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BakersDozen

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Everything posted by BakersDozen

  1. This isn't my exact set, but it's the same mold and close to the same coloring. Mind has faces with actual skin color, and the gold detail on mine is just stunning. I cannot imagine how long it took my grandmother to paint each piece (I have 4 additional pieces than are shown in this set). Story behind set: It's been in my mom's homes since before I was born. When I was in 3rd grade we moved from NJ to NM, and my mom had to earn money to pay bills. So she set up a yard sale. I was in charge of setting up the nativity set with a price tag of $20.00. I made the sign, my mom approved it, then when she went inside I added another zero - $200.00. When she came out to see how things were going, I stood in front of the sign. Surprise, surprise, the set didn't sell, and she'd said I could keep it if that happened. I've somehow kept the pieces mostly unbroken despite having 13 kids who all adore the set and just have to "help" set it up each year. I've managed to track down 2 sets which are similar (yet not nearly as stunning as the one I have). As I know all of my kids want the set someday, I've stated in my will that it is to go to a different kid each year if possible. It really is just gorgeous.
  2. I'd caution against this if mom/dad may not be OK with it. My in-laws and mom always tried to get me/us to leave the house, they wanted the grandkids to themselves even when my first was just 3 weeks old. I was not OK with it, mostly due to the personalities and behaviors of the grandparents. So being surprised with an evening out or, even worse, an entire night away, would result in some angst when I turn the "treat" down.
  3. She did - email messages, FB messages, and copy/paste of FB posts from me and some other "seasoned" homeschool moms. Presents it in her booklet as her own advice.
  4. There's a gal whom I have helped for the last 4 years or so as she started her homeschool journey. She recently put a booklet on Amazon for $20, and the preview shows copy/paste of posts and messages from me as well as a few other parents. That's all she did - not even her own ideas or words. Yet those who don't know who she is think she has answers galore. They seem to miss the glaring fact that the introduction to this booklet (which she wrote herself) is vastly different in writing style, grammar and spelling (oy...her skills are horrifically lacking) than the rest of the booklet.
  5. I only make time at night when I go to bed. I allow myself until 2am for lights out so if I don't get to bed until 1:30am, I only get 30 minutes for reading. If I don't read, my brain won't shut off and that's not good. I've tried reading during the day or evening, but I get interrupted or feel like I should be doing something else (which is usually true). It's only when the house is completely quiet that I can really relax and read.
  6. super lucky guess for me, too! Wordle 840 2/6* 🟨🟨⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
  7. 501c I only know 2 names of those on the board. And their role is to gloss over what the main guy is doing and make things look as presentable and good as possible. It really is a mess, what the main guy did to the program.
  8. I'm hoping someone here will know if there are any legalities which might help this situation. We participate in a hockey league which has been taken over by an individual who is absolutely controlling. He has refused to provide access or information to anything financial, including the man who is supposed to be his co-partner in this venture. Before the league went under his control, there was upwards of 20K from fundraising to repair the local outdoor rink. He will not answer ?s as to where that money has gone save for fencing (which didn't cost 20K) and some minor repairs which my own dc helped with (for no charge). A charity fundraiser happened last year to help a family whose little guy was fighting cancer. After the tournament, the man would not release the funds and it took some not pleasant interactions from a few folks, including the father of the child, to finally get the funds transferred. So you get the idea that the main guy is less than marvelous when it comes to money matters. There is a board of sorts, but even they are kept out of the loop when it comes to a lot that goes on. There was a fundraising tournament in September for the local Rec/Travel leagues. It wasn't really a fundraiser as it required the players to pay a not small sum to participate, but it was supposed to be fun (it wasn't) and for the benefit of the group. By my estimation, there was ~2k brought in from the participation fees. The main guy has been asked by several of us, including the hockey dad who is supposedly "treasurer" for the hockey groups yet has not been given any access to the account, how much was brought in, what expenses were, and how much is actually left. No answer. Is there any legality which would be useful as far as this goes? This is a non-profit organization. I'm really angry because our family provides a good number of players whether for Rec, Travel, or fundraising events, and I want to know that the $ we bring in is going where it is supposed to. But silence is all that anyone is getting when it comes to funds.
