I mean, if my kid had spent weekends and holidays (sans parents) regularly at aunts house, and aunt had always been respectful and supportive of our different worldviews, and aunt had proven a trustworthy ally in strengthening/supporting the parent-child bond, then I could chalk it up to navigating new young adult relationship awkwardness. I would not react well if there was a whiff of undermining my relationship with my own child.

My dd has done Write Storybooks for Children online course. My MIL got it for her, a lifetime subscription using a coupon code. Dd seemed to like it.

Is anyone else googling the thalidomide documentary? Love this thread.

Gorgeous pics and gorgeous girl! Thanks for sharing.

I think that if I'd just been making a very big effort to respect their worldview, at their specific request, especially in regards to how they raise their child, and they didn't even mention (awkwardly avoiding by the sounds of it) asking my child to live with them for months - yeah, I'd be feeling very disrespected and hurt. 'Hey sis, dd told me about your offer. Why didn't you mention it to me?' Is their young child their only child? Has she had a close relationship with your dd growing up?

Apropos of nothing, now I have 'common people' stuck in my head... ?

Lucy Mcdonagh is a freaking warrior woman. All respect.

Stella, you might be talking about Lucy Mcdonagh? She's interviewed in the second half of this article. https://www.feministcurrent.com/2018/03/23/leftist-women-uk-refuse-accept-labours-attempts-silence-critiques-gender-identity/

I love working schedules, just not so hot on implementation... I totally hear you on mornings. I just asked dh to get me a big wall calendar for next year, our schedule is stupid and I need to see the big picture. He brought it home and said I'm not allowed to play with my calendar until after school. ? He's onto me! eta - another thought about the free afternoon time. I'm slower in the morning, if I change my thinking, an hour of free time in the morning can serve the same purpose. My kids are playing card games and drawing right now, while I'm having my 3rd coffee and cleaning up. We'll have less free afternoon time but time is time ya know? It's not necessarily productive in the afternoon and wasted in the morning.

I would keep morning time but I'd shave it and use an actual timer. Use loop scheduling so not everything is every day. 9-9.30. Then straight on to 9.30-10.30 for your block of skills. 10.30-11 for snack/nature walk (I think you could shave down this hour too, I've put it as half an hour- although, if it's the afternoon downtime you're missing, this counts!) 11/11:15 - 12:15 - block of work time. 12:15 - 1pm - lunch and break. 1 - 2.30 - your other subject and screen subject. Also, could you merge some of their LA skills with this? An hour is a big block of time, I'd be making it do double duty if possible. Something like wwe teacher book can help you practice writing skills with your own material. Another idea is to use the screen time for the olders here to work with the youngest, so that the olders have more of your focus in the 9.30 slot (or vice versa). And yes, read aloud in the car, or over breakfast/lunch - other morning time stuff can be pegged here too. We also do foreign language podcasts & science videos in the car. Then you'd be done by 2.30, 3 with buffer.

Eek! ? Hope you find someone to help! I mean, I like bees a couple at a time. Everything is blooming here and there's plenty of buzzing. A swarm right outside my door - yeah that's scary!

I wish I could go to her house and be educated like one of her kids... ? Also, no, I can't just give my kids a checklist. My oldest (13) does like to do things independently at the moment, but if I let her, she gets a surface level done. For some things that's enough - especially so I can work with the other children. For most things, it's not enough. Thank you for this thread though, I was starting to slide into too much independance for her as a way of circumventing teen attitudes.

From my very meager knowledge, Russian uses sexed pronouns, and had a more officially egalitarian society (women are more likely to be maths professors in Russia than in America). There is certainly still sexism - still institutionalized sexism, didn't they just make domestic violence legal again? I think there's a whole lot of threads to pull there, culture, religion, communism... It is a subject that interested me, I was trying to tease out my husband's worldview wrt women/family/etc - he was very influenced by his grandparents who immigrated from a poor agrarian town in a Soviet country. Lots of interesting looking books here: https://blogs.bu.edu/guidedhistory/moderneurope/molly-wolanski/ Now, I said I'd be back. I'm not too inclined to comment much more, because it looks like my direct questions were ignored. That's fine, I'm just not interested in talking past each other. 3. Yes there does need to be more research. However, studies get pulled because of fears of transphobia. See James Caspian. 4. Shall we talk about 'criticisms about how those numbers were arrived at?' How are the suicide statistics arrived at? (The famous 48% figure from 27 self selected and self responding trans people under the age of 26). I would love to see good studies. 5. In the UK, one of the reasons that the gender recognition act was passed in '04 was to avoid making same sex marriage legal. 6. We're talking about lesbian erasure because genderists insist that male people can be lesbians and hold seminars about how to overcome the 'cotton ceiling' - how to coerce females who are same sex attracted into sleeping with the opposite sex. Lesbian erasure is literally erasing the meaning of lesbian to include it's discrete opposite. I notice you said 'personal preference' as if orientation is just a preference/kink, which is, as I understand it, an assumption that the LGB fought against. But we've had this conversation before... 7. No one is 'erasing trans identity' and it's emotionally manipulative to accuse people of that. I'm still waiting on your definition of what this gender identity is that we're supposedly erasing. Be a proud trans person and you have my support. 8. Hormones don't erase a puberty of male physical growth. Even if they did, the transgirls beating girls in high schools sports aren't on any hormones yet. Even the Olympic guidelines allow males to compete with females if they declare that they believe they have a female personality/mentality and have testosterone in the low male range (still 5x higher than the highest female range) for 1 year.

