mommyoftwinboys Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I feel like that with regards to different denominations, would you mind helping me if you have any insight on the subject? I have done some really, really bad things in the past. Things that are unmentionable here. I've asked for forgiveness and truely feel that God has forgiven me. One of these things happened last year. I felt like God left me, but really I think it was me leaving him because I was so shameful. Well, after a major period, God came and rescued me. He forgave me...I do know that. In that now, I want to do so much for him for giving me this wonderful gift of grace and mercy. I want to be what he wants me to be. I want to change. I pray daily, I read the Bible(for the first time in my life). I want to go to church and change FOR HIM. But, I don't know where to go. I've visited serveral churches and just don't feel at home. I visited a church recently and went to their joining class and they had a whole class on *social issues* ie. homesexuality,sexual issues, etc. Right away I was turned off and left..I mean I understand if you don't agree with it or understand it, but shouldn't the church be a safe place for everyone? I just kind of feel like church should be for the sinner, not the self-righteous, ywim? I think everyone should be accepted in church..otherwise what is church for? I believe church is a place to worship our Lord, no matter what you've done in the past, your in church...if you've chosen to go that says something right? Where do I belong? I was raised (until my parents got a divorce) in the Russian Orthodox church. I'm not sure I'm willing to go back because I have a really hard time confessing my sins to another human being. God is one thing, but a flawed human who may judge me, I don't think I could take it. I just feel lost denomination wise and want a church were I can learn and grow, hopefully have a mentor to teach me how to live for Christ. Thank you so much if you have read this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 You may find it is not the denomination itself but the church family that helps you decide. I have a fairly sordid past, I had gone to a couple churches over the years here and there but felt out of place in all of them. Then I found my current church, from day 1 it felt like home to me. I do not necessarily agree with all the doctrines taught in my church, but I love being there, I love the people, I fit kwim. Even with my past the people in my church have loved and embraced me, and really helped me through some tough times as I deal with my past choices and lead a better life. The church I attend is a huge Pentacostal church, by huge I mean we had to start doing double services because we only had seating for 750, but last Sunday has 1150 adults plus the kids in the their respective classes. It is very family oriented and the motto is Come as you are. They don't care if you show up in pj's and hair curlers just come to hear the word and share in fellowship. It is how a church should be imo If you are not finding a fit right now with a church that is okay, keep trying new ones, even ones within the same denominations, as different people make up each church even if the doctrines of the churches are shared. I am sure you will find one in due time that feels like home to you and draws you into that fellowship without reservations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon in SC Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 If you are not finding a fit right now with a church that is okay, keep trying new ones, even ones within the same denominations, as different people make up each church even if the doctrines of the churches are shared. I am sure you will find one in due time that feels like home to you and draws you into that fellowship without reservations. :iagree: Our church is one like you seek (welcoming no matter the past). Don't settle for anything less. God will guide you and direct you, no doubt. There is a church home for YOU!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catalinakel Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 What we have done in the past has nothing to do with where we belong "denominationally". I've had a very messed up past, but God has ministered to me in a variety of churches, each of which, I believe, I have been led by God to attend. What are your choices? Visit and talk with the believers there. Make an appointment with the pastor to find out more. It is not necessary for you to 'air your dirty laundry,' so to speak. God drowns our sins in a sea of forgetfullness...You needn't bring them up...they are not held against you. Find a place where the scriptures are taught faithfully and participate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Just wanted to offer you a :grouphug: I would be happy to pray that you find the church God has in mind for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenNC Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Have you looked at United Church of Christ or the Episcopal Church? Both tend to be quite liberal and accepting on social issues. Given your background in the Orthodox Church, Episcopal might be a good fit if you enjoyed liturgy---not sure of the level of liturgy in a UCC church. Neither has a mandatory confessional, to my knowledge. I haven't ever attended a UCC service, but we were in the Episcopal Church for a number of years. There is a private confessional rite available if you wanted to use it, but I don't know of anyone who ever mentioned having done so. I know we never did nor was it suggested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Church might be a "safe" place for everyone, but people who have been living in sin, including s*xual sin, will want to repent of those sins, and with the help of their brothers and sisters in the church and the grace of God, strive not to commit those sins again. There are two denominations I can recommend: Southern Baptist and Assembly of God. Although they have differing beliefs in some areas, they share a strong, biblical basis in the things which affect our salvation. I can't speak to specific churches, of course, but those would be the two which I can recommend overall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 It's hard to suggest a denomination - as someone stated it's more the people who are there than their doctrine. In theory, all denominations should welcome all confessed