New diagnosis-mild autism

[bethben]

My 13 year old was just diagnosed with mild autism (level 1) with no cognitive impairment. We were planning on putting him in a classical school full time next year mostly because I am completely fried—burnt toast—desert existence. He has an older brother with severe mental delays and physical issues. Am I crazy to expect that he will do well there? He has a one day a week classroom situation with homeschooled kids (about 20) and he likes it overall. I do expect that we will have to make some adaptations but am unsure of what they would be.

 

 

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[Heathermomster]

Can you get him in a social skills class of some sort?

 

Does he know and understand his diagnosis?

[Lecka]

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1931282994/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1521559617&sr=8-4&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=autism+brenda+smith+myles&dpPl=1&dpID=61ryhbTN%2BBL&ref=plSrch

 

This is a pretty slim book but I have flipped through it before and it seems good.

 

You can learn more about various supports/strategies and what might work well for your son.

 

Some are things you can prepare at home, some are things you might share with teachers.

 

There are a lot of books on this subject :) It’s not so bad, it’s like there’s a long list of suggestions, you try some over time, and then see that certain ones are a good fit for your son :)

[Lecka]

Oh, I saw pp. Yes, there are probably quite a few steps to take in general. School supports or school ideas/suggestions is just one area.

 

I agree a social skills group is a great idea, and learning more about the diagnosis, making decision about sharing the diagnosis, etc.

 

It will also matter a lot if he has signs of anxiety or depression.

[bethben]

We’re looking into ABA therapy and social groups for the summer. He likes his one day a week classroom situation but I’m not quite sure how he’s perceived by other students. He’s not good at reading other people’s reactions.

 

He tends to stuff frustration which can lead to depression. He’s not too expressive about feelings. For example, he really wanted to bring a notebook to church to write down his random thoughts he has and never asked us if he could. So simple! We have told him of course he could. He gets frustrated with things like this and fails to let it out.

 

 

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[kbutton]

We’re looking into ABA therapy and social groups for the summer. He likes his one day a week classroom situation but I’m not quite sure how he’s perceived by other students. He’s not good at reading other people’s reactions.

 

He tends to stuff frustration which can lead to depression. He’s not too expressive about feelings. For example, he really wanted to bring a notebook to church to write down his random thoughts he has and never asked us if he could. So simple! We have told him of course he could. He gets frustrated with things like this and fails to let it out.

 

 

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Asking for help and seeing context for problem-solving are so, so typical. I would find someone who can help with those skills. It can be ABA, speech, general tutoring, or any other specialty--just find someone that understands the problem and has some idea of how to remediate that. It is a skill necessary for social skills to some extent (clears up a lot of misunderstandings).

 

I highly recommend that you also speak your own thoughts and self-talk aloud..."I'm getting ready to x, and so I was thinking that I needed a and b." "I am so frustrated by z, and I realized because of c and d, that this is the best way to keep from getting frustrated." "That alarm I set is going off, and I still need more time. I need to reset it for 10 more minutes so that I don't forget x or y when I am all finished."

 

Just talk out loud a bunch and brainstorm solutions together all the time. It really helps.

 

As for the classical stuff, it depends on what his specific academic strengths and weaknesses are. Predictability is likely in that environment, which is generally good for kids with ASD. My son would struggle with interest in the content and with lots of writing, retelling, etc. He is 2e, but his verbal IQ, while in the gifted range, is really, really lagging behind the rest of his cognition, and he has some MAJOR language quirks that are not readily apparent. He looks more helpless and not willing to try than lost, but he's as lost as a goose with some language tasks.

[PeterPan]

We finally found a golden place for social skills groups. He sounds like he might flourish in a good one. The ones I had heard about were talking groups, blah blah, but place we're using now has games clubs, travel clubs, all sorts of things. We've been doing three clubs and are probably going to do that again for the summer. They've totally unlocked my ds.

 

Yes, he probably has issues with problem solving. 

