Excellent explanation! It does get old living in a culture that insists on pegging everyone into a belief system.

I-69 in Michigan I tell you!!!!

I hear you on that one! Ya. Sigh. I can honestly say that is not why I deconverted, but it does influence how I feel about socializing with religious folk.

To be honest, I see this a lot among strict adherents...immense pressure if not demands for baptism, membership, etc. on their teens and adult offspring even if they clearly do not believe. It seems entirely antithetical to what the beliefs are on paper, especially for the public display of belief folks. Ugh. I am deconverted and my mother still thinks that if I am visiting her house, I should say grace. I finally said, "Why mom? If you truly believe what you believe, then you are asking me to perform a lie. I do not believe there is a god listening to prayers and intervening on human behalf. You do. You are asking me to break one of your own commandments, and using emotional manipulation to try to road me into it. How is that Christian?" I have since told her that if she continues, I will no longer eat any meals with her. It is so profoundly offensive. I still can't figure it out. Is trying to force other people to pray or act like they believe some sort of "fake it until you make it" kind of Christian mentality? I don't get it. She has backed down. I have tried for so long to be gracious with her. She is almost 79 now, a traumatized widow, and an elderly person with some issues from the long covid isolation. But enough was enough. I couldn't take it anymore. So ya, I have serious issues with folks who pressure their kids and relatives to pretend to go along with their beliefs in order to keep the peace or maintain the relationship.

Raised United Methodist, married a Free Methodist, and spent most of our married years bouncing between the two as we moved around the country. I was even eligible for ordination in the F.M. due to extensive theological training in college, but wasn't interested. I have since deconverted and am best described as agnostic. Dh is best described as extremely progressive christian, but anti-organized religion as it exists in America with all of its meddling in politics. We make it work very well. On Sundays, he streams a little ELCA church service from a rural hamlet in Kansas whose pastor is down to earth, loving, non-divisive, anti-political, and very Jesus like. I actually find her to be a bit of fresh air so to speak so sometimes I join him which makes him happy. We raised all our kids in church, it was central to our lives, but once high school aged they were never required to participate, and there was zero change in the way we treated them if they chose not to do so. Eldest is a deist, next oldest is atheist, middle of the three boys and youngest are just like their dad, think organized religion is pretty evil, but still believe in the teachings of Jesus and have podcasts they watch on a variety of theological topics and occasionally meet with like minded colleagues for discussions. Neither of the two that remain progressive Christians are willing to attend a church or give money to one. They do have a list of non-profit organizations that they support. My last job was as a director of community fine arts, and the program was hosted and housed by the UMC in the county seat though it was largely secularly supported, and my office and all the classes, art shows, musicals, plays, and concerts occurred in their church. My office was next to the pastor's. We got along great! I appreciated his very inclusive, non judgmental mindset. Sadly, the foundation closed the program due to covid, and opted not to re-open. 😭 My sister who is 14 years younger than me was raised much more strictly. My parents left the UMC and went to an independent, very fundamentalist church. It had a profound, negative effect on her. She eventually deconverted, became agnostic, and is now atheist. Our older brother is still a christian but does not hold most of our parents' beliefs and attends an independent, fully inclusive, very progressive church. Of his five children, two are deists, two are atheists, and one is wiccan. Three attended a conservative, Baptist school K-12, and the youngest two were home schooled with Christian curriculum until 7th grade and then attended public school. I think my mom struggles some with the fact that non of children or grandchildren believe what she believes.

Absolutely agree.

I need to also say that I think the Honeycrisp did so well because we had more pollinators than any previous year. I have been cultivating a large patch of milkweed pod, and we observed the UK "No Mow May" for the dandelions even though it was not observed on any wide scale in our state. We have had a bumper crop of bumblebees plus we have seen honeybees and butterflies. I had two actual monarchs this year, and was so happy since their numbers are dangerously low here.

Agreed. They have a household rule, "under my roof, go to church", and that includes visitors so as a result, none of their out of town relatives visit them. It is a very fundamentalist view here. Lots of families have that rule. I certainly think it is damaging to relationships.

