My daughter is a sophomore at Harvard

[Brilliant]

Not really. That's a quote from my new neighbor whom I met this afternoon. Her son is a junior in high school, preparing for multiple AP exams next month. Her daughter is a sophomore at Harvard.

 

I felt about an inch high and escaped from the conversation before she found out we homeschool, much less that my dd is at the *gasp* community college.

 

Honestly, I am usually very happy with our decision to homeschool. But on a periodic basis something comes up that makes me wonder why I was thinking I could give my kids an education comparable to some of the excellent programs out there.

 

Sigh.

 

OK, I'm done beating myself up. Thanks for understanding. :)

[Mandy in TN]

Honestly, I am usually very happy with our decision to homeschool. But on a periodic basis something comes up that makes me wonder why I was thinking I could give my kids an education comparable to some of the excellent programs out there.

 

I would have to be delusional to think that some excellent program would have gotten my boys into Harvard. :rolleyes:

 

Also, Harvard does except homeschoolers... just not mine. :lol:

 

Mandy

[mcconnellboys]

There are wonderful jewels of teachers at little known schools throughout this country. They teach because they love it, not as a necessary evil of being at a research university. Your daughter can get a good, sound education to be proud of in many places beside Harvard. And she can be proud not to have a lifetime of debt to pay off by being more conservative in her choices, too. (But it's generally free or low cost to apply to any place you dream of - schools do seek diversity and grades aren't all that might get one in the doors these days).....

 

You're a good mom, with good children, getting a sound education. The grass might not be as green as you might think in the neighbor's yard.....

 

Blessings to you and yours,

[Mommyfaithe]

I would have to be delusional to think that some excellent program would have gotten my boys into Harvard. :rolleyes:

 

Also, Harvard does except homeschoolers... just not mine. :lol:

 

Mandy

 

I am happy the CC has to take them! :tongue_smilie::tongue_smilie:

[Big Buckin' Longhorn]

I am happy the CC has to take them! :tongue_smilie::tongue_smilie:

 

HEHEHEHEHE :lol::lol::lol: That's how I've been feeling most days!

[Jenny in Florida]

I felt about an inch high and escaped from the conversation before she found out we homeschool, much less that my dd is at the *gasp* community college.

 

Well, a couple of things. First of all, I didn't homeschool--went, in fact, to one of the supposedly best high schools in my state--and started at the local community college. There's absolutely nothing wrong with community college.

 

Second, homeschooling is not necessarily inferior to other educational approaches and in no way disqualifies a student for highly selective colleges. Didn't at least a couple of the Colfax (Homeschooling for Excellence) kids go to Harvard?

 

And, if it makes you feel like you can hold your homeschooling head up high, you could tell your neighbor about my daughter, who homeschooled until she was 12 and then went to college. It's not the ivy league, of course, but still. I have to say, though, that it wasn't homeschooling or my fantastic parenting that put her there. She got there by sheer force of will.

 

OK, I'm done beating myself up. Thanks for understanding. :)

 

I do understand. I feel the same way sometimes when parents who have their kids at fancy private schools start telling me about the wonderful things their kids are doing there. But, really, do stop beating yourself up. We all take different paths in our lives, and parenting is not a competitive sport.

[Tree House Academy]

I graduated with honors from a private school at the top of my class and I went to a state University....wouldn't have gotten into Harvard if I had TRIED. (I didn't try!)

[Storm Bay]

You may want to read a book that includes 40 Colleges that Make a Difference in the title--the most selective colleges are not always the best choices. In fact, small private colleges with no grad school are sometimes fabulous choices because the only "product" is the undergrad.

 

What makes the best education someone can have is highly individual, but if you want to point to some successful homeschooled dc, how about Sally Ride, George Washington, Thomas Edison? There's no way Edison would have been accepted to Harvard, because he was labelled mentally retarded. I say it's safe to say that he made more of a long lasting impact on our society than the majority of Harvard grads have. Good thing his mother refused to believe that he was mentally retarded (that was what it was called for a long, long time) and homeschooled him.

[Mandy in TN]

Didn't at least a couple of the Colfax (Homeschooling for Excellence) kids go to Harvard?

