Thanks! I appreciate the advice. I am so excited about this because we are building 12 beds, and I have enough wood refuse to do the bottoms of all of those beds. I would so much rather use it in an environmentally healthy way to grow food than burn it.

I am so sorry, Gardenmom. It is not a good sign that his first act home was to solve his anger at being left by major property destruction. I am so glad she and the kids are currently safe, and you have the means to provide for them during the transition.

Question because you all know everything, and I know nothing. I have a lot of sticks and rotting logs left over from an old ash tree attacked by the emerald ash borer which killed the tree. The logs ate basically "gopher wood" so not good for heating, mostly campfire wood. I also have a ton of sticks from a variety of pines, maples, and oaks from the yard. Could these woods be used to fill the bottom of my raised beds, and then covered with top soil and compost as a sort of long term rotting/nutrient producer/huglekulture (sp?) quasi set up? There would still be roughly 18" of soil. I was thinking this might be more environmentally friendly than burning the brush pile. We can't put pine in he wood boiler. I could feed the oak to it though. It also occurred to me that if 18" of soil is not enough, since the raised beds aren't built yet, so could plow up the ground a bit where they are going to go so that the logs/sticks are maybe 6" into the ground, then set the raised bed over it and fill so there would be 24" ish of soil. Thoughts?

Thanks for the support. There is much relief all around!

Mushroom barley! I miss barley so much!

Oh my gosh! I am snickering and shouldn't be! Don't feel bad though. Hitting a cow is like hitting a brick wall. I hope you find the owners soon.

Gee thanks for the kind words of support when so was excited that my grandbaby was strong enough to come home. 🙄🙄🙄

Yay! That is awesome. Thanks for relieving all the stalking around here. 😁 Congrats and best wishes!!!!

Maybe the fine print on the lease is pending I come verification and credit check. Sometimes that happens here. The property manager wants to tie up the potential tenant, but has an out if they think that person won be able to pay rent, especially of they think the tenant might be super responsible and not damage the place.

The problem is, not divorcing is also fraught. In my state if she remains married and he hurts the kids, she can also be charged and lose them to foster care. Parents cannot win when it comes to safety, sigh. On top of which, without the divorce, he can bankrupt them on the drugs, especially when income is considered joint marital property. The safe parent just has so little protection. I agree that the best advice is a cut throat, top notch, local attorney,

Awwwww, he is so cute! Congrats!

Tooth brush and toothpaste. If you are there a long time, it is so nice to freshen up especially of labor progresses through bedtime and you are used to brushing at night.

Gardenmom, I am so damn sorry. He definitely sounds to me like he is going to choose the drugs over his family, his life. Once an adult makes that choice, I am convinced that all people can do is get the hell out of the way. But, the silver lining here might be that he will welcome a divorce, and not want custody or visitation because the money and time spent would detract from getting high. I have seen that scenario play out. The addiction jus wanted to be free and once free, never gave another thought to carrying out he nefarious plans because he didn't need to kill his family in order to be free to live his addiction. So maybe there is a little hope for her safety in that regard.

Gardenmom, what condition is he expected to be in when he is released from rehab or has he already been released? I am concerned about him knowing the lay out of the house in which she resides.

Oh good grief. Of all the stupid sh!t to decide to take kids away over meanwhile actual criminals get to keep their kids. My niece refused rabies shots when her child was exposed. No consequences. But hell, co-sleeping is a bridge too far. The lack of common sense in this nation is STAGGERING!

Agreed. It is natural to want to blame the stupid people who aid and abet the situation, but it doesn't get you anywhere, and expense energy elsewhere. Tell her attorney, let he or she decide if any formal complaints should be registered, and them do it. Use your energy to assist Dd in getting out, and trying to keep the kids safe. If professionals are saying he is an addict, then he probably is one, and all she can do is try to protect her income from him so she and the kids have it to live on. And again, should he get sober, stay sober, demonstrate mental stability, do the work to become a safe, loving person in the future, she can then consider her options. He has to do the work though.

None. Seriously. I am not kidding. You can lodge a complaint. We did when a psychiatrist told my dad he should be allowed to move home and LIVE with our mother whom he tried to kill, albeit while on singular which made him suicidal and experiencing pareneoplastic syndrome. He was brain damaged and still very unstable, but he cared only for the comfort of his patient and not the safety of anyone else. Nothing was done. Nothing. Still practicing to this day.