We have acquaintances with two college -aged adult kids who live at home and commute to school, they have campus jobs and don't earn enough to pay for their car insurance and gas while also paying rent. But their parents told them that if they didn't pay rent then they have to attend church every Sunday and would need a doctor's note in order to miss church. Then they were shocked when the kids moved out, got roommates near campus, and increased their work hours which had hurt their grades some, but they are still doing okay. I really don't understand what is accompolished spiritually by requiring church attendance from people once they are that age. We still were attending church while the kids were in high school, but never required it after the age of 14. It seemed to be quite a good way to alienate teens and hurt the relationship.

We are in harvest season here in Michigan. My garden produced a LOT of cherry tomatoes and tomatillos, a bunch of salad greens, some broccoli, basil, garlic, dill and two peppers. The peppers did not do well, and the eggplant never did anything no matter how much babying and care I gave. From my favorite farm and orchard store, I bought 20 heads of broccoli in addition to the eight small heads I grew, a bushel of Roma tomatoes, a bushel of green beans, a half bushel of red peppers, a dozen jalepenos, and a half bushel of Brussels sprouts. The dehydrator seems to be running non stop with red peppers and cherry tomatoes. I cut up, blanched, and froze all the broccoli, and have frozen the Brussels too. I have dried my garlic, used a ton of basil fresh and am going to try to keep basil alive as a house plant because I am addicted to having fresh on hand. Half the green beans were canned in pint jars, and half frozen. I have canned the Roma's either plain for chilli and pasta sauce bases, or as salsa. The jalapenos were canned in half pint jars with the tomatillos and other ingredients so I have salsa verde on hand. I also blanched two bushels of corn, cut it off the cob, and froze it. Next up, I have a bushel of apples from apple tree - honeycrisps cross pollinated with the cortland. The Cortland produced very few apples, but the honeycrisp did well though the apples are small. The flavor is very nice. So I am going to make a lot of apple chips in the dehydrator. I will soak in a little lemon water and sprinkle with a little cinnamon sugar. I will store them in quart jars with a silicate packet. I am not sure how many jars I will get. The apples are smaller than previous years - very dry summer and I only gave them limited irrigation because I was focusing on the raised beds, and being mindful of water consumption - and that makes it harder for me to estimate. I picked blueberries this year, and have several quarts frozen for scones, pancakes, and topping oatmeal. Most of them were wild berries from state land. Due to the dry season, blackberries were almost non existent. I am going to try to store spaghetti squash for winter. The basement here has a cold spot that is almost the exact right temp. So I have a couple of crates lined with newspaper and filled with sawdust waiting for them. I have no idea if it will work.

I do this a lot. Chicken thighs are a cheaper cut of meat here, and I can do one per person for the really hungry folks, and one for Mark and I to share. Thin cubed zucchini, plus thin sliced carrots, and some chunks of onion will cook at about the same speed with quartered small to medium potatoes or baby reds. I toss the veggies in olive oil, cumin, tummeric, and mix with fresh minced garlic, sprinkle a light amount of salt, and then do something similar to the thighs, or do a little apple cider vinegar, olive oil, and spices for the thighs. The apple cider vinegar is a nice tender user and leaves a bit of tang which we enjoy. I usually do 425F which would be 218C. I would love to hear what veggies and seasonings you use!

Our children were never, at any time in their minority, going to either set of grandparents. As a matter of fact, not to any family members either. We asked a set of very trusted friends to take them, and we also were in their will for their children. We were both in the same boat of not being willing to subject our kids to some of the things we had suffered as kids or were worried about grandparent health. Interestingly, my parents were livid that we didn't choose them even though when I was a child, the guardians set forth in their will were my godparents NOT any relatives. Our kids are all adults now. But, one thing we haven't changed is that my eldest nephew is the executor of our estate in the event we both pass. He is so good at stuff like this, and our kids trust and love him. This takes a lot of pressure off them at a time when they will be grieving. We have it set so he can take a small salary from the estate for his efforts. He is in full agreement.

I love them with lentils. I seem to have unusual taste buds within my family who mostly loves heavy cuisine, and favors the million flavors of cheese produced by France! 😂 But I fell in love with Middle Eastern/North African cuisine when we were in Egypt, and tend to reproduce that a lot at home. Stuffed peppers are my favorite though I do enjoy stuffed eggplant. I have never tried riced cauliflower this way so now I am intrigued.

