Why is finding community so hard?! (Boston area)

[lynsayf]

Hi there. I’m beginning the 1st grade WTM curriculum with my twins in the fall. I am having the hardest time finding anyone nearby who is following WTM at all, let alone 1st grade specifically. What gives? Is there anyone out there near Boston? 
 

Bueller? 

[Rosie_0801]

If it's any consolation, most people prefer to discuss homeschooling choices with strangers online than people irl. 

[Clarita]

Most of my IRL homeschool friends aren't following WTM at all. Originally I felt kind of alienated, because I was teased a bit about being so "rigorous." 3 years in now, I'm glad I have those friends. Sometimes they can give me ideas of things to do when WTM isn't working as well as I hoped. I also realized there wasn't one curriculum they were all using and we were all doing different things to cater best to our families. I do come here so I can specifically discuss WTM-esque things.

[ScoutTN]

Homeschooling community doesn’t have to be WTM or classical people. And definitely doesn’t have to be  kids in exactly your kids’ grade. 

Edited July 22 by ScoutTN

[8filltheheart]

In my 30 yrs of homeschooling, I have never known another homeschool family who homeschools similarly to our family. Most homeschool with radically different methodologies than I would ever use (most do school in a box approaches.) We just dont talk about homeschooling philosophies or curriculum.

Edited July 22 by 8filltheheart

[sweet2ndchance]

One of the benefits of homeschooling for us was that the kids learned how to socialize with people of all ages. They weren't forced to spend time with only kids their own age. They played with kids older and younger than them and they could hold conversations with adults of any age. My youngest is the only one left at home still and he is just as comfortable talking to his great grandma and her friends as he is kids his own age.

As an adult, I certainly do not only seek out friendships and social interactions with only those whose birthdays are within 12 months of mine. In fact, none of the friends I've made since high school have been my own age. Even in college, I had friends who were much older than me and much younger than me. Neighbors and coworkers are always a variety of ages.

I'd say that homeschooling actually gives a more realistic experience of real world socialization than age segregated classrooms.

Oh, one more thing to add, while we did have some homeschool groups and friends, most of my kids' friends growing up went to public school. They met their friends either in the neighborhood or through group activities like sports and scouting. Homeschooling support for me came from online forums like this one.

[HomeAgain]

8 hours ago, lynsayf said:

Hi there. I’m beginning the 1st grade WTM curriculum with my twins in the fall. I am having the hardest time finding anyone nearby who is following WTM at all, let alone 1st grade specifically. What gives? Is there anyone out there near Boston? 
 

Bueller? 

Well, I think you're asking questions that have no answers.

When we started out with the WTM, it was a book of procedure and curriculum suggestions.  There was no "WTM curriculum" because the only thing Peace Hill Press (now WTM Press) had put out was Story of the World, which filled a niche in the market for many people regardless of what ideology they had.  There was also the view among followers that the WTM should be taken with a slight grain of salt- know your kid, don't pay attention to the times/duration, and focus on skill acquisition rather than adhering to a set timeline.  I mean, if you jump into the first grade thread here, on the WTM, you'll find a wide variety of curriculum that people are using because they are tailoring to their own kid, not to a mythical one.

Now, you live near Boston.  A few of us live in the general area of MA, but look at the educational climate.  What are people gravitating to?  Here there is a split between the vocal nature-based followers (relaxed schoolers, CM, holistic education) and the hands-off-not-quite-ready-for-this accidental homeschoolers (full programs, online, simple to execute).  You also live in an area where the climate doesn't allow for year round outdoor meets and real estate is precious, so finding an affordable inside place is also difficult.  I mean, nobody's using the food court at the Kingston mall like, ever, so you can try there for a meet up, lol, but good luck finding a separate place.  This makes it difficult to forge educational connections.

We learned a long time ago that we needed to sort out our educational goals and keep them apart from our social goals.  If they overlapped, great, if not, that was great, too.  I'd invite moms over for a relaxed night every once in a while for snacks and homeschool chat in person.  My kid would do sports, scouts, and afterschool programs with other kids.  He'd learn on his own time at home.  It worked.

[8filltheheart]

I thought I'd share that I have been on these forums since sometime around 1999/2000. But, I have never used the WTM or Story of the World. (I started homeschooling 5 yrs before the first ed of the WTM was published.)This site was the place where highly academic families hung out. They were the only homeschoolers who I could relate to. Even my kids realized on their own never to talk about school with their friends. Their friends share other interests. 

Anyway, the pt is that curriculum and methodology can be 100% separate from friendships. 

Edited July 22 by 8filltheheart

[EKS]

20 hours ago, 8filltheheart said:

In my 30 yrs of homeschooling, I have never known another homeschool family who homeschools similarly to our family.

Same here.  And to be fair, I can't think of any one family on here who homeschools the way our family did either, though there are people who do certain things similarly.  The great thing about the WTM boards is that it is the only place I've found where there are other rigorous academic homeschoolers.  So, even though the details are different, the goals are similar.

That said, I found that the homeschoolers we were friends with, even if they didn't homeschool the way we did (and none of them did), we still had tons of things in common.  A huge area of commonality was that we were all living outside mainstream culture in that we didn't send our kids to school.  And if they were trying to educate their kids at all, we had all the trials and tribulations that that entails as well, even if they weren't as hard core with the academics as we were.  

Edited July 22 by EKS

[wendyroo]

Echoing previous posters that our homeschool friends use a wide, wide variety of materials and methods.

When my kids were younger (elementary-ish), I sought out community based on general parenting strategies more than homeschool ideologies. My kids are all neurodiverse with special needs, so I was looking for friend groups that could take kids crying, stimming, and marching to the beat of their own drummers in stride. OTOH, it was far too confusing to expose my kids to overly-permissive parenting, so we avoided those families and groups. I didn't care at all how the parents were schooling their kids as we were all actively parenting during meet-ups.

As my kids got much older, they started making friends based on shared interests and hobbies. They rarely talk about school at all, but I do still prefer that their friends come from families that value and prioritize education - but that doesn't mean they all use The Well Trained Mind or classical education...we certainly don't use it exclusively. I love that my older kids are seeing lots of different educational paths and goals. 

[ScoutTN]

@wendyroo Well said. We too went with general parenting approach, then kids’ activities. Location also played in a bit too for us, as I wasn’t up for driving across town often with littles.

[daijobu]

Since there are so few of us, it is better to look for commonalities with your nearby homeschoolers rather than differences.  

When I was homeschooling, Waldorf was the big homeschooling philosophy in my area.  Second place went to the unschoolers.  

While I was homeschooling very differently than the Waldorf parents, we had overlap as we were all low- or no-media.  I loved that my kids had friends who weren't watching TV or on a computer.  (Smartphones didn't exist then, lol.)  The unschoolers in my area tended to outdoorsy-types which was nice to have in our circle of friends.   

We all did our own things at home in the mornings and then met up in the afternoons for park days and play.  

(The Waldorf parents would also include us in Candlemas candle-making every year, which was fun, too!)  

[wisdomandtreasures]

We've been homeschooling for 10 years and I have yet to find a group! No one wants to just go hang out at the park anymore. 

[HomeAgain]

This thread was posted on Sunday and the OP has yet to communicate beyond an initial question.  I'm thinking the lack of community she is experiencing may be a direct result of personal choices and actions.