My major gripe with the 3 things I’ve watched on Disney+ is the dubbed and the translations are just horrible. There aren’t very many on Disney+ and bc of the horrid translation issue (it’s not just me that thinks that) they haven’t quite managed to pick up the k viewers. I think you’d do better with almost any other stream. Even prime has some good prime originals lately.

I second the curiosity and add a desire to live vicariously!

Yeah. Don’t get me going on how totally royally f-ed up beyond polite language that is. IMNSO. If someone is found notguilty/innocent they should be able to walk out that same day and owe zero legal anything to anyone.

Ah. Yes well belief doesn’t change facts. You were totally emotionally manipulated. Doesn’t mean you are wrong in you conviction. But yeah emotional manipulation was real. Actually. Compelling is not enough. Regardless of what it is. It’s not enough to “know” or feel “compelled” that someone is guilty. It’s not enough if the person straight up says they did it. In order to have a hope of justice - there must be actual (not just compelling) evidence of guilt. The result of this standard is that yes, sometimes the guilty are not convicted. But the far greater morally imperative reault of this stand is 2-fold: Very few innocent should be convicted and The guilty should have less ability to escape conviction based on irrelevant factors. The overwhelming lack of this standard being the norm in conviction is the main reason many are so rightfully distrusting of the legal system.

Nearly all priests don’t eat meat on Fridays. And many also fast that day too. That aside to the OP: not meat but otherwise make whatever meal you’d normally make and he will partake as he is able. I’d have Dh make grilled mahi, salad, roasted potatoes, and hot tortillas (turn it into fish tacos if they want or just as a bread if they don’t) Standard easy go to option is a meatless pasta and garlic bread. We keep gallons of ice cream like a staple so there’s always a quick dessert.

Thank you! I’m ranting here to maintain peace irl where I’m doing my best to pretend we are enjoying spa and early spring cleaning days. I hope whoever the idiots are that say we shouldn’t have no nit policies bc it’s too costly to schools for something that’s just a nuisance - I hope they get raging lice in their households this semester. Same with bedbugs. We got a horrible case of bedbugs years ago and I’m serious in saying it almost bankrupted us, and did cause literal PTSD in the many months it took getting rid of them. But bedbugs are just a “nuisance” too. I get that bugs happen and it’s not people’s fault or something to be ashamed of. I really do. But just accepting that bugs happen and doing basicly nothing to avoid passing them from household to household is infuriatingly frustrating. And it completely ignores that there’s more to health than disease and more than one way to be made “sick.” And I think it causes a lot more stigma than no nit policies. Bc once you know people are basicly doing nothing the only option you have is to avoid them like the plague. Which I really don’t want to do but here I am. If kids can attend school with active lice crawling on them - then the only option is to basicly decide we aren’t hanging out with them. All the parents say it’s such a pointless nightmare they’ve just given up and just use anti-itch shampoos. All that ever happens is sometimes they get a just so you know call that live lice was found that day in their child and to please treat before coming back the next day. ugh!

I think he should do therapy for himself regardless. To learn what about this person attracted him and how he can avoid that in the future for example. Bc most re-marriages also end in divorce for a reason. So it might be helpful to his future relationships and himself. Couple’s therapy is about figuring out how to work together toward a common future. If either party has decided they are no longer ever interested in doing that, either in marriage or afterwards (such as with kids) - then it’s a waste of time and money better saved for lawyers.

🤬lice. I’m so pissed. But that’s a longer angrier story. And what I need to know is how to permanently get rid of them asap. The lice. The nits. All of it.

The kids I know buying houses straight out of school are also kids who had parents never make them pay for anything ever AND they just so happened to be the kind of kid who would save for investments. So. Not the norm. We never sought to own more than we actually truly needed at the time. We had a 1 bedroom loft apt until I was 3 days from delivery with our 2nd. Then we rented a 3 bdrm house and we stayed in it until after our 5th was born and the landlady didn’t want to rent to that big a family anymore. And no one else did in our low budget price range either. So we bought a 3bd 1100sq house 30-40 out of town for $67k. 7 years and 3 more kids later we sold it for $138k and bought a 2800sq ft house for $168k. (Went looking for the first time ever and that house last sold for $171k. Supposedly my current house is worth $250k) We will probably die here simply bc the housing prices are nuts and it would be terrifying to me start a new mortgage in our older years. IME this is what most people my age have done. Get a starter home, stay until you’ve got some investment built up in it, use that profit to upgrade to better. Most young people are not interested in buying houses. They have zero expectation that any job will last long enough to provide stable housing and they already feel crushed by debts. And they all work long or uncertain schedules to get by so there’s no time for ownership maintenance. This is something that you get as a bonus in marriage. Two hands make for lighter work and incentive to better material life standards. Without that incentive most feel no interest.