 

On the ABA, what I'm finding is that when I get really good OTs and SLPs, their work with him is like ABA. They pair, build relationships, and work on skills. So ABA and the other therapies don't have to be mutually exclusive. Around here, my SLP and behaviorist are about the same price for hours, and by working on these skills with lots of people, in lots of settings, he's getting the chance to generalize. I'm not saying don't get ABA, because you should, definitely. Just saying building a team is good, doing things lots of ways with lots of people is good.

 

As far as the classical school for next year, I hear you on the challenge. It sounds like you're saying he blends in for academics and survives. However his ability to hold a job and live LIFE is going to be limited by his social skills, not his academics. Do you have access to an autism school? Or could he go into the ps and get an IEP?

 

Kids support levels are different and what they need differs. I've just been counseled to put LOTS of effort and energy into social, that that's what I'm going to be crying about later, not his academics. So you might see how many more options could be on the table. Could you hire a private tutor to do his academics and then put the rest of your money into social thinking interventions? There are materials for problem solving, etc. With the right therapist, you could do a lot. Tasks of Problem Solving Adolescent By Linda Bowers, Rosemary Huisingh, and Carolyn LoGuidice

Edited March 21, 2018 by PeterPan

[Lawyer&Mom]

You aren’t crazy to think he could do well in school. I’m mildly autistic and I loved school. Structure, routine, clear academic expectations... That doesn’t mean I didn’t have social difficulties, or executive functioning difficulties (still do!), but I would have had those challenges in any setting. My best advice would be to provide scaffolding. Review his assignments. Ask about deadlines, help him plan.

 

I don’t know what the best accommodations are, because I didn’t have any, but I would definitely ask the school what they suggest. Even neurotypical kids need executive functioning support at this age, so the teachers should have ideas.

[bethben]

Apparently, the school he will be going to is very traditional ie “let’s learn in groups!†And let’s figure this problem out in our pod!†learning is not happening. It’s pretty structured. I absolutely cannot homeschool any more. I have not put the oxygen mask on myself first for so long, I am starting to pay the price. I feel like I’m suffocating while still trying to give my family everything they need to succeed. Unfortunately, he’s just going to have to learn to swim with the scaffolding the school can give. I have found an aba center very close to where I live so that seems more possible.

 

 

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[Pawz4me]

DS19 is ASD-1. He's also highly gifted in some areas (2e through and through), so take this FWIW -- He went to a small, supportive early college high school after being homeschooled from second through eighth grades. It was an absolutely fantastic choice for him. He advanced so much socially (and academically, but that's never been our concern with him) during those four years. Right now he's thriving living on campus at a four-year university. I'm not sure he would have been able to go away for college had he not had those four years of experience with all the social stuff that goes along with "regular" school.

Edited March 21, 2018 by Pawz4me

[Zoo Keeper]

:grouphug:  to you, OP. 

[Storygirl]

My 13 year old was just diagnosed with mild autism (level 1) with no cognitive impairment. We were planning on putting him in a classical school full time next year mostly because I am completely fried—burnt toast—desert existence. He has an older brother with severe mental delays and physical issues. Am I crazy to expect that he will do well there? He has a one day a week classroom situation with homeschooled kids (about 20) and he likes it overall. I do expect that we will have to make some adaptations but am unsure of what they would be.

 

 

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Regarding the sentence I changed to red....

 

Since he just received the diagnosis, can you ask the psych to write up a list of suggested accommodations for you to give to the school?

 

Also, if you wanted to list out some of the struggles he has had during homeschooling, I'm sure some people here would be willing to chime in to share ideas.

 

Here are some questions you can think about (you don't have to answer here, but, of course, you can, if it would help you process):

 

Are you planning to share the diagnosis with the school?

Are they willing to provide accommodations?

Can they give you some details about what the classes will involve, both while he is there, and for homework?

Have you followed a classical education style during homeschooling, and dues it suit him as a learning style?

Is he good at memorization (many classical schools require a lot of it)?

Is he at grade level or above for reading and writing, because reading classical works may be challenging?

