School holiday boredom and teens

[Ausmumof3]

Dd went to school for the first time this year. It’s now holidays and she’s had three days of friend catch ups, a couple of shopping trips etc and today is pretty much the first day we’ve totally stayed home. She wanted to go out and shop and drop some resumes but I asked if we could delay it until Friday because I just want one day at home to clean and catch up on jobs. We don’t have public transport so if I don’t take my kids places they are stuck at home. We do have a farm and pets but it feels like they’ve really outgrown that stuff. 
 

Ds has been on Minecraft too much and is now taking an enforced screen break. He’s also bored (he’s still homeschooling). 
 

Oldest is still working as he’s in the last year of school and needs to.

I feel like everyone here is in a kind of holding pattern… just passing time. I need some ideas for keeping teens busy and engaged with life and need to figure out what I’m doing with myself next.  DD does have stuff on every day of the rest of the holidays. She doesn’t really want to play any sports except horse riding which is out of the budget or football which doesn’t work because training is on my work night and matches are on during church. 

I find it hard to figure out what to do with her. When I was her age I just read books or played with the dog if I was bored.

My mom died early in my teens. I think because of that those years were kind of a blur. Plus we didn’t do typical stuff anyway due to religion etc. so I feel kind of clueless about what to do or how to get the kids engaged with something meaningful. 

Edited April 23 by Ausmumof3

[Laura Corin]

I don't think that you need to take responsibility for a meaningful break. So long as she's not on screens all the time, leaving it up to her to work it out is fine, even if she is 'stuck ' at home. Learning to deal with boredom is a skill.

[Arcadia]

50 minutes ago, Ausmumof3 said:

DD does have stuff on every day of the rest of the holidays.

That sounds good enough. Having time to be bored can be a luxury too. 
Does your son have anything to do? I do feel that there are times in life where people are in a holding pattern and it is not necessary a bad thing, it is just part of life. When my kids don’t have classes, I get them to help with things like decluttering their outgrown clothes from their wardrobe. 

Edited April 23 by Arcadia
typo

[bookbard]

My kids are on holidays too and my Dd also started back at school this year. I've had to work every day and so they've been at home alone the whole time, and yes it's screens the whole way. However - I don't really mind. They're out there playing together now and it's nice. They came into my room last night and told me about a D&D campaign based on Dante's inferno, and we brainstormed different characters and how they'd work on redemption throughout the process. (I was raised very religious; my children raised without, and their views on Christianity as mythology are fascinating to me). 

I do ask them to do some stuff around the house while I'm gone like the washing etc, and I kick them out to go outside when I get home. It is just gorgeous weather here right now. 

[Ausmumof3]

4 hours ago, Arcadia said:

That sounds good enough. Having time to be bored can be a luxury too. 
Does your son have anything to do? I do feel that there are times in life where people are in a holding pattern and it is not necessary a bad thing, it is just part of life. When my kids don’t have classes, I get them to help with things like decluttering their outgrown clothes from their wardrobe. 

That’s funny because that’s exactly what we did! Thanks for reminding me that it’s ok to be bored.

He has Lego, snap circuits, nerf. He had a friend over for two days, went to a friend’s yesterday, had one tennis lesson, church, and we did an art class. But yeah… I do feel like I’ve never quite figured out any teen friendly outdoor stuff for here. Most farm kids get into motor bikes etc but mine don’t seem that interested. (Oldest has outgrown it and youngest is scared of it which is fine).

Edited April 23 by Ausmumof3

[Ausmumof3]

3 hours ago, bookbard said:

My kids are on holidays too and my Dd also started back at school this year. I've had to work every day and so they've been at home alone the whole time, and yes it's screens the whole way. However - I don't really mind. They're out there playing together now and it's nice. They came into my room last night and told me about a D&D campaign based on Dante's inferno, and we brainstormed different characters and how they'd work on redemption throughout the process. (I was raised very religious; my children raised without, and their views on Christianity as mythology are fascinating to me). 

I do ask them to do some stuff around the house while I'm gone like the washing etc, and I kick them out to go outside when I get home. It is just gorgeous weather here right now. 

I don’t really limit screen time but she seems to be in a hole as far as having any games or movies she wants to do. Thankfully she’s got into painting so yay!

[HomeAgain]

Boredom and downtime are good, but also.......

We found that ds14 does best here when he discovered his own "holding pattern" with a bit of help.  Early morning is completing whatever has been set for him to accomplish (exercise, chores, holiday school work set by his teachers).  Daytime is for lounging around and hanging out. Nobody will make anyone do anything.   In the evening/early night he gets together with friends, does outside stuff with us, or we have family together time.  Rinse, repeat the next day.

[Bambam]

When my kids were younger, I helped them make a list of things they could do at home if they were bored.  As they got older, they learned if they complained about being bored, I would give them chores to do.  

I'm a big fan of making kids cook. I made my teens responsible for one meal every week. They had to plan, make grocery list, help shop, and prepare the food. For some reason, I thought it was a good idea if they cooked, I cleaned up, and if I cooked, they cleaned up. Looking back, that probably wasn't smart because I clean up as I go, and they really weren't that good about it.  For a while, they had a budget for their meal, and if they came in under budget they could have that money (but no hotdogs or anything like that - it has to be real food). I didn't keep that for long because it was a pain. 
 

[SKL]

My mom used to give us chores if we claimed to be bored.

I think you mentioned wanting to catch up on work stuff.  Is there any part of your work that you could let your daughter do for pay?  (I don't remember how old she is.)  For example, I have a box of old papers that need to be shredded, coins that need to be rolled, donations that need to be boxed ....  My kids also have junk collector zones - they could go in there with a garbage bag and throw out old stuff they aren't going to use (including a ridiculous number of empty containers).  Another nice use of time would be for them to plan a meal that they would cook, including a grocery list that they would go and purchase.  Then there's the dog grooming and other things they ought to be doing anyway.  Do any of these (or similar) apply at your house?

For future thought:  when I know my kids are going to have a long break, and we aren't traveling as a family that week, I try to arrange a light schedule for them.  For example, my kids have 3 days off this week, and I scheduled 2 one-hour zoom Spanish lessons with the teacher they chose last summer.  For younger kids (13 & under?), there are often short "camps" available on scheduled school breaks, to help working parents.  Other options I've used have included library events and volunteer gigs.

But one day of "boredom" is probably no worse than any of the above.  She might discover or re-discover a hobby or a nice book, or God forbid, reorganize a corner of her bedroom, if left to herself.  😛

[Arcadia]

@Ausmumof3  I think of being bored as finally having unscheduled “me time”.  It means my todo list for the day is done and I have time to just be bored. To think about and do what I like to do to relax, or to catch a nap. It is kind of like relatives would ask when I was a kid “what did you do today?” and I would sometimes answer “nothing, I just relax”. I am not the stereotypical type A personality, I like my “sloth time”.  
The only time I would worry about someone being bored would be if the person suffers from depression. I have friends that can’t be bored for long because their mind would spiral into demoralizing thoughts.