battlemaiden Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 My neighbor whose daughter is home with cancer has a dog. She got this dog from Hospice. It was a therapeutic dog for a man who passed away and then Hospice gave it to my neighbor. Following? Well the previous owner's family (the one who passed away) wants "visiting rights" with this dog. :001_huh: They apparently have an emotional attachment to the dog- I guess that isn't entirely unusual. The previous dog owner's family found out where the dog currently lives- the details on how that happened are sketchy. They come over and visit the dog. :001_huh: They have asked to take it home for a weekend. :001_huh: My neighbor has declined. Um, did I mention the daughter is home on hospice care? She has younger sisters. It is their family dog now. Are these people as crazy and inappropriate as I think? My neighbor has allowed them to take the dog for walks in the neighborhood. She is a saint. I would have asked them to go away and not ever come back. How was that little peek into bizarre-land? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Wow. I think that is terribly insensitive of that family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I find it inappropriate, and I would not allow the dog out of my sight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole M Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I find it inappropriate, and I would not allow the dog out of my sight. I agree. I also think that grieving people do very, very strange things, so I would cut them some slack. Still keep an eye on the dog and set firm boundaries.... And I guess I would also cut the mom who is allowing visits a little slack as well, because she, too, most appropriately, is focusing her energies, I imagine, on her daughter and perhaps does not see how goofball this other family's behavior is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntPol Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Can Hospice switch dogs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 It is not appropriate, and it is not helpful to the other family. They need to let go. I hope she can find a gentle way to tell them to get lost. She needs all of her energy to focus on her dd, not other people grief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 That is truly sad. I'd call the hospice and encourage them to contact the other family. :grouphug: Hugs and prayers for you and your neighbors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Very NOT healthy for anyone, imnsho. I'd be furious that hospice apparently gave my private information out to a 3rd party. I'd be freaked that said 3rd unknown party even felt they had the right to that information, much less that it was okay to contact me in any way. I'd call the hospice center and let them know that they need to deal with that family without me or my attorney and a restraining order would do it. Seriously. I'd be totally freaked out. All that aside, if they were that attached to the dog, they should have said/done something with hospice BEFORE the dog was taken, not afterwards. Does the dog belong to the current family or to hospice? or for that matter, to a family that donates their special dog to hospice for periods of time when he is needed? Not that it matters, because it sure isn't that other family's dog. But if it were ME, I'd hesitate to bring in a dog that I knew we couldn't keep. Therapy or otherwise, my remaining children would be doubly hurt by the loss of a sibling and a pet.:( to me, that's way weird..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I hope they paid that much attention to their dad. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 My neighbor whose daughter is home with cancer has a dog. She got this dog from Hospice. It was a therapeutic dog for a man who passed away and then Hospice gave it to my neighbor. Following? Well the previous owner's family (the one who passed away) wants "visiting rights" with this dog. :001_huh: They apparently have an emotional attachment to the dog- I guess that isn't entirely unusual. The previous dog owner's family found out where the dog currently lives- the details on how that happened are sketchy. They come over and visit the dog. :001_huh: They have asked to take it home for a weekend. :001_huh: My neighbor has declined. Um, did I mention the daughter is home on hospice care? She has younger sisters. It is their family dog now. Are these people as crazy and inappropriate as I think? My neighbor has allowed them to take the dog for walks in the neighborhood. She is a saint. I would have asked them to go away and not ever come back. How was that little peek into bizarre-land? I guess it depends on how the 'old' family contacted the 'new' family and what was said in the first conversation. If the old family called and said "hey, we're the old family. We heard Rover is with you now. Our kids really miss Rover and we were wondering if they could come visit sometime." New family says "Sure, I understand. Come on by when ever you like and visit Rover." Old family shows up, and since they already have a relationship with Rover, pick up where they left off. Taking him for walks and spending real time with him is what they know.... If the new family was contacted and said 'sure come on over/in and continue your relationship with Rover, then I guess I understand how it has progressed to this point. If they have tried to discourage the relationship, and they keep calling/contacting Rover...then I see a problem. The old family sounds like they are really, really attached, and I can imagine it must be hard on them to have not only lost a loved one, but a 'family' pet too. They do need to let go, but it sounds like they may need a nudge to do so. Soooooo sad for everyone involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Are these people as crazy and inappropriate as I think? Rescue people have told me that it is confusing to a dog bonding to a new family and NOT to go visit the previous owner. I sent her yearly letters with picture, no return addy. I got her address from the vet records that came with the dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara R Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 But it's kind of a weird program too, kwim? I can see pets being comforting to someone in hospice, as well as the family. Seems kind of cruel to insist that the pet go to a new home once the person dies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
battlemaiden Posted March 5, 2009 Author Share Posted March 5, 2009 What I find terribly inappropriate is their apparent disregard for the current family. Did it not occur to them that this dog is bonding with a new family? I don't know all the details, but the dog apparently didn't have a home after his previous owner passed away. Hospice placed the dog with my neighbor because he is "trained" as a therapeutic animal. As I understand it, he will stay with my neighbor until he dies. I don't think he belongs to Hospice, but I think they did the match up. Clear as mud? I know these people showed up on their doorstep uninvited. My neighbor recognized their bond, and has allowed them to see the dog and walk him, but there is a limit. Her younger, healthy daughters freak a little when these people take him. Who asks to take a dog for the weekend? Bizarre. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
battlemaiden Posted March 5, 2009 Author Share Posted March 5, 2009 I hope they paid that much attention to their dad. Rosie I think you are hitting the nail with this. It isn't their Dad, as I understand it. But if they were so close why wasn't the dog placed with them? Jo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Rescue people have told me that it is confusing to a dog bonding to a new family and NOT to go visit the previous owner. I sent her yearly letters with picture, no return addy. I got her address from the vet records that came with the dog. this has always been my understanding as well. in my area they even try to keep retired K9s in the police with their "partners" rather than adopt them out. What I find terribly inappropriate is their apparent disregard for the current family. Did it not occur to them that this dog is bonding with a new family? I don't know all the details, but the dog apparently didn't have a home after his previous owner passed away. Hospice placed the dog with my neighbor because he is "trained" as a therapeutic animal. As I understand it, he will stay with my neighbor until he dies. I don't think he belongs to Hospice, but I think they did the match up. Clear as mud? very clear and my understanding of how it is normally done actually. the animal is basicly adopted out to a family that needs its special talents and stays until it dies (because that's what the good animal deserves for his service - a loving permanent home):) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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