Im sorta watching Boss and Me on Netflix. I keep fast forwarding through her talking to herself and her friends. It’s made zero difference to the program also why does the ML wear his coats inside everywhere? And all their hands are just so cold they are very red. What horrible temp conditions are these actors filming in? LOL and if there a reason they dress the male actors so …. Oddly? it’s pretty cheap. Go get it! hmm. Maybe add to my list,.. Hangeul is what Korean letters are called

Nm. I had an emotional crisis Thursday and was looking for any way out. Because that’s the only way I could ever think Disney was a good idea. I’m going to fake it until the holidays are over like I do every year for the people I love bc they love this time of year and I’m glad they feel that way.

I hate all of that. Like. I hate it a lot and wish schools wouldn’t do any of it. No body needs to waste that money or have that pressure. but. dammit. We are social creatures and it’s important to making it easier to endure for kids to feel they fit in a tribe they spend 6-8 hours 5 days a week. So if the school does do that, which I really wish they wouldn’t, I’d probably go buy the crap to make my kid’s life a bit easier. Totally worth $25-50 to do that. I would not have done that for my older kids/younger mom version of me 15 years ago. But I would now.

I have 4 best friends. They are all very different from each other and would likely have never met if not via me. There’s not a limit to how many besties someone can have.

I am beyond bummed that it’s unavailable. And that the reviews are so horrible. I would have absolutely already bought them if I could have. I’m dying to see the look on my bird-houses all over their property in-laws faces when they open that at Christmas. It’s a gift for both of us. seriously. Someone find me some quality bird coasters like these. Please!

Along the book theme. This Jane Eyre phone case popped up in my IG feed and I love it. https://stringberry.com/products/jane-eyre-by-jenny-zemanek

Anything less than 3 miles. Maybe 5 miles. with walkable conditions. So doesn’t require crossing a 6 lane expressway for example.

Usually I’m fairly comfortable researching travel destinations but Disney is just a freakin hot mess for me to figure out. Maybe bc it’s not really the kind of place I’d normally ever want to go. Idk. But I need help planning a trip for 4 minors and 14 adults. About half like roller coaster type rides. The other half not so much. Harry Potter world is a must. We will probably have at least one vehicle but will need reliable shuttle service to/from park and between parks. Anything that saves time is a cost we’d consider pending just how much the cost is and if it really saves time. food - well they all eat multiple times a day but few eat fast food. So hit me with your best money saving and strategies and brdt tips please! Is it too late to plan for the week of Christmas? What about the first week of January?

Yes it was all very awkward to ME. But everyone was very much it would be rude to ask or mention it. I once mentioned to my mil that I thought it was odd their family was like this and she said, “If someone has problems they need to talk about - that’s what paid professionals are for.” I’ve never heard a worse pro-mental health care statement in my life. Way to say if you have problems we want you talk about it - just not with us. LOL

I’m just saying. My husband’s family has never had any conversation that wasn’t deeply shallow. In over 30 years I’ve never had a conversation that wasn’t general pleasantries. The weather. How’s work? (Always good. Or some inane general complaint.) How are the kids? (Again. Always good. Anything negative is just not mentioned.) I’m 100% confident that if I die tomorrow it’ll be at least a few weeks before my in laws know. And it won’t be discussed. I can hear it now. “Mom, Murphy died a few days ago and funeral is tomorrow. It’s be good if you can make it but no stress if you can’t.” “Oh. Well he has to do everything himself now but it’s fine bc the kids have always been so well behaved and independent anyways. This casserole the church provided is really good. I wonder if I can get the recipe.” I have spent 30 years of family get togethers at my in laws quietly sitting on a sofa having almost zero conversation with anyone in an effort to not offend anyone with me being… well me. And yet that offends everyone too. 🤷‍♀️

The presumption is that we can’t just stop talking. I said yes we can. But many people will make presumptions of what NOT talking might mean too. They might think I agree or don’t agree or who knows what all else. And yes they do say something. “Murphy isnt talking. Are you mad?” ”You didn’t say anything when he said something so I figured you agreed with him.” ”you didn’t say another so I figured you were offended.” They probably won’t say any of that to me in the moment. But yes, I’ve heard back many times over the years that they did “hear” my not talking as something - usually not anything accurate. But who cares about that I suppose. I’m just going to straight up say that there’s many people in the world who lack the development of conversation skills. I don’t have an issue with your list and tend to do all of those too. I like meeting new people and going new places. The problem I find for many people is it doesn’t occur to them that they may be saying something not entirely nice or polite. Maybe they think they are being funny, as though that absolves all politeness issues - it doesn’t.

Oh! My problem with group text is I mute that crap so fast bc frankly I’m. It going to sort through 30+ responses to one text to find the actual text with info I needed. That happens all the time. I hate it. I don’t want to read responses from every mom out there. I just need the organizer info tyvm. so text me. But please do not group text me. That’s the fastest way to get muted.

If it’s more than a few sentences - email. Or better yet, paper in hand. text for changes of plans less than 24 hours away. a reminder text 24 to 48 hours out with only the key details is helpful. my problem is getting too much information. And then still not getting key details. keep it short please. and for the love of all that’s holy. Please don’t make mandatory parent meetings where we sit through 1-2 hours that could have been a bullet points email. I’m begging you.

Sure we can stop talking. Doesn’t matter. Turns out if you say nothing they will “hear” all kinds of presumptions in that too.

My Apple Watch series 9 seems to be irritatingly accurate. To the point I turned off the notifications. LOL

I will say I have had no durability issues. This one is iirc 4 years old and the previous one was 8 plus years old.

