Kathleen in VA Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 sex offender? I mean, if you knew a friend had several registered offenders living within a mile or two of her would you tell her? I have a friend who lives in a rather nice neighborhood that is right off a main street with lots of little dead-end lanes off of it. There are three registered offenders on those little lanes within one or two miles of her house. I feel like telling her (the old, better safe than sorry), but otoh, if I do, I may send her into a fit of worry. Though, I still think it's better to know than to not know. Forewarned is forearmed and all that. I just don't want her to start feeling paranoid and unhappy - but then again, what if something happened and I hadn't told her? I'm going to be seeing her tomorrow. Should I tell her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbie Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 YES> I think info. is power. I always check before I buy, and if there is one a mi. w/in area, its a no go. But, some might say, it could be any neighbor, unregistered. Which is true. Isn't nice to know, where you should definitely stay away from. These lists are out there for a reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tricia Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 Yes, I definitely would squeal. This is much too important not to pass it on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vettechmomof2 Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 Def. It turned out that the home we bought after we lost our other one in the flood had 6 sex offenders living in less then 1 mile from us, 1 is right across the street and related to every other person living here(except us). We live in a rural area that happens to have little clusters. None of these offenders were listed at the time we looked and it turned out that they were ALL in trouble for not registering so now we are here in a house surrounded by sex offenders. Luckily I have REALLY big dogs. I would def. tell your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest janainaz Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 I looked it up when I moved into my neighborhood and get updates. We have three registered SO's in ours. I just think people need to watch their kids and be responsible. The next door neighbor who isn't on the list could be just as much a threat. There is nothing wrong with mentioning it to her, but not sure why it's such a big surprise. If you are going to bring it to light, keep in mind that you yourself should stay cautious even if you live in an area where there are none registered. Also, many of the SO's are also younger boys who have dated girls under 18, so not all of them are as creepy and dangerous as the label. I'd be more concerned about what I don't know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 I guess I wonder why there is the need. She can use the internet, too, if she wants to. Most people have an offender living near them. She may either already know or may not want to know. (some people prefer to keep their head in the sand.) As for your worry about "What if something happened..." Do you call friends with the latest news about other potentially dangerous or scary things? When the terrorist attack warning (or whatever it is called) goes up a notch, for instance? If you are worried, you could mention that you looked it up for your neighborhood and that you are relieved there are no s.o. living nearby. All sex offenders are not equal. We have some really crazy (imo) ways in which someone can get convicted of a sex offence: minors emailing their own photos is supposedly child porn (I think it's a very bad idea, and maybe should be illegal, but it's not child porn as I would understand it) , an 18 year old guy having consensual sex with his 16 year old girl, etc. There was a case in the news several months ago where a guy was convicted of rape after a woman who had given explicit consent to him in a group sex situation then withdrew her consent after he had already started the act, and he did not exit within a split second, but within several seconds. I wouldn't consider any of the above to be dangerous to me or my children, but they could all carry a label of "sex offender." Yes, there are dangerous people out there, but it's often difficult to tell from the websites what kind of offender the particular person actually is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 I'd tell her about the registry and let her decide if she wants to look it up. Kind of a "Hey, did you know you could look up..." mentioning. It seems kind of weird to me that you'd look up someone else's address. I don't know her so I don't know how she'd take it. We live in a neighborhood with several offenders. One lives a block away but we've never actually seen him. There is/was a halfway house a few blocks away with three of them. The house is located across the street and a high school. There are a few others within a mile or two. We just educate our children really well and keep a close watch on them. At 9 and 7, we finally let them go outside on our block without us going with them, but only when they are together. Even then, I open the windows and keep a panicky watch on them. (We had a kidnapping/murder a mile away a couple of years ago, too.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ida Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 We just found out one moved in 6 blocks up our street a few weeks ago. I've been trying to figure out how to react. Dh says it's probably a good sign that he is actually registered! At first I started wondering things like "Should I still let the kids play outside without an adult?" Then I calmed down and realized I'm glad to be informed, but overall, I'm not too worried about it. Living far away from a registered s.o. does not guarentee your safety any more than living near one guarentees your demise. I am glad I know though. This is the first week it's really been nice here and my kids have been spending tons of time out in the yard. I do look out the window a little more often, but am not too paranoid about it. So, yes, you should share the information with your friend. She may already know. It doesn't necessarily change anything, but it's good information to have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 We live in a trailer park (modular home community:001_huh:) and I learned a few years ago, that there was one living in our park. My dh brought it up to management the next time he went to pay our rent and it turns out the man wasn't even supposed to be living there. Her in MI there's a brief description of the offense, 1st degree, 2nd degree, etc. If there were one that said "1st degree Aggrivated Rape" or whatever, I would certainly inform my female neighbors. A "4th Degree Sexual Assault" probably not, because that could be something as stupid and peeing in the bushes at a park. It would be a judgment call. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted April 18, 2009 Author Share Posted April 18, 2009 I looked it up when I moved into my neighborhood and get updates. We have three registered SO's in ours. I just think people need to watch their kids and be responsible. The next door neighbor who isn't on the list could be just as much a threat. There is nothing wrong with mentioning it to her, but not sure why it's such a big surprise. If you are going to bring it to light, keep in mind that you yourself should stay cautious even if you live in an area where there are none registered. Also, many of the SO's are also younger boys who have dated girls under 18, so not all of them are as creepy and dangerous as the label. I'd be more concerned about what I don't know! Yes, I agree. We lived in our house for ten years and then had one move in right next door. I couldn't have done anything about it - moved or whatever - so there I was. He moved about 3 years later. I've always known that I needed to be careful. Don't know if you remember the Kristin and Katy Lisk kidnapping/murder, but that happened in the next county south of us and now I'm always quite careful and watchful everywhere I go and whenever my children are outside playing. Now that our society has gone even more pornographic thanks to the internet, I really don't trust many people. I feel as though we live in a very, very different world than the one I grew up in - it's quite sad to me. I feel like we've lost so much of our personal liberty. When I watch old movies where children ran all over the town, in and out of everywhere, I grieve for the freedom we have lost. Perhaps I am overly cautious but I do not even let my children walk to our mailbox - it is 1/2 mile down our dirt road - because I don't feel at all safe about it. As far as not all offenders being the same, that is certainly true. I'm not sure if all states are the same, but here in Virginia the listing includes a photograph of the offender and the offense they were convicted of. These three men were not youngsters messing around with underage girlfriends I'm afraid. If I happen to mention the registry off the cuff, wouldn't that seem a bit odd? She's bound to figure out what I'm up to and I think being up front is better than going in the back door about it. No I do not tell all my friends whenever I hear about some danger that may or may not affect them - I do call when there's a tornado warning just in case they don't happen to be listening to the radio or watching tv at the time. Seems like a potentially harmful sexual predator in the neighborhood is a little more of a threat than the nation's threat level moving up a notch. Oh, and the reason I looked up her address is because she lives in the same county with me and I noticed the red dots on the map when I looked up my own address. Is that odd? I suppose it might be. Sorry for the ramble. Thanks for all the input. My gut feeling was to tell her but I like knowing others agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaof2andtwins Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 We receive regular notifications from the school district in regard to register SO that life in our town. We have two in our neighborhood. Everyone should know what is going on in their own neighborhoods. Jennie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 It's not the registered sex offenders that I worry about so much. They know they're being watched. It's the ones that I don't know about that bother me, but I am always very careful and I never let my kids go out anywhere alone. If I or my husband or some other trusted adult cannot go out with them, they can't go out. Period. It's better safe than sorry. Man, there are alot of sex offenders out there! Scary! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shenan Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 I would feel like it was an obligation on my part to make sure my friend knew. ;) If it were you on the other end, wouldn't you want to know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 I would absolutely tell my friend. If she knew something similar about someone in your neighborhood, wouldn't you want her to tell you? Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted April 18, 2009 Author Share Posted April 18, 2009 I would feel like it was an obligation on my part to make sure my friend knew. ;) If it were you on the other end, wouldn't you want to know? Thanks, Shenan. Would you think it odd if I checked out the registry near your house? You are my friend after all:). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shenan Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 Thanks, Shenan. Would you think it odd if I checked out the registry near your house? You are my friend after all:). Absolutely not! I would think you were a caring and kind friend who only had my families concern on her heart. ;) Let me know if you find anything.... :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted April 18, 2009 Author Share Posted April 18, 2009 I would absolutely tell my friend. If she knew something similar about someone in your neighborhood, wouldn't you want her to tell you? Cat Yes, actually it did happen just like that to me. That's an excellent way of considering the whole matter. I was shocked and really quite scared considering he lived next door, but still, I was glad to know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 I would probably tell my friend, but my friends would expect me to bring those sorts of things up. I'm a ray of sunshine like that! ;) But I do agree that unregistered sex offenders are the real problem. I live in a gated community with private security, and we're on the lookout for a man who has tried to abduct young girls at least twice in the past few months. We have a sketch and a vehicle description, but he's not registered and we can't find him. Every sex offender has a first time. And then how ever many other times s/he has before being caught. In my eyes, the public registries are to serve as a reminder that nobody lives in a utopia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessedfamily Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 When I watch old movies where children ran all over the town, in and out of everywhere, I grieve for the freedom we have lost. I think the same thing whenever I watch Andy Griffith, and they let Opie roam around town unsupervised with his little peanut butter eating friends. My, times change. I'll bet there's hardly a neighborhood in any mid-sized town that doesn't have a few. I looked up ours, and there was one in the neighborhood, a few miles away. Strangely, a few weeks later a sex offender in FL murdered a child, and a local reporter decided to check on all the sex offenders in our area to see if they were living where they're registered. The one in our neighborhood put his house up for sale within two weeks. He was gone in a couple of months (probably been replaced by now). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessedfamily Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 Every sex offender has a first time. And then how ever many other times s/he has before being caught. In my eyes, the public registries are to serve as a reminder that nobody lives in a utopia. Yes. My thoughts exactly. It's before they're convicted that you have to worry most. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 I looked again at our area. One of my college students is one. His offense was 20 years ago, a single incident of r*** when he was 19. Another lives a few houses down from a friend of mine, and was convicted over a year ago for looking for "young friends" online. Entirely different situations IMHO, although both are wrong of course. I emailed my friend... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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