Just Another Jen Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 I realize that we need to get to an attorney yesterday but I'm just wondering what we need. My mil is in critical condition in the hospital with stage 4 lung cancer/heart failure/diabetes. She's there for blood clots in her lungs- she can still speak but we don't know for how long. She was only diagnosed 7 weeks ago and we thought we'd have more time to get the legal stuff in order. All my time has been spent taking care of her (plus homeschooling a little) She's the type of person who never planned a day in advance. No checking account (she has a savings)- no will, no power of attorney, no "living will?". Right now the problem is that I need to pay her mortgage. She has 2 disability checks that are not cashed in her house. If I can get her to endorse them I can cash them and then send her payment in. But there are insurance, utility bills waiting etc. Should we open a joint checking account at this stage of the game? She won't ever be able to go to a bank- we'll have to bring everything to the hospital. Anybody btdt? Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 I think if she's clear minded you can do whatever you need . I'm really bumping this along so you can get more advice. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 I'm not an expert but I think the easiest thing is if she is willing to sign a power of attorney now. My FIL has done this recently and now my SIL has control of his finances (this is a very good thing). She is able to pay all his bills and keep everything up to date without needing his signature. If she's unable or unwilling to sign a power of attorney, that's more complicated and I'm not sure what the easiest thing to do is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 You really do need power of attorney. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 (edited) And ask them what they require to deposit her checks into an account that you can write checks on if she can't come to the bank and is very ill. Don't call the 1-800 number, but try to deal with a local body. In my area, banks are extremely picky about opening accounts unless the person is right there signing with you. Maybe other parts of the country are more open about this, but not here. You need to know exactly what they expect and then get that done. Some banks will actually require a power of attorney specifically directed to them, not a general power of attorney. Edited April 14, 2009 by GVA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Another Jen Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 Thanks- I think my first question to the atty in the morning will be about a power of attorney. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 You really do need power of attorney. :iagree: You need this right away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 you actually need 2 powers of attorney: legal and medical. If she can get a quick will done at the same time, do that too. Tell the atty to come prepared to do all three. and schedule it early :) as long as she can still communicate SOMEhow it's not necessary that she actually be able to speak. A video camera might be helpful in that situation. The biggest question is her soundness of mind and ability to communicate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary in VA Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Talk to the attorney about "durable" powers of attorney. That will mean the power of attorney will still be valid if she is incapacitated, say in a coma. Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Another Jen Posted April 15, 2009 Author Share Posted April 15, 2009 Ok- So a legal and medical power of atty both "durable" and a will. I'm calling early in the morning. Hopefully we'll get someone out tomorrow. Thanks again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabeth Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 I am so sorry for your troubles. She is very blessed to have someone who cares trying to take care of so very many different needs right now. It is best to have a living will witnessed and signed , notarized . YOur attorney can go with you and a nurse can witness it. This is far better in my experience(as a human being and an attorney) it is not ambigous nor is the burden on you to make tough decisions .With the living will you are merely seeing her wishes fulfilled regarding her care as a terminally ill person. You must also get a power of attorney form which will need witnessing and notarizing again, your attorney should go with you to do this. Unless it is a long distance in that case you should hire an attorney near to the hospital where she is being cared for. We do this all the time and charge nothing extra as this is simply the situation the client is facing and the only way to accomplish the task of meeting the standards of making their wishes ironclad with a terminal and critical patient is to do this in person. As dh always says, "We chose this work ,it is what we do." I hope this appointment goes well and is a lifting of the weight of responsiblity you have so graciously carried. Peace to you and your family at this very difficult time. elizabeth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabeth Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 I am so sorry for your troubles. She is very blessed to have someone who cares trying to take care of so very many different needs right now. It is best to have a living will witnessed and signed , notarized . YOur attorney can go with you and a nurse can witness it. This is far better in my experience(as a human being and an attorney) it is not ambigous nor is the burden on you to make tough decisions .With the living will you are merely seeing her wishes fulfilled regarding her care as a terminally ill person. You must also get a power of attorney form which will need witnessing and notarizing again, your attorney should go with you to do this. Unless it is a long distance in that case you should hire an attorney near to the hospital where she is being cared for. We do this all the time and charge nothing extra as this is simply the situation the client is facing and the only way to accomplish the task of meeting the standards of making their wishes ironclad with a terminal and critical patient is to do this in person. As dh always says, "We chose this work ,it is what we do." I hope this appointment goes well and is a lifting of the weight of responsiblity you have so graciously carried. Peace to you and your family at this very difficult time. elizabeth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 The hospital social worker will know about these kind of things for your state. May even know a trusted attorney who knows how to act quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scubamama Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 :grouphug: many hugs and prayers for you and your family... Power of atty : get the legal and medical ones....the hospital social worker will be able to assist with these kind of questions. I went thru this with my mom. It is an unbearable time to endure. Bumping this up so you get some more replies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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