Sigh. Maybe she don’t give one care about looking polished for anyone else. Idk. All I’d think is that looks fun and too expensive for me. Well that’s not true there’s a lovely young lady in one of my classes with gorgeous long coffin nails. Like super long, well over an inch past the end of her finger. I always want to ask her how she wipes her butt without losing a rhinestone off the nail or bodily injury. Sexist jokes can be funny jokes. Because sometimes sexism is just realism and not laughing about it won’t change it.

cancel culture is strong. I’m not seeing a benefit to it being the default reaction but it sure seems that way these days. This. There’s lots of options, which is all I care about the OP knowing. What options she wants to take are the right ones bc she’s the one doing the best she can with what she has. As long as she isn’t thinking she is at a dead end with no options - then she’ll be okay. Bc otherwise that pit of despair never seems to have a bottom. The situation is giving enough of a beating without her beating herself up too.

Not necessarily but sure. If their FOO is not relationship sustaining, maybe they view work differently or it’s a place that doesn’t make friendships easy to form, many women just don’t have the time to be involved at their kids schools bc frankly the schools tend to not be very working-parent friendly. If YOU attend classes for YOU - I’d expect you to make an effort to be friendly and eventually maybe form relationships over time. But it is not at all unusual for a couple to be exceedingly more involved with one side of the marriage family than the other. For lots of reasons, many of which may not have anything negative to do with one side of the family. I mean. You’re Catholic. It’s called the universal church for a reason. While it’s important to have a home parish for regular attendance, I totally go all over this diocese all the time. Lots of people from all over the diocese attend events like youth group at our parish. So I think that’s a great option to branch out without breaking off. Introverted me would be very done peopling at that point. 🙂

But… in healthy marriages that’s what I would expect. I mean obviously the people you are around the most aka family and work/education related - that’s probably where your friends will be made just by default. Do you have any hobbies or interests? Have you tried joining groups focused on that? You might not make friends but at least you’ll be doing something you enjoy while being around others who enjoy it - and that’s a good start. oh I agree. It’s hard. It doesn’t come naturally. That’s why I said for most people it takes decades to form a tight support community. absolutely possible. I know many who have had the experience of needing to uproot - most did not have a support network where they were though so it made that decision much easier. 🥺 I would just support him and tell him it’s okay to be that way at times. Just keep doing what he enjoys and not to forget that relationships take time. It’s hard.

It doesn’t actually sound like you have a problem making friends. It sounds by your other posts that you have made them over the years so of course your xh was probably along for that friendship when you were together. The good friends will believe the damage done and know that they can love him still while supporting you and maintaining healthy division of the friendships between the 3 of you. Which means most people do not have genuine friend making skills. Because we are all broken people. Some people just think shallow relationships that don’t involve ever seeing hearing or speaking about that brokenness are friendships. I think you are being too hard on yourself. I don’t think anything would be worth moving away from your support network. Presuming it’s genuinely healthily supporting you and your kids. It takes most people decades to build that kind of relationship and community. And to read this post below - you have made friends just fine and dandy. I think too many are focusing on the religious aspect but if your kids want to be there *and can be there safely* - I think that’s vital to maintaining your and their support network. Maybe because it’s not the best thing for your family at this time. Not every suggestion needs taken up. Like thinking about your kids 5-10 years from now. I mean type A planner me sees the value in that exercise but also. Yikes. Let’s worry about this year and let the next decade of worries and panic attacks arrive in their own time without us rushing to greet them today. and yes different children in the household process the same things very differently. It wouldn’t bother me that one child hasn’t made new friends - but does he maintain good relationship with the friends he had? If so, he might feel similar to you and just can’t handle making new friends right now. That’s okay as long as he still has healthy friendships.

I get that. (((Hugs))) For some people that vow is not just about their marriage. It’s personal as an individual too. Just bc the other party broke things, doesn’t mean you are obligated to break things on your end. I do agree with others though that you should take all the steps to remove him from your legal decision making. Medical and banking and otherwise. I know a few people who have made a card for their wallet saying they are legally separated and their spouse should not be contacted or given decision making ability, and who to call instead. Make sure you give a copy to all your drs and to those you want to have decision making abilities.

