ElizabethB Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Our daughter recently discovered that a lot of her friends her age get allowances. My husband and I aren't sure what we think about the whole thing, and would like to get ideas from a Biblical perspective, and ideas from other Christian parents about what you have done and how that's worked out. Also, book recommendations would be appreciated. I recently read Randy Alcorn's "Money, Possessions, and Eternity," and it had some good ideas, but I'd like to read some more on the topic. Currently, she does some chores, but nothing for pay. She occasionally gets money from out of town relatives for gifts. We also give $1 per tooth, no tooth fairy, just a direct handout! Her last tooth, she was very sweet, she bought something for her brother with half of her money. While we want our children to have a good work ethic and also encourage giving, we don't want them to think that they're only helping out for money. Currently, they (mostly) enjoy working to do their part and help out the family. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Our daughter recently discovered that a lot of her friends her age get allowances. My husband and I aren't sure what we think about the whole thing, and would like to get ideas from a Biblical perspective, and ideas from other Christian parents about what you have done and how that's worked out. Also, book recommendations would be appreciated. I recently read Randy Alcorn's "Money, Possessions, and Eternity," and it had some good ideas, but I'd like to read some more on the topic. Currently, she does some chores, but nothing for pay. She occasionally gets money from out of town relatives for gifts. We also give $1 per tooth, no tooth fairy, just a direct handout! Her last tooth, she was very sweet, she bought something for her brother with half of her money. While we want our children to have a good work ethic and also encourage giving, we don't want them to think that they're only helping out for money. Currently, they (mostly) enjoy working to do their part and help out the family. Thanks! I think that there are several approaches to this. The one that we finally came to was that we couldn't expect the kids to learn the value of money without having to make some of their own decisions about it. That includes buying things that we think are foolish. (Nothing like buying a flea market toy that breaks the next day to create a cautious consumer.) We also decided not to link their chores and their allowance. The way we explained it to them is that their chores are their chores because they are members of the family, not because that's how they earn money. And I (who don't currently work for pay) have command over some of the family money because of my position in the family, not because of my work input (just as money from my jobs was family money, not my money). Likewise, the kids are given command over some money. I've also found that this really cuts down on requests for snacks or drinks or little toys. If they aren't willing to spend their own money, then they don't need it from me. My kids have earned extra money for extra projects from time to time. And I used to pay a dime for every song they could identify on Classic Radio. After a couple years of saving up, they were able to pay for their own Nintendo DS's. I've also used this sort of approach when we travel. I've told them that they have $20 to spend on souvenirs. Generally they spend it well. I've even been known to give them the remainder if they choose not to spend it all. I figure that encourages them to save for something they really want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reya Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Chores and allowance should be separate! :-) There are lots of books about the subject--the rationale behind this separation is sound. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 (edited) We believe as parents that it is our duty to teach our ds how to be a good steward of many things, money included. He has been earning an allowance since he was about three years old. I am also a firm believer that it needs to be intentionally taught, not just modeled. My parents were wonderful money managers, but they never taught me how to handle money. Dh was raised in a similar situation. We learned many things the hard way. :glare: My son is very in tune to the economics of his world. He buys most of his own games and toys. He understands how to budget for tax, what the resale value of a used video game is, and how to save for something you want. He does chores each Saturday for pay. There are many things he does during the week that are unpaid, those are just part of the household duties. ETA: Our goal is that ds will grow into a godly young man that has options in his life. If he is still learning how to live and understand the subtle nuances of money as a young adult he may miss a God given opportunity. We are a self-employed family so occasionally my ds will go to work with his dad, but at his age there are few opportunities to earn money outside of the household, hence our rationale for paying for chores. Again not all chores are paid and at age 5 they were very different than now. Edited March 9, 2009 by elegantlion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 We also do allowance primarily as a tool for teaching money management. Ds is only 5 but my ultimate goal is that he leaves home having good money managment skills. He gets $2.50 a week (1/2 his age). He must tithe 10% to church. He must save $1.00 and can have the other $1.25 to spend or save. So far he's mostly saved. He got up to about $32 when he really wanted to spend some. We took him to the toy store and let him have a set amount. I have to say the toy he bought with that money has been treated amazingly well and is very special to him. We do not tie allowance to chores. My explanation to him is that as he gets older he will have more responsibilities of all kinds, and one of the benefits of being older is getting an allowance. The ultimate plan is that as he gets older he will get more money and become more and more responsible for his own purchases. