Our youngest son's college begins the week before Labor Day, usually around the 23/24, and then ends the end of the second full week of December for 1st semester. The 2nd one begins around Jan 3-8 just depending on where the holiday falls, and goes to the last day of April. There isn't any consistency. None of the other universities in that same region started and ended on the same day for most of his first three years. This year they all managed to schedule commencement on the exact same Saturday.

Haven't read the whole thread, but here is my take. The school failed these kids in so many ways. The bully SHOULD have been taken care of before now, and they allowed it to escalate until your disabled child was physically assaulted and could have been very hurt. The only letter of apology that needs to be written is one from the principal and superintendent to your son and daughter. Your daughter was defending an innocent child from further assault, and had she not, your son could have been badly injured by this child. I have seen adults take down a perp who was assaulting someone else, and the perp got charged by the D.A., not those defending that human. To expect children to take this sh!t is beyond reason. And she didn't hit this kid because of his words but to prevent him from committing further violence against your son. I would literally be saying "f@ck you" to the school, and if they didn't like it, tell them you will be engaging an attorney to sue them for not doing more to protect your disabled son. Unfreakingbelievable. So sick of schools siding with the bullies.

Lewis would be thinking, "I am bored. Maybe I can sucker my person into taking me outside to play". Then there is dejection in his eyes when he finds out his person has things to do and is not staying outside so he can chase birds.

I could totally go for it. Our Dd was in a car accident this morning, very thankfully a minor one and no one is hurt but their other car was already in the shop for repairs so we have been working long distance to help them arrange temporary transportation, my sister had a major hiccup at the airport getting out of Paris, so my airport run to DTW that was supposed to be a reasonable pick up time, is now an 11 pm pick up which means getting back home at 1 am, and ds the college senior called to say he desperately needs a specific electronic part which Mark does have to be sent next day air to him because none of his professors - WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO PROVIDE THESE COMPONENTS IN THE FIRST PLACE - has one and the project is due Friday! So I hate today. I am willing to trash the day, and I would happily join WTM'ers in any tropical, far flung corner of the earth except of course I CAN'T because I have too be the one to hold everything together. Always the glue. Getting tired of being glue.

Speaking of hydrothermal wonders of Iceland, one of the funnest things from our trip was using the hot tub on the roof of the apartment we rented. The manager filled it from a hose. It was piping hot, too hot, and he had to add cold water so we could stand to be in it. Hot water is free. Paid for by taxes that set up the geothermal system. They have to pay for cold water because of the energy needed to cool it. It was amazing! Whenever I would wash dishes, it was astounding to me how hot that water was!

Egypt! Amazing. Highly recommend. Nile from a felucca at sunset.

I have PTSD too. My dad was positively evil and abusive to care for in the 18 months prior to his death. My mom refused to put him in a facility which probably would have drugged him, but I would have been fine with that. My sister lives in France so no help, my brother who was two blocks away became a ghost, and I got guilted into taking care of him because due to his cancer, though he should have been incarcerated for what he did, the law looked the other way so he could be dumped on us. So doing more care giving now, even though the mothers are not abusive or anything, is sucking the life out of me. This is why I have considered full time work and using the money to hire housekeepers, CNA's, companions, and drivers. It would probably end up taking every cent I make, but I do wonder if that would be better for my health.

Our bucket list is: Denmark New Zealand Thailand Yosemite N.P. (Mark had been, but I have not) Voyageurs N.P. Dry Tortugas Scotland Switzerland - Cern Super Collided because we are nerds 😁

The first two are of a felucca ride we took at sunset on the Nile. The second two are of Iceland.

This really can't be beat. One year I took my high school senior and junior on a college visit tour that included Michigan Tech. It was two weeks of Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Michigan schools in late September and early October. That far north their color was peak or near peak. Heaven. It was like being in heaven, just an explosion of color that was so satisfying. Other places: Iceland, Northern Lights Luxor, Egypt on the Nile. Lit up at night, the Nile is amazing. Our hotel was directly east across the water from Hatshepsut's Temple which is also lit. Paris, especially in the evening. We took a night cruise on the Seine. Maine. The coast of Maine in the Boothbay area just can't be beat in August/September.