Stuffed peppers. When dh and I are alone, I make stuffed bell peppers with rice, onion, garlic, basil, salt, and black pepper, and just an ounce or two a piece of ground meat or pulled pork. Sprinkle parmesan on or add sauteed mushrooms if you like those. Light but filling, and healthy.

Bookbard, I am so sorry to hear those numbers. I agree the numbers should be absolutely shocking and folks should be appalled! However, the apathy is amazing. The US has just over 93,000,000 cases as of last Friday, and over 1,000,000 dead. A million, and an estimated 23,000,000 with long covid! Staggering. But in my area, we are pretty much the last family we know of who actually cares. These people will keep on acting recklessly, and then when they lose a loved one to it or end up caring for someone with long covid, act dense about it as if the fact that this could happen was a total surprise/unknown. 😠😠😠 Add monkeypox, polio, and an upcoming flu season to the mix, bird flu here in Michigan and just waiting for that to mutate to people, and I am wondering about the virtues of off grid homesteading and vanlife camp lifestyle. Enjoy nature while shunning society.

For our Dd who was not recovering well from covid, it was a matter of serious bed rest. I and other family members have been caring for our grandsons, taking care of their home, and keeping her down all summer. High nutrition density foods have been a focus plus sunshine, fresh air - often we stuck her in a chaise on the deck when the temperature and humidity level was comfortable - and just rest. She had had a high leafy green diet, anything high in vitamin c, and low inflammation producing protein sources. No sugar. Fruit yes, but no added sugars or sweeteners not even honey. She has recently been released to begin light activities. We hope in a month that if our son in law can manage laundry and housework on the weekends, it will be okay for her to take care of the kids with life slowly getting back to normal. It has been 3 months. But, everyone in the family is committed to doing this again if she shows even the slightest hint of relapse. One of her brothers was there on duty last week while dh and I took a much needed vacation. He took everyone to the lake and put her in an inner tube to float around for the evening. She loved it, and even sat on the beach and helped her oldest build a sand castle. He did a lot of the work, but did a little while her brother kept the 2 year old busy. The doctor is very pleased with her progress.

We have a lot of the same thoughts. We came through attending ds's graduation ceremony April 30 because case load in our area was super duper low, and the same where he was. We masked with KN95. Since then we have been outside a lot because our Michigan summer has been very pleasant. We mask if we go into a store, but no one else is. Now with all the tourist crowds, restaurants packed, and people just throwing all caution entirely to the winds, cases are climbing rapidly with the state up to almost 6500 per day. Our summers for 2020 and 2021 were better than that which makes me think autumn is going to be out of control once school resumes. Colleges begin next week with freshmen moving in this week. I just can't imagine the numbers by Christmas. Less than half of my county is vaccinated. I think we will be back to shunning humanity. We decided yesterday to have immediate family only Christmas, and booked a centrally located ski condo for the holiday so everyone can do something they love that is pretty safe, skiing, and enjoy a beautiful landscape. Just us, our adult kids, grandsons, the grandmothers, and that's it. My brother, who prefers the huge Christmas celebrations of old with all the cousins and now 2nd cousins (great nieces and nephews) all together, is NOT happy with us. And Mark's brother is not thrilled because he wanted us to come to S.C. and have Christmas with he and his adult kids, grandkids, and his in-laws. Nope. To be honest with a third Christmas in a row done downsized significantly, I think this will be the new normal. The grandmother's have aged so much and their health deteriorated in this time frame. They don't have it in them to do the 25-40 person get together any longer. The window of opportunity to do one last big celebration like that has closed. Covid has stolen a lot from people. Mother in law is not stable at the moment, and Mark and his brother discussed what to do. His brother is very traditional, but also admits that having a public funeral is a bad idea. The church she is associated with has 220 people, and is a covid denying/political hoax group despite the fact that they have lost 9 people to covid, and have four families with a long covid member. She only attends in the summers when they have outside activities and an outdoor service. The polio issue concerns me a lot because these folks are also, by in large, anti-vax. Therefore, the consensus is that the funeral will be private only. My mom, mil's best friend, us, his brother and wife, grandkids and great grandkids. No pastor.