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Dave Ramsey has many books on this--some for the parents to read for themselves and others to use with the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T Baer Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 he would pay me 10 cents a hour (This was a long time ago). I was pumping gas, changing and fixing flat tires, cleaning the men's restroom (yuck!) and sweeping. Not having a business like this, we still wanted our son to learn not only the value of money but the importance of working. So we've incorporated Dave Ramsey's commission idea. He has specific jobs in the house with either a .50 or 1.00 amount assigned to it. He gets paid each week. The amount depends on if he completes them, but he does. This teaches him to be responsibility. Having been faithful with this, he can earn extra money being faithful with more. He then sets aside money for tithing, saving and spending. He, like my husband and I have responsibilities that are just part of being in our family which don't get a monetary amount. I do the cooking and cleaning, my husband takes care of the lawns and keeps our finances up to date on the computer. Our son then is required to keep his room clean, do his school work, help clear the table and other things. He also puts away a few of our retired neighbors trash cans or shovels their sidewalk especially the elderly women. It's his way to show his love and respect and he considers this his ministry to them. Of course sometimes they pay him, but he knows this isn't why he does it. I think because we model doing for others without expecting to get something in return that he does it too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 Thanks for all the ideas! I appreciate it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wide eyes & laughter Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Dave Ramsey has many books on this--some for the parents to read for themselves and others to use with the kids. :iagree: DR's view is what settled thid debate/question in our minds: He says don't call it "allowance", for starters. He says pay them regularly for a job well done.... I don't mean to be vague; to be honest, I don't recall everything he said about this and how dh and I decided to implement teaching money management to our dc except to say DR settled things for us and we probably tweaked some things to fit our family. Bottom line: I second the DR recommendation! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 My theories haven't been tested yet, by me - my dc are still pretty young. Allowance is not something earned - it's $ given just for being a child in the family. A wage is something earned for work. Children should have chores that are just daily responsibilities for living in your home and the option of chores that are above and beyond the minimum. Daily responsibilities are simply expected. The chores that are above and beyond the minimum should be awarded with a wage - earned $. Whatever you and your dh deem "daily responsibilities" and "above and beyond" is up to you. I think things like keeping your own room tidy, a turn with the dishes, taking out the trash are daily responsibilities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 (edited) Our situation is unique, and I'm grateful that's the case. We own a business. Our boys, from age 8 or so, are able to contribute in meaningful ways to that business, and we pay them accordingly. I am very glad that they're able to learn this work ethic, along with the accompanying money management, because I truly do see the benefits in teaching our children to be good stewards of their money. If this real work didn't exist, however, I wouldn't simply provide them allowance. I don't support giving children ~ especially very young children ~ money merely as means to an end (e.g. "learning financial management"), and I don't believe in financially rewarding them for contributing to the general family/home-related chores. Edited March 10, 2009 by Colleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 We don't give allowances here. My dh doesn't even like paying them for extra chores. He had a fit when I paid my dd to sort baby socks since I didn't feel like doing it. Our dc are pretty good with $ and know how to save. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate CA Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 (edited) It looks like your daughter is still very young, so what I have to say may or may not be helpful. :D We made certain jobs "paying" jobs and others a part of family life that they don't get paid for. Dishes, laundry, cleaning rooms, vacuuming, bathroom cleaning, sweeping--those are all family life jobs. Mowing the lawns, weeding the yard, scrubbing the grout on the kitchen floor tile--those are paying jobs. My one entrepreneurial daughter made up "Lawn Mowing Service" cards and passed them out to the neighbors. She makes $5.00 per front lawn per week. She started this when she was 11. In the summer she makes quite a bit from the two neighbors that have thus far hired her. I am trying to teach them two things; one is that they are a part of a family and that means you are responsible for your share of the work. Two, that they are worthy of their hire for jobs that are hard and if they are willing to work hard at icky jobs, I am willing to pay them. :D I started out making the bathrooms a paying job - this was when my daughters were much younger. I made them clean the whole bathroom the way I wanted it done. If they did this they got $2.00 per week. (!!) LOL But that $2.00 was a powerful motivator. After they had been doing that for years I stopped paying them (I told them this, of course) and they began doing the lawns for money. Now it is a family job that they don't get money for. It was a good beginning for them and helped them learn the value of earning money. We still don't pay them much for doing the lawns, but the money is still a motivator for my son. My oldest daughter does things for the love of serving. Even though we pay her for the front lawn, she does a lot that we don't ask her to do in the house with a willing heart. It is God's grace manifesting itself in her. I cannot tell you what that means to us to see! God is good. :001_smile: Edited March 10, 2009 by Kate CA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 We don't give an allowance, either. Just because the dc are a part of this family doesn't entitle them to any kind of payment.:001_smile: We provide them what they need in a timely manner. The birthday money they receive is divided...part into long-term savings, we encourage giving, and they may spend the rest on an approved item. If they need some more money for an item they're saving for, they may earn it by doing some of *my* chores. And I have a list of those! I've also offered money if they'll do a once-in-a-while chore for me, too. I agree with the pp about when to start teaching money management. We don't feel it needs to start at a young age as far as spending goes. I'm not going to let dc buy a piece of carp just so they have that experience. I think teens will grasp the concept quickly and without costly mistakes if taught correctly. We teach constantly about money in our home. But, like alcohol, we don't feel they need to experience it to learn about it.:D Of course, this is one of those issues that isn't going to scar the child one way or the other, imo. Dc who get an allowance, or ones who don't, aren't going to grow up to be poor money managers because of, or lack of, the allowance itself. The lessons will be in how we teach money management and in the work ethic we parents instill. When our dc have a paying job, or their business takes off, then they will be responsible for buying their clothes and whatever else they can afford. And all this is subject to change at any time! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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