  9. That is exactly what I told him - if anything is broken, missing, or even out of place, she'll blame him. I still remember the list she gave to the police when I was kicked out - everything from light bulbs to nail holes in walls. We are at-the-ready to get him out of there, he just needs to give the word.
  10. We definitely hope he will choose to be here, even if only for a short time. When he is here, you can almost see the stress shed off of him. He plays with his younger siblings and he actually laughs. His brothers/sisters adore him, so it's a win/win. But he is so fearful of expectations and being a burden which I understand, yet he has his older brother, who lives in the back part of the detached garage, as an example of what it is like to move back home - no expectations save for don't do anything illegal and be kind to siblings. I just want my son to rest. And we have looked at other options as far as housing but the prices here are just crazy, even renting a one-bedroom apartment is easily 1K or more!
  11. This time it's not about me. But it's worse as it's about one of my sons. He moved in with her about a month ago despite some kind yet clear warnings from us. He said he'd "lived" with her before when he visited her for about a month (and experienced her rage and unhinged personality). He said he knows how to handle her, he's grown up a lot (true), and he knows how to handle difficult people (also true). He took a week off of work to do anything and everything around her house/yard. He built amazing flagstone steps. He ran errands. He spent his own money on stuff for her. He met with her once/day as she requested (a huge red flag when he told us about that). He communicated with her even when she contacted him at work. He was respectful and patient. He even sat down and calmly informed her that it is not OK for her to scream at him when he lifts the lid off a pot on the stove to see what is inside it. She started knocking on his door in the morning to get him to come and eat breakfast with her. The guy gets off work at 9:30pm and spends the same 5-6 hours after work that those with 5pm end-of-work-days do: eat, work out, clean up, etc. He's taking an on-line class which he does at night. He doesn't get up early as he doesn't go into work until around noon. But SHE wants him to eat breakfast with her. So he slowly began moving his stuff into the area under her house. He doesn't use her kitchen as she will freak out if there is even a drop of water left on the counter. He showers at the gym because if the shower curtain is not closed just right, she yells at him. He wakes up and sneaks around the outside of the house so as to not have her seen him, but he can hear her yelling the most vile cursing at anything and everyone in her sick mind. He sneaks back at night, but if she hears him she stomps on the floor above his space. Sound like some kind of novel about a crazy person? You can't make this stuff up. So now she has told him to move out and...wait for it...she'll call the police if he isn't gone by a certain date and have him charged with trespassing. No first request (which he would absolutely abide by) - right to calling law enforcement. Threats. Hatred. Sick. It's like hearing my own teen/young adult years happen all over again. And our ds is totally bewildered as to how someone can be so evil - a word he was loathe to use yet could come up with nothing better. I told him welcome to the large group of people she has tried to mentally and emotionally destroy. Unfortunately, he's an adult so I can't go over there and yank him away. He will move out - he was actually working on finding a new place without her knowing but had hoped to hang in there until at least November. Here's the worst part: She knows he just came out of a relationship with a truly toxic female. He is so tired in every way, and he just needed to rest. To be in a place of peace. And she added to his stress which is what reduced me to tears when I found out he was going to move in with her. I knew the stress that would be there and knew how badly it would affect an already stressed human spirit. And the same day I found out about her toxic action toward ds, I also found out that our adopted grandmother - who has selflessly loved us and been constantly present in our lives since 2005 - has cancer and is too weak to continue her visits. Faithfully, every week for 18 years, she has come over. She's been at the birth of my last few babies. She's everything good and wise and wonderful. And if she passes and my own hate-filled, horrible mom continues to live, I may lose my mind. I'm sorry...I promise there are good things in my life that I don't post about. I'm sorry to only post about this. But I am filled with an anger that may actually be hate toward someone who has hurt my kid. We're working like crazy to create a space for ds here. He knows he has a place and has crashed here before, but he is not wanting to live in the main house and take up space regardless of us telling him it is not a problem at all. If you've read this far, thank you. Again, I'm sorry for another "Mom" post. 😞
  12. There is consistent behavior so I guess I knew what to expect, and I was OK heading into the last couple of days, but now that those days are drawing to a close and my sister has left (oldest dd is still here through tomorrow), it hits me that my mom chose again to not be a part of this. And so I come to the Hive to write it out and not just carry it in my head by myself. I don't say a word to my mom and neither do my dc; we let her do what she's going to do. I accept it, but I'm still affected by it, I guess.
