Impish Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 In reading the other thread about dance recitals, I was both shocked and a bit appalled to see that they were 3 hours long...at least some. And a comment was made that everyone was expected to stay for the entire duration. Here's my question/thought/concern. I have RSD. There is no way on this green planet I could handle sitting through a 3 hour anything, without ending up in screaming, shrieking pain. Hubby and I were just discussing putting Princess in dance (in the future) last night. If it means having to sit through hours of recitals before being able to scoop our dd, there's simply no way thats going to happen! Obviously, attempting to ensure that when the time comes we attempt to find an extremely small dance studio that has SMALL recitals will be an important issue, one we hadn't considered...but I have to ask...is 2-3 hr dance recitals the norm? And can you really not pick up your child until the recital is completely over, rather than just their performance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I think if you go and take an aisle seat, not up close, so you can make a quiet exit you should be fine. When we have performances, we have parents who usher, just tell the usher you have special needs and need to get up and need to sit somewhere where others will not be disturbed. It is difficult when a performance has bunches of people making an exit after one selection. The performers have worked hard and should have a chance to show off their skill. So, I sit and watch other girls and I hope other adults watch my dd. However, no one is going to fault some one with a disability for leaving or getting up and changing positions as needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 Thanks for your response! Unfortunately/fortunately (depending on perspective) RSD is an 'invisible' disability, in that you couldn't tell at a glance that there's anything at all the matter with me. If you observed me closely, you might notice that I don't use my right arm much at all. You might even see the discolouration and swelling in my hand...but most don't look that close. Chronic pain isn't something that is as noticeable as most other disabilities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I thought it was "invisible". My response is the same if you choose your seating appropriately and tell an usher if present this should not be a problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 Thanks, Betty. I appreciate your response. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura R (FL) Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 It really depends on the school. My dd dances at a pre-pro ballet school. Her recital is a spring show incorporated into a ballet production. This year it was a 90min ballet, a 15-20 min intermission followed by their jazz/character pieces, which also took 90min. No one was allowed to leave until the end for security reasons and limited backstage staff. Because it is affiliated with a pro company and a non-profit arts entity, our school is often subject to economic impact more than a private studio. This year, because of budget constraints, everything was schedule at the same weekend as a professional ballet performance to save money. Therefore, it was one extended recital. Last year it wasn't as long. Sometimes they do a spring ballet, and an end of the year jazz recital for an hour. The youngest students, ages 3-6 or so aren't expected to particpate in such a long event. They have a separate time for their recital which is much shorter in duration. The 3-4yo even have just a class demonstration for the parents in the room on the last day. It's just something to ask about when you are looking for a school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matryoshka Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 but I have to ask...is 2-3 hr dance recitals the norm? And can you really not pick up your child until the recital is completely over, rather than just their performance? I think the big long production is fairly standard, and not only that, but they charge you up to $20 per ticket to watch your own dd (that you already paid huge $$ to them for lessons for), and then don't let you take your own photos or video, but charge $20-50 for photos and also huge amounts for a DVD. Oh, and $80+ for a costume. However, there are studios that do things a bit differently, if you look for them. When my dd first started taking ballet, we were at a very small studio that did "demonstrations" rather than recitals - she'd have two classes at a time deomstrate their barre and a short dance. The teacher made and kept all the costumes, you could take your own pictures/videos, and there was zero admission. Because each demonstration just had two classes, it was also quick. Now we're at a larger studio. I do have the big costume charge - it usually runs around $80 (but I've heard of some that charge a lot more) - and the tickets, and I've held off buying the professional dvd but I might give in soon. I've managed to take photos of dd in her costume in the hall. But they do one thing differently than standard that I really, really like. They do two shows. The kids in the "upper school", ballet III and above, do both shows. The little kids (and there are always so many more of them) only do one. This limits the time of each performance - and also keeps you from wanting to poke your eyes out with hot pokers from watching so many adorable tiny kids in tutus run about into each other (one or two batches of these are cute - hours worth is some kind of torture). The other thing they do differently is that they don't just do a bunch of separate dances, they put on a story ballet. Each class has an ensemble role in the ballet, and they have company dancers dance the lead roles. This means there's quite a bit of good ballet to watch, there's a story to follow, and the pieces don't seem like one random thing after another. Last year my dd's class danced as the birthday cake at Aurora's wedding in Sleeping Beauty, and this year her class is "harlequinettes" and the other level 4 class is broomsticks in Cinderella. Last year was our first year with this studio, and I have to say I was so pleasantly surprised that not only did I not want to bolt screaming for the door, but I actually enjoyed myself watching the performance. Anyway, there are studios that try to do things differently - shop around! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I have to say that I took my children out of dance this year primarily because of the recital. Last year, each girl took 2 classes. The recital consists of 2 3-hour shows of which each child had a performance in each. We ended up being there, with going to dinner in between, for 9 hours. People are allowed to come and go as they please which means that we inevitably missed part of each one of our girls' performances because of rude people constantly coming and going in front of us. Then to top it off, we had older girls dancing that my husband (only half-jokingly) commented that they just needed a stripper pole to make the dance complete. I know in our neck of the woods, you have to search diligently for a dance school that does not blow the whole recital completely out of proportion. They are out there though so just do your homework ahead of time and ask lots of questions about what the recital entails. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 Thank you to everyone that has responded so far! Princess turns 3 in Sept, which is why dh and I were discussing it last night, as I believe that there are some tot classes that start around age 3. I have no clue what I may or may not be in for, so being able to ask questions here has been incredibly helpful and enlightening. I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't just wait and put her in martial arts with her sibs :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pixie Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 We were at dance recitals yesterday. Our studio does 2 2-hours show on sunday afternoon. Both of my girls take 2 classes and they ended up with 2 routines each in the first show and my oldest had one in the 2nd show so we were there from 1:30 till 7pm (no time to go home in between). You cannot pick up your kids and leave in the middle of the show because they all go back on stage for the finale. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann@thebeach Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 My DD chose not to stay in dance last year because she wanted to take karate-I was thrilled because AFTER I signed up I found out that all girls HAD to pay for the $120+ costume, wear thick make up (I mean really awful!) for the performance, and we still had to pay $10 for the tickets to see the performace. The performance was about 2 hrs. And no, we couldn't just leave after our DD-all the girls had to stay together. And pictures were extra too but it seemed everyone was pushed to get them since the dance owner was taking them. They also sold t-shirts they "encouraged" all the girls to buy and they had to have special tights that of course, you had to by on-line and cost $20. I was really pretty disgusted at at the extra expense (1 mom told me it ended up being an extra $210! total) I just wanted dance lessons, not this big production. But after asking around I found this to be the norm at most dance places. The only place that didn't have the performance drama was thru the park/rec classes but they were only for little girls up to 1st grade :( Dance is definitely one of those classes you should find out all the expectations up front! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathy in MD Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 (edited) Thanks for your response! Unfortunately/fortunately (depending on perspective) RSD is an 'invisible' disability, in that you couldn't tell at a glance that there's anything at all the matter with me. If you observed me closely, you might notice that I don't use my right arm much at all. You might even see the discolouration and swelling in my hand...but most don't look that close. Chronic pain isn't something that is as noticeable as most other disabilities. I agree with Betty. I would also add that there are many other diseases that are also "invisible" that also require special treatment and consideration. I'm sure that ushers deal with some of those problems and special requests frequently. Edited May 4, 2009 by Kathy in MD spelling, again :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathy in MD Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 ......I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't just wait and put her in martial arts with her sibs :glare: Do. She'll need it for self defense. :001_smile: OTOH, a well placed arabesque might be a very adequate defense. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niffercoo Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 In reading the other thread about dance recitals, I was both shocked and a bit appalled to see that they were 3 hours long...at least some. And a comment was made that everyone was expected to stay for the entire duration. Here's my question/thought/concern. I have RSD. There is no way on this green planet I could handle sitting through a 3 hour anything, without ending up in screaming, shrieking pain. Hubby and I were just discussing putting Princess in dance (in the future) last night. If it means having to sit through hours of recitals before being able to scoop our dd, there's simply no way thats going to happen! Obviously, attempting to ensure that when the time comes we attempt to find an extremely small dance studio that has SMALL recitals will be an important issue, one we hadn't considered...but I have to ask...is 2-3 hr dance recitals the norm? And can you really not pick up your child until the recital is completely over, rather than just their performance? Our dance recitals run 2.5 hours long, EACH. And they are both on the same day. Ours happens to be 'shows' so you can't pick your child up because they may be in a later scene, but even at a studio where the dances were independent of each other, you couldn't pick up your child until the end of the show. For what it's worth, our studio IS an extremely small studio (one class each of different levels). You may need to specifically ask about their recital procedures, and don't forget about dress rehearsal. For us, that's even worse than the recitals. We are usually there for 6-7 HOURS. As you can tell by my signature, I have two children with special needs. One of those is IN the recital/dress rehearsal and it's quite a challenge. I go back to give her sensory breaks every hour or so. During the actual recital, nobody is allowed backstage. It's a beautiful show in the end, or I wouldn't continue to do it. My older daughter is dancing all 3 of her dances in BOTH shows this year, and my husband has to be out of town for work. So I'm going to have to miss the 2nd show completely, because I can't ask her special needs siblings to sit through a second 2.5 hour show. (And I'm certainly not going to bring the PSP or DS after reading that other thread! LOL) She's going to be very sad that nobody is there for her... but what do I do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 My girls go to a WONDERFUL dance studio. The costume is included in the registration fee at the beginning of the year - no extra charge. No charge for the recital. They have 3 separate recitals on the same day. The little children (under 8) are always first, so they and their parents can be done and go home. The little ones are kept moving - their dances are short and the teacher performs with the really little ones so they don't have to remember the dance themselves. Then they have a jazz recital and a ballet recital. They schedule them with enough time for one set of people to leave before the next show starts. My mom has been to countless performances and recitals over the years, and she said that this school does the best she has ever seen! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niffercoo Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 My DD chose not to stay in dance last year because she wanted to take karate-I was thrilled because AFTER I signed up I found out that all girls HAD to pay for the $120+ costume, wear thick make up (I mean really awful!) for the performance, and we still had to pay $10 for the tickets to see the performace. The performance was about 2 hrs. And no, we couldn't just leave after our DD-all the girls had to stay together.And pictures were extra too but it seemed everyone was pushed to get them since the dance owner was taking them. They also sold t-shirts they "encouraged" all the girls to buy and they had to have special tights that of course, you had to by on-line and cost $20. I was really pretty disgusted at at the extra expense (1 mom told me it ended up being an extra $210! total) I just wanted dance lessons, not this big production. But after asking around I found this to be the norm at most dance places. The only place that didn't have the performance drama was thru the park/rec classes but they were only for little girls up to 1st grade :( Dance is definitely one of those classes you should find out all the expectations up front! Yes, I completely agree. Our costumes are $75 each (but the tights are free), $25 recital fee which gives you 2 free tickets, extra tickets are $5 each. The costume pictures are extra, but ours allows you to buy a CD for $75 that includes all the pictures of all of your dancers (nice when you have 2 dancers like we do). And then be aware of the time involved for rehearsals and recital. Next year my older daughter is going to have to give up one of her dance classes because of the expense. Her shoes are starting to cost a fortune because they get specialized in the higher levels. And this for a child who won't be a dancer in her adult life! LOL I won't go any other place though, because this studio accepted my younger daughter with love and kindness after other studios refused to even let her try a class. They have bent over backward to make sure she feels successful and loved. So I'll put up with the insanity and the crazy weekend in May. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Here's how ours works. We have 2 shows, each about 3 hours long. This year they were 3 hours and 20 minutes, with 2 10 minute intermissions. You can't get your child during the recital, but you can pick them up them at an intermission, and many people left at the intermissions. Only the very young kids get to do this though. Most of the girls, after about age 7 or so, are taking several classes and will have more than one dance. The kids have to be there an hour early, in costume and makeup. They started getting ready at 11 am for the 1 pm show. When the first show ended at 4:20, we ran out and had a quick meal, since they had to be back by 5:00 for the 6 pm show. We finished at 9:20, went out for ice cream, and were home at 10:30. It is a long day for me, but it doesn't bother them at all. The kids in the advanced classes and on the competition teams have most of their dances in both shows. These girls have lots of dances- I know some of the high school girls were in about 20 dances each. It makes a long recital more tolerable if your child is in every 4th or 5th dance. There are over 500 kids dancing in the recital, so there are thousands of people in the audience. People do