Dh and I do this together. We are fantastic whimsical travelers when we don't have others along. The year dh retires, we are spending a month road tripping out west. We have some bucket list places to see, but no timing, no agenda, no need to get to point ABC by certain times, and will just meander along stopping wherever we find something interesting. We will have the camp stove, table top grill and Rtic cooler along, bags of snacks. It is quite doubtful we will eat at regular times, and mostly never at restaurants unless something really calls out to us, something unique or if it were raining and storming so hard, so long that we needed to abandon picnic ideas. It is a very relaxing way to travel. When I was in 2nd grade (my brother in 6th), my parents decided to road trip to Maine and back, going through Ontario and Quebec on the way, and then through Vermont, etc. coming home. There was no agenda. None. We turned out for tons of historical markers, beautiful scenery, you name it. They had the Beauville van converted for van camping. My mom went down to the school and told them she needed our books because she wasn't sure when we would get back. LOL, the teachers didn't even question it. Ended up being out of school 4 weeks! Mom home schooled us in the van while dad was driving, and we ended up ahead of our classmates when we got back. Apart from potty breaks for us, they didn't even worry about mealtimes because mom kept the cooler filled with fruit, veggies, cheese, sandwiches made the night before when we stopped, etc. and beef jerky, crackers, trail mix, and pretzels were always at the ready. My brother and I were really easy going travelers so it all worked our fantastically. We spent one week in Boothbay, Maine. Best vacation of my entire childhood which is saying a lot my parents traveled with us a ton. So I say go for it. Just do it. I think you will love it. Bring a friend who knits, hand quilts, reads, etc...someone who won't mind long periods of time sitting in a lawn chair doing their thing next while you go hiking.

I can do this. I had a very robust geography class in college many moons ago and retained some of it. Facts about the cities that are based on current information would be out of date especially India. I am able to place Calcutta, Mumbai, and New Delhi. But I am not too up on current events so facts would be more related to info back from 1985 when I had the class. I am only about 65% accurate placing African and Asian countries on a blank global map. I do well with some of the Pacific rim countries, and very well with North Africa, but I have been to Egypt three times, and know several people with D.O.B in the region so that makes it easier to remember. I also know a little bit about Western Africa particularly Togo and Nigeria. My parents traveled there a good bit. So for instance, I can place Togo on a map, and the cities of Lome and Kpalime. As a general rule though, most geography coursework in American classes is integrated into history and does not focus on the rote memorization of where things not American are. My brother in law in France says his childhood education focused of course on France and areas of French colonialism, oh and the French kings a litany he describes as "Charlemagne, some kings probably named Louis because France couldn't think of anything else who'd come between, William the Conqueror, Britain is bad, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Henry, not fond of the British, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Charles, Louis, Louis, Louis, endless Louis, and then finally Napoleon, war, war, war, war, war." 😂😂😂 To hear him talk, one would think this is ALL that was covered, and that 99% of all French Kings were named Louis. I am fairly certain it was probably more in depth than that. He just doesn't have much good to say about his history classes however. It did not involve much about any non-French colonial and non -European nations. I think this is pretty common for many countries. What is the history and geography they want their citizens to know? Their own. That is the priority.

We have two. One is a Coast Guard first aid kit that we were given. Really nice. And the other is a hiking kit that I repacked so I could make room for Dh's epipen. I do keep bandaids, hydrocortisone cream, and triple antibiotic in our beach and kayaking bag.

They were still giving oral polio vax when my older two boys were getting their infant/toddler/preschool vaxes. Their paternal grandfather had cancer and was taking chemo and radiation. We were heavily involved in his life at the time so our pediatrician delayed any vaccines that had a shedding danger. After he died, we had to schedule catching up. I am grateful that our ped was on top of that and knew the danger to grandpa. It would have been horrible if the kids had taken polio to him or something else, and also horrible if they had been vaxed, and then we were told they had to stay away. Time was limited, and we were trying to make memories with grandpa in the hopes the kids would remember him.

