.5 miles away - even an Uber or whatever could have been used). And knowing she's seething doesn't sit well with me, either. But then I think back to last year...there were 9 of the 13 grandkids, me and dh. And she chose to stay home so as to not give up 2 hours with my brother. I think I mostly feel anger. I don't want to feel anger - it's not healthy. But then the Dunkin' Donuts weren't exactly healthy, either......but those are only once a year. ETA: Oh gosh, I forgot to put this in - y'all are going to laugh! My mom invited us to go to an Easter concert at her church. It happened on the one day that kids were going 4 different directions, but I told her sure, I can confirm that 2 will attend. Mom gave options of 3 different shows - Th/F evening or Sa afternoon. I chose the latter and she said GREAT, see you then! Friday night (I wasn't home) - she shows up at our door w/3 tickets and says they are for the concert tomorrow. Dh takes them and says thanks...and that's it. Sat. comes and I arranged the afternoon to get 2 kids to the church - it was not convenient, but whatever. So the dc are waiting...and waiting...and waiting for a grandmother who doesn't show up! Being the well adjusted, confident kids they are, they went in and sat through the concert. When dh picked them up he then called to tell me what happened, and I contacted my mom to see if she was OK. Oh, yes, she's fine. She decided to go the night before instead but didn't tell us that when she dropped off the tickets. Then she said that she was actually upset when I chose the afternoon show instead of one of the evening shows because she can find anything and everything to occupy her time and keep herself busy during the day, but she gets lonely in the evening/night. So this wasn't about her spending quality time w/us or wanting to share this experience, it was all.about.her. Dd11 was really ticked off, especially as the concert was "the most BORING and STUPID thing I've ever been to!!!" (She's not one to mince words, obviously.)

Wordle 657 3/6* ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜🟩🟨🟨⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 This one made my day!

I saw this happen with pregnancy/parenting boards back in...2011-2014, maybe? Once active boards went quiet, then gone because the younger/newer moms wanted to start FB groups instead. I never got into that as I much prefer chat boards. Now I suggest WTM and the younger/newer folks don't even know what it is. 😞

I think I joined the board around that time or just before...my #4 was still a wee one and he's almost 23 now. I cannot imagine getting through the last 2 decades w/o WTM/the Hive.

Have you been to the Acoma Sky City? I don't know how many times I drove past (I grew up in Los Alamos, NM and then lived in Flagstaff/Prescott) before finally taking the time to take the tour, and it was amazing!

Ugh, that would be hard because I could NOT spend it. I just couldn't. It would go into a separate savings account for a new vehicle or something. 10K on something "fun" is beyond my comprehension (or budget, lol!). If I absolutely had to spend some just to be in compliance with the person's wishes, I would save 8K or so and use the rest for a small vacation - something low-key. 10K...I was born into/married into the wrong family! lol

I'm choosing one author each month so just finished up a marvelous read through Jane Austen's books (again). Those get better every time. March is Tony Hillerman. Given that I have lived in the very locations where many of the novels take place these last 40 years, I find them super enjoyable.

Oh my...OK, I need to NOT be looking at/for books so late at night. Oy...I feel...stupid.

Thanks, everyone! The price on RR is nothing even close to what I would pay, but I can't find reviews or even the option to "Look Inside" to preview the text. I'll check out the suggestions you all provided, though - you are amazing (as always)!

I am trying to have hard copies of everything because of the subscription thing. A beloved art program that cost me $50 or so for the hard copy is now offered for the low, low price of 2K for a "school" subscription. sigh Yes, although I would never pay that price! There are older editions for cheap on Amazon, but I was hoping to find more reviews beyond what I see on Amazon. 🙂

The Search feature is not showing any results when I put this in, so I am hopeful that someone here has experience with this program! I have a very science/math-minded kiddo who could use a solid course on Food/Nutrition. We've covered A&P (body systems, etc.) so don't really want to get into too much of that again, which knocks out most Health books/programs. I'm eyeing this on RR but have found very few reviews for it. Thanks!

Reading this brings back too many memories...it is a rollercoaster and not a fun ride at all. 😞

Super duper lucky first word! Wordle 611 2/6* 🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Very true. One thing I know about my mom is that she wants to win, and by win I mean she wants to see the other person angry/hurt. When I am calm, it enrages her. When I won't respond to something, it makes her crazy. I don't want to be one who makes her eyes gleam with satisfaction. There is something that feels good to me about knowing that I have not given in to my anger or that she has not seen an angry reaction. I just don't want to be anything like her or feed her sick need to fight - ugly fight, too.

She's sent a few messages regarding other things (nothing dramatic) but no follow-up to her message. I did get a few pictures sent my way today of her cleaned up office. Given that I have not been back in there since finding the paper, seeing the room again gave me a kind of icky, sad, angry feeling.

I agree that she will gaslight me, and I like to think I am ready for it, but do I dare invite that to happen? This is where I find myself unsure because what I have, what I know for absolute sure, is pretty darn powerful. It's what finally made my brother (who dotes on my mom because he doesn't have to actually deal with her) come to a point of saying that I/we have a right of refusal. It's what made my friend, who is the embodiment of love toward others, finally see that I am not exaggerating nor making up this stuff about my mom and to understand why she often found me in tears following another incident. I know to not blow up on her - now that the tornado has moved on and I can think clearly, I know that she would delight in using my loss of self-control against me. She uses my outward calmness against me, too, but how much more so would she claim victim status if I were to lose my crud with her, justified or not? I read this and I cannot reconcile my mom's words/behaviors with her being a mother. How horribly, horribly twisted one must be to do this. 😞

Crazy that you posted this because as I have read her message over and over, this is what stands out to me, too. Her idea of love is for others to make her feel special, regardless of how she treats them. So she accepts "love" from 2 of my siblings but not my younger sister or me (because we don't spoil her or excuse her behavior). So yes, your translation is accurate.

In some ways, yes. I am keenly aware of how easily I could say or do things that mimic my mom, and yet the knowledge of how it felt to be raised by her has been enough to stop me before I get to that point (or hopefully even close to it). I am so afraid of doing anything remotely similar to what my mom did with me/us, I tend to overthink and over analyze things to an extreme.

Yes and yes. When she is quiet and leaving me/us alone, it's marvelous and I truly do not wish to ever see or hear from her again. And yet there is so much I have not said to her, and things keep happening which add to that list. Sometimes I get tired of holding it all in from her and then I get angry because I want to speak my mind but know it might blow up in my face.

This was my mom as I was growing up, but physical fear was her thing. She left her kids terrified of what she would use as she came after us for things we didn't even know we'd done wrong. Oh, the day I was able to look at her and say if she so much as lifted her hand toward me, I would knock her down. That's when her words became her weapon instead of her hands or whatever was in her hands. But you know, to this day I still won't turn my back on her when she's angry or hurt.

Even if I could calmly present the list and maintain a detached, business-like demeanor, she would most definitely twist and manipulate it against me. So here I have this powerful "tool" of sorts, but I can't let her know I have it. What kind of craziness is that??

Without you all, whether it's stuff with my mom or my dc, I would be out screaming at the trees or something. Last night I had to stay right here and it was my safe place for sure.

I could not sleep last night until after 3am, and then I had the most horrifying horrible dreams, I was to afraid to go back to sleep. Feeling pretty crummy today in every way, and yes to knowing she's not experiencing the same angst.