 

I believe three of them did. I do know that one of the boys who went was adopted. When someone said that that proved that it was the method and not the genetics, they replied that it very well could be the genetics: it just wasn't their genetics.:D

 

Mandy

[mcconnellboys]

I believe you're referring to Colleges that Change Lives, by Lauren Pope? Great book!

[Mandy in TN]

the most selective colleges are not always the best choices.

 

I wholeheartedly agree. Also, for my oldest I know that sending him to a small school with a good retention rate where he can build relationships with his professors and classmates will go a long way toward a positive college outcome. He does better when he feels like people know him.:)

 

Mandy

[Riverfront Headmistress]

I suggest you read Real Education. It really made a difference in how I look at schools.

[Gwen in VA]

We all take different paths in our lives, and parenting is not a competitive sport.

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

[Storm Bay]

I believe you're referring to Colleges that Change Lives, by Lauren Pope? Great book!

 

 

Yes, but for some reason I tend to remember only the subtitle. I have this problem with nouns, particularly proper ones. I can look someone in the eye and call them the wrong name; I'm thinking specifically about when I called my db my dd's name. I do claim sleep deprivation for that one, though.

[coopers5]

But, get the ISI guides (America's Top Colleges and Choosing the Right College) and get the real scoop on some of these "top" universities and Ivies.

They are not all what they are cracked up to be in our minds.

 

What matters in the end is where your children end up and what kind of people they become. College can certainly be a part of that, for better or for worse.

 

We must pray them through all of it, no matter where God provides for them to go!

 

HTH!

Jo

[Brilliant]

...We all take different paths in our lives, and parenting is not a competitive sport.

 

This one made me laugh...thanks for the reminder!

 

I *do* think we've chosen the best path for our children, but sometimes I wonder where "the road not taken" would have taken us...

 

Thanks for all the book suggestions; I will check out some of them out re: colleges, since we haven't made any firm decisions on that yet. (dd is still in hs...she's dual-enrolled).

 

I'm feeling a little more upbeat today. :)

[violin69]

Not really. That's a quote from my new neighbor whom I met this afternoon. Her son is a junior in high school, preparing for multiple AP exams next month. Her daughter is a sophomore at Harvard.

 

I felt about an inch high and escaped from the conversation before she found out we homeschool, much less that my dd is at the *gasp* community college.

 

Honestly, I am usually very happy with our decision to homeschool. But on a periodic basis something comes up that makes me wonder why I was thinking I could give my kids an education comparable to some of the excellent programs out there.

 

Sigh.

 

OK, I'm done beating myself up. Thanks for understanding. :)

 

My brother got his Masters at Harvard and he's very supportive of our homeschooling and at present dc attending a foreign national school. Sometimes I get nervous around his Ivy League friends but many times without reason. At Christmas, he came all the way here to Slovakia so I could meet his Stanford grad girlfriend. We live in the blue-collar part of town in a tiny post-Soviet apartment! Believe me, I was sooo worked up over this visit but she turned out to be very sweet and down-to-earth. And yes I said stupid stuff but what can I say? God gave my brother the high IQ, not me.

 

Also my other brother was together with him on whiz kid competitions during hs but he went to a state school and quit. Now, he's mainly self-taught and still just as bright as his brother. I'm proud of both of them. Both gifted but very different decisions in life.

 

I've also seen the downside of a Harvard education. Lots of debt! My advice, be yourself and don't worry about it.

Edited April 16, 2009 by violin69

[jellogirl]

I know many smart and outstanding students who have attended public schools their entire life. However, I have come to the conclusion that they are smart in spite of their school, not because of it. Homeschooling rocks; don't ever feel inferior because you don't do everything the way the failing public schools do.

 

And there's more to life than college! What is the benefit in attending an ivy league school if it undermines your faith? If your student is already smart, why pay hundreds of thousands for a name-brand degree?

[Alice]

My dh went to Yale and while I think he appreciates many of the opportunities he had there, he doesn't at all feel like our kids should or need to go to an Ivy League school. And in fact there are some reasons he'd rather they not. He'll be the first to tell you that he didn't really work very hard while there. He says it's a well known fact that you work hard to get in and then it's really really hard to flunk out. I went to a small, good private school (University of Richmond in Virginia) but nothing at the Ivy League level. I'm not sure you can really tell the difference in our educations or level of "success". We're both happy but I don't think the rank of college had much to do with it for either of us.