Savings. I am not saying they deserve less lock down. Providing that IF the person doesn't need it in order to be safe is very very expensive. But whatever. The whole system is a mess and we are paying ungodly sums of money for incarcerate people sometimes unnecessarily. However, so don't have a dog in this fight either.

I think how we house and care for elderly, infirm prisoners is something this country really doesn't take the time to consider. One option might be a dedicated hospice facility with security, but not so much lock down, not so many guards, not so much overhead to operate (guns concertina wire, etc.), and then those that are chronic care or end of life go there. I think it would be cheaper but also isn't letting them out. Then it frees up a spot for an able bodied, younger threat to society to be kept for their full sentence like a car jacker. So basically a nursing home, hospice facility of minimum security which is way less expensive from what I am told than an infirmary in a medium or maximum security penitentiary. Only those who are not a threat because they are in such bad, physical condition, go there. And we may need to consider a dementia, lock down ward some place, possibly a stand alone facility because no matter what they did when they were sane, alzheimers is a whole different ball of wax, and requires people with training to manage, not prison guards even if they deserve to be in prison. I think looking at it from a wider lens, the impact of dementia riddled patients on prison staff not equipped to handle it, prisoners not convicted of violent crimes, etc. We need to consider that not everyone in prison is a murderer, rapist, arsonist, kidnapper so how we choose to handle these things has an impact on people who could be rehabilitated and returned to society. So many intricacies to consider.

I agree with this. 100%. The drug thing has been an excuse to build prisons and fill them. Ugh. Sure, I get it, the government is not a fan of drug users, and yes, they can cost the tax payer a bit of coin for their healthcare. On the other hand, they cost a LOT more to incarcerate, and if they didn't assault or kill someone or set fire to a building or whatever, wouldn't the money of incarceration be better spent on rehab and mental health assistance? We incarcerate way too many people in this nation.

I need to get one of these!!! 😂😂😂

Excellent question!!!

I was thinking of the case of dementia, terminal cancer, etc. these are people better served by a nursing facility that is less expensive to run than a prison infirmary, which as I understand it, is WAY more expensive to operate. I should have said that. I wasn't thinking of a prisoner still fit enough to do a lot of harm. So I was assuming someone who did not need to be guarded 24/7 until death. More of an "on hospice" type situation. I have heard of people costing the tax payers a gargantuan some of money for end of life and dementia care in prison that would cost less on the outside such as on hospice in a nursing home. I really didn't make my thoughts very clear. Sorry about that.

This is how it is here. Electrical journey men are the trades making serious cash. But the program is had to get into and hard to pass. So if one is not wanting the academic work and study of college, then don't even think about this one. Most of the local trades folks we know who do not have two and four year degrees live hand to mouth. They can't get hired at the commercial firms, and locally there isn't enough work to get forty hours a week because there are too many mom and pop trades workers. So yes, they can charge $50-100 an hour. On the other hand, many of them do not get more than 15-20 hours per work of work, and take overhead costs out of that, and self I employment tax (social security withholding is double), and they are not doing well. Most of them have a spouse working a professional job, someone who has a degree or got into the school district or hospital or whatever and has full time work that is reliable and health benefits. I know exactly ONE construction guy out of a plethora who managed to get in with a firm that has benefits and regular 40 hour a week employment. He doesn't even live with his family because it is a traveling job and his lodging is provided near the job site. He is home one weekend out of every four, and has three weeks paid vacation per year. He is a phantom to his kids. This stuff is very regional too. Some areas really do have people doing well in trades, and many of them without associates or bachelors degrees. Others not. My niece is in construction management. Man that woman is paid well! (Required a four year degree and her company does not employ anyone for this position without that degree.) Her benefits are great. On the other hand, she was assigned a two year project 550 miles from home. They pay for her apartment and her flights every weekend to go home and see her husband. But, they are spending two days a week together plus a couple of vacations for the next two years, and that is it. She has been informed, as well as her colleagues, that this is how it is going to be until they retire. The key with trades is the physicality of it. It is hard on the body, as a person ages, gets pretty darn tough to do, and often impossible before the person reaches the required retirement age to get SS and Medicare. These folks need to be in management at some point, but despite the years of experience, many will not be able to get management jobs without degrees because there is business accounting, and marketing knowledge that these companies and even small business owners want that the trade person doesn't often have. It just varies a lot, and people cannot predict the future. So I am always hesitant when someone proclaims the next big "Everyone should go into this because there are tons of jobs available." The other thing about trades is that licensing is not reciprocal between states due such a wide variance in building codes and public health and safety laws. So if one can't get work in their home state, it isn't like they can just go to where the jobs are plentiful.