Me? Birth and up. Pets die. People die. Jesus died (and rose). We go see people at hospitals and nursing homes. They’ve seen me carried out on a stretch by paramedics. Same for dad. My mom died (cancer) in the bedroom next to my preschoolers. My dad died (hospice for heart failure) in the living room. Plenty of others have died over the years. So much of this will depend on what the parent is comfortable with. The kids ime are usually not scared of things unless the parents insinuate they should be. They’ll have questions and I’ll answer them. They can touch. Or not. They can look. Or not. They can cry or not. They can laugh or not. None of us are escaping death so I think it’s important to treat it like the natural part of life it is. So far none have expressed in later years that they were traumatized by it.

The Eldon ecotank et-3850 is on sale at Costco and I’m thinking of getting it. any reviews on this model?

But at that point it doesn’t matter if they lie. You asked. You tried. You did your part with sincerity. The point of asking is to know what you need to do or say. If they don’t want you to talk or change anything and thus lie? Then either way you ultimately did what they were okay with. And you have to be okay that you did what you could and that’s really all anyone can ask. Let’s play with that. Some people don’t care if their entire yard is mole hills everywhere. But just knowing they know about it bc you told them tells you a lot about your relationship and them. Some people can totally buy in and dismiss the mole hills too. If they care why should you? But if you do and they don’t? Okay. This is informative too. Because you need to know if you want to be with someone who is okay putting you in a situation where every time you step near them you might lose footing falling in or tripping over yet another damn molehill. ghosting can be a gift when it’s people you aren’t heavily invested in. Cue to not waste anymore time. verify. Then trust. Actually just verify. Verify and you don’t have to worry about trust. sure. Because most people lie to themselves more than anyone else so it’s not likely they are going to be more honest with others. Actually. There’s many ways to chase and many reasons. Mostly people chase when they feel insecure. And honestly being chased forever does sound rather exhausting. LOL You could try giving yourself limits regardless of guy. Such as not contacting or responding to a contact during your work hours. Or theirs if you know theirs. And tell them if they ask that you don’t want to bother them at work. Idk. I haven’t dated in 34 years thank god it looks like hell out there in swipe left or right land. OH! One of the Korean IG people I follow did a skit for a new dating app called … *drum roll* Coffee meets bagel It’s supposedly only for those serious and looking to marry. And has some probably complicated set up to assist in better matching and blahblahblah I don’t want to date. But if I did. They named this one right to get my attention.

Indeed. This is true for all relationships though. I cannot stress enough how much relationships are hurt by the simple act (or non-act) of presuming we know anything about how another person thinks or feels. “if they loved me or cared they’d…” ”because they know that would hurt me they’d never….” it’s all bs because the starting premise is wrong. We really have no idea what thought processes or emotions someone has unless they tell us. And half the time maybe not even then. Because communication is hella hard for humans. And that’s the humans honestly trying to be good. That’s not even getting into that some people are just turds being turdy. This is why my default has become open dialog. Maybe I’m a needy pita. But you know what they shouldn’t be able to say? They can’t say I never told them what I needed. I did my part as best I could. Whatever they do or don’t do - they’ll do it knowing full well where I’m at.

Or it’s going to depend on not expecting anyone to be psychic and just asking, “I’m feeling X bc I notice this behavior in you and do not know how to interpret it. Are we okay?” Most of the people I’ve loved in my life have never loved me back, regardless of what they might have said. But whatever they were thinking, it shouldn’t have been bc they didn’t know what I was thinking or feeling. Maybe they say I’m crazy. Maybe they defer, deflect, deny and that always end up hurting the relationship. Maybe they never speak to me again. I can’t control any of that. But I can be clear as possible in my honesty with them that I love them and about what I am thinking and feeling is hurting our connection or just that I’m worried for them. We can’t assume we are interpreting anything accurately. Or that they are or are not doing something based on why we would or would not do something. I will say I have had a life long stance that where people put their money and their time shows where their heart and mind are devoted. If it doesn’t - they are probably extremely unhappy or in denial about what is really taking up space in their mind and heart. People make time for the things and the people they care about and are interested in. If that means a 3am phone call or showing up filthy straight after a very long day at work bc it’s either do that or miss the chance to see their face entirely that day - then that’s what they do. Be it lover, sister, friend or kids.

😍 that. Looks. Awesome.

I don’t mind doing that when I go somewhere but for me when I host - I just presume we should provide everything and then I do t have to manage or organize who brings what. I find that very stressful on both the hostess end and the invited end. And as the hostess what I really want the most is for people to just show up and relax and not care about any of that anyways.

My BFF gets one of the kiddie booster seats for her seat. Which works. But I feel bad for her bc I won’t go to the movies unless it’s the comfy fancy recliner seats bc if my bad back. And the booster ruins that I would think. But she doesn’t mind so I guess it’s fine. I’ve always thought they should stagger the seats. Like each seat should be in the middle of the seats in front of it so no one has to look directly over the heads of those in front of them. Oh I see you that and raise you: What moms and wives do or don’t do isn’t the biggest factor in whether she has excellent kids or a great marriage. She could be a saint and raise a sinner. She could be devoted in all ways and be married to a jerk. Control over other people, no matter how much we love them, is a complete illusion. It’s a big beautiful world created just for us. I want to appreciate as much of it as I possibly can in person before I die.

Honestly I’d love to just skip Christmas entirely. Can we all just hibernate until Easter? A vacay away somewhere with family would be nice. Maybe go to the movies or to see a Christmas carol play and dinner together. I keep an Amazon wishlist of things that I’ll probably never actually buy but found interesting or fun. My family mostly forgets about it too. LOL