Both. The Xh shouldn’t be asking the priest to spy for him. The priest shouldn’t be keeping the xh updated. Sharing info about the kids with both of you as a family friend when you are married? That’s okay. Keeping your x updated while shaming you for not staying with him and making the kids scared is not okay. Not as a friend. Not as a priest. If you have informed the priest of the full scope of this situation and trauma to the kids - then he should not be doing this regardless of if he agrees with you or not. If you have not informed the priest, then maybe give the benefit of ignorance and inform him.

Yeah I don’t think that’s gossiping either. A family friend (who happens to be a priest) is sharing good reassurances about my kids with me. (In this case both parents) NO. Just. NO. He has crossed the line no matter what he thinks. He needs to be told so. Do you have any church friend who will go with you to talk about it? Even if they don’t say anything, just to be there for you? It sounds like he was a close family friend and has taken your xDh side? What a bad decision as a friend and a priest of either of you. 🥺 That’s totally crossing the line. As a priest and a friend, the greater concern should be to ask your xDh how he is doing. Not to tell him about you and/or the kids. That’s not okay. That’s very much crossing the line. Idk. This sounds like a maybe scout another parish situation to me. Even if you were still married and living together - there may be times when you don’t attend or partake for spiritual reasons and it is not anyone’s business. Not even your husband. That’s confessional stuff.

I do think it’s important to be up front and honest to TPTB at church. They don’t know what they don’t know. And what we take for granted people should just get, they often just don’t get at all. Communication is hard. Also. Don’t beat around the bush. Priests hear everything in those confessionals. Tell him bluntly. Your children are SCARED and they need church to be a safe haven for them. How can the staff and priest help with that? At the least, they can not discuss you or your kids with others.

In every community people talk about people in the community. Doesn’t matter what the community is. Church, school, work, neighborhood, extended family… I think it might be helpful to view it in that light? Idk. Yeah they may be spies too. But that’s their wasted time, doesn’t have to be yours. As for the priest. Even if what you have done is a sin - so what? I mean yes that’s not good but also every parishioner is a sinner that the priest is called to shepherd. That’s literally his job. Never has a shepherd managed to badmouth a sinner into sainthood. Sadly there are still some priests that think even if your Dh beats the crap out of you - it’s a sin to leave. They are wrong but wrong people be wrong like that. Report them higher up the chain. Can you go to another parish? You said the church was a big part of your children’s lives and they seem to miss it and want to return to being involved. Who specifically was a part of that? A beloved youth minister for example? Can you reach out to that person in private and just lay the cards out about your situation and what you need for your kids? While a priest is important they tend to get new assignments somewhat regularly and the staff might be the key to everything for you. This makes me so sad for you and your kids. I will pray hard that you and your kids find home in the church. I deeply respect your efforts to keep the children in the faith and the church. It’s hard to do the right thing. And you have so much that’s hard already. I’ll be praying you have good friends/community who will help you carry this cross. You aren’t meant to do it alone. Christ didn’t carry his alone either.

Don’t take this personal against your people bc I’d already pretty much decided to never visit the island of things trying to kill people aka Australia. But thanks for really cementing my resolve about it.

28. Several months after our 5th baby was born. It was outside the city bc we couldn’t afford anything in town. It was an 1100 sq ft after we added a bedroom by divided the one car garage in half. We lived there 7 years and 3 more children before we moved into our current home, which still seems like a McMansion at 2800sw ft. Especially now that half the kids have moved out. ETA: we pinched every penny and stretched every dollar and prayed hard that the one car we had would last forever. (It didn’t. Lol) We had a first time home owner FHA loan and purposely set our tax refund to be extra high to use towards down payment. No help from family.

On a different note, bc of The Happening, movie, I never quite feel as excited as everyone else about it.

I think the world has been “hardened“ enough bc I’m not seeing any softer humans come out of these policies. idk about anyone else. Maybe it’s just me. I’m in the dark pit of depression these days so my optics aren’t all that bright. But I’m not feeling one bit tougher or more resilient or safer in my well hardened life so far. And I just don’t understand the logic as to how exactly making our kids environments more hardened is going to make a different result for them. By historical standards the daily lives of children have never been more hardened to dangers of all kinds than they have been the last 20 years and all I’m seeing is spikes in mental illness and suicides and violence. I’m not understanding how the solution to that is more of the same.