  13. For those who suggested that the environment (people, noise) is too much for my mom. I don't mean to dismiss that reality. I am a homebody. There have been times I've had to go in a bathroom and take deep breaths and "hide" for a bit because while I can handle my own family/dc, I definitely could do without any kind of group gathering. So my response above was not meant to dismiss this very real and valid observation/suggestion. COVID restrictions nearly made my mom nuts - she cannot stand to not be around people and lots of people. And over the years when she has been here with lots of kids present, she's had a good time. There's something else driving her refusal to come over, and I so wish it could be chalked up to her not liking crowds. So please forgive me if I came across as dismissive - I read every comment and value the insights and suggestions.
  14. OK, so I hear you and understand what you are saying, and I agree. Only my mom has already just yesterday and today sent out messages to folks she does not know I am in touch with about how she never has a chance to see us, she never has time with grandkids, etc. These just in the last 24-36 hours. She tells oodles of people from her friends at church to extended family members to my own siblings how she "never" has this or that, she's just so lonely, etc. Yet she will not take any opportunity (save for if she needs something) to come over. Before she moved here she spent literally decades talking about how she wanted to live closer to family and how fun it would be and she'd be over at homes visiting just like she had growing up. But she won't.
  15. We put a small addition on our house off the dining room - it's a lovely room with comfortable rocking chair, TV, window, etc. It's often been used by folks (including myself) who want to escape some of the goings-on and my mom herself has used it. So she knows we've set up our home for accommodating any range of personalities - living room for medium range sound/visiting; kitchen for louder visiting; addition for quiet visiting; outside in screened table area. But it's still not enough for my mom as what she wants is undivided, focus-on-only-her time.
  16. So I can see this (and what others have expressed), yet my mom has repeatedly stated to me and in front of my dc that she loves the busyness and noise. She grew up with oodles of family around and is never happier than when surrounded by people. She was invited back again today in a quieter situation as dd and her girls are still here. My mom refused. If I could chalk this up to the noise and crowd, it would be better. But she continues to extend invitations with wording like "exclusivity" and "private." We've had the loveliest day here and it's actually very quiet: oldest dd was making a shaped cake with the younger ones (who were crazy quiet) while 3 more took turns playing chess at the counter. Right now there is a quiet hum as they're in the living room together. It's not crazy, but it's "we" focused and not "her" focused, so she won't come over.
  17. I've not posted much about my mom lately because she's been rather quiet with us, yet there's still junk going on with my siblings and her (and indirectly with me), and I'm honestly just relieved that we're not on the receiving end of her anger and demands right now. She came over one day when 11 of the 13 were here (and her 2 great-grands), and despite being asked to please stay, she left - said she had phone calls to make. She came over again one night last week to use our phone as she thought she'd left hers at the grocery and wanted to call before driving the 1.2 miles over there. Our poor 11yod called me (at hockey with half the kids) in a panic - "WHY IS OMA HERE???" My mom left to get her phone, came back just as the clan was arriving home - kind of comical as she was standing in the driveway and 3 vehicles pulled up one right after the other. So we're all home and about to start what I call "Fellowship and Feasting Hour" - that time each evening when activities and work and outings are done, everyone is in the kitchen eating anything they can make or find, and for an hour we are together laughing and enjoying each other's company. It's the sweetest time, and often our young adults are there as well. So once again she was invited in and please have a seat, Oma, and told this is what happens for an hour...and she left. She