believers in Christ with open arms without any consideration of their past. Reality is that some churches are groups of self-righteous know-it-alls who have never been outside of their little world and have no idea about "real life". The idea at our church is that we're a hospital, not a country club. We're all broken and no matter the sin, God loves us and is healing us. We help each other in that journey. I will say that even within this church where that is the overriding principle, there are groups that don't seem to live out this belief. But we love them anyway! It is hard finding a place where you belong. I would just suggest that you look at the doctrine of each group you visit and see if it is truly what you believe. If there is something 'off' for you, keep looking. God has a place in mind for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melora in NC Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Have you looked at United Church of Christ or the Episcopal Church? Both tend to be quite liberal and accepting on social issues. Given your background in the Orthodox Church, Episcopal might be a good fit if you enjoyed liturgy---not sure of the level of liturgy in a UCC church. Neither has a mandatory confessional, to my knowledge. :iagree: We are Episcopalians, and the church we attend is very non-judgemental. I have heard from several in our congregation that they didn't "fit" in other churches but felt accepted at our church. I think this would vary a lot by individual churches, though, as our Episcopal church in Florida was much more conservative. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetpeach Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 You belong in a church where people deeply understand their need for a Saviour, know they are all broken and messy without Jesus and are convinced that nothing apart from walking in a close, loving relationship with God will sustain them. How will you know when you've found such a church? You'll smell grace there. People won't see your past as a hinderance to what God has planned for you. They will celebrate that another prodigal "daughter" has returned. You'll find healthy, accountable, non-judgemental relationships at this church. We're all messy and busted up due to the fall . . . the church you're looking for will embrace that as central theme and understand what that means. Good Luck! T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie in AR Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 You belong in a church where people deeply understand their need for a Saviour, know they are all broken and messy without Jesus and are convinced that nothing apart from walking in a close, loving relationship with God will sustain them. How will you know when you've found such a church? You'll smell grace there. People won't see your past as a hinderance to what God has planned for you. They will celebrate that another prodigal "daughter" has returned. You'll find healthy, accountable, non-judgemental relationships at this church. We're all messy and busted up due to the fall . . . the church you're looking for will embrace that as central theme and understand what that means. Good Luck! T :iagree: What a terrific post! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoftwinboys Posted March 14, 2009 Author Share Posted March 14, 2009 Thank you all for the responses. I really appreciate it! I actually have visited the local Episcopal church as well as the UCC. The Episcopal was just too conservative for me, it could have been that specific church but it wasn't a good fit. Although they did place an emphasis on protecting the environment on their website which I really like. The local UCC...nice people, very small and aging congregation...but..it just didn't fit..does that make sense? Their is no reason why it shouldn't but it just doesn't.... I feel like we've visited every church under the sun in our little town(except Lutheran..we haven't tried that for some reason..maybe that's next) I guessing because I live in a historic district that doesn't have much turnover, the local churches are...dying... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoftwinboys Posted March 14, 2009 Author Share Posted March 14, 2009 Sweetpeach..if I could find what you described...I'd never leave (-: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenNC Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 (edited) Thank you all for the responses. I really appreciate it! I actually have visited the local Episcopal church as well as the UCC. The Episcopal was just too conservative for me, it could have been that specific church but it wasn't a good fit. Although they did place an emphasis on protecting the environment on their website which I really like. The local UCC...nice people, very small and aging congregation...but..it just didn't fit..does that make sense? Their is no reason why it shouldn't but it just doesn't.... I feel like we've visited every church under the sun in our little town(except Lutheran..we haven't tried that for some reason..maybe that's next) I guessing because I live in a historic district that doesn't have much turnover, the local churches are...dying... It could well have been the church with the Episcopalians. The one we attended was very liberal, but it was also a downtown church in a large city and those overall tend to be more liberal. Lutheran should definitely be liturgical, but could be too socially conservative, especially depending on the synod (governing body) to which it belongs. Churches can vary a great deal within the same denomination, though there are some general guidelines. Go with your gut on the "doesn't fit". You may have to try searching a bit farther afield to find a fit, if that is possible (not knowing how populated your area is). We have driven half an hour or more one way to find a spiritual community that was a good fit and we live in a very populous area--we just don't fit in with the vast majority of faith communities in our area ;). Also try taking a look around to see if there are any American Baptist USA churches (not American Baptist Association---different group). They are a very different denomination than Southern Baptist. The ones here are very open to interfaith work (including pulpit exchanges with the local rabbis) for instance, include women clergy and welcoming to a wide variety of people. http://www.abc-usa.org/ is the denominational website, with a "find a