Does he have good reading comprehension and analytic skills?

Is he 8th grade next year? Does the school continue through high school, or would he have to switch after a year?

Do you have other school options?

Do you know any families that attend there now, and do you think there is an adequate social fit for him there?

 

I really think a classical style school could be a good option for someone with autism, or a poor one. DD16 attended one when she was in third and fourth grade (she is NT), and the questions above are the some of the areas that I think could provide difficulty for some students, and are some of the reasons I knew that the school was not the right choice for my other children.

 

If your son is strong in academics and behavior and has no learning disabilities and can participate in class discussions, I think those are things that might point to a classical school being a decent choice for him.

 

 

 

 

 

[Storygirl]

Also, I know what it is like to have extreme homeschooling burn out. And sometimes it can be better choice -- for everyone -- to enroll in school, even when the choice of schools is imperfect. I just wanted to validate that.

 

:grouphug:

[bethben]

Regarding the sentence I changed to red....

 

Since he just received the diagnosis, can you ask the psych to write up a list of suggested accommodations for you to give to the school?

 

Also, if you wanted to list out some of the struggles he has had during homeschooling, I'm sure some people here would be willing to chime in to share ideas.

 

Here are some questions you can think about (you don't have to answer here, but, of course, you can, if it would help you process):

 

Are you planning to share the diagnosis with the school?  Yes

Are they willing to provide accommodations?  Yes

Can they give you some details about what the classes will involve, both while he is there, and for homework? I can get a picture of what it would be from similar schools that are already going.  It's a very classical type school with the learning levels of grammar, dialectic, and rhetoric with expectations of those levels.  They also teach Latin.  I think he will be able to do this.  

Have you followed a classical education style during homeschooling, and dues it suit him as a learning style?  Somewhat

Is he good at memorization (many classical schools require a lot of it)? He has the ability and has done it before with success

Is he at grade level or above for reading and writing, because reading classical works may be challenging? He's been reading Shakespeare and recently read Cyrano de Bergerac with a decent (not complete) level of understanding

Does he have good reading comprehension and analytic skills?  Not his strong point, but grade level at least

Is he 8th grade next year? Does the school continue through high school, or would he have to switch after a year? yes, the school continues through high school which is partially why we chose it

Do you have other school options? pure public school with over-crowded classrooms.  This school is going to keep grade levels small

Do you know any families that attend there now, and do you think there is an adequate social fit for him there?  We have no idea if the social fit will work there.  It's a new school.

 

I really think a classical style school could be a good option for someone with autism, or a poor one. DD16 attended one when she was in third and fourth grade (she is NT), and the questions above are the some of the areas that I think could provide difficulty for some students, and are some of the reasons I knew that the school was not the right choice for my other children.

 

If your son is strong in academics and behavior and has no learning disabilities and can participate in class discussions, I think those are things that might point to a classical school being a decent choice for him.

 

 

I think academically, he will be fine.  He just whipped out a Thematic Paragraph on Cyrano de Bergerac that had him explain the theme of why the pen is mightier than the sword.  He needed to explain his thoughts on why that was true in the play and use examples.  I thought it was going to be hard with me pulling him through the assignment.  He found examples easily because he remembered where they were in the book and did a decent paper.  I was shocked.  

 

The social piece is the question.  There is no way to predict that.  He seems to do fine in a classroom situation but that's with homeschooled kids who are better socially (ironic considering all the junk society tries to tell us about homeschooled kids!).  

Edited March 22, 2018 by bethben

[PeterPan]

Then that tells you where to put your energy--into social.

[Pawz4me]

 

 

The social piece is the question.  There is no way to predict that.  He seems to do fine in a classroom situation but that's with homeschooled kids who are better socially (ironic considering all the junk society tries to tell us about homeschooled kids!).  

 

I don't like to generalize, but . . . for the most part we found the public school kids much more socially aware, kinder and more accepting of differences than the homeschooled kids in our area. That's not to say the homeschooled kids were bad. They weren't.