just left - said she had things to do. So she was able to come over to use our phone, but wouldn't stay and visit. But today... I cannot wrap my brain around today. My younger sister, whom I have not seen since 2018, was coming into town. We've spent most of our adult lives not talking yet have reconnected since my mom moved here. Over the last year we have become very close as she had a major life change and has been purposeful in restoring damaged relationships. This is the sister who is most like my mom, yet unlike my mom she takes ownership for her anger and actions; she says she's wrong and sorry, and she means it. Two Christmas' ago, she and my mom (and my older sister) had the fight of fights - horrible, dreadful, angry fight that was fully my mom's fault. Since then my sister has been polite yet distant from my mom (and rightly so). So when my sister let me know she was coming into town, I asked her what her plan was as far as letting Mom know. My sister thanked me for not saying anything to our mom, and in her own time and way she did so herself - told our mom about the visit, when she'd be here (only for 24 hours), and that she'd be at our house and Mom was welcome to join us. Starting at about 5:00 Sunday night and going through almost midnight on Monday, my house has been a place of fellowship. Not only were all of my dc (and grands) here including the young adults, we did Zoom calls with the 3 college kids as well. It was nothing but laughter and food and non-stop talking. Kids of all ages were sitting wherever they could find a seat, running in and out with the youngest additions to the family (my 5-year old thinks it's cool that he is an uncle, lol), and the time was just precious. My sister apologized personally to each of my older dc for her truly horrid behavior toward them years ago, and relationships were both mended and made new. My mom never came over. She did, however, send my oldest dd a message asking to get together this week somewhere other than my house (dd is staying for 2 nights with us along with her little ones) so that my mom can "have some exclusive time" to get oldest great-grand to get to know my mom. My mom cannot stand it if grand/great-grand babies don't instantly adore her - she gets so offended. So instead of taking up oldest dd's invitation to come over while dd is staying here, my mom will only meet up with her elsewhere so she doesn't have to share the attention with anyone else, including her grandkids. My mom has given up seeing two of her own dc, 13 grands, and 2 great grands because she will not come over (unless it's to use our phone). I know this is once again long, but let me finish with this: Every second of the time my dc are together is precious to me. When the kitchen or living room (or both) are filled with dc ages 5-27, I want time to go slower, and I cherish every laugh and story being told and retold. When my oldest brings her littles over and we watch her siblings - now aunties and uncles - playing so sweetly with their nieces, doting on them and absolutely loving having little ones in the house again, that time is precious. And to have my sister and her husband, once estranged and now returned to fellowship with us, in the home sharing in the family dynamic...well, I didn't look at the clock all day/evening as I didn't want to see time passing. And my mom sat in her house 2 streets up. Now that my sister has left and everyone is sleeping in the house, I'm letting myself cry. A lot. Not because my mom is a wonderful person (not) and it just wasn't the same without her, but because she is missing everything despite having every opportunity to not miss anything. That's all. I just needed to write this out. For those who've followed this mama drama over the last few years, I guess you're not surprised. And I guess I'm not, either.
  18. Do you have a blacklight flashlight? If not, maybe get one and do a scorpion check inside and outside each night. We recently stayed in Phoenix and took our kids around the yard to find scorpions - it was crazy how many there were! On the block wall where our 12yos had been hanging out that afternoon, there were 4 on the wall face or in the cracks. Ick ick ick ick ick. Nasty buggers for sure. We used tall glass jars for the bed legs when we lived in the Valley and always checked shoes, kept things up off floors, etc. Ick...now I have the shivers.