Thanks for the information. It ie getting to the place I feel like we have to hold our breath everywhere or drown ourselves in bleach. It just gets so old. And I feel it so much. I am 54 and basically parenting a 6 year old and 2 year old while juggling two, elderly mothers in need of attention. Having so much upheavel in public health complicating every decision I make trying to keep everyone reasonably healthy/safe is wearing me down. I think we will continue for now, and just keep him distanced from other kids. When he practices after his lesson, he is in a lap lane, and they let me stay in the water at the end of the lane with C so I can keep coaching N. We really do a good job of not being in physical contact with the other kids. When N is tired, he just hangs on the side and gets his breath. He doesn't get out and sit on the bleachers. Hopefully we are doing enough. I have a waterproof bag that I keep the towels in so they can't touch other towels if kids come running near. I will make up some bleach cloths, and remember to wipe down the bag before we get our towels out, then use a clean bleach cloth to wipe down our hands, then get the towels out, dry off, go sit in the sun, then wash the bag and everything in it when we get home.

Does anyone know what the risk is in swimming pools? Our grandson is taking his level 4 swimming lessons as well as some dive lessons. The instructor still has small groups, usually only 5-7 children at a time and enforces social distancing. Of course the pool is chlorinated. He and I do not use the changing room. We arrive in swim gear, and then towel off afterward, sit outside for a few minutes in the grass to dry a little bit more, and then we get into the car still rather damp. I am hoping that is a significant reduction in risk, however am considering canceling the rest of his lessons if cases go up in the area. I am so very tired of this. Weary beyond words. My grandsons need to be able to do things. N is very advanced for his age, and is really headed towards competitive swim. Frankly, he benefits greatly from the structure and instruction from someone besides me or his mom. It is going to be devastating if I have to take this away. Dd is mostly out of the woods with long covid. It seems that getting her on bed rest right when there was some concern that she might develop that has worked. But, we are still forging through with her regimen until September just to be sure. It has been so much upheavel for my grandsons. Swim is so vital right now. They look forward to it every week. I pay the pass for C and I to swim in the non instructional pool while his older brother has lessons, and then N joins us for another hour and gets in a lane and practices. I am don't want to think what is going to happen if I take this away, and especially so for N who will have to take level 4 again in the future if he can't complete the class and take his swim test for promotion. Any advice?

This! I have had my health wrecked at times trying to be a staff to elderly relatives that need a staff. One person can't, and shouldn't do it all. My father was one of four, and by the time their mother had her stroke, the other three were disabled or had major health conditions that precluded them being involved in her care. My mom was in her very early 50's and very healthy so she tried to care for her. Two years later her health was wrecked, and that had now been passed on to me to deal with. Grandma went to a nursing home, but now with a brother that had had a heart attack and stroke, and a sister living in France, it falls on me, and the expectation that I will do this is HUGE! Absolutely gigantic. Dh is one of three, and the other two do not contribute to their mother's care, and live out of state. We are absolutely squashed, and all of this started while we still had kids in high school. I am soon concluding a two month of period of caring for DD while she recovers from a bad covid case that looked like it was going to blossom into long covid if she didn't get intensive rest. I am wiped out. I can't keep going 24/7. Dh told his mother that from now on, except to driving her to her medical appointments, everything I have been doing for her MUST be hired done or doesn't get done. If she won't spend her money on that, then she has to go to a nursing home now. This week she hired two teen girls to do her housework weekly, and someone to cook her evening meals. I put my foot down a while back about all the lawn care because dh works so many hours that I was doing that too. Both mothers have hired people to take that over. Thankfully, mom is going through a period of being very stable and physically energetic so I am not having to worry about that. Having gone through this, I will NEVER ask my kids to take care of me. I can't imagine putting them through that. As for generation size, my mom was one of 3, and her mom was one of 17. Her father was 1 of 5. They had 3 children, and none of the 17 nor of the 5 of the previous generation had more than 3 children, and most had 2 with some never marrying and having any. My sons are committed to not having any children. My sister is not having children. My brother did have 5, 2 whom are not having children. 1 has 3 children. And the other 2 have 2 children each and took permanent measures to prevent more. On dh's side his paternal grandfather was an only child, and his grandmother one of four. His father was one of 1 of 3 in the next generation, the eldest had 2 children, the middle had 2 children. Of those 7 grandchildren, 3 chose not to have any. The rest had anywhere from 4 to 1 a piece. The vast majority of my son's friends have decided not to have children, and many have even chose sterilization already. I suspect that there will continue to be significant population decline in the US now that immigration is so tight, and reproductive rights have been infringed in such a way that proper prenatal care is not a thing in some regions.

Yes, high ammonia levels cause altered mental status. We deal with this with.mil from time to time.