Wow! So basically, don't regulate business because "capitalism" until business has a policy or makes a statement you don't like that hurts your feel feels, then do illegal things to them like strip them of copyrights though they have not committed copyright law infringement. Yep, they can take their cancel culture crap and stuff it where the sun doesn't shine.

Yes was just thinking about the woodworking and shop teacher at our high school. Mr. L. I never took one of his classes. But oy! Man did the girls fawn over him. If you have ever seen Matt Bromer on the tv show White Collar then you have seen the basic model of Mr. l. And he dressed smart! When it got to the place that he was concerned with just how hard a couple of girls were coming on to him, he went to the administration. They told him they would hire a teacher's aide so he would never have to be alone with students, but that he needed to " ugly up". 🙄 Seriously stupid school principal, call the girls and their parents into your office, have the school psychologist have a talk with them, tell them what the penalty is going to be for crossing the line. Don't tell a someone to "ugly up". Poor man did it. Started wearing ugly clothes and shoes, let his hair get scruffy, you name it. He took a contract at a different district the following year after only one year with ours. He was a very good teacher so it was a loss for the district. He was always a professional. There are some real gross ones out there. Dh's high school choir teacher fresh out of college, decided he had a thing for the choir accompanist (he was 23, and she was 16). He secretly dated her for two years, and some how managed to not be seen (so my guess is she lied to her parents a lot, and this was pre-internet and everybody has a cell phone so since it was a big city with lots of places to go and not be seen by locals, he was successful keeping it on the down low though the entire choir mumbled about it. She graduated, and they eloped three days after commencement. The administration did nothing. He and his fellow students/graduates had issues with it! Our culture is so messed about this stuff. Mary K LaTourneau comes to mind. How hard is it for adults to grasp "Don't have sex with kids", " Be a professional"? And as a caregiver, which teachers are a version of, how on earth does one even go there in their minds? These are your students, children entrusted to your care. Depraved is what it is!

This should be a billboard!

Same here. But the difference for me would have been mental health. I never enjoyed domesticity. It was something I endured for the sake of my family. We had a son with a health issue, we circled the wagons, needed to keep him healthy and out of school, etc. and it made the most sense for me to be the one to do it. However, I was carving out a serious career in piano performance right up until that time. It was VERY hard on me to give that up knowing that it would end any chance of doing the thing I had been obsessed with doing since I was four years old. I eventually came to grips with it, however I spent a lot of years soldiering on, doing it because it needed to be done, putting homeschooling well at the forefront, and doing all the tasks alone that prior to leaving my career, dh and I had shared, and getting exactly zero fulfillment and satisfaction in life because it did not fit my personality at all to be the sahm. And of course the outcome is that now, facing an empty nest, I have no career to go back to, and exactly zero way of rebuilding it because if you don't have your career as a pianist carved out when you are young NO ONE is interested in you 2-3 decades later. I sacrifice big, and in a way that my husband can never understand, and watched him climb up the ladder of success for years while crying into my pillow. He is a wonderful, wonderful man and my best friend so the relationship is solid despite this. But weighed down now with elder care stuff while he keeps working just makes me depressed. I hate it with the fire of a thousand suns, and resent it. I am seriously considering going back to work full time, to do ANYTHING not even sure I care, and then use the money to pay for care givers and drivers for the elders so I can have a few years of doing something that challenges my brain and isn't entirely counterintuitive to my own natural personality.