  19. So I guess what I'm thinking is that everything would be on the assessment. So if my kids have covered Ancient History or Chemistry, great - they'd answer those questions to the best of their ability. Subjects they have not studied would get a box checked for not covered yet. It could even be the entire topic - Biology, for example. If Biology wasn't covered by us during the year, kids check the box that it wasn't covered, and so no questions would need to be answered for that subject. Once Biology is covered, kids answer the questions, hopefully show enough to show progress or whatever, then they don't have to go back and re-do that test (although subjects would have to be done again at different grade ranges, say K-3, 4-6, 7-9, 10-12). IDK exactly what it would look like, but I think Khan Academy's system could be used in some way. Homeschoolers used to have this requirement (or something close to it) in AZ - another reason why the term should not be used for an education option which most likely will have some form of assessment/checking put in place. The part about homeschoolers willing to sign off on anything...AZ ESA rules just changed so that parents can no longer get private evaluations for their children, rather they have to go through the school system (it's a bit more complicated than that, but there's the short version). Parents were yelling quite loudly, but the reality is that with not just 7K at stake, rather tens of thousands if one's child is diagnosed as special needs, there were a LOT of special needs students. I know one mom personally who worked to get her child who was mildly "behind" with reading a diagnosis, because once he had that label (and the extra funding), that would never change. It was appalling what she was coming up with and what the private evaluator (her friend) was doing. So yes, signing off on anything can be good, but it surely doesn't equate to true accountability (or honesty). 😞
  20. I wish there was an assessment test which was set up to show what has/has not been covered - this would be required as a baseline upon entering into an ESA contract. One option for answers would be "I haven't learned that yet." The results might be like Khan Academy's progress charts - squares filled in/highlighted upon completion of a topic or something like that. At the end of each year (date would be based on when the student signed up for the ESA), the test would be repeated to show both coverage of topics as well as how a student did with that topic. Parents and students could see areas that were covered well, topics they might not have otherwise thought to cover, and areas in which a student might need more instruction/help. The test would not be done at home, rather done through the school system for accountability and because I know our school district gets money for each ESA student, so why not have students schedule a time to take the test in the schools? In AZ there is nothing in place for assessment and there needs to be (for home educators - homeschoolers are still not included in all of this, thank goodness).
  21. This is very much what the back-and-forth discussion (or argument) is between the ESA proponents and the public school proponents (against the ESA, that is). ESA proponents point out the gross misspending of funds in the schools, the lack of good outcome, etc. And I agree, but what is the solution? There were parents in AZ who were livid as they shelled out $$ for back-to-school supplies even while ESA students were having $100 backpacks (true story) and pretty much anything one can think of paid for by public funds. I can see why parents are angry, and I can see other parents don't welcome the scrutiny for the ESA program. But again, is there a solution? The governor wants to roll back the program to pre-expansion levels which I'm guessing will never happen, but this is a growing issue and I don't see a happy outcome. Should the change come in the schools? Should everything ESA students have access to (including kayaks and espresso machines) also be provided to public and now private school students if requested? Should parents be given access to part of their public school student's funds so as to get swim lessons, sports fees/equipment, camps and such paid for? Should the requirement for teachers be the same for ESA as it is for public school? All of these questions are being thrown around here in AZ, sides are up in arms and yelling at each other, there is a rift in the community of those educating our children at home which I have not seen since I began homeschooling in 2000, and it's just a mess. This is why it was voted down twice - politicians on both sides recognized it as unmanageable, unfair, and unwise. And I don't have any good answers, so I hide in my little homeschool corner and watch this all unfold.
  22. I wonder if contacting WaPo would result in yet another article, this time from "seasoned" homeschoolers? Because it surely is a world of difference - those who've btdt for a decade or longer and those with kids age 6 and under.
  23. AFC (American Federation for Children) is a HUGE factor behind the ESA, and one of its goals is to get funding for all homeschoolers. Of course AFC doesn't give two hoots about the laws in each state, so the fact that AZ homeschoolers cannot receive a penny of funding doesn't matter to them. So I think homeschooling is a very large target not just for new homeschoolers but those who have been doing so for years and are now signing up for funding (but usually not dropping the appropriate title and adopting the correct one). Those "homeschoolers" I know have their kids in 5-6 different activities, none of them cheap, all of them paid for by the taxpayers, and they use Amazon workbooks for academics. They actually boast openly about how they aren't teaching history or science (this despite those subjects being required). Home educators, at least in AZ, are the main focus of the ESA, and those new to the program (pre-expansion) are showing the most entitled, self-centered, greedy kind of behavior. 😞 I do think private schools are also a target, but in AZ the pop-up schools are absolutely staggering. Micro schools, pods, learning centers - the ESA expansion unleashed these in a crazy way. Co-ops which would have previously been parent-led with a minimal facilities fee are now organized businesses with classes kids can take for hundreds if not thousands (not kidding - $1000/semester for a class on how to brew coffee). And there is nothing in place whatsoever to make sure taxpayer funds are being used wisely. Nothing.
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