come and go, but I really wish they would sit on the end if they know they're not staying. The dances are only 2 minutes long, and it's easy to miss the whole thing if people are in your way. My dh (a doctor) was on call yesterday and had to get up and answer pages several times, but he always sits on the end at the back so he can slip out unobtrusively. I don't have a problem with people leaving if it's done politely and quietly. Waiting for an intermission would be best, if possible. Some studios do a grand finale production, and if your child is in that they wouldn't be able to leave early. In ours, only the competition group is in the production. But if you're in competition, you are used to sitting through 12 hour days and entire weekends of dance, so it's just another dance day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 Good heavens! Here I was just having visions of my cute lil Princess in wrinkly tights...and now the reality of it comes out. Wowzers. Martial arts is sounding better all the time. Dh wants them in gymnastics too, for balance. *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 It really depends on the school. It's just something to ask about when you are looking for a school. We attended a school with the interminably long recitals. Then we switched to a school where the instructor thought the recitals tended to be a huge waste of time and money. They did a short show every spring in which everyone wore matching t-shirts (purchased from the studio for under $10) and a pair of black jazz pants or capris or somesuch -- the instructor wanted everyone in black bottoms. Kids in ballet classes wore black leotard and tights, and one of the moms had sewn simple skirts for everyone. Now my kids are in Irish Dance. They perform about 2 dozen times per year all over the place, and most shows are about 45 minutes to an hour long -- we choose which performances we attend since the school is involved in about 50 performances per year. They wear the same dress for every performance. Every 2 years the school does a "recital" type thing, which lasts forever and ever -- the typical 3 hour thing where every single dancer dances every single dance they know -- but it has a silent auction going on, a cash bar (not that we drink, but I can see how a long recital with a bar could be a better recital for a lot of parents :tongue_smilie:), etc., and frankly, plenty of people are wandering around all over the building quietly and discreetly. The entire thing is professionally filmed. So you can watch your child dance (or not, given that you've seen them do this same stuff several dozen times already), then slip out to socialize or whatever, coming back in time for the final bow, purchase the DVD to see anything you missed, go home and spend 2 years recovering from the ordeal. (Irish Dance schools vary tremendously on how they do this stuff -- some have multiple costumes, some have bigger productions every year, etc.) I'd like for them to take ballet also, but I plan to call around and find a studio with an option for no performances AT ALL. They get up on stage plenty -- I just want them to learn to dance, not to prance around in little outfits they'll never wear again in their lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 See, this is my issue. Princess already loves to dance. So does Diva for that matter. If I could find a NON competitive dance studio where both of them could attend (Diva is 10, and has never attended lessons) that wouldn't be an arm and a leg, be very laid back, etc...I'd do it in a heart beat, because both of them love music. Heck, all the kids do, but dh has this aversion to Tazzie being in dance class :tongue_smilie: Reason Diva's never been to class is that I went to enroll her before at a studio that was near where I was living...and she's a chubby kid. The dance instructor made very insulting comments about her body type and informed me they were a COMPETITIVE school...after that, I just didn't even consider it for her. I don't want her in that kind of environment, period...but I also know if Princess goes, Diva will want to. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary in VA Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 My 14yo dd has been dancing for 10 years. She started at a studio that did it all - jazz, ballet, tap and modern. Their recitals were endless!!! After two years we moved and she started at a studio that did only ballet. They did not do recitals, but two full length ballets a year. Both of reasonable length. She is now at a school associated with a professional ballet company. There she has a chance to participate in the company's Nutcracker over the month of December and a Spring Perfomance at the end of the school year. Neither are mandatory and both are of reasonable length. I highly recommend ballet. It is the foundation of most styles of dance and they can always branch off from there. Also, if you find a studio that only does ballet, the performance commitments are usually much less. HTH, Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurelia Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I took dance from age 9-18. Ours was a bigger studio, but they had separate shows for the recital, so you weren't forced to sit for 3 hours. The afternoon shows were mostly the "little" kids - about ages 3-8, and the evening performance was for the more advanced and older students. I put Ariel in Kinderdance for the last 2 years, and last year the whole recital only lasted an hour, if that. (I expect the same this year.) This included separate tap and ballet numbers for each class (except the 2 year olds who only did ballet) and the finale. The only problem was all the parents standing up trying to video their little dancers, since the stage wasn't elevated. If you want a laid back experience, maybe something like Kinderdance or a class through your local recreation center will work. It's very laid back and all the kids seem to enjoy it. The recital is optional! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 We were involved for one year in a huge studio with 300 families! Of course, there were more dancers than families. They had three recitals at the local Performing Arts Center. Tickets were expensive. They put the little children in at least 2 recitals (I believe they did so to promote ticket sales). My dd was 6yo. They did a tap number to the Doo-wa-Diddy diddy dum diddy doo song. It was adorable. But, the costume was expensive. The hair style they required took forever (and I had to do it twice -- maybe three times, I can't remember because I've pushed the memory from my mind -- LOL) BUT, the recitals were about 50 acts each, and lasted 2 1/2 hours. The children were required to stay the entire time. I don't think they could have forced the audience members to sit that long. Nature calls, you know. I'm sure they wouldn't have had a problem letting you out of your seat (I can't imagine them trying to keep you there). But, you wouldn't be able to pick up your little darling until they opened the stage door when the production was over. I decided that I still want her to do ballet, for the exercise, the coordination, the grace, etc. But, I have no desire to live that dancer mom lifestyle. Fortunately, dd doesn't have a passion for it, so it's a non-issue. We have her in a tiny studio that does two little performances a year. They do it during their regular class time, right in the studio. There is no cost to attend, and the studio owners even provide juice and cookies. Of course, these girls will never be competitive dancers, and that's totally okay with us. It's a perfect match for our family. I'd highly recommend you call all the studios in your area and find out if they're going to have a recital this month. Then, go to the recitals. This will give you a huge glimpse of the types of dance they teach, the size of the studio, the quality of the dancers, their studio emphasis. Also, ask questions about the recitals (cost of costumes, duration, when/where they're held, cost of tickets, how the back-stage is handled for the little ones -- whether they provide snacks, parent helpers, whether children are allowed to leave during the performance, etc) Ask about their emphasis. Do they teach classical or modern ballet? Do they have an emphasis on jazz? Do they teach "adult" dance movements to the little girls? (this may not bother you, but it bothered me) Really, going to the recital is the best way of seeing for yourself. Just sit next to an aisle, so you can exit when you need to. If they try to stop you, just tell them you're feeling sick and hold your hand up to your mouth. I'm guessing they won't even try to make you stay! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Ask the dance studio. We were part of an individual organized sport and they would do the lower levels first then the upper levels separately. That way, very few people were made to sit there throughout everyone involved. I'm sure different places do differently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teamturner Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I If you want a laid back experience, maybe something like Kinderdance or a class through your local recreation center will work. It's very laid back and all the kids seem to enjoy it. The recital is optional! :D I second this idea. After 2 years w/a dance studio, I put my dd in a class at our local rec center at a fraction of the price. The girls got a costume that was inexpensive and performed at several assisted living facilities. It was perfect! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CactusPair Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Our studio also has long recitals. I also have a hidden disability (MS). Last year I was able to make it through, but if I hadn't been well, i would have left quietly and picked the dc up or had dh stay through the show. The dc participate in the grand finale with all the kids at the end, which is one of the main reasons they need to stay the whole time. It was so crowded I don't think anyone would have minded or noticed if I picked a moment between numbers and slipped out. People were milling all about, going to the bathroom, taking care of fussy young children and crying babies. it was standing room only, really packed. If you're worried about appearances you could just speak to the teacher and tell her the situation. I don't think it would be a big deal at all. If you absolutely feel you can't leave your student there for the whole recital maybe arrangements could be made. The preschoolers are dismissed early at our studio. Maybe they could make an exception for you. Does the studio you're interested in make a DVD of the whole show? If you were not able to make it to the recital at all, you could still watch your Princess on the DVD. There is usually a dress rehearsal. Maybe you could just sit through her number there and leave and have dh stand in. Would your dh be willing to be present even if you could not be? My dc are really enjoying their classes. I'm sure I could find a workaround to the long recital problem if I had to. Don't write off the dance class too soon without finding out more about accomodations. I find that when I let people know about my illness they are very understanding and try their best to help me. As a last resort your student could take lessons and not particapate in the recital. There's at least one student in our class who's doing that and last year several adult students made arrangements with the teacher so they wouldn't have to appear in the recital. best of luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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