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So, I guess I don't buy the "boys will be boys" stuff. Since little boys don't have much testosterone, do you really think this is an inherent difference? If your daughter organized her Barbies into a ring of bank robbers, would this be O.K.?

 

I would agree that not ALL boys have the same stereotypical boy-type of play, but I disagree that there's anything to "buy" about the difference between boys and girls. I can't think of one culture or study that has determined there is no difference in interests, activity, or mannerisms between even very young boys and girls. It's merely a widely noted observation, not an idea that needs selling. ;)

 

We built guillotines for our Barbies when i was a kid.

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Death is simply not amusing

 

My son plays pirate. He's not playing death. He's playing sail around with a cutlass. He's not thinking about the same things that adults think about when they think "pirate." And at six, I wouldn't want to burden him with that stuff.

 

So, I guess I don't buy the "boys will be boys" stuff.

 

I didn't buy it either when I just had one child. When I acquired a second child, of the opposite gender, I saw that there is a difference between boys and girls.

 

If your daughter organized her Barbies into a ring of bank robbers, would this be O.K.?

 

Absolutely. I am not worried that my daughter will grow up to be a disproportionately stacked bank-robbing blond.

 

Tara

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I'm a Christian and I would let them do it. I try not to interfere with their play as long as no one is really a victim/being harmed.

 

I don't buy the "boys will be boys" stuff.
\

 

I have three boys and one girl. I've been doing childcare for six years and babysitting since I was 13. I've found that boys and girls are indeed very different.

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Lots of great stuff upon which to think...

 

I would just add, in regards to any imaginative play, that certain parts of this question seem very much similar (to me) to the question of whether or not to punish a four year old who is clearly lying and has gone to some lengths to confabulate when there is obvious evidence in front of all those conversing on the subject that the child is in fact not telling the truth.

 

I know that there are those who would punish. I'm not one of them. I think perhaps the single most important internal differentiation for parents to clearly grasp is whether or not a child is facing a developmental or moral issue in a particular situation -- be it play acting (whether mimicking positive or negative icons), or lying about the chocolate cake that's all over his face. Making developmental issues into moral ones sets up inevitable failure within that relationship. Mistaking moral issues for developmental ones turns out sociopaths.

 

I do believe that the Bible is occasionally not the last word, or Word. ;) I think that the scope of understanding (hopefully) grows with each successive generation and that there's much to be gained from the (sometimes secular) study of child development. That four year old likely does not have what he/she needs to grasp actual truth from what he/she wants to be true. Punishing a kid for being at a certain developmental stage inhibits (imnsho) his ability to move through it effectively, to a place where he can discuss, embrace, and embody good moral ettiquette, Christian or otherwise.

 

As well, the developmental stage which allows a child to play pretend is a sign of good mental/emotional health. (Somebody cite something here -- it's been too long since I cracked that textbook.) I believe that because of our greater life experience and concerns for the well-being of our children, too often parents overlay otherwise unremarkable childish traits with moral concepts that are innappropriate to that child/scenario. This does not mean that we do not bring them to a place of understanding, but I would not explain to a five year old with a pretend sword that he musn't do that because those kinds of people raped and pillaged and murdered. As far as he's concerned, he's figuring out how good and evil work in the world (though he wouldn't know to say that yet). As part of the unending process of raising them, we would read and discuss later. Ad nauseum, varying the depth of the conversation as is appropriate to their age and development at the time. And they become clear on the whys and wherefores without shame being a part of the process.

 

My children wish to recommend The Dark Frigate (included in Sonlight 7) for pirate literature.

 

:)

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  • 2 weeks later...

I was just reading the story about the captain that was rescued from pirates. I am finding it hard to believe what is going on with pirates these days! I had no idea they were still up and running!

 

I certainly wouldn't want my children playing pirates (at least not in the sense that I imagine most children play it...not as good pirates (if there can be such a thing)), just like I wouldn't want them playing terrorists!

 

This is not something from the past, it is alive and kicking.

 

I am thankful that this man was able to be reunited with his family.

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I was just reading the story about the captain that was rescued from pirates. I am finding it hard to believe what is going on with pirates these days! I had no idea they were still up and running!

 

There has always been piracy. It wasn't all that long ago that the straits in SE Asia were the "hot spot". The unusual thing with this episode was that this was the first time a cargo ship under the American flag had been attacked/boarded in some 200 years. The Marine hymn includes the words "...to the shores of Tripoli..." for a reason.

 

I certainly wouldn't want my children playing pirates (at least not in the sense that I imagine most children play it...not as good pirates (if there can be such a thing)), just like I wouldn't want them playing terrorists!

 

This is not something from the past, it is alive and kicking.

 

Yes, it is. And that doesn't mean your kids are aware of that in any real sense or with full adult understanding.

 

I am thankful that this man was able to be reunited with his family.

 

I hadn't heard he'd been rescued. Thank goodness! I'm sure his family is very relieved. Of course, you must do as you think best for your children. I would only caution that you not mix adult understanding and children's imaginative play.

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I was just reading the story about the captain that was rescued from pirates. I am finding it hard to believe what is going on with pirates these days! I had no idea they were still up and running!

 

I certainly wouldn't want my children playing pirates (at least not in the sense that I imagine most children play it...not as good pirates (if there can be such a thing)), just like I wouldn't want them playing terrorists!

 

I too am glad this situation was resolved, but most kids play pirates in a "searching for buried treasure" kind of way. Like explorers, but the pirate dress code and vernacular is much more interesting. ;)

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Haven't read the whole thread yet ... going to go back and do so .. but I wanted to mention that this was a concern of mine too. I don't want my kids to think pirates are good guys! And yet sailing for treasure is so much fun to play.

 

There's a great book (actually it's one of a series) called Obadiah the Bold, by Brinton Turkle. I believe the family in it are Quakers, and it's set sort of colonial era. Obadiah decides he wants to be a pirate, and then through talks with his dad and some rough family play, decides that maybe being a pirate isn't all it's cracked up to be. It might be a good book to read as a family if you want your kids to still be able to play but not buy into the glamor of the actual real pirates.

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Somethings are just part of child and do not make a child mean, spiteful, hateful etc. It's imaginative play that at times may get out of hand but most times pirates are looking for treasure and a good sword fight along the way is all part of it. I miss my little pirates, cowboys, indiana jones, ninja's etc. That part of my boys childhood is past and how I wish I had taken time to video them or somehow recorded it. My boys are rapidly growing into wonderful, kind, funny, great to be around young men leaving all the gun fights, sword fights, and treasurehunting in the past. Now they still do get into some wrestling matches now and again:001_huh::lol:

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My ds heard a blurb about the recent pirates activity and said, "You mean pirates are real?" If he played pirates, it would be like playing Superman or space aliens... completely pretend. I believe in pretend play so long as good conquers evil. The "terminology" is not so important IMHO.

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  • 1 month later...

We do two unit studies per year to just mix things up a little. I allow my ds to choose our unit studies and last year he chose pirates for one of our studies. We found this study to be very interesting. Lots of good books and movies on real pirates. YES, they were very bad people, but it was a good study to do with my son.

 

Cornflower

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