I was telling dh about this thread and he reminded me that as 17/18 year olds we'd share cigarettes with our teachers! (We graduated this millennium btw!) We didn't go on to be adult smokers or vapers. I guess I just can't wrap my head around it being such a huge deal. I'm sorry & I hope op and her son navigate through this with little lingering effects.

1. How to house vulnerable males in male prisons is not women's or feminist's responsibility to solve. What about young/elderly/disabled/gay prisoners? Just shoving them all in the women's is not acceptable. 2. Cases like Karen White have already happened. This isn't theory. This is real life rapists and women being locked in with them. We are allowed to critique the ideology that put Karen White (and others) there. We are allowed to point out that the prison service warned the government during the enquiry and were ignored. 3.... I'll be back.

I'm so sorry pps. My dad was one of 2 men in his graduating class to avoid being drafted. He said that he was surprised to not be. I might ask him more about that, his father had served in the British army in India - my dad was born on an Indian tea plantation. The documentary sounds interesting.

Ok, so define your terms. Please. I really want to be able to have this conversation. Under your gender theory worldview, what is the definition of gender? How does that inform your understanding of gender binary and gender identity. Because you say 'gender identity' and I hear 'individual personality that may/may not conform to stereotypes associated with a person's sex' You say 'gender binary' and I hear 'feminine/masculine rules imposed on people because of their sexed bodies'

Ravin: "But a lot of the issues that get labeled "women's issues" aren't just about reproductive rights." No, they're not all reproductive rights issues, but all women's rights issues are about the treatment of female sexed people. Female being one of the dimorphic options in mammalian reproduction. I would further purport that a belief in a gender identity that says there is a female brain/essence/soul/something we haven't found yet which is more entitled to protections than the actual sexed female body is categorically anti-feminist. I mean, nobody has to be a feminist, why say you're a feminist if you don't even think females are 1. A discrete category and 2. A category that needs liberation? Demanding that females have no distinct class or language to discuss their sexed female experiences because it upsets some male people is exactly misogyny.

Funny that, 'heavily patriarchal' and 'long tradition of recognition of a third gender' in the same sentence... Also how India and Pakistan are irrelevant but Samoan, Navajo and Afghani are on point.

Yeah, this is almost exactly what I would have written. Also, I may be more embarrassed about my child doing something so uncool as vaping! Which may lead me to the tactic of making it more thoroughly uncool via my teen's middle-aged mother vaping and extolling it's rad ness (lol) in front of their friends...

What rights are being infringed by using correct for sex pronouns? What rights do trans people not have? Froth and lather? Nice. Again, it's not us who is constantly bringing up the apparently baffling and indefinableness of the human sexes.

It's not Stella bringing sexual dimorphism into trans rights. It's not us saying that sex is a social construct and that we can hardly tell the difference between the sexes anyway and intersex! so therefore gender identity (some indefinable essence) takes preeminence over everything else...

I actually find the assertion that it's hard to tell the difference between the sexes quite upsetting. Like gaslighting. Absolutely we can tell someone's sex accurately most of the time - especially post puberty, and not because of their hair style/clothes (gender presentation) but because of their voice, gait, build, smell, hairline... sometimes in brief interactions with strangers who are deliberately masking their sex characteristics it can take a bit longer (and then, the subconscious dissonance often makes us look closer to try to resolve it), but otherwise it's instant. People could tell the difference when they murdered baby girls in Pakistan and threw them in the garbage. People could tell the difference when they chose selective abortion/infanticide leading to 63 million missing women in India. Those baby females didn't have a chance to wear any cultural accoutrements of gender or develop secondary sex characteristics. Our species survives through mamalian reproduction. One small motile gamete fertilises one large gamete (ova) and the zygote implants and grows inside a female reproductive organ. Every single person arrived the same way. There is no 3rd gamete. There is no ideological insult in stating this, it just is.

It can be difficult to tell in prepubescent children. It is very easy to tell most of the time post puberty. Especially men. I've personally had the 'uncanny valley' experience with a well passing transwoman irl, lovely person, passed as well as any could hope, dinged at least 3 people's radars on first meeting. That's not meant to imply anything bad about them as a person, it just is.

Dh and I once accidentally caught the beginning of a movie on tv called Bad Moon. We sort of kept flipping back to marvel at the awfulness and ended up watching the entire atrocious thing ? it was something about werewolves, very b grade. There was also the zombie sheep movie from new Zealand, but that was more intentionally bad/funny. I wanted to watch John Dies At The End because the book was hilariously absurd - I'm sure that would be a terrible movie too. ?