[Susan in IL]

Ignore her comments. Stop beating yourself up.

 

I have a neighbor who has 3 children. #1 is a fighter pilot who went to one of the service academies, #2 is at Yale, #3 is at Harvard. When she moved here, she kept making a point about it. #3 and my ds1 are friends.

 

Anyway, none of the Ivy's offer the program my ds wanted, regardless of whether or not he could get in, or how many APs he took. Why go someplace and spend all that money if it can't give you want you want, regardless of the prestige factor?

 

I know kids who would flourish at MIT but had absolutely no desire to go there, much less apply.

 

She has since toned it down because none of the neighborhood moms, whether their child was in ps or hs, was too impressed.

[4wildberrys]

Not really. That's a quote from my new neighbor whom I met this afternoon. Her son is a junior in high school, preparing for multiple AP exams next month. Her daughter is a sophomore at Harvard.

 

I felt about an inch high and escaped from the conversation before she found out we homeschool, much less that my dd is at the *gasp* community college.

 

Honestly, I am usually very happy with our decision to homeschool. But on a periodic basis something comes up that makes me wonder why I was thinking I could give my kids an education comparable to some of the excellent programs out there.

 

Sigh.

 

OK, I'm done beating myself up. Thanks for understanding. :)

 

Funny that you post this---I have been feeling like this just from reading various posts right here on WTM!! :glare: Reading about 6th graders using Apologia Biology---that my 16yo dd dropped for now because it was too hard----or about families using college textbooks and all the great books and AP this and AP that...........it not only makes my head spin---it makes me feel like my efforts to use homeschool materials that are more on the 'fun' yet understandable side for certain subjects are going to disenfranchise my kids for college since it seems that everybody going to college these days has actually taken ALL their college classes by the end of high school! Well---not really. But you would think that is the goal of high school from reading many posts here at WTM :001_huh: And it sure makes me feel like a "loser" since my kids are not 2-3 grade levels ahead in all maths and sciences...:tongue_smilie:

 

But then again when my brain starts thinking rationally---I realize that "I" went to a very rigorous, "elite" private College Prep high school---and I am certainly not the only one that burnt out by 1-2 years into college. I dropped out to pursue "life" after 2 years, and so did many others. And of course, we are the ones who don't show up at those reunions that we should feel welcome at---but we don't because the WHOLE push at that school was "Accomplish" and "Succeed"---and of course the only definition of accomplishment and success still is---LOTS of abbreviations after your name, followed by lots of $$$$ in your wallet and getting your permission to brag about it in the quarterly, usually nausesating Bragazine that we all get in the mail.

 

Balance is the key. ;)

[Jen500]

My dc are still young....I'd be asking my neighbor a lot of questions. I'd love to hear about what they did/didn't do along the way to enable their dc to get into an Ivy League university. Then I'd consider their experiences and advice and decide if any pieces are valuable for our family. I'd love for my dc to have the option of being accepted into an Ivy League, even if they end up choosing another college/university.

[Hilary]

I SOOOO understand! :glare: My brother's son, who's the same age as my older son, was accepted at Harvard a few weeks ago. MY son, who applied to only one Ivy (Brown) was waitlisted. And he's decided to enroll in a very small college, Transylvania here in Lexington, which practically no one has heard of except locals.

 

But, I have been working on getting a better mindset about all this. First off, my brother went to Harvard and has accomplished very little in life (although he has tons of ability and I love him a lot) ... and has been unemployed (and not looking for a job) for more than two years. His Harvard education did very little "practical" good for him, and I truly believe he would have done better at a different school. *I* went to Brown and, while I had a good education, I feel that I would have probably profited from going to a much smaller school. I was just thinking today about how a combination of arrogant professors, uninterested TA's, and not-very-good freshman classes got me off-track from my original career goal of writing and illustrating ... and look where I've ended up ... a homeschool mom :lol: Seriously, though, I chose Brown because it was the most selective school I was accepted at, not because it was the best fit for me. Same with my brother. Hopefully our children will make wiser decisions.