church" feature. Most denominations have such a website with search feature, if you can find a denomination that might work for you. For fun, have you tried the Beliefomatic quiz on Beliefnet? http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/Quizzes/BeliefOMatic.aspx It might give an idea of some denominations you had not previously considered to at least look at---it comes out pretty close for me in a rough fashion. Edited March 14, 2009 by KarenNC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 I visited a church recently and went to their joining class and they had a whole class on *social issues* ie. homesexuality,sexual issues, etc. Right away I was turned off and left..I mean I understand if you don't agree with it or understand it, but shouldn't the church be a safe place for everyone? I just kind of feel like church should be for the sinner, not the self-righteous, ywim? I think everyone should be accepted in church..otherwise what is church for? I believe church is a place to worship our Lord, no matter what you've done in the past, your in church...if you've chosen to go that says something right? I'm Episcopalian, and right now, have to stay that way (long story). My response to the above portion of your post is just to say, yes, church is definitely for the sinner, not the self-righteous. Everyone should be accepted. But here's the rub--there has to be a definition of what sin is. For some, the "social issues" aren't social issues only. The practice of some of the behaviors that make up those issues is seen as sin. Honestly, I don't know if it's the same for you, but the fact that you feel some things you have done are wrong tells me you know about sin (and grace, thank God!). Who gets to define what sin is? Ok. Nuff said about all that. Your heart is obviously tender to the Lord right now, and I don't mean to drag you down. I know where you belong--right where you are, in the arms of God. He's got you, Honey, and he will show you a place where you can worship him. And I'm sure he's very, very happy you've come home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 (edited) Have you looked at any of the local non-denominational churches? Another place to look for a less conservative church is a church that has a woman pastor. ETA: I went back and read your original post again. Feel free not to answer this question publicly if you don't want to. Could you be at a place in your journey where you need to go to confession to feel your best? Because of the church you were raised in, could confession be something you need to do to move past where you are? Maybe if you find an Orthodox church, even one in a town away from yours where no one knows who you are, go to confession and receive the sacrament, you'll feel more at peace. Just a thought. Edited March 14, 2009 by Parrothead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kokotg Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Thank you all for the responses. I really appreciate it! I actually have visited the local Episcopal church as well as the UCC. The Episcopal was just too conservative for me, it could have been that specific church but it wasn't a good fit. Although they did place an emphasis on protecting the environment on their website which I really like. The local UCC...nice people, very small and aging congregation...but..it just didn't fit..does that make sense? Their is no reason why it shouldn't but it just doesn't.... I feel like we've visited every church under the sun in our little town(except Lutheran..we haven't tried that for some reason..maybe that's next) I guessing because I live in a historic district that doesn't have much turnover, the local churches are...dying... We live out in...exurbia, I guess it is, and, unfortunately, we find that we need to drive closer in to the city to find a church we feel comfortable in (we look for some of the same things you do). The UCC's government is at the congregational level, so, much like with Baptists, you'll find big differences from congregation to congregation. The public face of the UCC is very liberal, but, while technically a newer denomination, it's merger of some very old ones (the Pilgrims were Congregationalists), so a lot of congregations are still more conservative. Anyway, right now we drive nearly an hour to church--though we're considering switching to a church "only" half an hour away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 You might find a match for your journey at a Methodist or Presbyterian (USA) church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I found what I was looking for in a Lutheran church. I understand that some can be more conservative than others, but the general atmosphere in the one which I attend is that all who believe in Christ are welcome. There are college students who show up having obviously dragged themselves out of bed at the last minute, and the welcome is 'glad you could make it!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest janainaz Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 People are the church, not the building or the denomination. You will find God in the hearts of those that love you and those that you love. You will find God in and through mercy. Unfortunately, most churches are bent on reminding people of what sinners they are instead of how loved they are by God. We should be living free and forgiven. In regard to you wanting to change for God, you are already perfect in His eyes and only in truly knowing that will your heart be transformed. Many churches have built God up to be a power monger that is totally impossible to please instead of a loving father who put His son on the cross out of his great love for his children. Think about how you feel about your kids. Do you want them to walk around focused on how imperfect they are, or do you want them to carry in their hearts just how very loved they are? When people focus on their flaws, they also focus on others flaws. When people focus on love, how loved they are, they see the best in others. Love vs. law. So, in looking for a church, find a church that preaches the good news and that reminds the congregation of the great and deep love of God. You are a Christian and that means you should feel free. Always look at God from the heart of how you truly feel about your children. What do you want for them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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