Off topic, but it gripes my cheese a little at how our system is set up. My generation has to work to 67 to draw full SS and everyone has to work to 65 because of health insurance. But, 401K draws can be made at 59.5 without tax penalty. Why not start Medicare at 59.5 with a premium like $300-400 a month? It gets people into the system sooner and while not as sick as elderly folks and older senior citizens tend to be so the money would help shore up the system, and when people retire they free up higher paying jobs, usually, for middle aged folks who have been waiting on promotions, who then free up jobs for the younger ones, who free up jobs for the newbies. For that matter, why not have a buy in to Medicare even sooner. Years of younger, healthier persons paying into the system is a big help. Employers can offer Cadillac policies that have perks like "providing a private duty nurse" or whatever in order to woo or keep high value employees they need. Maybe the people against universal healthcare would get on board because people have to pay to get into the system. (Even though they pay now, every single week, called taxes.) As for dh, he isn't the kind to let the grass grow under his feet. He definitely needs to end his high stress, long hours job at 62 if we can possibly manage the insurance issue, but he plans on opening a side business with his woodworking. He is an amazing cabinet maker and loves woodworking. So he will earn some money on the side and continue working just on a schedule of his own making, doing something really enjoyable.

Yes. I forgot to mention up top that my father in law retired at 55 when his brother came down with brain cancer and was dying. His sister in law was pretty unable to care for herself (brother was very controlling and she had been married off at sixteen so she didn't drive, had never gone grocery shopping alone, had never managed family finances, you name it). His nephew was getting married and expecting a child. So he discussed it with mom in law who was a professor of nursing, and she felt that they could afford for him to retire to care for brother and help sister in law get on her feet while she kept working. Within a couple of years, his parents' health tanked, and they moved next door. So with a widow to assist plus elderly parents and someone needing to coordinate everything, it just wasn't feasible to go back to work unless help could be hired, and help for two homes would have cost enough that he wouldn't have been making much since his former job working at a non-profit was not high pay.

And this is why I eventually became a fan of elopements, grab the friends and go to Vegas, whatever. It is impossible these days to make people happy. While in the "old days" due to social decorum and politeness, people would have kept their snarks to themselves, it isn't that way now. Brides and grooms get this backlash all.the.time. I have seen so many couples just miserable on their wedding days because people are so mean, and family fights, and divorced relatives angst, and just all kinds of shocking behavior. Bad behavior is acceptable now, and practically even celebrated.

I know of several women who went back to work when their husbands retired early. My uncle retired when he had his thirty years in at the state hospital and could draw his pension. He drove my aunt nuts! LOL, I think she lasted one week with him under foot before she hit the pavement looking for a job, and then she worked 15 years before retiring. My car insurance agent went back to work as soon as her husband retired from teaching. She is enjoying it, and again, a couple not suited to spending that many hours a day together with the kids grown. They do not have any mutual interests or activities. My grandfather had a major heart attack and had to retire at 52. My grandmother, 46, went back into the work force and stayed until she was 62. They had an excellent relationship at the time, but really could not afford to be without his income so soon. He gardened and cooked, simply because he wasn't particularly good at it, but still he usually managed to produce something reasonably edible when she got home from work. My friend C, like me is four years younger than her husband. He is retiring in four years because the pressure is amping up and he has developed a health issue. She is trying to find a job that provides health insurance so she has coverage. She does have a PHD, and is published in her field, and very happy to manage a lab, so I think she will find something. I have been back at it since youngest graduated four years ago, and also back in college very part time in aerospace engineering. I am not planning on finishing an aerospace degree, just was finishing a minor in science to tack onto my music degrees, and studying aerospace for the fun of it. I am mostly involved in music - where I can because the pandemic gutted my regular fine arts job - but I do have an aerospace education event in the summer that I was hired to coordinate. If I could find something with insurance and our 401K was where we wanted it to be, I would be happy for dh to get out of the rat race. But he has amazing employer matching, and that is a lot of retirement money to give up. My goal is to have something with insurance by the time he is 62 so he can relax, however I don't know if that will be possible. I have considered taking a 4H extension program director job. It would come with benefits. It is also a high stress job because lots of politics, and well, I hate to say it but a lot of high drama parents. We will see.