 

Secondly, our son's college will cost 13K per year (and he is still in the running for a scholarship which would reduce this cost by about 10K). My brother will be paying about 50K per year (they didn't apply for financial aid, thinking that this would increase the odds of my nephew being accepted, despite Harvard's need-blind policy). He has one child; I have three. My son is interested in medical school; my daughter (who will be graduating from college in two years) is also interested in a graduate degree. Realistically speaking, it makes sense for us to choose a quality education at a lesser-known school ... Transy has an excellent record of placing its graduates in medical school and we will have some money to help our children out when the need comes.

 

Finally, I would probably feel differently if we still lived in the Northeast. I was very ambivalent about my son going off to a school that was a plane ride away. My nephew will be a train ride away from his parents. We are a very close family and a separation like this would be hard for everyone. And my son is a fabulous pianist and wants to be near his piano ... since we can't move it into a college dorm, having him here in town will be the next best thing.

 

Oh, and one final thought ... a few years ago, my husband was interviewing candidates for a position at his law firm. One guy was a Harvard graduate, and my husband said that every time he could, he would work Harvard into the conversation. Instead of saying "in college, I did so and so" he would say, "Well, at HARVARD ...." The other candidate was a graduate from Eastern Kentucky University. In every way, my husband and the other partner who were interviewing these two fellows were more impressed with the EKU grad. Just a small example, but I believe a person's accomplishments, character and personality will shine through in the end, no matter where they went to college, and in the long run it's more important WHAT you did in college, than WHAT college you went to.

[Storm Bay]

Funny that you post this---I have been feeling like this just from reading various posts right here on WTM!! :glare: Reading about 6th graders using Apologia Biology---that my 16yo dd dropped for now because it was too hard----or about families using college textbooks and all the great books and AP this and AP that...........it not only makes my head spin--- (skip) And it sure makes me feel like a "loser" since my kids are not 2-3 grade levels ahead in all maths and sciences...:tongue_smilie:

 

Balance is the key. ;)

 

 

Balance is the key, and some kids are just very driven. I think it's very individual. I've felt badly sometimes, because I have a dd who could be grades ahead of her age peers and isn't because I just haven't yet been successful in instilling any kind of good work ethic into her. She lollygags, procrastinates, argues, draws--even when I'm on her all day and she's lost all of her incentives. So I've btdt compared with other dc like her who are so far ahead. I read about parents who simply lay down the law and get results, but that's just not how it works with this child. I'm not worried about her being advanced or rushing her out the door, but instilling a good work ethic into her so that she has the right balance and doesn't grow up to be lazy.

 

The best education for any one child is not going to be the best education for every child.

 

It's not a competition. I like the adage, "share, don't compare." No one's dc are good at everything. We might do rigourous math and science, but I'll be surprised if my eldest reads many great books (she won't read any of her own volition at this point) because she abhors history and I need to choose my battles. I no longer let it bother me that there are some families out there that seem to do it all, because no one can unless they have very driven children and/or relatively compliant children OR they are just absolutely amazing parents who can do what so far I have not been able to do. No disrespect intended, because I am sure it's hard work. But I know that even if others are better than me in some areas, I have my own areas in which I excel and other commitments IRL besides homeschooling, just as you do. Vive la difference!

[Jenny in Florida]

I've felt badly sometimes, because I have a dd who could be grades ahead of her age peers and isn't because I just haven't yet been successful in instilling any kind of good work ethic into her.

 

Bingo. Try having two kids, one of whom is the driven type and the other of whom is . . . not.

 

My daughter started college at 12. My son is 11 and is nowhere near ready for such a thing. I suspect he may not go to college until pretty near the "normal" age, and he may start at the local CC even then.

 

He's just as bright as his big sister but a totally different personality type.

 

Where she focuses like a laser on certain goals, he's interested in many different things and determined to go full speed ahead with all of them.

 

My hunch is that, by the time they're 30, they'll each have accomplished lots of great things. However, my daughter will have done them in series, while my son does juggles them all at the same time.

 

They're individuals. I like it that way.