Depends on the state but usually no. This is because the forfeiture of guns is related to committing a crime not the actual threat of bodily harm. 2A trumps safety every time. Also, no one comes for the guns when they are ordered to be surrendered. Ask me how I know! Yep, we took my dad's guns after he tried to kill himself and my mom. The D.A. threatened us with theft. We said, "Speak to attorneys because if you try it, we are going to interview with the county newspapers and Detroit News, and tell them all about it. It is an election year for you. See how that goes!" And he backed down. But when the court ordered them to be removed, not a single a single cop came to get them. There was ZERO follow through. They don't have the manpower because seizing guns doesn't make the state money, but putting everyone on traffic duty to write tickets does. I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings on this, but your daughter has NO protection under the law. It is entirely reactionary, after the fact. If he kills her and the kids, then there is the inevitable shrug of the shoulders and the wringing of hands because a lot of dead people is better than regulating guns better. Always. Sorry. She has to get out and a long way away from him if he is going to be released to his home after rehab. And then you just hope hat if he does not recover his senses, a divorce and sole custody to her is awarded, and he doesn't have the gumption to go after her from afar. I wish I had better news. But I have lived the nightmare, and have nothing good to report.

The green eyed monster of envy would like to say that having conversed with its sister who resides in Nice, France and discovered that said sibling has tiny tomato plants already growing in the apartment/condo, soon to be set out in her community garden patch, has set off a hatred of Michigan winter stronger than ever before felt by the monster who has historically enjoyed four seasons. 😫 Oh and sage, rosemary, thyme, basil, oregano, green bean, mini zucchini, spaghetti squash, and leeks as well. All of that. Now. In the Mediterranean. Sun. Blue skies. Blue water. Flowers blooming. Free community compost. How exactly is she living my monster's best life? 😵

Okay, I have ground Ceylon here. I don use cassia anymore either except in stick form when making seasonal decorations. It never occurred to me to look for the quills. Thanks!

He has been in the NICU for 3 weeks and 3 days. He has been taking his entire feedings for the last 48 hours by bottle and nursing (he takes roughly an ounce, nursing with a shield and then the rest by bottle) so they are pulling his NG tube. They are testing him in his car seat today and as soon as he can pass that test, he can come home! Yesterday his 7 year old brother, N, went to the hospital and read books to him. It was so sweet! N also took his savings (about $30 ) to the hospital, unbeknownst to his parents, and tried to give it to the nurses as a thank you for taking such good care of his brother. Melted my heart!!! The nurses thanked him but said that he should take it home with him because they are well paid, and his thanks plus seeing T go home is all the gratitude they need. Dd cried. So precious. Little T is soon coming home. Sigh. I think my worry level just dropped exponentially.

Yes, this! You must spill how you are getting it so we can live vicariously through the OP or go find it ourselves! 😀

My mom purchased a plot next to her husband. Sadly, she also isn't going to be leaving behind any money for the rest of the burial costs. It is so expensive in our area. Dh and I will be stuck with it, so I informed my sister and brother - who will not be contributing - that she will have to be cremated, and we will just pay for the simplest headstone/ engraved marker. By the time she passes, burial even direct burial without preservation will cost $8500.00. It is upwards of $12,000-15,000 if embalming and a funeral with a luncheon is done. Rural area with very few funeral homes so they can charge huge prices due to lack of competition. So if you can, prepay all of the other things like grave opening and closing, crypt, headstone, whatever you can if you want to be buried relieving the family of that burden or having to make the choice to possibly not even use the plot.

I didn't like having to give the trophy to Maize due to the sh next matter, but also felt the need to indicate she is spot on with her comment.

This. It is very creepy to me, and when our dd was 16-18 years of age, many parents of teen and young twenty something sons were quite in our face about her being such good marriage material. It was so revolting. She was not a piece of meat to us, a piece of property to be acquired by a male raised to think he can't be single and be whole. Ugh. I was so glad when she went to college, and we eventually left that group and never looked back. I am still creeped out by the obsession with marriage being the fundamental consideration for young people's social lives. I am 100% team "No Mr. Wickhams!" Rosie always nails it!